• Member Since 19th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen July 3rd

Pentrath


E

What happens when Dave receives a Discord plushy and it's not what he expected? Chaos of course.
This is the story of Dave as he find out that the doll he receives isn't what it seems.

I would like to give thanks to Ruby Flame for editing my chapters.

Chapters (10)
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Comments ( 40 )

Great idea, just run it through Micrsoft Word and fix all the spelling and Grammar mistakes. Other than that I really loved it.:raritystarry:

Okay, so this seems like it could be a great story... If the grammar wasn't so bad. I mean, what's up with these- { } around every sentence someone talks? And ruff, would be rough, as when you said: School is ruff. You're missing some apostrophes and commas in some areas, while in some places you completely forgot a period, making long run-on sentences. Also, some sentences aren't even capitalized.

But, with all the errors, I would love to see more Discord, as Discord is my favorite villain- wait no- ABSOLUTE BEST, MOST AWESOME, MOST HILARIOUS, MOST CHAOTIC villain in the show. So, yes, continue. I think this could make it a long ways.

Don't take what I said as trying to call you dumb- it was just some ways to fix your mistakes.

2788266
Thanks and I will try that. I actually wrote this in Microsoft word but when I originally tried to summit it, it had some errors I had to correct and after attempting to correct them and fight my computer, it slipped my mind to go back and check.

In love with this story. Trapped in Discord's body= priceless. :rainbowlaugh::rainbowwild::yay::trollestia::moustache::derpytongue2::heart::pinkiehappy:

I love the concept of this story I can't wait for you to add more chapters this is a good first story attempt keep up the good work:pinkiehappy:

Still liking, my good man. Keep it up! This is getting exciting! :pinkiehappy:

2986311 No problem, I'm still ready to edit more! :raritywink:

I, actually, think this is pretty alright to be honest :pinkiehappy:
I really thought it was gonna be a "My Little Discord" kinda thing:rainbowwild:

Wow, that was awesome. Ha, he doesn't know what to call Celestia. Ma'am.... Lol

3222765
To be honest there is a brony on deviant art that made a comic of My little Dashie. He made some comics that had discord interfere with the human world. Those comics is what inspired me to make this story.

I will like and fave, but you really should try and do something about how often you put out chapters.

3295353
Sorry, I try to put them out as often as I can, but there are a lot of thing going on right now that prevents me from doing a daily or weekly schedule. Also I have a editor that has her own set of problems and I don't want to over whelm her with chapters.

3295403 Fair enough.
...
My OCD wants me to inform you that 'overwhelm' is a single word.

This is getting really good! :raritystarry: I'll be sure to edit tonight! :pinkiehappy:

:heart: :heart: :heart:

Kingdom Hearts Birth By Sleep's Ventus theme fits perfectly with the end :pinkiesmile:

Wow. Kingdom Hearts music fits well with this fan fiction acctually!
Well what do ya know! :pinkiehappy:

'the tree from Dave's tree'

You might want to fix that.

3599043
Don't know if there will be a sequel but I might come up with a prequel but it wont feature Dave, it will feature other characters.

3601035 I was hoping to see Sombra's reaction to Concord. And maybe Chrysalis's too.

3601613
The thing is that when I first started to write this story, its was only meant to serve two purposes.
1: It was my way of proving to myself that I would be dedicated enough to finish it.
2: It was meant to be a learning curve so that my future stories could become progressively better over time.
The possibility of a sequel isn't out of the question as there is a lot I could do with Concords character, but for now I want to try out other stories that aren't related to Return of Chaos. One of the stories I had in mind was a crossover with Gravity Falls, but I'll talk more about that on a later date.

‘’Sure Discord did some awful things to us in the past, but I believe Celestia when she says he is not Discord’’. And with that Fluttershy rushes over to Dave to ask him not to live.

... I'm fairly sure that asking him to die is the exact opposite of what she's trying to say.

7802729
you could say that your hope will never die

9131268
aaaaannnd you dont get the refrence

the song

you know


BUT MY HOPE WILL NEVER DIE!!!!

just look it up on youtube

Well that was anticlimactic I want see what screw ball would do

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