• Member Since 26th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen May 29th, 2015

KamenRider


T

Kamen Riders are men and women who fight for their wishes to be granted. Sano Mitsuru was one of them. His poor luck and lifestyle lead to him becoming a Rider, in order to become happy for once in his life. His life is cut short after being killed by another Rider. Now that he's somehow escaped death and ended up in Equestria. With the help of other defeated Riders can they return safely to their homes? Probably not.

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 45 )

ok I would have never expected a fan fiction crossover of mlp and ryuki, but this sounds like a awesome idea I hope you continue with it. i wonder how the ponys will react

2788539 I do enjoy crossing things over with Ryuki. I finally decided to write one between these two series, as I highly enjoy them.

2788554 I hope you continue it, a lot of kamen rider/mlp fics tend to die out,
oh and is it just goin got be imperer or will tezuka, scissors and gai also be in this

also you might want to change the descpription you gave the story, (the description that appears on equestrian dailys home page) because most people don't even know who imperer is or even heard of kamen rider to begin with, the story description on the storys page is much better, because it tells abit about who he is, which I think would get more people to read it

2788634 Mitsuru is the main character, but I plan I trying to put all the Riders in since they all died.

Looking really good so far. Felt a little fast paced but it works perfectly as a prologue and, on that note, let me tell that you did a great job capturing Mitsuru's last moments. To me that's easily one of the saddest scenes in any Rider series. Hopefully he'll get some happiness back in Equestria. Can't wait to see what happens.

2788649 Mitsuru doesn't get enough love, and I really don't see why he wasn't one of the Riders to end up in the epilogue as he isn't really a villain in the end.

2788664 Yeah, that's really something that needs to be answered. Scissors and Gai weren't there either so maybe it's because they died in the Mirror World, though Raia still came back if I recall so that's unlkely. Anyway, I'm very interested to see how Mitsuru deals with feeding his herd of monsters before they turn on him.

2788637 well I wouldn't have it any other way actually,

2788705 yeah I wonder how all the riders will handle feeding their mirror monsters actually, mabey going to the ever free and cleaning up some predators

when you intropduced tiger you should have also told that his name was tojo, remember most people on this site don't know about kamen rider. also I feel some of the descriptions were kinda off, for example when tiger impaled imperer with his claws you didn't mention him lifting imperer up with the claws: so it makes it odd when you put that imperer was looking down at tiger

also I think it would be good to explain a bit more about how the mirror world and the powers work in the story, because unless the information is known before hand it would make the story confusing to average readers. so I think you should edit the chapter and describe a bit more of the events going on and how things work.

2789355 I'm sure he will later on when he meets the ponies. Honestly I think that bit of mystery works for a prologue. true, if I haven't seen Ryuki I'd be wondering why an axe was talking but it'd still be fun to see when he explains it.

Comment posted by Kamen Rider Hyrule deleted Jun 28th, 2013

2789626 Very first line of the story. It's Tiger's weapon announcing the name of the card he used.

2789643 well in the show the way the riders access their special attacks are things called "visors" that range from weapons to just a part of their armor, once they slip a card into the visor it will announce the effect of the card, for example the "advent card" summons the riders contract monster to aid in battle , while the "final vent" initiates their finishing moves. I just think that the story could use a bit more description, even if it does work somewhat there still has to be enough information to make it accessible to the ordinary reader who knows nothing of kamen rider.

I still think that overall this is a good start, I just don't want the story to be affected by lack of information. although I understand that it would be difficult to put in information when bringing a character from a whole other world into a different one, especially when that time is near the end of ryukis story. but nothetheless I cant wait to see how the author will take this story. (sorry if I sounds a bit rough, I just want this to be a good story)

2789682 As the prologue I purposely left some of that information. The oncoming Chapter 1 will have Mitsuru meeting first pony, saving said pony, and explaining a little more about what he had just done. I can always re-write the prologue with more information, if you wish.

2789781 i wasn't sure if it was youre intention, but i feel that it would be better to put more for the sake of anyone who doesn't know much about kamen rider. leaving information out is fine(the actuall kamen rider series usually leave out information in the first episode too), its just you still want to give some idea of whats going on to people who either don't know much or nothing at all. i don't mean to be pushy, but i just think it would make the story more accessable. either way i cant wait for the next chapter, do youre best :twilightsmile:

2789833 Okay thank, I'll keep that in mind. Nice to see people who actually get excited about my stories for once!:twilightsmile:

2789857 no problem! you have a interesting idea here and I just want to see the story be good/great , but its kinda hasty to judge it by just the prologue. also kamen rider stories are really rare, its almost just as rare that people use the actual characters from the series instead of self-inserts/OCs, or pony riders.

2789890 I personally hate using self-inserts. I have a couple of on going OC ones, though. I prefer crossovers to be actual crossovers with the series itself.

2790052 I'm with you there. Self-inserts can be okay if they're written well enough, I have a friend writing one that's pretty good, but having the actual characters meeting and interacting is the best kind of crossover in my opinion.

Also, if you don't mind me throwing in my two cents, if you do decide to re-write the begining consider going into detail about Imperer's relationship with Tiger, putting what he said into context. The first part reads almost like a transcript of the episode so that might add a little emotion to the moments leading up to his death.

2790052 i agree, a lot of kamen rider crossovers i see have self inserts instead of the characters

also when writing a story, writing about their body language is also a good thing, like describing what they are doing while they are talking

probably tezuka who appears next, cant wait for it :rainbowdetermined2:

2798183 I'll try to have it done by Monday or Tuesday.

I knew that tezuka would appear next, considering he is one of the only pure good riders besides shinji, also i think taking advice from this would be good for the story http://www.fimfiction.net/group/916/school-for-new-writers/thread/24870/protip-enriching-dialogue-scenes

2803183 I'll be sure to take that advice for the next chapter!

i think its kinda confusing when you say gai wanted to finish his games, because what he considers "games" is very different than what people are thinking he means by it.also i assume abyss has traveled all over to gather information, because you might also want to add that. i also think that it would have beed good to state more about the backround of the characters because, it would help people to know them better. and i don't think tezuka or mitsuru would be so keen on letting the monsters rampage, considering when they come they attack and feed on living creatures, tetzuka is a pure good guy, and i sure mitsuru wouldn't go that far. oh and is it true that every rider from ryuki will make a appearance.

2808991 Allow me to rewrite those parts, now that you bring it up I am a bit confused at what the hell I wrote.

2809029 thank you :twilightsmile:, try not to get out the chapters so fast unless your'e sure what you wrote would make sense to some one who doenst know about ryuki, also I think you should put some more character interaction. and one more thing sometimes the scenes can go by really fast.

2809052 I guess I should slow down and write one chapter at a time. I've been trying to write a chapter a day because I've wrote and abandoned other fics in the past, and I feel if I don't get one out everyday, I'll end up stopping.:twilightsheepish: I'll be sure to do that in the next chapter where I'll have them individually speak to each, and I'll try not to rush it out.

2809067 good !:yay: I like that you want to keep it up but if you don't work at a pace youre confortable with and rush your writing will suffer. just make sure the readers understand the characters personalities, morals, and motives.

2809117 Well, expect those changes in a bit, I'm almost done editing those few things.

2809117 Well I edited it and ended up adding about 1000 words.

Comment posted by Kamen Rider Hyrule deleted Jul 2nd, 2013

2809241 ok I think this is much better, it explains things in greater detail and indicates more of the characters personalities, this will sure be interesting.

also I think it would help to rewatch some of the epsiodes these characters appeared in, so to further get a better understanding as how to write them.

Dang dude, another cancelled fic I wanted to read

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