Thunder Shield
Joined 27th Feb, 2013 ·
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You piqued my interest, this can turn out nicely.
Pretty good. Find yourself an editor, and this could be an excellent story.
2804840 In that case i will start writing chapter 2
Heh. Amusing.
Good job for your first story ;b It's kinda funny. But it needs a ton of work.
OKAAAYYY! well let me first say that this could be something but you need to flesh this out more and perhaps give some backstory as to what is really going on. psychotic break, bad cider, a whole host of things can be the cause but give it more than a bad dream and a relationship that while among my faves deserves more than you have given it here.
2806997 All of those things will be reviled later, the reader will be figuring it out along with Twilight, stick around there will be cake
2806997Exactly! Just read the first chapter and I'm just confused. Like that their anthro in the story though.
okay alternate universe.... man this is gonna be a freaking weird ride lol
Three words: shit? Meet fan.
you had my attention, now you have my interest.
2808774 I'll do my best to keep it
Poor Twilight. This must be very difficult for her to comprehend. Although I am a bit surprised that nopony believes her amnesia. She isn't exactly known to be a prankster.
Okay? I'm as confused as Twilight. Is this a dream within a dream?
2810276 You'll start getting more of an explanation in the next part, I'm having the reader figure things out along with Twilight, but thank's for reading
Still confused here.
Twilight better figure something out, especially, since Trixie want to make whoopie.
I'm hoping to find out something soon.
2829234 I had meant to push the stopping point out but I decided against it, but next part for sure this time.....probably
Spike should get some assertivity training to help him deal with Twiligh (or maybe tranquilizer gun would be more efficient)
2831477 Oh this is only the beginning of the spike abuse
2831506 Poor little Fax Machine...
Haa...i love this story
2837552 Thanks for reading it, have a fluttershy
...Well...that was unexpected. Twilight A kept having nightmares, so she opens a portal and hauls tail. Spike, desperate not to have Trixie's heart broken, grabs Twilight B from the other side of the portal. Yet, Spike found something to help with (but not stop) her nightmares. Is that correct?
If so, I am very disappointed in Twilight A.
2844955 That explains why I'm seeing Trixie wanting peanut butter crackers in a number of fics all of a sudden.
2844955 I saw that too!
2845003>>2845007 Yeah, I would've preferred it be something else, perhaps...bananas?
2844982 Yes well err...that was because of a poorly written plot device
2845141
I hate to say it, but that's correct. Unless, the Twilight that was suppose to marry Trixie (Twilight A) was a total douche and a-hole. However, that can't be the case, because she gave Trixie a chance and wound up falling in love with her. I don't think Twilight A exhausted every resource at her disposal. Else wise, a lot more ponies would have known about her nightmares. However, it looks like the only one who knew was Spike.
I think you need a new plot device.
2845321 How about this, she had been kept up because of the nightmares and as a result her state of mind due to lack of sleep stops her from thinking things through clearly, and of course she dosnt want others to fix it she wanted to fix it herself but being unable to focus due to sleep deporvation she was unable to do so then she hit a breaking point and left
In that case, Trixie would have known about the nightmares because they sleep in the same bed. Nothing indicates that she knew about them before Twilight B (the one there now) told her.
2845614 I would like to direct you to this line from part two:
Trixie seats herself on the stool. “I-It’s alright….I know how you get with your nightmares.”
2845653
Well, I feel sheepish.
Fair enough.
mutha fucking cliffhanger
Spike?
2865090 Nope
I am so confused...I love it.
Twilight freak out...eh, I think that on a scale of one to ten for her, this would be about an eight.
So, I read this super fast and I have no clue what happened. So, bring on the next chapter!
3007475 next chapter is almost done, ive just been really unmotivated to wright it lately
3033309
Î ...I guess my keyboard was in Greek again.... Thank you for alerting me. This is a great story (I think. After all I did read it fast.) and I look forward to the next chapter.
3033309
MOTIVATION! MOTIVATION! MOTIVATION!
Wow! I wonder how many other ponies have 'The Big Mac'?
And I highly doubt Spike 'saw nothing'.
My brain is just being weird, but I wonder how the other Twilight is doing, especially without her beloved?
Well, Twilight seems to be accepting her new life rather nicely.
...Well, Rarity is going to be surprised the next morning.
Twilight has a....odd mother.
Good story besides the spelling errors, the whole portal thing is interesting and It makes me think the other two Trixie was engaged to also had the nightmares and that's why they left her. Not quite sure on why Twilight decided to open a portal to escape and leave another Twilight to 'deal' with Trixie,as opposed to just breaking up with her, but then again Twilight's plans are usually depicted as ridiculously over the top. Can't wait to see what happens next.
This is a awesome story.
2831511 The Little Fax Machine That Could