I run a youtube channel and like to read MLP fanfics. I'm hoping on writing some and posting them to my youtube channel or interviewing some of the writers on the site for new videos
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Rarity has had flirts in the past, but one thing she has never considered a romantic option is a mare - particularly a pink mare, who just so happens to be snuggling up to her under the blankets when she awakes from a hazily remembered night.
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This is beautifully written. I wholeheartedly recommend people give this pink sapphire a read. Can't wait for the next chapter.
2792846
Thanks!
Love this story. Love this pairing.
2792866
It is a really cute pairing. Such a pity it's so rare. Pinkie deserves some love in shipping too.
it's so cute!
2792994
Glad you liked it :) Got a lot of great stuff planned for the next chapter.
You have gained my attention.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-MK3qv1So_z4/UZozTfiDc8I/AAAAAAAAAJs/SEjESuZniIU/s1600/jigNrmn.gif
2793009
And now I shall use it to my full advantage!
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA!!!!!
You're right, this never did happen, it's just a fabrication of the minds of those who need to satisfy their sexual urges with gay sex.
2793079
O.o Wut?
2793013please be gentle
2793100
Hmmm.....
Okay!
This is a fun start! And it is a fun pairing, I can't wait to read the next chapter. I do wish it was a bit longer, since it stops right when it gets rolling.
I do understand Rarity's reaction. The debris of the room is almost sinister. It's like making out with the Joker.
Ks. You have this in the wanted feed back section of Struggling Authors so I'm going to give you my honest opinion.
1) You need more spacing in your paragraphs. You have quite a few paragraphs that are indented, but have no spacing between them.
2) Crease on her bed, her red crease? Can you please use vernacular that is a bit more clear?
3) Other than those two down points. It was a funny chapter, and I'm interested enough to wait to see what happens next. I'll admit that I've never seen a Rarity X Pinkie Pie shipping fic before so that alone makes this somewhat interesting.
and
4) This was well written. Nice descriptions. Pleasant dialog. And most importantly it was cute.
2793151
Thanks for the feedback. The whole spacing thing is just me being used to writing outside of the fimfiction format. I will try to add spacing between paragraphs in later stories in chapters.
2793150derpicdn.net/media/W1siZiIsIjIwMTIvMDcvMjgvMDNfMjNfMjNfOTMxXzU5Mjk4X18iXV0/59298__safe_pinkie-pie_batman_the-joker_artist-ohthatandy.png
2793177
Yeah I stand by my statement.
Tracking this.
This is a nice start to a fic of this nature, and I really enjoy the mental image of the Pony Hurricane. I also love this pairing, and I think you did an excellent job setting the scene for a drunken fling between the two of them.
I found your use of the word 'crease' mildly off-putting(personal tastes, i guess) and I would like more context on why Rarity wants to be so secretive about this - does she pull this on all her lays, or is it be wuss Pinkie's a friend, or is it because Pinkie's a mare? Although I hope that will be touched upon in the coming chapters. But definitely worth tracking, and nice job.
2793769
Thanks, the whole "This Never Happened" thing springs out of Rarity's obsession with image. Put, as you suggested, it will come in the later chapters.
Thanks for the feedback
“It’s not a list.” I was like, "wait, what?
Did she just go there? 
SHE DID! 
"
Then I kind of lost track of stuff, like is Pinkie suddenly mad? Because I'd think she'd need a bit of time to get there from calling Rarity silly. In her personality, she doesn't go from happy to another emotion quickly unless it is something BIG. This seems like it wouldn't be one of those times.
Anyway looking forward to more of this.
Pretty good but it needs some editing.
Instead of putting everything together in blocks like
“It’s not a list.”
Pinkie Pie seemingly pennant stared straight through Rarity’s eyes.
“....It’s a spreadsheet,” she admitted.
Pinkie Pie laughed hysterically, “Oh, Rares, you so silly.”
“Stop calling me ‘Rares’!”
spread it out like
“It’s not a list.”
Pinkie Pie seemingly pennant stared straight through Rarity’s eyes.
“....It’s a spreadsheet,” she admitted.
Pinkie Pie laughed hysterically, “Oh, Rares, you so silly.”
“Stop calling me ‘Rares’!”
And when you do a scene transition, instead of just double spacing that like
“Oh my sweet Celestia.”
Rarity made her way down the staircase of Carousel Boutique after she washed a majority of the mushed up makeup off of her face. Pinkie Pie was methodically putting things back in her saddlebag,
triple space it and just add some dashes between them
“Oh my sweet Celestia.”
----------------
Rarity made her way down the staircase of Carousel Boutique after she washed a majority of the mushed up makeup off of her face. Pinkie Pie was methodically putting things back in her saddlebag,
It just helps the eye when reading, otherwise things just kinda mesh together.
Also I'm annoyed this has more likes then my RariPie stories.
2796076
Yeah. A lot of people complained about the spacing. I did explain it in another comment, but I will try to work on it in later works.
Idk, popularity is a bitch.
2796185
You really should use something other than crease. I don't even know what it's referring to, her vagina? Her bedsheets?
2811924
It was a last minute edit. I apologize. In hindsight, it's not very good.
HERE I AM
ROCK YOU LIKE A HURRICANE
Amusing and well written. I desire moar!
Humorous and interesting; I'd love to read more. Was this project never continued?
2811924
Pretty sure it's the former.
3547299
It's still a bad word to use there. I've never heard a vagina being called a crease. At the most, a slit, but never a crease.
3547994
It's an odd allusion, I'll give you that, but I wouldn't go so far as to say "bad." It still...fits, as 'twere. Euphemisms come in all shapes and sizes.
On a pseudo-separate note, I seem to be making some mature and unintentional puns.
Moar
Strands of saliva almost never happen in real life. It is something that artists like to draw and something that people find attractive for some reason that escapes me.
In future works, I strongly advise against using the strand of saliva thing.
Other than that, not bad.
Keep it up! This is a great start!
I'm still waiting...
8806962
same.