• Published 1st Jul 2013
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Dimension Jumper - redtau



Dimensional Explorer Sarah Jordan is trapped in a land filled with Nightmare spirits, wooden wolves, and ponies.

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Party Plotting

I looked at the wall of my courtroom and glared. Over twenty letters, each penned carefully by my own hand, were now pinned or taped to the wall. Some were still unopened. Next to almost every one was a return letter of rejection. Some were soft, quiet letters of refusal to my party in long flowing lines of diplomatic platitudes. Others were simpler, or had more valid reasons, like the gryphon Emperor not being able to get away during a national holiday on such short notice. Two or three were blunt and snarky, remarking on how they would never fall for such an obvious trap.

One letter was missing, but only because Zaephir had smelled the poison before the envelope was even opened. I had a great urge to travel to the coward's home and feed him his letter.

"I have to say, some of these responses were disturbingly fast." Red said, taping the final rejection, now clean of poison, in place. "I believe we are going to have two minor dignitaries from Saddle Arabia and one minotaur emissary."

"Five bits says the dignitaries drop out. They were the first to respond and I don't think they knew what they were really accepting. And the minotaur doesn't count, it's Thomas' brother Robert."

"Do you want to try and return the food you've ordered?" a gryphon asked.

I slammed my fist into the stone wall , causing a number of pages to flutter loose and those around me to jump. "WHO CARES A DAMN ABOUT THE FOOD!?" I banged my head against the wall. "What is the point of trying to prove things are different if no one will give you a bucking chance?"

There was an uncomfortable silence for a while, as the gathered court waited for someone to be brave enough to approach me.

"Sarah?" Red asked.

"Buck them."

A gryphon looked up startled. "Your Majesty?"

"I said buck them!" I practically yelled. "They don't want to come? They want to hide and snivel and cower? BUCK THEM! I've got a God damned castle in the middle of a chaotic forest! I've got this world's apex predator sleeping in my throne room and The Nightmare bound into my very skin!! And you know what else I've got?"

There were a few worried head shakes of no from those around me.

"A castle full of creatures that deserve a party! So we are going to have one. Not just a party, but THE Party!!!" I turned to Red. "Send out runners! Find me musicians, entertainers, anything you can. I'm not doing a stuffy ball or a pompous meet and greet! I don't care who comes and what they think. I want to rock this castle so hard we wake hibernating ursas! I want creatures dancing till Celestia raises the sun, and enough booze to knock a dragon out till Thursday!!!"

There was a cheer, and they all started working happily towards the new and improved party. Zaepher came up next to me, smiling.

"I see you've decided I'm not so dangerous." I said to her.

"Though these events did take their toll, I marvel at your self control." she said.

"Oh? Why?"

She reached out and placed a hoof on the wall near where I'd punched it. "You caused but a few loose pages to fall. If I were you, we would be rebuilding the wall."


Two days later saw the arrival of the only two entertainers the Rovers had managed to lure, along with Bon Bon and Lyra and a dozen other creatures. What surprised me most was that they arrived via the Rovers tunnel network. Canids and minotaurs usually used the tunnels, while zebras and gryphons just came through the forest.

As was standard for new arrivals by now, they had sent a runner ahead to let me know who was coming and when. This let me sequester a few of the more shocking inhabitants of the castle, namely D and the changelings, out of sight. D was using his demonic nature to explore the east wing, and Pio had his family learning as many songs as they could. With a party coming up, I had promised them a central spot as a band, and they were more committed than ever to doing a good job.

"Good morning everybody!" I said cheerful, waving my arm. The Rovers that knew me waved back happily, the rest all seemed to cringe away. "My name is Sarah, and I welcome you to my castle. I know some of you have traveled quite far, and there are beds, water, and warm food waiting. First however, I need to explain a few things.

"One, you are not in Equestria right now. You are in my domain, and my word is law. I don't ask much of you, just for you to behave peacefully with ALL the inhabitants here, regardless of history. If I have to break up a fight between you and someone else, I will personally kick both of you deep into the Everfree. Stay friendly, and everything will be fine.

"Infirmary is that way if your wounded." I waved towards a pair of gryphon nurses standing nearby. "I expect everyone here to contribute to the castle, either with work, funds, food, or skill. Any problems, questions or concerns can be brought to me at court, which is held every day starting at noon and ending at sunset.

"As a final note, stay out of the east wing unless you are part of the map team. Since the reconstruction the wing has been ... unstable and potentially dangerous. Thank you." I grinned at the ponies as the rest of my visitors departed. "Greetings musicians. It's good to see some new faces, and some old ones too." I held out my hand for Lyra, who shook it with gusto. "How are you lot doing? I didn't think I'd ever see you again after the send off all those weeks ago."

"You might not have if the crusaders hadn't been so adamant to us about their last visit." Bon Bon said, scowling at me. "It seems you've given up drinking yourself stupid." I blushed in embarrassment and nodded.

"This is fantastic!" Lyra said, turning her head around like she was trying to see all of the castle at once. "I can't believe you got the Nightmare to do all this work for you."

"She scared the crap out of everyone in the castle to do it, me included. If you like, I might introduce you two formally later. Why did you all come through the tunnels?

"The overland route is blocked off." One of the musicians, a grey mare with black hair and a music note for a cute mark said. "Night guard are paroling the woods. Anypony gets too close and they are warned away and forced to turn back."

"That's a bit excessive." I said. "What caused the increased security? Just me rebuilding the castle?"

"I think the crusaders and the element bearers had something to do with it." Bon Bon said. "I didn't overhear the entire conversation, but Rarity said that her sister was grounded for a month and Applejack said that Apple Bloom wouldn't tell her anything either. Loose lips and all that."

"Yo, we gonna get this audition started or not?!" Another mare, white with electric blue hair and huge sun glasses yelled out. "I got places to be, ponies to see, parties to crash."

"Ugh, I can't believe I have to compete for a gig against her."

"You two have a history?"

"Oh yeah, Tavi and I go way back. She's still bummed she didn't get to play at the princess' wedding last year."

"It's Octavia, you dubstep slinging showoff."

"Which one got married? Celestia or Luna?"

"Cadence." Octavia said. "You really are from another world aren't you?"

"Yeah and with me, DJ-PON3, your party can be out of this world too."

"Whoa, whoa, settle down. This is going to be an audition, not a street fight. Lets get you two set up in the main ballroom and I'll hear what you have to play."

"Come on everyone." Octavia called, the rest of her small orchestra picking up their instruments and tagging along.

"Flip Switch!" the DJ yelled. "Grab the gear! We got a show! I can't wait to rock the ballroom all night!!!" The DJ's assistant, a deep grey pegasus with a simple circuit diagram for her cutie mark was already dragging a cart of cables, speakers, control boards and other equipment.

"You'll actually be playing in the outside courtyard for the party." I said, leading the way.

The DJ stopped. "They why are we auditioning in the ballroom?"

"The other band is practicing in the courtyard."

"You have another band?" Octavia asked. "Are they the main event or just opening for us?"

"That will depend on how well you play, though I suspect they might just play along side you."

"What band have you got that can play alongside a classical string quartet and a royal DJ?!?"

"A very versatile one."

The DJ's assistant, giggled. "What, have you got changelings playing for the main event?"

"Yeah, how did you guess?"

The musicians stopped stunned, and Lyra just laughed.

"Come on Sarah. Canids, minotaurs and gryphons I can understand, but even you wouldn't let changelings in here. Not after they crashed the royal wedding and tried to enslave Equestria."


"Cut my hair/ gag and bore me/ Pull the pin/ Let this world explode!"

The last notes faded out, and the half dozen creatures in the audience applauded and cheered. Green flame engulfed the earth pony lead singer, and Pio turned to grin at his family.

"That was great everyone. Ok, lets try Bring me to life. A one and a two and-"

"PIO!!!"

The changeling spun round to see Sarah advancing on the stage, sword in hand, eyes glowing with Nightmare flame.

"Um, Sarah! You look....upset. Is there anything we can-"

"A wedding Pio? A Royal wedding?! And a plan to take over the entire nation?!? DOES ANY OF THIS RING A FUCKING BELL?!?!!?!?"

"Well, um, it, we, uh-"

Shadows lifted Sarah onto the stage, and the sword's point was suddenly far closer to Pio's nose than he'd ever wanted a sword to be.

"Did it occur to you, to any of you, at any time in the past weeks, to shape shift into something with a pair of fucking balls and tell me that your entire race is basically wanted for HIGH TREASON?"

"Y-y-y-you can't commit treason if you aren't a resident of the nation the crime in question is-"

"NOT THE FUCKING POINT!"

Lyra stared open mouthed. These were changelings. The monsters who had enslaved her as a zombie bridesmaid. The creatures who had captured the capital city in a matter of minutes. Six well fed, very strong changelings, and they were cowering before Sarah. She turned to express her disbelief, only to find Bon Bon, DJ Pon3, the string quartet, and almost a dozen other creatures staring in the same fashion. Near the back of the crowd, she could swear she saw bits change paws.

"We thought you knew!" Pio pleaded. "You knew about Discord and Morphi and-"

"Nightmare fed me the ancient history and I read the rest in a history book! One that doesn't get the kind of updates it needs apparently."

"Hey, we've been good!" one of the changelings said. "We are only feeding on the audience at this point."

"And we didn't steal from any creature before we became a band either" a gruff one, Leo, chimed in.

"We even asked," Gem and Ini whined in unison. "Nicely!"

Sarah glared at the lot of them. "IF you want to stay, this is the absolute end of anything hidden like this. I want a report, one thousand words, by sunset, from each of you. What you did before, during, and after the invasion, a description of any pony you might have hurt, and what you are going to do to make it up to them. Benefit concert where all proceeds go to the victims of changeling assaults, care baskets, carefully written and hoof delivered notes, something."

I turned to the growing crowd. "That goes for everyone else in the castle. If anyone is a criminal of any kind from any country, I want to know about it by sunset. Or else."

"We don't have to take this." Leo said, glaring right back at Sarah. "We can take a little one armed-"

"Try me! Please, please try me." Sarah's eyes glowed turquoise, and dark tendrils of her long hair started to shift and stretch. Around the entire band circles of blue flame erupted, carving arcane sigils into the stage. "I've just found out that one of the few ponies who came to visit us after our banishment was effectively mind raped by your queen and I am dying to see how long you can survive without an exoskeleton!!!"


Everybody had shut up and the changelings had, wisely, backed down. I was able, with some effort, to talk Nightmare out of peeling Leo like a banana as a demonstration. Everyone else had calmed down, though Bon Bon and Lyra were now standing in the far corner of the courtyard, with Bon Bon, tugging at Lyra to try and get her to leave.

"Now, if there is nothing else, I think we will set up the auditions out here since our supporting band will be busy with a writing project." I said, turning to the musicians. "DJ Pon3, you will have the western quarter of the courtyard and will need to provide your own power supplies, there are no outlets in the castle. Octavia, you and your band should appreciate the natural acoustics from the eastern wall. Now-"

"Sarah," D called out, running down the stairs, "you need-"

"STAY BACK!" Flip Switch screamed, pulling me to the ground. She stepped over me, placing herself between myself and D and spreading her wings protectively.

Then the wings unhinged and spread again.

There was a tearing sound, and the fur and feathers pulled and fell away from sleek steel underneath. Each wing became a long elegant blade on a multi-jointed arm. Her legs split and extended, making her more arachnid in appearance. Her cutie mark, a simple circuit diagram, slid off her metal hide as a pair of small cannons extended from her hips and locked onto D. Lightning arced and sparked off of her blades, and her eyes glowed with an electric blue light.

Machina had come home.

Author's Note:

At loooooooooooooooooooooong last another chapter. I want to thank Dawn Darkling for offering assistance while my primary beta reader was indisposed.

Machina is back in action. The changelings have finally had to at least start to answer for Canterlot Wedding, and things are starting to fall into place.

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