• Published 16th Feb 2012
  • 9,342 Views, 62 Comments

Finding Your Rhythm - Donnys Boy

Pinkie teaches Twilight how to dance ... and a whole lot more.

  • ...

Finding Your Rhythm

“Finding Your Rhythm”

by Donny’s Boy


Synopsis: At this year’s Grand Galloping Gala, Twilight Sparkle finds out just what a terrible dancer she truly is. Fortunately, there to comfort her is the one pony who is possibly an even worse dancer than Twilight.


“Got no feel, I got no rhythm,
I just keep losing my beat …
Can anybody find me
Somebody to love?”
--Queen, “Somebody to Love”

Twilight Sparkle sat alone at a table, dejectedly sipping punch and pondering over her many failures as a pony, as a student, as a friend, and as a dancer. Especially her failures as a dancer.

All around her, the Grand Galloping Gala merrily continued on, with ponies mingling and laughing, eating and dancing. Twilight lifted her cup to her lips using her magic and downed half the remaining punch in one long swallow. As she ran her eyes over the crowds that milled around the huge, stately, and lavishly decorated palace ballroom, she caught sight of each of her friends.

There was Applejack standing with Fluttershy over by the desserts table, chatting and nibbling on various apple pastries. There was Rainbow Dash out on the dance floor, swooping over the heads of all the unicorns and earth ponies, twirling through the air in perfect time to the music, as athletic and graceful as ever. And over near the stage, where the Canterlot court musicians played something tasteful and refined, Rarity held a small gathering of ponies in her thrall, beaming at them with a wry smile and a quirked eyebrow.

In fact, the only one of her friends that she couldn’t see at the moment was--

“Hiya, Twilight!”

She gave a small jump, even though, really, she should have been used to this by now. Turning around, she saw Pinkie Pie there, standing entirely too close and bouncing with barely-suppressed energy.

“Hi, Pinkie.” Twilight tried to infuse her voice with an enthusiasm she didn’t feel.

“Isn’t this party so much better than last year’s Gala?” Pinkie sighed rapturously. “I’ve eaten four slices of cake and drank a gazillion glasses of punch, and I even got Fluttershy to dance with me for a little bit and, I mean, c’mon, Fluttershy! Right?”

Twilight nodded as politely as she could. “That’s great. I’m glad you’re having such a good time.”

“I am! It’s been the most super and terrific--” Abruptly the pink pony cut herself off. She stared at Twilight with a keen, piercing gaze, which the unicorn found more than a little intimidating. “You’re not having any fun. Are you?”

But it wasn’t really a question. Truth be told, it was much more of an accusation.

“How’d you know?” Twilight asked. She couldn’t entirely hide the note of surprise in her voice. “Was it your Pinkie sense?”

Pinkie shook her head. “Oh, no, no. This was party sense. Totally different kind of sense.”

“Oh,” said Twilight, frowning in confusion.

“But that’s a conversation for another time, Twi! Right now, the question is … why aren’t you having any fun?”

Twilight looked away. She stifled a sigh as she watched all of the bright, sparkling ponies out on the dance floor, moving in perfect harmony. “It’s … it’s nothing important.”

And it wasn’t, really. She was just being selfish and indulging a bad mood, acting like a mopey little filly. She was wallowing in self-pity when she should have been taking pleasure in how much fun all of her friends were having at the Gala. Sometimes, Sparkle, she thought glumly, you really are the worst friend ever.

So lost in all these thoughts was Twilight that she didn’t notice that Pinkie had stepped up beside her until she felt the brush of Pinkie’s mane against her neck. She gasped in surprise as the other pony gently nuzzled her.

“Of course it’s important,” said Pinkie, after taking a step back. “If you’re upset about something, how could it not be important? That’s just silly, Twilight.”

Twilight felt a sudden burst of warm affection for her friend. Sometimes she forgot, amidst all of Pinkie’s randomness and hyperactivity and utter inability to follow even the simplest of instructions, that Pinkie could sometimes say the exact right thing at the exact right time. Not all the time, maybe not even most of the time, but pretty often. Often enough, anyways.

As a slight smile crept across her face, the unicorn found herself confessing, “I was dancing earlier tonight. And, um, I guess I was kind of getting in the other dancers’ way a little bit …”

Pinkie tilted her head, indicating she was listening.

“So, uh, anyway. Some of the ponies said I should probably leave the dance floor. Because I wasn’t dancing very well … and, apparently, I was a hazard to other ponies as well as to myself.” She shrugged, feeling ridiculous at having gotten so upset over what was, after all, nothing very serious. “But as I said, it’s not that big a deal.”

For a moment, just a brief moment, a dark anger flashed in Pinkie’s eyes. The very intensity of it nearly took Twilight’s breath away. But then the anger was suddenly gone again, and a broad grin broke over Pinkie’s face, as bright and blinding as a sunrise.

“Aww, don’t you listen to those negative Nellies,” the pink pony urged, with a giggle that ended in an amused snort. “I think you dance just great!”

“Oh, really?” Twilight raised one eloquent, skeptical eyebrow.

“Absolutely!” And then suddenly Pinkie was right behind her, nudging Twilight’s rump with the top of her head as she steered the unicorn towards the dance floor. “C’mon,Twi! Let’s go get our groove on!”

Twilight briefly considered resisting, but she knew doing so would ultimately prove pointless. It was easier to just give in. Pinkie Pie always won in the end, anyways. Besides, sometimes it could even be fun to surrender to whatever Pinkie’s madness of the day was--though that was something Twilight dared never confess. Best not to encourage Pinkie, after all, as Pinkie never needed encouragement anyways. Best to just keep mum.

So she chose to simply trot along obediently as Pinkie led them out onto the parquet flooring. Feeling even more awkward than she usually did, Twilight mostly just shuffled in place as Pinkie Pie began leaping around like a rabid squirrel who’d just gone on a three day sugar binge. All of the finely attired ponies in the general vicinity glared at the pink menace, but the earth pony danced on blissfully unaware.

Wincing, Twilight immediately felt tempted to slink back off the dance floor.

But Pinkie was looking directly at her and smiling ever so encouragingly, and it seemed rather rude to just disappear when Pinkie was trying this hard to cheer her up. So Twilight stayed, and Twilight danced, despite the fact that she could feel dozens of pairs of angry eyes boring into them.

She tried to ignore all those glares, however, and focused on Pinkie instead. She was wearing yet another Rarity original--as were the rest of them, in varying styles and hues--and this year’s dress was another frilly, ruffled monstrosity of fabric. But unlike last year’s very pink creation, the current dress had been crafted using a lovely azure satin that made Pinkie’s eyes look somehow even bluer than they usually appeared. Twilight had been surprised that the dress wasn’t pink, at the time of the big Gala dress unveiling, but Rarity had just smiled one of her secret little smiles and said that a completely new Gala called for a completely new dress.

But even Rarity’s stunning design sense and seamstress skills couldn’t take Twilight’s mind off the uncomfortable, disdainful atmosphere that now permeated the dance floor. She’d tried, but she just couldn’t take it anymore. “Uh, Pinkie,” she said, leaning forward to whisper in her friend’s ear. “Don’t you think we should, er, go do something else?”

“How come?” Pinkie tilted her head, eyes full of genuine curiosity. “Aren’t you having a good time dancing?”

“It’s not that I’m … well, actually, I’m kinda not really having … but that’s beside the point! Pinkie, can’t you see that we’re annoying all these other ponies?”

Pinkie took a step back, as if taken by surprise at the very thought of such a possibility, and glanced around. “Huh. Well, I guess they do look a teensy tiny bit annoyed,” Pinkie admitted, with a thoughtful expression on her face. Then she shrugged. “So?”

Try as hard as it might, Twilight’s brain could not process what Pinkie Pie had just said. Does not compute, said her brain. Non-concern with social propriety is illogical. 404 error. Try reloading later.

“You okay, Twilight?”

The unicorn stared at her friend and blinked slowly.

“Um, ‘cause you kinda don’t look okay. You kinda look like you did that time when you burst into flames, actually, and you were--ooh, is that gonna happen again? Are you gonna burst into flames?”

Twilight could feel her mouth open and close, but no words seemed to come out. It was very strange. She wasn’t sure what to do about that.

“If you’re gonna burst into flames, Twilight, you probably shouldn’t do it out on the dance floor. There’s too many ponies around, and they might catch on fire.” And with that, Pinkie grabbed one of Twilight’s forehooves between her own and began dragging the stunned unicorn away.

Before long, Twilight found herself outside the palace in the royal gardens, enveloped by dark green foliage and a pleasantly chilly night air. She glanced around and took it all in as best as she was able. They stood next to a small stone fountain that was softly babbling away and, although the immediate vicinity held nothing but neatly-trimmed grass and tidy stone walkways, not too far away towered tall and regal trees.

After a few long moments, during which she managed to return her breathing to something resembling normal, Twilight turned to face her companion. Pinkie Pie was waiting with surprising patience and wearing yet another one of her ever-ready smiles.

In a tone that was rather harsher than she intended, Twilight barked out, “How can you just not care what other ponies think about you?”

Pinkie shrugged. “I dunno! I guess I just like dancing too much to worry about all that stuff.” She reached out with a forehoof and lightly poked Twilight in the chest. “How come you do care?”

Utterly flabbergasted by the sudden turning of tables, Twilight stammered for a bit. “Well, because … because I … because …”

The truth was, she didn’t know. She didn’t know, and she was shocked to discover that she didn’t know. She knit her brows and tried to remember just why she’d been so upset, why she’d cared so deeply about all of those glares. But out here in the gardens, surrounded by the quiet trilling of countless birds and the gently whispering breeze, all of that seemed strangely distant and unreal. Almost as though they were memories from years ago, not minutes ago.

“I still don’t understand,” the unicorn finally muttered. She frowned. “I mean, you cared when you thought I was accusing you of being irresponsible. Back when you were foal-sitting for the Cakes, remember? So why did you care about what I thought but not about what those ponies in the ballroom think?”

“Oh, that’s an easy one!” explained Pinkie with an eye roll and a grin. “That’s because those ponies aren’t important, but you are.”

And there it was again. That explosion of warmth in her chest, that flush in her face, all from Pinkie’s uncanny ability to find the perfect thing to say to her. It filled her up, from hooves to horn, with a giddy sort of happiness. She felt so happy, and it felt incredibly good to feel this happy after how awful she’d felt earlier--and it was all too much. It was too much emotion, and she didn’t know what to do with it all.

Twilight looked away and trained her eyes on a pair of bushes that sat nestled underneath the trees some distance away. Idly she speculated as to the species of large, white flowers that bloomed among the bushes’ leaves, just to give herself something solid and tangible to think about.

She could hear Pinkie’s breathing, soft and steady, coming from nearby. She could also hear the music from the palace’s grand ballroom as it trickled out to the gardens, muted but still audible. The musicians had switched from an upbeat selection to something slower, something mellower, but still cheerful.

“You wanna dance again?”

Twilight glanced up abruptly. Pinkie Pie had her head cocked to the side again, eyes wide and expectant, and the earth pony had never looked more like a giant pink bird than she did in this exact moment.

“Dance?” Twilight repeated, feeling befuddled and sounding stupid even to her own ears.

“Uh-huh!” Pinkie nodded. “I mean, out here, all those meanie ponies can’t glare at us, and we won’t get in their way, right?”

Twilight blinked. “B-but … but …”

With a casual shrug, Pinkie replied, “If you don’t wanna dance anymore, that’s okay, too! We can always go back inside and--”

“No.” It couldn’t hurt to dance a bit more, after all. It was too nice of a night outside to go back in, just yet, anyways. At least, that was what Twilight told herself. “No, I want to … c’mon, Pinkie, let’s dance.”

Pinkie’s smile never wavered. For some reason Twilight found that unnerving--that Pinkie wasn’t unnerved. Of course, Pinkie never seemed to get unnerved, no matter the situation. Twilight found that unnerving, too.

Nervously she swallowed.

The pink mare took the unicorn’s front hooves in her own, and with her heart hammering in her chest, Twilight took a step towards her friend. Pinkie’s cheek brushed lightly against her own, as the pink mare began leading them in slow, lazy circles around the grassy clearing in which they stood. Twilight tripped over her own feet quite a few times and, after each time, she grew a bit more flustered and stumbled that much harder

After the fourth or fifth stumble, Pinkie leaned in close and whispered, “You gotta relax, silly filly. We’re only dancing, and dancing’s supposed to be fun!”

But Twilight couldn’t relax. Twilight couldn’t relax, because Twilight couldn’t stop thinking about the way all those ponies in the ballroom had been staring at her, couldn’t stop feeling the heat and disgust that had burned in their eyes. Nor could she stop that old, familiar sick feeling from beginning to churn in her stomach. It was the same feeling she’d gotten the day she’d enchanted a raggedy old doll and disappointed Princess Celestia so terribly. The same feeling she’d gotten too many times, for too many reasons.

She hated that feeling. She hated it more than almost anything.

“Just close your eyes, Twilight. Close your eyes and listen to the music, okay?”

“Okay,” whispered Twilight, feeling suddenly and strangely fragile. But she closed her eyes, as Pinkie told her, and tried to focus on the music. The piece being played by the musicians inside sounded vaguely familiar, but Twilight didn’t know its name. Her studies had always focused on more practical matters--magic, astronomy, alchemy--and she’d never spent much time studying the arts except for the bare minimum her early schooling had required.

“It’s pretty.” Twilight’s voice was quiet, low, almost dreamy. She decided that she liked the glimmering little melody that the violinist was playing, in particular. “The music, I mean. The music’s pretty.”

“Mmm-hmm,” murmured Pinkie in reply. Twilight could feel the other pony nod. “It’s kinda like drinking sarsaparilla. You know, when all those little bubbles tickle the back of your throat?”

Twilight smiled but kept her eyes closed. “Yeah. Kinda like that.”

She didn’t even notice that she’d stopped tripping over her own hooves.

The two of them still weren’t dancing well, of course, but … it felt nice. It felt better than nice, really, to have somepony hold her so close and so carefully, to feel warm, soft fur against her face. To smell that vague scent of strawberries that always lingered in Pinkie’s mane. If Twilight had been thinking more clearly right then, it might have worried her that she even knew what Pinkie’s mane smelled of--but she wasn’t, and it didn’t.

Twilight just felt nice and relaxed and bubbly. Kind of like sarsaparilla, actually.

At last the song came to an end, and Pinkie Pie pulled away. The moonlight from above reflected in the earth pony’s eyes, causing them to sparkle even more brightly than they usually did.

“See?” said the earth pony, grinning triumphantly. “I told you that you’re a great--”

It was then that Twilight kissed her.

Kissing Pinkie was a startlingly easy thing to do. Twilight just leaned forward and pressed her lips to the other mare’s, and just like that, they were kissing. At first, there was only pure, raw sensation--the unexpected softness of Pinkie’s lips, the almost sickly sweet taste of the Gala’s punch, the sound of Pinkie gasping in surprise. Then Twilight’s brain finally caught up to the rest of her and began screaming, What in Equestria do you think you’re doing? Abort! Abort, abort, abort!

Immediately Twilight stumbled backwards, breaking the kiss. She stared at her friend with a rapidly growing sense of horror and disbelief as her stomach returned to its previous churning. Meanwhile, for once in her entire life, Pinkie Pie was absolutely speechless. Her mouth opened and closed rapidly, like the mouth of a fish out of water, but she didn’t say a word.

“I’m sorry!” Twilight managed to gasp out. “Oh, Pinkie, I’m so sorry!”

Pinkie blinked her huge blue eyes, as though coming out of a trance. She slowly licked her lips while wearing an indecipherable expression on her face.

Run! shouted Twilight’s brain, all klaxons blaring. Run, you fool! Save yourself!

And so she did.

Turning smartly on her heels, she dashed back into the palace, past the guards, past the ballroom, past all the dancers, past the inquiring eyes of all her friends, past everything and everyone. Out of the corner of her eye, Twilight could see Applejack take a few steps towards her before being stopped by Fluttershy, but Twilight kept on running. She didn’t stop until she’d reached the relative safety of the palace’s library, a room composed of dark rich woods and towering shelves filled with heavy, dusty books.

It had always been her favorite room in the palace. Just the smell of all those wonderful old books helped to calm her, if only a little.

Twilight Sparkle hid between the biographies section and the section on medieval histories, hunkering down between the large shelves and struggling to catch her breath. She curled up on herself, much as she would have done as a young foal, and tucked her chin tightly against her chest. She wished Spike was here or, at the least, her old friend Smartypants. It was a foolish thing to wish, of course, a very foolish and childish thing to wish--but she wished for both of them nonetheless.

“Hi, Twilight!”

Twilight flinched but had to admit she wasn’t too terribly surprised to hear the sudden intrusion of that particular high-pitched, buoyant voice. Sighing, the unicorn kept her eyes firmly fixed on the library’s floor. “Oh, um, hi there, Pinkie Pie. How … how did you find me?”

“Uh, duh? You’re in a library. Where else would you go?”

“Right.” Twilight simply nodded. “Right. Well, that makes sense, I guess.”

There was a brief pause before Pinkie asked, in a very matter-of-fact tone, “Can I kiss you?”

At that, Twilight’s head jerked up. “W-what?” she spluttered, staring into Pinkie’s open blue eyes. Her friend sat just a few inches away.

“Can I kiss you?” the pink pony helpfully repeated. “I was kinda surprised the first time, so I didn’t really get a chance to kiss you back.”

Slowly but surely, realization dawned on Twilight Sparkle. It was quickly followed by incredulity. “You mean … you mean, you want to kiss me.”

Pinkie nodded, smiling brightly. Twilight could only stare. In many ways this entire night had been utterly surreal, but this moment just might take the cake. The unicorn sat there and tried to formulate a good response, a nice, calm response, a smart response. The first kiss had been an accident, after all, an accident and a mistake, and she needed to find a tactful way of saying so.

“Yes,” is what she finally said, however, in a soft and wondering whisper. “Yes, you can kiss me.”

Still smiling, Pinkie leaned forward and brushed her lips against the unicorn’s. Twilight allowed her eyes to shut, trying to ignore the almost painful thudding of her heart in her chest, and leaned into the kiss. It was far more tender than she’d have ever thought a Pinkie Pie kiss would be, had she ever taken the time before tonight to think of what it might be like to kiss the party planner. To be honest, she wasn’t at all sure what to do. She mostly just inhaled Pinkie’s sweet-tasting breath and savored the feel of Pinkie’s soft mouth, until the thought floated through her bewildered mind that she should probably be taking more active participation in things.

She tried to remember what she’d read in that one book she’d smuggled out of the Canterlot library all those years ago, On the Art and Science of Kissing, but it was hard to think. Hard to breathe. Pinkie’s kiss had deepened, becoming just a bit harder, just a bit more insistent, and Twilight panicked. She snorted and began choking on air--on her lack of air?--and she quickly pulled away and fell into a loud coughing fit.

“Sorry,” she mumbled once all the coughing and hacking had subsided. Her cheeks blazed with mortification. “Sorry.”

“It’s no biggie,” replied Pinkie, her voice soft, low, a tad teasing. “Just means ya gotta try, try again.”

Twilight felt a tiny but unmistakable smile tugging at the corners of her mouth. “Practice makes perfect, eh?”

“Exactamundo, Twilight!”

The pink earth pony sat there, completely unruffled, utterly at ease. And, apparently, all too willing to attempt another kiss with Twilight Sparkle despite Twilight’s repeated attempts to ruin just about everything ever.

“Pinkie, you’re absolutely amazing,” the unicorn blurted out, catching herself off guard even as she said the words. But they were true, these words, absolutely and deliriously true, and Twilight didn’t take them back. Wouldn’t take them back.

What Twilight said seemed to catch Pinkie Pie off guard, as well. The earth pony lapsed into a brief silence, blinking rapidly, before her grin returned, twice as large as it originally had been. “Oh, Twilight. You’re a super-duper awesome pony, too!”

And then, before Twilight could even realize what was happening, Pinkie swooped back in, and they shared their third kiss of the evening. This time, though, Twilight didn’t snort or choke or anything.

Later, much later, Pinkie would tell everypony that this was the night that she’d gotten the absolute best, most unexpected surprise that she’d ever gotten in her life--which was no small thing to claim, given that she was a pony whose life involved a great many surprises. But when asked for her version of events, Twilight Sparkle would simply smile in her quiet, thoughtful sort of way and explain that this was the night she learned how to dance.

Author’s Notes: This now marks TWO full-length TwiPie stories I’ve written compared to ONE full-length RainbowPie story I’ve written. Granted, both TwiPie stories are one-shots, and the RainbowPie story is a multi-chapter fic, but STILL.

This is clearly an unacceptable state of affairs. Must go write more RainbowPie tout de suite.

Comments ( 61 )

Ship all the ponies! :D

Haha, no, but seriously, I really enjoyed this. It was everything that one-shot shipping fics should be: short, simple enough and really, really sweet. It was a really lighthearted read - just the kind if thing I needed to start my day, so thank you!

Keep up the great work, Donny's Boy! (And more PinkieDash? I approve! Haha)

Face it, Donny's Boy, you're a TwiPie fan.

Don't worry, it's not so bad on this side of the fence. We have cupcakes. :pinkiesmile:

You certainly know how to write really sweet stories. :raritywink:

Cupcakes prepared exactly according to the recipe, of course.

I really can't tell you how much I like the character dynamic at play here. So blasted cute! Pretty much every exchange had me smiling.
The whole bit in the library had me unashamedly "Aww"-ing.

Great stuff, as usual.

Yessssss... More of the best ship, the S.S. Twinkie! And it was really cute and sweet and funny. *adds to the Twinkie group*

make a long twipie, it really hits the spot

you immediately get a like cuz you had queen lyrics
and the story was sweet
that is all

Oh my gosh, congrats on the feature!

Twipie?! :pinkiegasp: TWIPIE!?! :pinkiehappy::heart::twilightsmile: Such an underrated ship......This was a treat! I wish there was more.....That's it....you've inspired me! I'm writing my own Twipie story! And I won't read another fic until I have my first chapter done with! THIS I SWEAR!!!!! Also: DEM QUEEN LYRICS!!!!!! Always nice to hear my favorite band mentioned in anything!

Good, good. :moustache:

Soon all will forget about Skittles/RainbowPie. :pinkiegasp::rainbowhuh:


Thanks for the reviews and kind words, y'all! Glad this one is going over well, thus far.

ALL Pinkie Pie ships have cupcakes. 'Cause Pinkie Pie. :pinkiehappy: And 'tis true, I am a TwiPie fan ... but Rainbow Pie is still the One True Ship. :raritywink:

Glad I got the character dynamics okay. Also, thanks for the head's up on being featured! Much obliged! I hadn't noticed that 'til I saw your comment about it.

Funny that the only other story of mine that got featured was my other TwiPie fic ...

Do it! Write TwiPie! There needs to be more. And Queen is, objectively speaking, awesome.

Nooooooo! RainbowPie FOREVER! :pinkiesmile::rainbowkiss:

This is by far one of the cutest fics I've ever read :pinkiesmile: . Twi's socially awkward clumsiness and Pinkie's unflinching enthusiasm are both perfectly in-character. I'm fairly certain that you've successfully sold me on this pairing :twilightsmile: . Thanks for the wonderful story and I can only hope that you write another with this pair sometime soon :raritystarry: .

*Immediately begins reading your other TwiPie story~

Very lovely story. Twilight is, as ever, adorkable. Excellent imagery too. I could just see that first kiss, Pinkie gasping in surprise. I also really liked the line that 'Kissing Pinkie was a startlingly easy thing to do.' That was an extremely well placed phrase, and...I don't know, it just felt, right, you know?

227531 "Pinkie! More nanowire sprinkles!" :twilightblush:

228287 Yes, but these are SCIENCE CUPCAKES!

Besides, there are no OTPs in My Little Pony except the divinity of GildaxCelestia! :pinkiecrazy:

"Her mouth opened and closed rapidly, like the mouth of a fish out of water..." - Hilarious image in my head

But, but, but where will I get my fix of TwiPie! It's such a rare ship, or at least as far as I've seen;:pinkiesad2:
I'll get withdraws, or whatever you get from a lack of such a fun ship;

I'd 5 star this, but that seems to be replaced with thumbs (which I find slightly ironic, 'lest Lyra is new site layout manager).
Oh well, thumbs up I guess!:twilightsheepish:

TwiPie! The neglected one true ship. Marvelous! Take all my stars.

Always glad to see you submit a new story!

Greetings and salutations, new people who've commented since my last reply! I'm happy to see you and would like to thank y'all kindly for the reviews and nice things you've said. :twilightsmile:

At this point, I think I may have more TwiPie leaning followers than I do RainbowPie followers, and I am mildly worried that everyone will be terribly disappointed once I resume my obsessive RainbowPie writing.

Is it just me, or does anytime Pinkie need advice, she always goes to ask Twilight? I don't find that shippy, per se, just kind of interesting. (This observation inspired by today's episode, which, OH MY GOSH.)

Science cupcakes are best cupcakes, clearly.

Also ... GildaxCelestia? My brain, it is broken. ARE there even any GxC stories?

232815 ARE there even any GxC stories?
None! :raritycry: Oh, the ponymity! Always I am denied! :raritydespair:

Damnit donny I keep picking up stories because they look interesting, then I find out you wrote em, you are a horrible person for producing so much content.

Cheers lads, I think we've found the best TwiPie shipping in history :twilightsmile::ajsmug:
Ok perhaps not, but it's damn well up there :pinkiehappy:
Really nice and sweet way of setting them up :raritywink:

Nothing I can say that everyone else hasn't said already- awesome story, and Pinkie didn't go manic depressive when Twilight ran away, which is unexpected- unexpected, but good. You are a very good author, and you should feel good. *like*
Alas, I always find something in (basically everyone's) stories and I can't just let it sit there;
>Twilight tripped over her own feet quite a few times and, after each time, she grew a bit more flustered and stumbled that much harder
You missed a period.
232815 No, the OTP is obviously PhilomenaxOwlicious. An eternal being, together with a mortal librarian(assistant)... reminiscent of another ship except more birds, less ponies.

Heh ... sorry? The Beloved Spouse is out of town at the moment, so I've been spending my evenings finishing up some stories that have languished in nearly-finished states.

Thank you! That's kind of you to say. I'm glad you enjoyed the story.

Glad you liked that Pinkie didn't go depressive. To be honest, if I was writing my one long Rainbow Pie story all over again today, I wouldn't have Pinkie go all straight mane in the penultimate chapter. I now regret that I did so, as I think canon Pinkie isn't as fragile as fanon Pinkie is, often.

Ugh, sorry about the missing period.

I am SO in for Philomena x Owlowlicious. They are both such trolls. Totally, they're the new OTP.

238919 ok, read, every bit as awesome as I expected. your characterization is amazing donny.

I think that it might just be safe to say that you are completely incapable of writing anything that isn't absolutely beautiful and amazing.
And even if it's not safe to say, I just did. I'm not usually a TwiPie fan - mostly because it never occured to me - but this is...wow. It makes perfect sense, the way you wrote it - and you did it well keeping them perfectly in character.

I've said before that I love the way you write Pinkie, but this? This is just perfect. And that extends to your Twilight, too.

I want to comment on how awesomely this flows and how much I love the way you do Twilight's thought process, but i'm still trying to stop laughing.
Seriously, I was all wrapped up in how sweet this was and then this:
Run! shouted Twilight’s brain, all klaxons blaring. Run, you fool! Save yourself!
came along and I had to stop reading for five minutes because I was laughing myself to tears.

I don't know how you do it, but this is - like all your stories - incredible. :pinkiehappy:

Aww, thanks!

NOT TRUE, but thanks for saying so. :twilightsmile:

I must ask, as you mention TwiPie having not occurred to you ... have you read Sir Gimp of Baath's "Casuality." It is, in my opinion, THE TwiPie story, and one of my favorite ship fics of any pairing. If that sounds like something up your alley, you can check it out at http://www.fanfiction.net/s/7474165/1/Causality.

I'm glad you like my Pinkie so much, as I do try to do right by my girl, but I'm especially glad to hear I did okay with Twilight. This was my first extended attempt at writing her. And I'm so happy to hear the funny parts were, in fact, funny! I think that's how I see TwiPie ... any seriousness or romance immediately gets undercut with humor and awkwardness. They're a fun couple.


You're welcome. Thanks for writing such amazing stories. :pinkiesmile:

I haven't read it but I shall do so - I read the others you recommended incidently and they're very good - as soon as I can. Thanks a lot for the recommendation. Before reading this I wouldn't have called it up my alley at all but this proved the pair can work and work well.

And I do love your Pinkie, so very very much. But yes - your Twilight is awesome, too - i'm surprised it's the first time you've written for her because it's easily one of the best characterizations i've read. Which really shouldn't surprise me anymore - you've yet to write one I don't love.

In fact I challenge you to write some Gummy. I think you're one of the few people who could navigate the intricate and weaving paths of his character, and his obvious genius. :pinkiehappy:

(I don't really expect you to write a Gummy story, if it needs to be said. But don't let that stop you if it was your secret next project. :pinkiesmile:

Oh my gosh, don't even tempt me. I love Gummy SO hard. He is, clearly, forever and ever, best pet.


But if I can tempt you I might get to see a story about the best pet ever written by an amazing author. You can see the bind i'm in.

And yes. Gummy is amazing. Best pet for best pony.

I loved, loved, loved this story! There's so little TwiPie out there, but even so it's a special treat to see one so well-written.

Also thanks for shouting out to my story Causality in the comments, and thanks to Professor Piggy for directing me here!

OH my GOSH. Thank you so much for the kind words--coming from you, they really mean a lot. :twilightblush: And I send everyone who indicates they're a TwiPie fan over to "Causality," because it really is that good. Best TwiPie story I've read, hands down.

Curses, I now enjoy PinkieTwi and I must go find your other story for them. Along with Watching you and reading EVERYTHING YOU'VE WRITTEN EVER.

Darn you, Donny's Boy, you magnificent person.

Oh my god this was such a cute story! Very well written! Fav'd, and Watch'd!
Goddammit I need more insulin!

Orrrrrr, you could write a full Twipie fanfic. Ya know, to counter the big ol' Rainbow pie one.

Loved the story....just wished it was longer. Keep up the great work.

raaahhh. you did this to me! :raritydespair:

you got me into twinkie! i never liked this ship, and now its one of my favorites! :twilightblush:

this was a really lovely story!

Heh, heh. Thanks for the nice words, y'all. :twilightblush:

I KNOW HOW YOU FEEL. I felt the same way, when I first started liking Twinkie.

It gets easier with time. I promise. *solemn nod.

why ponies....why? :raritydespair:

Not on this one either? This is a dreadful state of affairs especially considering what this fic has done.
Allow me to reminisce a little bit here in the comments of this lovely story of yours. I read this a good long while ago, and I was impressed to say the least. This guy has written two really good TwiPie stories when I can only really find about five TwiPie stories in total, how very impressive especially since he's so adamantly in love with RainbowPie. This story is what got me to bite the bullet and write Alliteration. Which I have been told inspired others to bite the bullet and write their own TwiPie, which sparked a kind of Twinkie Revolution, and eventually ended with Twinkie's shift into your OTP slot. So in a roundabout kind of way, this was the fic that started it all (or you could blame Causality for making me search out TwiPie in the first place I suppose). But this holds sentimental value for me as well as being pleasing in the literary sense.

I loved Twilight through the whole thing. I love her being self-conscious, I love how unsure she is, and I have to say that the failing at kissing scene never fails to make me crack a grin. Meanwhile, you bring in Pinkie to counterbalance that, and subtly use your silver fingers to show us what we love about Twinkie which is that sense of balancing the other. Other than that I really love all the vivid imagery like the colors of Pinkie's dress, and the description of the flowers, and down to naming the sections of the bookshelves that Twilight hides in. But one of my favorite sections is this one:

“Oh, that’s an easy one!” explained Pinkie with an eye roll and a grin. “That’s because those ponies aren’t important, but you are.”
I love this idea. I love the entire premise of Pinkie only truly caring about the opinions of the ponies she cares about because let's face it while Pinkie cares deeply about her friends and their opinions, worrying about the opinions of ponies she doesn't know would drive her crazy. Or maybe it's just because she is in love with Twilight and that's why she cares what Twilight thinks. Same difference.

This is a long comment, and I think I just kinda rambled all over the place here. Anywho, I love this story and it's one of the stories that I actually drew a bunch of crappy fanart for in my school notes. So yes.

Allow me to reminisce a little bit here in the comments of this lovely story of yours.

"Picture it! Sicily, 1912 ..."

Thanks for dropping by and leaving a review, especially one that says such nice stuff about my story. :twilightsmile:

This story is what got me to bite the bullet and write Alliteration.

Oh, wow, I didn't know that. That's ... aww. :twilightblush: I'm very glad you did decide to write "Alliteration," by the way, as well as everything else that's followed it.

you could blame Causality for making me search out TwiPie in the first place I suppose

Causality is pretty much the great-grandpappy of the TwiPie fanfic world.

have to say that the failing at kissing scene never fails to make me crack a grin.

Oh, yay! I just saw that as something that might fit TwiPie uniquely ... like, Twi's social awkwardness, her fear of failure, her ruining of this Big Moment ... and it just not mattering at all, because Pinkie takes it right in stride and is all, "Oh, well, guess that means we have to kiss again! Oh, darn, right?" I think Pinkie might be good for Twilight like that--there's no pressure with Pinkie, no need to work herself to death to live up to these impossibly huge expectations, because Pinkie likes ponies just like they are.

love the entire premise of Pinkie only truly caring about the opinions of the ponies she cares about ...

That's all my Pinkie Pie head canon falling out all over the place. The idea that the entire world is Pinkie's friend ... but only a few ponies are Pinkie's FRIENDS. It's "Party of One" influenced.

Anywho, I love this story and it's one of the stories that I actually drew a bunch of crappy fanart for in my school notes.

REALLY? *squee!* Oh, that's awesome. I'm so flattered.

At one point, while reading this, I was expecting something. I don't know what that something was, any more, but I was formulating a comment in my head even as I read; I'm sure it involved some very pompous words about short shipfics and their limited scope, yet how I felt you handled it well. Or something. Problem is, I got interrupted. They started dancing in the garden, you see.

Honestly, I think the words themselves blurred a bit after that because I was smiling so hard. Have you ever felt that tightness in your chest? Not the bad one when you want to cry; the delicious tightness that comes with every muscle in your body tensing up, every part of you straining to grin all at once? I got that. I sort of inhaled the rest.

I like authors who realize Pinkie's not 200% Pinkie 200% of the time. I love authors who can present an aspect of Pinkie that isn't used as much as certain other bits, but have it feel like Pinkie. The unproblematic, harmlessifying, pensive-through-not-complicating stuff Pinkie here is delicious. The fic is short, but in the process of these few thousand words, you made me fall in love with her anew.

Yeah so it's 8am, and I'm drunk on sleep deprivation. Maybe I'm laying it on thick. I don't care. This was an amazing way to end my day, and I expect to wake up feeling good still. Thank you.

Oh, heya! Thanks for dropping by and leaving a review! :twilightsmile:

And ... oh gosh, thanks for saying such nice things. I'm so happy you liked the garden dancing scene and that it, apparently, didn't come across as too cheesy.

I like authors who realize Pinkie's not 200% Pinkie 200% of the time. I love authors who can present an aspect of Pinkie that isn't used as much as certain other bits, but have it feel like Pinkie.

I love this too, so it's what I try to do myself. I don't always succeed, but I try. I find Pinkie to be a wonderfully three-dimensional character, and I don't like seeing her reduced to a caricature of herself in fanfic.

The fic is short, but in the process of these few thousand words, you made me fall in love with her anew.

That's one of the best compliments I've ever gotten. Seriously. I'm one of the biggest pro-Pinkie people you'll find, and I'm thrilled that this story had that effect.

688305 694496 Yeah, I couldn't agree with Cloudy more about Pinkie in this fic. I hate reading stories where it seems the author's inspiration for Pinkie is JUST the very first episode of the series, with the surprise party scene and the endlessly talking with no one caring that she opened her mouth.

I'm here thanks to Cloudy's mention of effective short shipfic writing in his journal, and he was right!

I really have a strong fondness for Pinkie and Twilight as a dynamic duo, shipping or not. It seems that you and I both have this idea that Pinkie is a great way to introduce Twilight to questions she had never considered about herself and life in general. :pinkiesmile: I really have to get off my rump and write my own TwiPie shipfic... Curse you for inspiring me!

Pinkie characterization seems desperately hard, but honestly, you nailed it. As nearly everypony above me said, if feels like pinkie when you write her, but presents a deeper side than random outbursts and party cannons.

Beyond that, the fic was utterly amazing and had fantastic characterization for twilight too: the somewhat sarcastic and cynical, logical Twilight. Love that. Not to mention i actually laughed out loud when i saw the 404 error line.

The emotion feels real and unforced. Basically take every positive comment from above and assume I second it, because it's true. One of the best One-Shots i've read in this fandom.

Have some mustaches :moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache::moustache:

I DO think Pinkie is a great character to introduce Twilight to a lot of ideas and experiences she'd otherwise not encounter, and I'm really glad you liked this little story.

Also very glad you started publishing your own TwiPie, as it's great so far. :twilightsmile:

Thanks! Pinkie characterization can be tricky, because if you get it wrong she can be REALLY annoying, so it's good to hear that I did okay here. :pinkiehappy:

My first fic I read of yours was "Our True Colors" I loved it. I'm slowly going through your collection and of course loved this fic. Sweet and well paced, you handled both characters really well. Great work and greened thumbed!

Also, best phrase of the whole story goes to:

"The pink earth pony sat there, completely unruffled, utterly at ease. And, apparently, all too willing to attempt another kiss with Twilight Sparkle despite Twilight’s repeated attempts to ruin just about everything ever."

Thanks for the kind words for both this and "Our True Colors." :twilightsmile: And hee, I liked that line, too.

"Wait, Pinkie Pie's showing a little depth? ... Oh wow I've stumbled upon another Donny fic. Awesome!" :raritystarry:

Great characterization as usual. :twilightsmile:

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