The Changing Lives of the Changeling Hive: A Documentary

by Grazy Polomare

Into the Hive: What's this stuff on the walls?

It seemed like hours had passed since the changeling sentry had left to fetch the Queen. In this time, Derpy had decided to finally stop standing like a statue and examine the camera while Larvas curled up on a rock, basking in the warmth of the sun. Raindrops just took another swig from a metal grey canteen of cider she had been hiding in her saddlebag.

"Sweet Celestia," she exclaimed, examining the metal canteen. "This tastes horrible! Maybe it's because I haven't felt the need to drink this stuff since that one night in Cloudsdale with the Wonderbolts."

"Or perhaps it is heat," Larvas inferred, "and fact that you no put bottle in cooler." The changeling decided to rise from his slumber, stretching his hooves and giving a few quick beats with his tattered wings. After lifting his ear to listen for danger-and determining that the worst thing they could run into was another patrol-the changeling trotted over to Derpy.

"Bah,"- Raindrops placed the cork back in her bottle-" if I brought a cooler I'd be lugging dead weight. The water would evaporate the moment I opened it. I'll be content with the fact that Celestia's sun doesn't fry the circuits on the camera."

The camera in question was nestled in Derpy's hooves, cradled like a foal. Raindrops wondered if her friend thought it was her filly, Dinky. It was certainly hot enough to suggest that her camerapony had already lost her mind. But few ponies ever had the skill to know what was in Derpy's head.

"What's sky Derpy?" Larvas sat down next to the pegasus, who turned to present him her camera, where she had managed to place a muffin sticker on the record button.

"It's not 'what's sky' Larvas," Raindrops corrected, "it is 'what's up my pony'."

Larvas blushed, facehoofing himself for still falling into the occasional hole that was grammar. "I don't get you ponies with your Equestrian greetings. Back at Hive, we didn't go through all this cryptic resin to say hi. Why would you ask pony what is up? They know it is sky, or ceiling, or roof, or even crazy ninja pony if unlucky. But if you ask what's sky you are asking them what is in sky?"

"I see a bird!" Derpy pointed blissfully in the horizon, where sure enough a vulture was circling ahead. Both Raindrops and Larvas gazed up, despondently observing the scavenger as it descended below to land on a dried up shrub, eyeing the trio hungrily.

"I guess that sums up our future..." Raindrops sighed, falling on her back as she made another sandpony.

Larvas had to chuckle at his pegasus friend's attitude. One moment, she was shaking his hammock like a mad mare and the next moment, she was burying her head in the sand, chastising herself on pursuing this doomed excursion into the Badlands.

"Hey!" Derpy's eyes widened, "Someone is here!"

Jolting back to her hooves, Raindrops turned to see three black, nebulous shapes emerge from the cave entrance. The one in the middle was rather tall, exceeding the others. When the haze finally departed, Raindrops recognized the form almost instantly.

Despite having seen Chrysalis several times before, Raindrops realized she had never met the Queen on her own turf. Now that she did, however, Raindrops couldn't help but feel humbled by her presence. Her hooves were like stilts, with holes that ranged from golfballs to basketballs. Her tail and hair were of a deep teal complexion while her blue-green chitinous plating acted as a natural form of armor for her midsection. Her horn looked like it had been dipped in acid, but was as large as an elephant's trunk and her elongated pupils glowed a rather sickly green. She was, for all intensive purposes, the mother of all changelings.

When compared with Larvas and his tiny, blue plated chitin and rather short stature, it was no wonder she could easily command respect from her subordinates. That and the uneasy feeling that with hundreds of changelings backing her up, she held more power then when she was traveling abroad.

On the Queen's right, Raindrops noted the familiar sentry from earlier, his head drooped down like a foal who had been scolded by his mother. On her right, however, was a changeling clad in rather ornate metal armor, which was tinged a dak navy blue. The changeling himself was just as similar to the sentry and Larvas, but the difference was that his armor actually seemed to protect him, the helmet forming a pair of changeling wings that wrapped behind his ears.

"I'm terribly sorry about that mixup," the Queen spoke, her voice echoing off the canyon walls to sound like several voices were speaking at the same time. Raindrops was mesmerized, unable to move until the familiar voice of Derpy spoke out.

"Ummm Raindrops?"

Raindrops turned to see the pegasus holding the grey metal camera in her hooves, an awkward smile plasted on her face. "Do you want me to start recording?"

"It will not be necessary," the Queen answered, "I believe you are all very weary from your trip. We've prepared some food for you in the break room if you're hungry."

Raindrops shrugged, and motioned for her two companions to follow the Queen into the chamber. A rush of cool air blew into their faces, refreshing the trio as they descended down the narrow cavern.

"I am absolutely ashamed with myself for the inconsiderate behavior of my guards," the Queen turned to glare at both her escorts. The sentry just hid his gaze from her while the other let out a humph.

"Very sorry," the sentry apologized, "I had to go and check with my commanding officer; who had to check with his commanding officer; who had to check with his commanding officer; who had to-"

"Drone 777," the Queen facehoofed herself. "There is no chain of command nor is there any protocol I recall that states one must check with every single changeling in this compound!" The unknown changeling on her side scowled.

"I thought it was a good protocol," he sneered, "especially with all this peace and stuff one cannot be too-"

"Forgive me," Chrysalis interjected, "but allow me to introduce my Commander of the Guard, Morpheus Bloom. Designation 769 and an arachnophobic just so you know. I am sure you have already been acquainted with Drone 777, or Someone as he is sometimes called."

It looks like Derpy wasn't joking Raindrops felt a surge of guilt course through her veins, causing her to glow a bright pink. Attempting to cover it up, she decided to ask a question. "Why is his name Someone?"

Morpheus simply shrugged, "Because the nurses are a bunch of lazy-"

As fast as lightning, the Queen shot a hoof out to gag her commander's mouth. Giving a sincere smile that said she had only the best intentions at heart, she ignored the muffled obscenities that were now trying to escape Morpheus' throat.

"With such a large colony, I've been forced to...well...use some rather unorthodox names for my children. However, we prefer to adress him by his designation, 777. Most changelings will know who are you talking about if you ever need him. Hopefully, that will not be necessary."

"Why is that?" Raindrops inquired.

The Queen's smile took on a more mischievous stance. "Because I've assigned him to be your personal bodyguard throughout the duration of your visit."

"WHAT!?" Someone and Raindrops shouted simultaneously

"Relax," the Queen replied coolly, "I can assure you he will be no added weight to your crew, and will help keep back some unwanted attention if you so require. As for you, Drone 777, you should be honored I would grant you such an illustrious position as to join these three making changeling history."

"With all due respect," Raindrops whispered in the Queen's ear, "I can't stand him! And we already have Larvas here as our guide-"

"Which I am sure he will make a fine source of knowledge," the Queen interjected, "but I was going to assign a guard to your little band of film makers anyway. He will be no bother now that he knows you're with me. Also, I don't need him out there messing around with Who."

"Who?" Raindrops asked.

"Oh, I meant Who the changeling," the Queen corrected, "or Drone 775."

"Ah, that makes sense." Raindrops nodded, before sighing in defeat. "Well...I guess I can't argue with the Queen of the Changelings."

"You most certainly shall not," the Queen teased, "but you will like Drone 777 once you get to know his better side."

Raindrops rolled her eyes, "You mean the side that isn't ruthlessly dedicated to pissing me off?"

"Precisely," the Queen smirked. With that she pulled her hoof out of Morpheus' mouth, the changeling coughing up saliva as he stared incredulously at his leader.

They were now far away from the cave entrance, going deeper and deeper. All around them, Raindrops could see various geometric patterns and even a few emeralds, which casted a distant glow over the passageway. Pausing to inform Derpy to start recording, she ran up to regroup with the Queen.

"Amazing," Raindrops exclaimed, "I love how you've magically fused the crystals to the wall!"

The Queen let out a tiny chuckle. "Yes, normally this cavern and many others would be darker. However, Celestia has informed me your eyes are not as adjusted to the dark as ours are. So we've brightened the place up enough for you to see all the artistry that inhabits almost every aspect of changeling architecture."

"What is this stuff made of," Raindrops touched the rubbery black substance. Derpy was now flying overhead to get a better angle, occasionally stopping to gaze at a particular pattern, and then hurry back so as to not lose the audio quality on the conversation.

The Queen turned to face Raindrops. "Are you familiar with changeling resin?"

Raindrops shook her head in confusion, "I'm afraid not."

"Then I shall try my best to educate you," the Queen stopped at a group of changelings buzzing over a torn of piece of wall. A bit of the rubbery substance laid forlorn on the floor, the smooth rock revealed over the tear as several drones began to position themselves with their rumps facing the crack, forming a sort of hexagon.

"Well," the Queen explained, "when we initially began to live in subterranean colonies, we found that our eggs and well...prey...required some hardened form of webbing to cocoon them without much work. As it turned out, the answer was inside of us."

The drones immediately began to spray a gelatinous green liquid from...well...their bottoms. The substance stuck to the wall like syrup as one of the changelings fetched a tiny black box of various sticks and instruments. Grabbing a few of these, the drone began to carve out intricate patterns and structures, trying to copy the surrounding walls.

Meanwhile, both Raindrops and Derpy were gaping, unable to comprehend what they were viewing. Larvas only sighed while the Queen and her two escorts chuckled, until Chrysalis gave both of them a reprimanding stare.

"Anyhow, we soon realized that-due in part to eating a locally grown fungus-our digestive droppings solidified in minutes, morphing into a material as hard as wood itself, and yet very flexible. We took advantage of this, growing the fungus on a massive scale, while collecting love to power our magic to enhance the quality. In the end, we managed to achieve a rather impressive empire. Not only were we able to create sleeping pods and specific chambers. We were also able to camouflage ourselves into the resin, which allowed any would-be adventurer to easily succumb to an ambush. And...it also helps that the smell keeps many predators at bay."

"I wonder why?" Raindrops muttered sarcastically, following the Queen down the hall. Derpy, on the other hoof was fascinated with the work, even managing to fumble with the zoom lens to get a better look. She soon regretted this, as she couldn't figure out how to zoom out until she pressed every single button on the camera.

"Derpy!" Raindrops flew back to drag the camerapony with her. "Quit holding up the show."

The grey pegasus shook herself back from her trance, crossing her hooves behind her back. "Sorry about that Raindrops. It just looked like something you'd want me to record."

Or something I'd want repressed. Raindrops thought irritably. She deeply wished the Queen had kept the origin of their walls a secret. Now, wherever she went within this complex, she would be reminded that she was constantly stepping over changeling scat that had been molded hundreds of years ago. I just hope the audience appreciates what we have to endure for the ratings.

Once they had regrouped, they noticed that the tunnel now turned into several openings. Turning to the second one on the right, the Queen gestured for them to follow. "We are not that far now from the refreshments. Just past this tunnel."

Raindrops had to admit, that despite the disturbing explanation given earlier, the resin did make a great canvas for changeling art. Here and there, intricate patterns expanded in various directions, creating the illusion that the wall was constantly moving. Accompanying the walls, she saw the emeralds gleaming like light bulbs, which didn't seem to irritate the changeling's eyes at all.

"Aren't you guys blinded by this stuff?" Raindrops landed next to Larvas, who had taken to walking down the tunnel.

"No," Larvas answered, "changeling eyes are very good. They can adjust to any kind of illumination. From very dark, to super light."

"Impressive," Raindrops complimented, "you guys must really be proud of your retinas."

"We ought to be," Larvas beamed. "Changelings need eyes to do anything in this hive. We use them to build walls, farm fungi, watch over hatchlings, and steal pony identity!" He paused, looking over his shoulder to see Derpy hovering above his carapace, the recording light blinking like a firefly.

"I mean-"he chuckled nervously "-formerly stolen pony identity. But not anymore! Changelings good now! No stealing pony identity! Nope! No stealing here! Hehe." He slumped his head, embarrassed at practically feeding kindle into the already blazing inferno of mistrust ponies held towards changelings and vice versa.

"Hey Derpy," Raindrops indicated towards the ceiling, "go and take more footage of that pattern up there! I think it would be really good for the audience to see that!"

"Ooooo," Derpy beamed, "good idea Raindrops! I'll go and get to it right away!" With that, she flew off, crashing snout first into the ceiling. There was a thunderous, reverberating crack, and all eyes fell upon the pegasus. But, whether by good luck or the fact that the substance may have still been soft, the camera was intact and there was no cave in.

Once she had assessed the damage, Raindrops turned to lay a hoof over her gloomy companion. "What's sky Larvas?"

"Silly pony, it's what's up." Larvas gave another weak fit of laughter that died in a sigh. "I'm sorry. I just can't stand it when I make mess up and ruin documentary."

Raindrops tilted her head in confusion. "How did you ruin it?"

"I talked about old changeling past of stealing pony identity and love," Larvas grumbled, "now pony will think bad on changeling and changeling will just think bad on pony."

"Will they?" Raindrops playfully punched Larvas in the shoulder. "Larvas, you've shown yourself to be more then capable of gaining Equestria's trust. In fact, I think you're the only one who is keeping this show together. No offense to your siblings, but they haven't exactly been all that helpful in showing their good side."

Larvas let out a flirt of giggles. "That I can believe. But Larvas will try to be best guide on changeling hive, even if it means a few mess ups here and there."

Raindrops glanced back to watch Derpy playing with the zooms again, staring into the camera lens while she tried to readjust the strap. "Believe me...I think it will be more then a few mess ups."

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"I hope you enjoy," the Queen presented the trio to a large chamber, where a crude boulder sat with several rusted metal stools. However, laying on the boulder, was an assortment of freshly baked cupcakes, pies, and even muffins.

Derpy nearly drooled over the camera, hypnotized by the familiar sight and smell of her favored treat. Yet, she managed to keep the camera away from the waterfall that was forming in her mouth.

"We actually bothered to send a few of our 'cooks' to Canterlot in order to learn how to make this stuff," the Queen proudly explained. "Believe it or not, changelings have a hard time retaining the abilities they mimic."

Turning to Someone, she indicated towards the wall. "You are now entrusted to guard these three with your life 777. Do you understand?"

Someone gave a mock salute, his expression stern. "I will protect little ponies and changeling brother with life your Highness. No fail this time!"

"Good," the Queen smiled, before turning to scowl at her other subordinate. "And as for you Morpheus, I believe there is need for another set of hooves to go about on maintenance duty."

"Oh come on," Morpheus moaned, "not again! I said I was sorry didn't I?"

A green aura wrapped itself around the changeling's ear, dragging him as the Queen turned to wave goodbye. "I will see you soon in my Throne Chamber! And lunch will be served at the agricultural chamber. I've informed Someone of your itinerary-and if he forgets- I also shared it with several others you will meet on your tour. Enjoy your stay!"

With that, she departed down the chamber dragging her Commander as he began to yell out random pleas to let him go. Meanwhile, Raindrops turned to Derpy, motioning with her hoof to stop recording. Flicking the switch off, Derpy seemed to whimper, her eyes darting towards the muffins, but her hooves unwilling to drop the camera.

Raindrops had to admit it was a little hilarious to see her mailmare so focused on her job that she wouldn't even risk breaking the device by gobbling muffins. "Relax Derpy, I'll take the camera off your hooves."

The grey pegasus lit up like a christmas tree, carefully passing the camera like it was Celestia's Crown. However, once she was free of the device, Derpy darted for the muffins, eating vigorously as she did so. At this point, Raindrops felt her stomach rumble and indicated for Larvas and Someone to come and join her.

"I cannot do that," Someone stated flatly, "for I am on guard duty and cannot be seen messing around."

"Not even for a bite to eat?" Raindrops motioned to the steaming dishes that her two friends were now devouring with gusto. "I mean, this is too much for any of us to finish and there will be left overs."

"The drones will recycle it," Someone resumed his rigid posture. "But I must guard trio of film makers less I want to get into even bigger trouble then I am in now."

"But there's muffins!" Derpy swallowed another batch of the golden brown treats. "I thought you said you've never had muffins?"

"I have not," Someone admitted, "but that does not justify that I can now. I am in big trouble as it is and do not need little ponies getting me in anymore trouble. Poor Morpheus already got maintenance duty for my mess up."

"To Tartarus with him," Raindrops grumbled, causing Larvas to give her a reprimanding stare.

"You shouldn't talk about him like that," Larvas warned.

"Why not?" Raindrops held her hooves out. "When I was working in Amanezon, my boss was just like Morpheus. Rude, self-confident, and making up ridiculous policies."

"I know he isn't the best changeling to give first impressions," Larvas set his piece of pie down. "But Morphy is just a little skeptical is all. He has had bad experience with you ponies. He was always chased out of towns and one time he was imprisoned after invasion."

"Oh," Raindrops dropped her piece of carrot cake. She hadn't realized that the commander had served time in the dungeons, even if she felt he deserved a day or two. "I guess I owe him an apology then."

"Relax," Larvas smiled, "he was always jerk before he got imprisoned. Prankster and in charge of various defenses and such. But all I ask is you be prepared for my siblings to appear like that. They have stuck with Hive for this long because they don't like Equestria. Sure most of us split our day between both Equestria and Hive, but there are plenty of changelings who still mistrust ponies."

"Is that why we have a bodyguard?" Raindrops pointed towards Someone, who was still standing in his fixed position.

Larvas shook his head. "I highly doubt siblings will treat you that badly. The worse they would do would turn you in to Queen, or act like any other pony who doesn't like others getting...what's the phrase...all up in their business?"

Raindrops giggled at her friend's understanding of pony culture. "Yes, well I suppose I wouldn't much like it if a camera was watching me do my job 24/7."

The two happily continued to eat, and Raindrops decided she might as well try and impress these changelings if she wanted them to cooperate. Noticing that the spear was hoof-made, she turned to contemplate on his helmet. "Say, Someone, would you mind telling me what your helmet is made of? Looks kinda cool."

Someone's expression softened just a bit, enough for a smile to pop out. "Ahhh, you notice Someone's best achievement: his armor plating."

"Yeah," Raindrops winked at Larvas, "I was wondering because I've never seen armor of that particular make? Where'd you forge it?"

"Well," Someone began, touching the disheveled helmet cautiously. "Commander Morpheus wants all changelings in Guard to have some kind of armor. We already have natural chitin armor and exoskeleton. But Someone decided that was not enough."

"Really," Raindrops had already begun to record, seeing this as another chance to gain some insight for her audience. "Well please continue with your story."

"Okay," Someone nodded, taking off his helmet to examine it. "I said to myself, 'What is easy armor to come by?'. As you may not already know, changeling armor is low because of cuts in budget. So Someone had to improvise as you ponies say. I went down to Hive Chamber G, and saw that maintenance crew were taking down old resin that had peeled off walls. Well, I took resin to make helmet!"

How the buck did I not see that coming? Raindrops scolded herself, her smile breaking for only a second. "So you used 100 year old resin?"

"Not just old changeling resin," Someone explained jubilantly, "but I used own resin too! Makes great adhesive to fuse helmet. And just as tough as chitin. I am envy of all changelings in Guard!"

"I'm sure you are," Raindrops muttered under her breath, "because clearly when soldiers use scat for armor, that's when you know the economy has gone way downhill."

"What was that?" Someone asked, his ears perking up.

Raindrops just continued to smile. "Oh I just thought your armor would make a great addition to our own Equestrian Guard."

"REALLY?" Someone squealed like a fan filly. "Someone's design you think good enough for your kingdom? I like idea. I like it a lot. Maybe when little ponies are done here, I go with you back to Equestria. Suggest idea no?"

"That sounds wonderful," Raindrops beamed, secretly beating herself for convincing a changeling to present his concept of recycled armor to Canterlot's influentials. What have I done? Only an absolute idiot would even condone that type of fasion to even be worthy of a defense force.

"That armor is amazing!" Derpy exclaimed, "where'd you get it?"

Author's Note:

Ok so I want to let you know, that yes...it is disturbing...but no...it isn't unnatural. I've figured that living in such a society as the Badlands, changelings need to make the best with what they got right? For changelings, this is one of the more alien parts of their culture that I felt ought to be given a separate scene of its own. To them it is only normal to recycle anything they use, since their environment provides so little for them in the first place.

Well do you think Someone's design could succeed in Canterlot's fashion market?

Do you think Someone deserves a nickname?

Do you think Someone needs more lines? (Hint hint everypony in this building thought we ought to give him less lines.)

We thank you for your patience and hope you still enjoy this. Once again, if any viewers feel the need to upchuck their complimentary hay fries during the show, please do so in any of our trash receptacles located throughout the auditorium. And if any viewer feels the need to complain or has, for some reason, been absolutely insulted by this projection then we can only assume you are a fan of their armor and ask you to quietly go and talk with Someone about affordable deals. If you have any other disagreements, please refer to our warning stated in the first chapter (which should be viewed before moving on to our next chapter)

Once again, I'm sorry for any errors in this project and appreciate those who have decided to give this show a go. You ponies/changelings make us here at RDM very proud to be making documentaries to enlighten you on various cultures around Equestria. Please stay tuned for updates.

Comments

[Iamsorry]

Ewwwww! XD
i'm laughing so hard right now! XD
i was right to follow this story! lol the walls are made out of crap lol the whole camouflage in the walls thing, did yo take that from Aliens? XD
i can only picture this going more downhill from here.
next room changeling mating chamber
and then the documentary suddenly becomes a weird as hell porno XD
anyway! hope to read more to this and yes Someone should have a nickname! lol

[ScopeEva]

You know, I think a con man/pony with a bad sense of humour might accept Someone's idea. A particulate pare of unicorns come to mind.

[Perteks]

Yay commander xD I didn't remember that you writed this. Nice to see him again