Pinkie Pie's 4th Wall Breaking Variety Show epi 10
The camera turned on, broadcasting live from Ponyville inside the studio that existed on the edge of the 4th Wall, and within its walls was outside of Canon. But strangely enough, functioned with its OWN canon inside!
Pinkie Pie's took up the view of the camera as her roof reached back turning on the device. Smiling. "Hey everypony! Okay! Got everything fixed up and cleaned up, and returned all that extra equipment I rented for the big 'escapees from Tartarus' battle! That was so crazy and scary and exciting! There were so many of us involved I think the studio was on the verge of bursting even if most of us weren't inside the studio! Don't think about it too hard. I bet you're all wonder how I paid off that big bill. But first!" Pinkie Pie breathed on the lens, misting up before wiping it off. "A little call back to the beginning of our first broadcast! Okay, I had a LOT of ideas on how to raise the money to pay for all of that AND fix up the studio (for however long the show has left).
"So yeah, that bill was big, REALLY big, I mean WAAAAY big, so big that it would full grown Spike shudder! Do they have a dragon in account? I bet a dragon could make a hoard with that many bits...Okay okay I'll tell you.
"For starts I decided to cross universes to sue the author of Cupcakes for libel and derailment of characters...but...fanfiction writers are actually dirt poor, which is why the big studio don't sue them in America. In Japan, they consider fanfiction and fanart to be free advertising, funny now that works. And courts were worried who might ELSE get sued if I was allowed to sue him.
"I also tried to get royalties from Hasbro via sheer surprise...but the Princesses told me if I did that, there was nothing stopping other ponies from doing the same, and bankrupting the company and ending our reality...and there is no exchange rate for dollars and bits right now.
"Then I tried to get the money loaned from myself from the future like I did when I borrowed time from myself to build that fortress during the theater changeling battle...but Doctor Whooves told me I'd cause a paradox.
"I was almost gonna sell the royalties to my Party Cannon, but I wasn't out of ideas yet!
"First I might have kinda sorta asked Discord's dad for temp work in Tartarus, you see there's the 'nice happy place' in Tartarus that's set up for meanies who likes bad things like that wicked witch Hydia, so I offered to help there...Discord's dad said he didn't really NEED help to fill it with cute and happy things. I told him he owed me a favor for the trouble the break out caused. He laughed. Discord's dad said then he'd owe a favor to everypony in Equestria if that were the case, and that my bills were my own problem.
"Well, I was don't yet. I did some special effects for Trixie, take the pressure off her sisters helping...Trixie said she didn't need any help, but...said I could be an assistant for a few nights, I was really good at being a distraction like a magician needs...but Trixie looked a bit hurt, like the show was becoming about me instead of her.
"...Then Mrs. Cake should I just hold a bake sale. She didn't know how big the bill was...but...but then...maybe a bake sale was the big thing to have! I did the biggest bake sale I've ever had in Ponyville with help from my friends!...and Canterlot...and Cloudsdale, Dodge Junction, Apploosa, Fillydephia...and Manehatten, Los Pegasus, the Changeling Hive (my goodies are made with love), Trottingham, Hoofington, Baltimare, Mustangia...all on the same day. Did I 'borrow' Doctor Whooves' blue shed again? Of course not, I only did that because Equestria was at stake!...Though I might have helped 'borrow back' the flux capacitor the Doctor 'unborrowed' from the Cutie Mark Crusaders and then 're-unborrowed' after I was done...and might have had to Pinkie Promise never to do it again. But I did get the bits needed to pay off the camera bill, AND fix up the studio good as new!"
Pinkie Pie trotted over to an easy chair and sat down, and pulled out a the what-if machine, but plugged in a cable first, and began to play.
Pinkie Pie tapped on the camera as if this would tell her if it was broadcast or not. She leaned in close her pink face filling the entire view and breathed misting up the lens before cleaning it away with her hooves. Satisfied with it, she nodded with a smile.
She trotted a few steps back smiling. "Hey guys! Oh and I guess girls too! Broadcasting to you between stories of the Pony POV Series! It's Pinkie Diane! Better known as Pinkie Pie! I just wanted ya all to know that the show is still going strong!
"So much has happened since then." Pinkie Pie smiled. "Things I never would have expected, but that's the point right?"
Pinkie Pie sat back as she watched the recordings of the first and second episodes of the Variety Show.
"Heh, guess what Past Me, full body pony suits exist in canon after all (wonder if Rarity made with poison joke there too)."
"Wonder if Spike still has that Rarity body suit stashed away. Heheh, naughty dragon.
"I hope I get to try expresso again some day.
"Do I still have that 'change studio set-up instantly' button? I think the giant robot chicken destroyed it.
"I wonder if we'll ever have a 2nd Annual Mane Six Epic Dance Battle Competition.
"Wow! Blueblood WAS rude back, happy that he's nice now. I guess that means we have to feel SORRY if he gets hurt now.
"Wonder what happened to that narrator guy. Well, I did promise not to break that level of the forth wall again, maybe he lives inside the camera.
"Applejack and Rarity fused into one pony was fun! Too bad they were two ponies in one body instead of a new consciousness being born of their fusion or something fun like that! And then their bodies got switched. That was silly. Might have been more fun if it was their personalities.
"So it was in our SECOND episode that the What-if machine got introduced. Cool! Dang, the scenarioes were depressing right from the start.
"I wonder what happened to the universe where the CMC changes tribes and felt they were HAPPIER that way? Scoots the unicorn, Sweetie the earth pony, and Applebloom the pegasus.
"Titled, 'Part two of two?' I think we're well past that how. HA!
"I used to answer letters from the readers all the time, don't really seem to do that now.
"So episode 2 was when we had the My Little Pony's Anniversary? Who knew? Oh yeah, us.
"Megan was a great visitor to have. I think she was our first cross-gen guest. Then Dashie's . . Dashie's G3 self was our next cross-gen guest. She was fun to meet Rainbow G4 Dashie as 'Spectral Rush'.
"Twilight made an illusionary Nightmare Moon version of herself by Luna, tee-hee!
"Hard to believe the My Pretty Pony toys is what started the My Little Pony toys."
"'Hearts, Hooves, and Hands' it looks like Sherlock-Holmes18 never posted the first chapter. Oh well. Lyra in the My Little Pony Tales verse sounds super fun! I hope he's okay."
"Bonnie Zacherle is getting on in years, but she still rocks, and she IS the one who sculpted the original toys! She wanted BOYS AND GIRLS to enjoy her pony stuff? Well Bronie, remember that, YOU HAVE NOTHING TO BE ASHAMED OF!
"Twilight, I think you MIGHT have OCD, so does Rarity, but nearly as much as you do.
"I guess RD took the Nightmare illusion form better than Twilight did.
"I guess Luna does know how to prank.
"Wonder if that 'make this pony look like their Nightmare Self' spell cloud is still in the vacuum clean in that trash bin.
"Heh, Pony-sona 2! With Starlight and her friends as the heroes!
"Too bad we didn't address what happened to visiting Nyx in episode 2, oh well. I'm sure she's home now.
"But it was FUN for that alternate Discord and Fluttercruel to visit from their chaosverse."
Before Episode 3 could start playing Pinkie Pie unplugged the cord.
"Well, that was sure fun. Now let's see..." Pinkie Pie took a piece of paper and put on some reading glasses. "Okay, so the author is going through his notes for the big finale, but three years is a long time to build up notes, so it's gonna take him a while to get them all straight. So this episode will last...Indefinitely?!...Until the author has finished going through and editing all his notes for the finale?! I'm gonna need a lot of batteries."
Pinkie Pie shrugged. "Well, that just means Midnight and Kifuko can get more screen time. They're super adorable and everypony loves them. Kifuko could get some screen time in continuations, but Half-Light Midnight only exists in this realm, so it's the only time she can really get some time. So...when this show ends...
Pinkie Pie's eyes misted over. "Ya know, I don't know how many times I'm gonna be able to come back to this place now. Now that the fanfic is finally getting near the end...wouldn't it be a joke if the fanfic ended the same time as the show? Naw. The author is TIRED of not being done after three years. But...reminds me of that fanfic, 'The Last Episode'? Where only I was aware our universe was about to end, like when Batman says goodbye to the audience in Brave and the Bold...and...and fans said how they noticed I was crying a little in a screen cap of the last scene...it...it makes me...IT MAKES ME WISH IT DIDN'T HAVE TO END!"
"But all thing have to end someday Pinkie Pie...not just because that's how the world is...not just because it's what makes something special... but...because Pinkie Pie, you've SEEN what happens when a story tries to go on forever...it doesn't have an ending...it simply stops, fades away...and that is far worse."
"M-Maud? What are you doing here? You aren't even formally introduced yet. Or are you? I'm not sure..."
Maud Pie hugged her, not smiling but closing her eyes. "If you don't know how many more of these you're going to be able to do, I thought it best if I visit my little sister on one of her broadcasts while I still can. I know I've cameoed once or twice, but maybe I should let your viewers see me for more than a few seconds."
"T-thanks big sister!" Pinkie Pie hugged he too. Then she looked at her confused. "But Maud...how'd YOU know about G3?"
"...Does it matter? This is non-canon remember?"
"Oh...oh yeah!" Still teary eyed, Pinkie Pie hugged Maud Pie even harder, her neck intertwining with hers.
Pinkie Pie reluctantly broke the hug and smiled and waved at the camera. "OKAY! My totally awesome big sister and co-host! Let's get this party started!"
The banner unfurled behind Pinkie Pie, with (perfectly safe and legal) fireworks going off.
PINKIE PIE'S 4TH WALL BREAKING VARIETY SHOW!
Confetti scattered from the previous rolled up banner and spread over the floor and on Pinkie Diane and Maud Pie. The grey pony didn't seem fazed by now being covered in confetti.
Pinkie Pie took out another note. "Okay, since this episode is gonna be really long, the opening is gonna be really long too! So let's see what's on the agenda! Okay, first!"
Pinkie ran off screen, and the noise of going through various pieces of junk was heard. And finally she rolled in a very large telescope. She put on a pair of 'watching solar eclipse' level sunglasses and gave a pair to Maud as well.
"Now let's see...connect the monitor to the telescope and . . vola! ATTENTION! WHAT IS ABOUT TO BE SHOWN ON THE MONITOR IS 99% CANON! SO PLEASE MAKE NOTE OF THAT!"
"Pinkie Pie...I don't think the window is big enough . . ."
"I'll just use the skylight!"
"Since when does the studio have a skylight?"
"Since now."
"...I'll get the plywood and nails."
"Not yet, first watch!"
And a picture appear on the monitor of the sea of fire that was the surface of the sun.
"Do you mind?! Can't a 'ling endure his exile in peace?!" Shouted a tiny Earth Pony, on the surface of the fiery ocean.
"Hello Kabutomushi, how are the sun flowers coming along?" The Princess said good naturedly.
"They've already sprouted, thank you."
Pinkie Pie said, "I need to ask The Princess some questions. Wait! I've got it!" Pinkie Pie ran off screen again, and rolled a large contraption next to the telescope.
"Pinkie Pie, what is that?"
"It's a RADIO-telescope! I'll be able to talk to the princess with this!"
"Pinkie Pie, I don't think that's how a radio-telescope even works."
"It's okay! I had Applebloom tinker with this one a little. She's a very clever filly, you should meet her!"
Maud said lowly to herself, but didn't break her monotone. "I think I may have."
"Okay." Pinkie Pie coughed and spoke into a microphone built into the nominal 'radio telescope.' "Hi Princess! I thought the newspaper said super-nasty Doctor Kabutomushi was suffering up there." All Pinkie Pie knew was that he was a REALLY BAD Pony.
The Princess didn't react all that surprised. "Hello Pinkie Pie. Oh, he is suffer. He feels everything. All the time. Without end. I just chose to put his time here to good use. And I felt some good old fashioned acts of nurturing might reform him by the end of his sentence. He spends most of his time with his soul five thousand miles below the surface."
Princess Celestia looked kinda scary when she talked about that...kinda like a mother when their foal told her somepony was mean to them at school only a lot more serious.
"The fires burn me as much as for my desire for revenge. Want to see my new floral arrangement?"
"Maybe next time Kabutomushi, I must be getting back to Canterlot. Good day."
"Yes...it is day FOREVER HERE! No night! No rest! No sleep! No respite! The flames burning eternal! I'm ALWAYS on fire but my nerves refuse to burn to ash! Good day. Good b-"
Maud Pie simply covered Pinkie Pie's ears there so I don't know what he said next, the rest of her moving as much as a stone.
The screen fizzled out.
"OKAY! We're back to normal non-canon now!" Pinkie Pie said loud and clear to the camera before pushing the 'radio telescope' and regular telescope off screen and tossing off the sunglasses. The What-if machine was still plugged in, but Maud quickly unplugged it. The two telescopes continued to roll off screen...resulting in a huge calamity of crashing and banging off screen.
"Oops! I'll get that!" Pinkie Pie grabbed a broom and dust pan and ran off screen again.
Maud Pie meanwhile, looked at the What-if machine, and turned one of the dials, bringing the machine to life.
Maud Pie watched as Twilight Sparkles' warning was taken completely seriously by Celestia...she faced no conflicts, everything went off without a hitch, she already had recruited and formed her group by the time Nightmare Moon appeared, and defeated her within minutes.
Next Twilight used a duplication spell on the Gala tickets, the world itself apparently ignoring she was committing counterfitting, again leaving no conflict or true challenge or meaningful set back.
Then Applejack proved strong and powerful to buck the entire apple field and make good on her promises to her fiends without trouble, with no lesson learned or flaws made to be faced.
Rainbow Dash discovered Gilda's violent attitude that sent Pinkie Pie plummeting to the ground that would have been deadly if it had no been Maud's sister, immediately sending Gilda's off.
And...of course...Twilight Sparkle accepting Trixie's challenge at once, turning her into a breezie as her challenge. Breaking Trixie.
But what the ponies hadn't noticed, but Maud Pie had, was the sky was darkening through these events, coloring becoming gray, sounds more muted, background becoming less detailed.
The last words spoke were by Applejack.
"What is the sky darkin'? Why is everythin' turnin' gray?...What is everythin' . . .just...stopping . . ."
Maud Pie said evenly, "And so that world ends, another world of perfect ponies...another world infested by Mare-ey Sues . . ." Maud Pie understood, in that universe...the cartoon had been canceled from lack of viewer interest.
Maud Pie looked at the black and empty screen for a minute, staring at it unemotionally like it was a mirror, until turning the dial.
*FZT!*
Celestia spoke calmly as she dictated the latest installment of her auto-biography. "And yes, I hated tea, but I was over the time Luna was gone, able to slowly redirect Equestria towards a cake driven economy instead of a tea driven economy. And was able to seamlessly replace International Tea Day with International Cake Day by introducing cake and slowly making it the more important part of the event."
Maud didn't reaction. She felt rock tea and marble cake were equally enjoyable.
*FZT!* A glowing white serpent, holding the essence of Morning Star, slithered into the world of humans...prepared to infest the soul of Celestia's wayward student, Sunset Shimmer, and continues his quest to end free will.
Then Principle Celestia came along, saw it, and pour holy water on it, it dissolved into nothing.
The snake LOOKED at the screen, THROUGH the screen, almost PLEADING to Maud Pie somehow.
Maud Pie was surprised (though one wouldn't know it by looking at her), but heard herself reply. "You were already destroyed. You exist as a continuity error. This is clean up."
The screen flickered again and a new screen played.
*FZT!* Several dozen ninja ponies, all strangely named Buffy, leapt at the mane six. Except...they all had bat wings, all had fangs, were surprisingly pretty in spite of being blood sucker o the night, and had sparkles around them. All had bite marks on their necks except for Fluttershy.
"DIE MONSTERS! YOU DO NOT BELONG IN THIS WORLD!" Shouted one of the Buffy ninjas ponies.
Pinkie Bat put on a big black and red cloak. "It was not by my hoof that I was again given flesh, I was made by PONIES who wish to pay me tribute!"
Rainbow Bat whacked her in the back of the head. "Not now Pinkie."
"Oh sorry."
"It's alright. HIII-YA!"
Maud watched (if her expression ever changed her eyes would have widened) as the vampire ponies then took the sparkles around them, by hoof, mouth, wing, or horn, and began throwing them at the ninja horde like shurikens. Creating a star shower of sparkles that pierced the ninjas as they came in wave after wave at the bat ponies until the remainder simply dropped their weapons and melted back into the shadows in retreat.
"Didn't see that coming." Maud commented as the screen changed once more.
It was Pinkie Pie and her friends except...they were all Alicorns. Each with flowing manes and custom barding.
They were over Canterlot but...Canterlot looked, different. Golem ponies walked the steets alongside normal ponies, illusion spells displayed advertisings, and Canterlot City now covered the entire mountain all the way down to Ponyville.
The six friends were in formation, facing off against a larger Alicorn stallion with a gold fur and fiery red mane, and white-in-black eyes. Maud didn't recognize the twisted symbol on his flank, like a swirl with right angles.
"This is the end!" The stallion shouted. "Father's vision will finally be a reality! Free-will no longer mangle what is supposed to be a perfect universe!"
"Wrong Persecution!" Princess Twilight Sparkle shouted. "What ends here today is you and your father's evil!"
"My father is not evil! He is perfection! And you will bow before it!"
"We're not even gonna tell ya to surrender you flank-hole!" Princess Rainbow Dash swore. "BRING IT ON!"
The screen turned itself off before the epic battle could be shown.
"So that's what Pinkie Pie sees in this thing." Maud Pie said to herself.
"All done! I miss anything!"
"Nothing too interesting on the weird machine, just vampire ponies verses ninjas, and you and your friends as goddess against the son of the ultimate evil. I think that last one might be partly canon...I don't know how I know that."
"Oh well. I'm happy I wasn't spoiled then! I want to act surprised when it happen. You sure look surprised!"
Maud's expression didn't change at all.
"Alright. So what's next?"
"Well, I did have one thing the author told me to do. It's kinda shameless, but… them's the rules, I don't want get canceled before the finale. Okay, here we go."
A banner scrolled down with the words
'Top Big Moments That Didn't Makes It To the Trope Page.'
"Okay, first, our Big Moment of Funny that didn't make it onto the trope page:
The brainwashed Vinyl Scratch sub plot. In particular when Octavia asked for a hug, intending to hit her over the head with a vase, but the hug cured her instead.
"Moment of awesome that didn't make it onto the trope page: AJ telling Sweetie Belle how if her trees got up on legs and wanted to live their own lives, she'd let them.
"Next Nightmare Fuel Moment that didn't make it onto the trop page:
Shining Armor and Twilight Sparkle being forced to fight to the death. I have my doubts if this is really a nightmare or not.
"If I was brainwashed and you had to fight me to the death, what would it be for you?"
"Oh it would be horrible! It would be a regular nightmare, oh. I gotcha.
"And finally, Heart Warming Moment That Didn't Make It On the Trope Page:
Button Mash's interview, turning out to be the reharmonization treatment for his mom, where he talks about how much he KNOWS she loves him, which warms her heart to hear. Okay, I guess MAYBE I agree on that one. But seriously, I think the author is WAY too fixated on that trope page for his own good. Maud! What are you doing?!"
The banner scrolled back up, as Maud fiddled with the what-if machine again.
"The first few scenes were...interesting, so I thought I'd try some more."
"No, no no no. That machine is bad news. All it nearly gives is sad and mean stuff."
A digital unhappy face appeared on the what-if machine.
"Oh no no no! Stop! It's okay! You show lots of interesting and fun stuff too! I promise!"
The screen switched to a digital happy face.
A scene played on the what-if machine.
-Attention Somewhat Canon-
The same gold stallion from before whispered in a pony's ear in Canterlot. "Punish them. They're monsters. Not ponies. Punish them. All is justified."
The pony instantly used Cadence's creed of 'Don't use changeling magic to hurt others' to intimidating a changeling into not fighting back.
Justitia however shouted to a squad of royal guards to make a slight deviation in their shout and for other ponies to go get help. Resulting in the hate crime not getting as far as it would have.
The two Alicorns looked at each other, and instantly began to battle. But...they passed through walls like they were not see, no pony seemed to see them, even the Princesses seem oblivious to their presence as the two epically battled across Canterlot invisibly.
-End Somewhat Canon-
"I guess the gods really are everywhere even if you can't see them in this verse." Pinkie Pie admitted. "I wonder who the bad Alicorn is, he looks a lot like nasty Mr. Morning Star."
Pinkie Pie didn't get an answer as the scene changed to a new scenario.
Shining Armor was piloting a jet fighter. Below him, the entire city and perhaps the entire planet was under the mind control song of a single virtual pop idol singer who had an AI copied over from Cadence's mind, created a twisted love of Shining Armor that only made sense to the mad AI.
The real Cadence lay captive aboard the Equestria, the planet's city sized space ship and protector. Now commandeered by the surprisingly powerful AI.
Buck Withers had stayed behind, and had sacrificed himself to destroy the near unbeatable Ghost Fighter that the AI had sent against the pair. Accepting who it was that Cadence truly loved.
Behind Shining Armor however, Gizmo, in the copilot seat, had tried to hack into the AI, hoping to damage her, but instead, she had hacked into him. He was now also under the spell of the siren, thinking that the thrill of death would give Shining Armor the ultimate adventure he sought, and had a gun pointed at Shining's head.
"Gizmo! Fight it!"
"It's only joy, truly!"
Shining ejected Gizmo (saved by the automatic parachute) just in time, but his helmet was damaged and now useless.
A holographic seapony, who bore a vague resemblance to Cadence, began singing through the monitor.
"Shut up! I want to hear anymore of your creepy singing!"
But the siren didn't stop, and floated OUT of his monitor, and in his mind, Shining Armor fought himself in an infinite sky, with the siren encouraging him to go faster and faster, till he'd break the speed of light.
Then...aboard the giant space ship robot, the REAL Cadence began to sing, it was a simple, direct, and heart felt song, a song she hadn't spoken in years. The holographic siren hadn't claimed all her songs.
Shining Armor realized in a flash he was flying STRAIGHT TOWARDS THE GROUND! He pulled up, no longer distracted, his only thought on saving Cadence and destroying the digital mockery of her.
With reflexes that bordered on superpony and a true testament to the engineering of the machine Shining Armor was piloting, he tore trough the storm of automated gun fire suddenly surrounding the giant ship.
Finally, he rammed his own fighter straight through the ship's main computer core, killing the digital witch, protecting himself and his ship with his force field.
The entire city was freed from the digital siren's song. Cadence took the chance to destroy the siren's black box, ending the computer witch's existence completely.
SA landed his fighter on top of the giant space ship the Equestria where Cadence had just destroyed the witch. And Cadence and Shining Armor ran towards one another and embraced with the sun rising behind them.
"Okay. That one was actually nice," Pinkie Pie admitted.
The what-if machine showed...a sea of static.
"Is it supposed to do that?" Maud Pie asked. "I kinda like it..."
"No, I don't think so," Pinkie Pie admitted. She gave the what if machine a few more good whacks.
"Once the concepts decided that to protect mortals from any squabbling or conflict among the gods, to create a giant machine that would be but mindless background machinery and thus have no bias against mortals and judge everything equal.
"It decided, or rather, calculated, in the space of one nanosecond after being activated, without bias, emotion, thought, and with all the agenda of your radiator…to eat the brains of every sapient creature in the universe. The Fool Alicorn must have seen it coming, because Puerilis painted the 'CAN NEVER BE TURNED BACK ON BUTTON' as the 'CAN NEVER BE TURNED OFF EVER' button, so it turned itself off.
"After that...it was decided a universe where gods cared whether sapient life survived or not was preferable."
Pinkie Pie kicked it again.
Finally a new scene came into view.
It showed Pinkie Pie's Alicorn self, Princess Thalia, armored in shining beautiful barding, her mane flowing bright and supernaturally behind her, as big and majesty as Celestia.
She was standing toe to hoof with a giant machine in a star field. It had white casing with black wires, and a glowing red eye was mounted on top, like the eye of a Cyclopes, set into a 'head' that resembled the torso and arms of a humanoid sticking out of where a head should have been.
"Walter Trot is a criminal, and all that believe in such frivolousness story telling! The days of the true great masters his work would have been seen for the mindless jests they are!"
"If optimism, idealism, romanticism, these have become sins for a story teller...to para a phrase from Huck Finn, 'Alright then, I'll go to story-teller hell!'"
Giant cables emerged from the machine-god, with white metal hands appearing on the end to crush the Alicorn, Thalia conjured up several giant Stop-Signs to block them.
"Hopes, ideals, fantasies, these are what lead to wars, deaths, and destruction, what do you refuse to understand this?!"
"No it's you who refuses to understand! The outcome you've decide, isn't the outcome we've chosen, all my dreamers, all my idealists, my fantasizers! We'll decide what shape our dreams will take! And we'll stop the Inserts And Sues too!"
Spring loaded boxing gloves knocked back and destroyed the white hands.
"You can't possibly accomplish all that!!!"
"Just watch us!" She rammed her head and horn into the machine-god's chest, forcing it back.
"How dare a mere goddess think she is our equal! We are reason and sanity!"
"You're conformity and unexceptionally!"
The front part of the machine-god fell open like a set of jaws, showing a much bigger glowing round robot eye. A laser that made all the energy released in the battle between PRincess Celestia and Nightmare Moon look small.
Thalia summoned several 4th Walls, but they began to crack under the strain of the relentless attack.
"BAN-TOTAL-ERASURE! Be as if you never were!"
"No . . . my name might change . . . my appearance might change . . . but it's like Batmare!"
"?! You're insane!"
"Batmare is El Zorro, El Zorro is Scarlet Pimpernel, the spirit of the masked hero lives on. And my concept, taking the good from the old and making it new again, laughter, joy, they're truly immortal!"
The 4th Walls broke.
"Everypony out there! Believe and dream that I can win this!"
The red beam hit her, and she exploded.
Out of the explosion flew Alicorn Pinkie Pie, the size of the depowered Princess Luna.
"GO GO GO!" Pinkie Pie shouted rocking the what-if machine back and forth.
She flew straight at the head of the machine-god. Spear headed wires flew out of the machine, stabbing her.
Racing on a path of starlight, like an after image that became out, of Princess Thalia flew Pinkie Pie of Ponyville who faced Nightmare Moon.
The gaint wire split and struck again.
G3.5 Pinkie Pie leaped out and continued run straight for the head.
Wires shot out of the head's back, and immobilized her. Pinkie Pie of the Dream Age, kept running forward.
The head fired it's eye beam, striking Pinkie Pie as it saw the whites of her eyes.
From her leapt Surprise The Pegasus of Paradise Estate yelled as she grinded along the beam itself, and struck the head right in the face, striking it hard, breaking it away from the main body and shattering its eye and landed behind it.
" . . . If this is how it must be, I beg you, protect the stories..."
Surprise turned around and said, "Of course we will, the stories are a part of us."
The machine-god's lights flickered out, and fell apart into nothing.
The what-if machine finally turned off.
"Well that sure was surprising . . . " Pinkie Pie said, "Been a while since I saw something that over top, maybe like, five or ten minutes."
"You live an interesting life Pinkie Pie." Maud Pie said without changing tone.
"Thanks!" Pinkie Diane's eyes widened a bit. "Oh no! I was so wrapped up in everything I forgot to get all the goodies for the Variety Show from Sugarcube corner! Maud . . . could you."
Maud nodded. "I'll get them."
"Well, I better this place cleaned up again in the mean time for when everypony gets here. No matter how small we try to keep the guests around here, there's always a zillion by the end, and no matter how many times I ask the those-who-write to keep it low, it never happens, might as well go with the flow this time."
Pinkie Pie causally, trotted to get the place ready for the army of guests she envisioned arriving, and nicked the camera as she trotted past, making it look out the window as Maud trotted past the town square.
A stallion stood on a soapbox in the center of the square. He had a dark brown coat, slick back black mane, a mustache, and had a cutie mark of . . . himself? How did that work?
"Stallions and mares! Hear me! The ultimate evil is not chaos, not disharmony, it is altruism! Why should YOU have to give away something you EARNED to somepony who did NOTHING for it? How many wars and horrors were started with the words 'think of yourself?'"
Ponies were drawn to the stallion's words like moths to a flame.
Maud Pie had difficulty showing emotion in ways others could understand who weren't Pinkie. Had Pinkie been there, she would've said 'Maud, why do you look so concerned?' She continued trotted towards sugar cube corner and out of the view of the window.
The camera swung back into view of the studio as Pinkie Diane looked at the lens and smiled.
"Okay. Everything is ready. Time to just go with the flow." Pinkie Pie scribbled a slew of invitation to her friends and then wrote also. "Twilight, AJ, bring your big siblings, I can introduce you to my awesome big sibling. You won't meet her for a while in canon, but this will be fun!" She rang a bell, and Derpy dutifully came to the window.
"Super-priority mail!"
"Gotcha!"
Derpy took the letters, and flew off.
-A While Later-
"Dang, Maud Pie is taking a while with those Cupcakes, hope she's okay."
The door to the studio opened, and in came her friends and some of their family.
"Sweetie Belle I'm just saying, the invite was addressed to me." Rarity walked in.
"Yes, but since you don't have a big sibling, I can come, and bring you, big sister!" Sweetie Belle grinned.
"Ya sure Granny Smith ain't gonna fall asleep and 'Bloom will run off again?" Applejack asked Big Mac.
"Yep . . . trust me, Granny Smith goes nuts if she hears the broads creek, she's not as hard as hearing as she pretends to be. What?"
"Ya said more than one word?"
"Of course Ah did. Remember Applebuck season?"
"Oh . . . oh right, sorry, Ah don't know what that caught me off guard like that."
Fluttershy fluttered in. She didn't have any big or little siblings to bring. But Fluttercruel took control for a moment and said, "I wonder what the fun and games are gonna be this time."
"I hope it's something nice, like stamp collecting, or basket weaving, or knitting. Or the Quiet Game."
"Mom, we need to talk about your hobbies."
"Let's get this party started!" Rainbow Dash declared flying in.
"Rainbow Dash, where's Scootaloo?" Sweetie Belle asked.
"Don't worry. I drop her off at AJ's."
Applejack's eyes widened in worry. Big Mac put a hoof on her shoulder. "Don't worry, it's only two of 'em, and Granny Smith is there."
"But them two are always arugin' without Sweetie there ta keep'em in line."
"That's right," Sweetie Belle sadly admitted.
"Don't worry." Twilight Sparkle teleported in. "I'm sure Spike or Silver Spoon will be able to cover for her. I'll just send a note to Spike to meet them there and . . . DONE! Come on BBBFF!"
"Coming!" Shining Armor, without his armor, came trotting in, followed by Cadence, carrying the sleeping forms of Kifuko and Midnight.
"I really need to get a baby sitter for them." Cadence admitted.
"I think Zecora would be a great baby sitter for them, maybe. She's a Zebra who lives in Everfree."
"THAT Zecora?" Shining Armor said.
"What do you mean THAT Zecora?"
"I . . . might have met her when she was building her house there . . . A pair of brothers sold her a fake deed to Everfree when building there doesn't need permits."
"Flim and Flam." AJ muttered. "How are those two not in jail?"
Shining Armor shrugged. "Slick tongues and fast I guess. I'll check into it sometime . . . maybe."
"You know, it's actually a little strange not to have Trixie here with us after everything," Twilight said.
"Don't worry, she'll show up, she always does," RD said matter of fact.
"So . . . you're Twili' big brother?" Big Mac asked.
"Yep." Shining Armor said.
"And yer . . . captain of the royal guard, married to a princess, most powerful shield user around, and helped save the world?"
"Yep. So how about yourself?"
"Ah . . . Uh, Ah buck apples."
" . . . Well, farming is really important, we wouldn't have an Equestria to defend if it wasn't well fed!" Shining Armor grinned.
The giant and mighty Big Mac actually shrank a bit more (figuratively speaking).
"I mean! I hear that . . . you . . . that you had to help in looking after Applejack when she was smaller, that important for a big brother to do!"
"AJ . . . AJ always insisted on takin' care of herself."
"Oh . . . " Shining Armor had no idea where to take the discussion now.
AJ took one look of Shining Armor, and dragged Big Mac away from him.
"Big brother, ya okay?"
"Ah'm . . . Ah'm fine." AJ looked at him. "Ah'm jus . . . feelin' a little . . . dunno . . . ordinary?"
"There ain't NOTHIN' ordinary about ya ta me big brother!" AJ hugged him, making the red stallion feel a bit better. "Yer the only big brother Ah could want."
Pinkie Pie's pinkie sense went off. Warning her of opening doors. And then a pinkie sense telling her something bad was about to happen. It was like the pinkie sense she got when a plague of bugs was about to strike.
The door to the studio swung open, and in marched a small herd of stallions. All were big enough to give Big Mac a run for his money, and all of them were handsome enough to make Shining Armor feel self conscious about his imperfections. They had pearly white teeth that sparkled.
Two were pegasi, and one was a unicorn.
The cutie marks on their flanks were large and elaborate enough to go down their legs, looking more like paintings on their rears than cutie marks. They trotted with perfect confidence and grace. The pegasi' wings seemed just a little longer than any other pegasus in the room and the unicorn's horn seemed just a little longer than any other unicorn's.
"Hello Fluttershy, it's been forever." Said one of the pegasi.
Fluttershy blinked. "Oh! OH! It's wonderful to see you Zooming Confidence! It's wonderful you could come!"
"As if I'd miss a chance to see my little sister." He hugged her.
"Thank you! You've always cheered me on when I needed it the most! At the Hurricane, when I had to baby sit the fillies, you've always been my one friend even through the worst of times. Fluttercruel! Stop it! Of course he's always been there for me, he's your uncle, now respect him . .. respect . . .there . . .now you remember him and won't be rude? Good."
"Light-Barrier!" Rainbow Dash rushed up and hugged the other pegasus. "It's great to see you after so so long!"
"It's great to see the second fastest pegasus in Equestria too."
"Yeah, but I'm gonna catch up to you some day! Just you wait!"
"Keep dreaming Rainbow Dash, that's what everypony needs."
"You're awesome and smart!" Rainbow Dash praised, seeming not insulted at all by the implication someone was better than her.
"And how are my little sisters doing?" Said the incredibly stylish and totally brilliant unicorn stallion asked in a eligant and gentle stallion voice.
"Oh we're fiiiiiine Uniquely Belle! It's wooooonderful to see you again after all this time. Can you give me some more tips on how to be a lady?"
"Anything for my little sister."
"Wha-? Rarity! Who is this stallion?"
"SWEETIE BELLE! That is no way to talk to your big brother!" Rarity took Sweetie in her magic and brought her face to face with the unicorn stallion. "See? Don't you remember him now? His face, his eyes, his voice, certaintly you can't forget your great big brother now."
"N-no no, y-yeeesss! Of course I do. Sorry Uniquely Belle, I don't know what came over me."
"That's quite alright." He ruffled her mane.
"Meet my big brother! He's captain of the East Wonderbolts!" The posters appeared in RD's room.
"My big brother is the ranger for the other side of the Everfree Forest." The cat tribe wondered where that big building next to their kingdom came from.
"Uniquely Belle is the biggest fashion master in Fillydelphia!" A dozen fancy suits came into being in Rarity's closet.
Big Mac huddled in a cornered. Feeling small.
Kifuko and Midnight began crying.
Zooming Confidence trotted to the babies. "Don't worry, I'm great with foals, twinkle twinkle little star-" Zooming Confidence sang in a transcendent voice too good for this world, the foals shuddered and quieted down at once.
Big Mac felt smaller. He and AJ together always had trouble getting Applebloom to stop crying after their parents were gone.
AJ looked around in confusion. "GIRLS! We've never even HEARD of these big brothers of yours! Ain't it a bit suspicious?!"
"Well, we never heard of Twilight's big brother before," RD said.
"Or this big sister of Pinkie Pie's, dear," Rarity added.
Shining Armor lowered his head, ashamed of something.
AJ heard herself sigh and say, "I guess, they really ain't all that different from YOUR big brother Twili'." 'But I didn't want to say that!'
"Yes they are!" Shining Armor stamped a hoof.
Nearly every everypony in the room glared at the captain of the royal guard who shrank back from the disapproving gaze.
"No need to be a show off and a spotlight hog," Rarity said.
"Yeah that's no cool."
"You should learn from Zooming Confidence how to be nicer," Fluttershy said.
The door opened again . . . and in stepped . . . Gilda.
"Hey . . . Dash . . . " Gilda had a letter in her claw that she hid under a wing quickly. "Looks like I had the bad luck of finding you here, not that I was LOOKING for a flip flop like you, I mean, ugh!" Gilda resisted the urge to bite her own tongue that surprisingly had nothing to do with outer reality parasites.
Light Barrier's eyes narrowed, and so did Rainbow Dash.
"Gilda. What the buck are YOU doing here? Didn't I tell you to go find some NEW friends?!" Rainbow Dash trotted up to the griffin. "You psycho! YOU COULD HAVE KILLED PINKIE PIE WHEN YOU LET HER FALL! YOU STOLE FROM APPLEJACK'S FAMILY! You tried to give Granny Smith a heart attack! You screamed at FLUTTERSHY! YOU'RE A JERK! A BULLY! AND A TOTAL LOSER! GET LOST! I don't want to see your face ever again!"
Gilda's beak hung open in shock. "D-Dash?!"
"You heard my little sister!" Light Barrier loomed over Gilda, easily bigger than her. "GET LOST!" He bucked her in the beak, cracking it, and sending her flying out the door.
The ponies clapped and cheered, Applejack found that included herself, seeing her hooves come together on their own. She saw Cadence was looking around confused as well.
"HEY! Gilda ISN'T THAT AWFUL! Yes she's a immature brat but you've naive if you think she's scum! She's brave, determined, and she doesn't abandon her teammates!" Shining Armor strangely defended the griffin, going out to see if she was fine (the camera following his movements out the window on its own strangely) . . . she wasn't . . . she had flown away at top speed, which for her, was about 99% precent as fast as Rainbow Dash before Sonic Rainboom. Was she . . . crying?
"You shut up!" Light Barrier said, "She's a bully. Simple as that."
"She yelled at my little sister, no pony does that!" Zooming Confidence declared.
"And she's rude and a thug, simple as that." Uniquely Belle Finished.
The little sisters stood proudly by their big brothers, glaring at Shining Armor, who to his own confusion felt weak and small, he had faced soul-eating demons and the big delete key of creation itself, why was he suddenly scared of three untrained stallions?
Out of Sweetie's saddle bag, transparent wolf pup a familiar to AJ crawled out and climbed on Sweetie Belle and nipped her in one ear.
"THAT STALLION IS NOT OUR BIG BROTHER! WE DON'T HAVE ONE!" Sweetie Belle shouted.
Rarity slapped her. "You will never say such horrible things again! YOU UNDERSTAND YOUNG FILLY?!"
Uniquely Belle, and the other big brother took a step back from the wolf they could see. Uniquely's horn glowed. "Sister, look what's near Sweetie Belle."
"What?" Rarity blinked dimly for a moment before saying, "OH MY WORD! HOW DID THAT DISGUSTING THING GET IN HERE?! GET AWAY FROM MY FAMILY!" Rarity's magic lifted up the wolf. Fluttershy gave the wolf the stare. And Rainbow looked ready to rainboom the poor thing suddenly able to see it acting strangely hostile.
"Have ya'all gone nuts?!" Again was able to get out and roped around the wolf pup and pulled him to her.
"Blanky! Don't hurt him!" Sweetie Belle cried out.
"What! Sweetie! Ya know the Wolf?" AJ said surprised.
"He's my pet! Please!"
Cadence said, "WHAT WOLF? What are you all looking at?! It's . . is it?"
"The wolf is here?! I . . . I can't see it . . . I guess . . that means it's not after me right?"
"Why would, whatever they're talking about be after you Shining?" Twilight asked.
"Twiley, I don't care if this is not 'canon' or not. Please don't make me answer that."
Pinkie Pie stared in shock at everything was going on. Her head was swimming. Every time she tried to form a thought, a random joke popped into her head instead, why did packing material pop, how did fish survived when lakes froze, why couldn't the sky be polka dots? Ugh! Why was it so hard to think?
"Well, whatever they're talking about, it's obvious trying to hurt their big brothers and brainwashed Sweetie Belle, so it's clearly up to no good," Twilight Sparkle said. "Better just seal it away in the moon just to be on the safe side."
The symbol of magic began to glow on Twilight Sparkles' body, as it did on little sisters . . . it came unbidden on Pinkie Pie who found herself thinking of fun stuff whether she liked it or not.
It was flickering on and off on Applejack as she resisted her inner Element appearing for no good reason.
"AJ, come on, evil monster that neats a good love and tolerance death ray to the face here!" Rainbow Dash snapped.
"N-no!" AJ grunted.
"Don't! That wolf's an important part of the world!" Shining Armor shouted creating a protective force field . . . over nothing.
"Five feet to yer right Shini'." AJ panted.
"Oh, thanks!"
In that time frame, Sweetie Belle brought herself next to the wolf and cuddled him. "PLEASE! Don't hurt Blanky! He hasn't dont anything wrong!"
"He's erased your memories of our big brother! I'd say that counts!" Rarity said. Rarity's magic pulled at Sweetie Belle, but she refused to let go of the invisible wolf pup.
It clicked in Shining Armor's mind. "These AREN'T your big brothers! They're things infested your memories and infested your existence! They're parasites who need you to exist! They're making themselves to be what THEY see to be perfect and making YOU see them as perfect!"
"That's dumb." AJ heard herself say, and covered her mouth, feeling horribly ill inside. But the words came unbidden anyway. "If that's true, then would that really make you like THEM, Mr. 'Captain of the Royal Guard, Tragically Got His Own Uncle Killed That Motivated Him, Married To the Goddess Of Harmony, Erased Yer Own Cousin From Existence, Super Shield Magic, And Big Brother To Celestia's Apprentice?!" AJ hadn't even KNOWN Shining Armor had lost a member of his family that motivated him.
"BBBFFF!!! THAT'S ALL LIES ISN'T IT? Applejack is lying right?!"
Twilight then asked Shining Armor with stars in her eyes. Forgetting about zapping the wolf for a moment much to the frustration of the other big brothers in the room minus Big Mac. "Big brother isn't an extra-dimensional virus that twisted reality to suit him, right?" She then magically pulled Applejack into a headlock so she couldn't say a word of objection.
Shining Armor said the first then that came to his mind.
"Look a distraction!"
He pointed at the door, which happened at that moment opened up to reveal Maud Pie pulling behind her a princess' ransom of cupcakes and treats.
'Hey that worked,' Shining Armor thought.
Big Mac barely noticed, he was the most unextraordinary and mundane big brother of all time after all.
Maud Pie calmly pulled the large cart confections cart into the room her slow pace never breaking, she looked around at the ponies and the drama.
Sweetie Belle continued to hug Blanky to use herself as a shield.
Applejack was still head-locked by Twilight.
The other three mares were eager to blast the blank wolf as soon as their friends got their action together.
Midnight and Kifuko remained asleep flawless as if it was impossible for them to wake up until Zooming Confidence wished them to.
Cadence was dismayed at seeing her sister-in-law acting this way. And found the cake delivery almost surreal. She remembered the stories of the last galloping Gala, and kept her eyes peel for stage diving ponies.
Shining Armor was happy for the distraction, but wondered what to do about the three 'big brothers.' Maybe they weren't evil? Maybe they were just naive? He had become big in Twiley's life, and . . . he knew things MUST HAVE been different before he was . . . written into Twiley's life. Maybe it was the same here?
Pinkie Pie was able to gain enough agency at seeing her sister to break being forced to summon her inner Element, after all, there was no way in Tartarus Pinkie Pie would ignore her big sister in a crazy and chaotic situation like this!
"Hii Maud! Thanks for bringing the snacks!" Pinkie Pie wanted to say 'Help! Evil reality bending Mary Sues!' but those words refused to come out with three present bending the world to their presence.
"Welcome Pinkie Pie." She said cooly.
Unlike the ponies who had jumped at the chance to meet their big brothers, the ponies' reaction to Maud were more subdued.
As Applejack looked at Maud Pie, and used her truth vision, there was something off about this mare, like Shining Armor and the brothers, and she looked like a recoloring of Pinkie Pie's other sisters. But . . . something seemed more . . . subdued about her, calmer, less, well, garish. AJ remembered about not judging ponies on WHAT they are . . . maybe Maud just wanted some family?
Shining gave it deep thought. 'Alright, what could Nameless NOT do? That would make good proof...Ignore an opportunity to talk about himself.'
"Hey, Zooming Confidence. I know we're in a tense situation, but I can't help asking, what is your backstory? What are any and all possible things of note you've done I can praise the ground you walk on for?"
"Why thank you! I'm far too humble to recount it myself. But I know Fluttershy would be more than happy to."
"And I know Rarity could recount all she loves about me."
"And Rainbow Dash will get a kick about telling you all about my awesome adventures!"
The three mares nodded looking like puppies being offered treats.
Maud looked around. "Pinkie Pie, you didn't mention your friends would bring their colt friends. Is there enough to go around?"
The three mares bleched. "Coltfriends?" They then hugged them each. "He's my brother!"
"I see." Maud said calmly.
"Can you stay put for a tick, we've got a monster to trash." Said Light-Barrier.
Maud Pie shrugged. She could tell she had walked in on a very awkward scene.
"No! Don't!" Sweetie declared.
Maud's face didn't change as she looked at the filly, she was holding SOMETHING, but Maud couldn't tell what. She just knew the filly wasn't holding air.
Cadence couldn't take this anymore. "TWILIGHT! LET GO OF APPLEJACK! SHE'S YOUR FRIEND!"
Twilight blinked and did exactly that, feeling a bit like waking up from a dream. But . .. the wolf thing . . . it was a danger, it had to be stopped, right?
Cadence now realized all the attention was on her and blushed.
Maud didn't seem to mind the spot light had been pulled away from her. Now AJ and Shining Armor both knew this mare wasn't like the others.
"Everypony! This is my big sister Maud Pie! You won't meet her in canon for a long while, but we can meet her now outside of canon! Say hello Maud."
"Hello." Maud said passionlessly.
"Are you defective?" Light-Barrier said.
"Is there something wrong with your sister?" Rainbow Dash mimicked her big brother, if her big brother did it, then it was alright, even insulting her best friend's big sister.
"Hey! Maud isn't defective! She's unique!" Pinkie Pie came to her sister's defense.
"Unique defective." Light-Barrier said matter of fact, RD nodded. "You really shouldn't hide from having problem like that. It's not healthy."
Sweetie was happy they were at least distracted from Blanky.
Rarity felt a wave of confusion go through her, why wasn't she either helping her friend take care of the beast threatening Sweetie or greeting Pinkie Pie's sister? It wasn't proper manners for a lady at all for the latter, and a good big sister to neglect the former.
Maud trotted up to Light-Barrier, unhitching the confections cart she had pulled in.
"You are unworthy of my quiet darkness' peace." Maud Pie had no idea at all why she had whispered that to him.
Light-Barrier looked shocked and alarmed.
Rainbow Dash got in Maud Pie's face. "HEY! Don't go scaring my big brother! He's the bravest pony there is!" Maud didn't even flinch. "HEY! I'm talking to you! Don't ignore me!" Rainbow snapped.
Rainbow! Just because Maud Pie is mean doesn't mean you have to be mean." Fluttershy said.
"She is rather uncouth," Rarity said.
Maud's expression didn't change at all. Pinkie Pie hugged her.
Sweetie Belle was too distraught to notice that Blank was getting more agitated and unset the longer this went on.
Twilight Sparkle felt dizzy, since when did her friends act this . . . hostile? Since when did she? Of course, Maud Pie was bad, so there was nothing wrong with this, of course.
Pie Pinkie felt a headache too. And she remembered, that one alternate universe, were two Mare-y Sues had appeared in a world at once, their reality warping presence causing a feedback loop between the two, damaging reality. Mare-y Sues were the center of attention in stories, or basically the whole reason the story happened in the first place, having two centers of attention was impossible. That Pinkie's reality was on the verge of collapsing at the end (killing the Sues had been a futile gesture of course, they god-moded they way back to life). That world's Pinkie Pie having to break beyond the forth wall having to delete the story just to save her friends. That had been two mare-y sues. What . . . was gonna happen . . . when there was three?
A distortion was building up between the three brothers, but it was only Applejack, the wolf, Cadence, and Sweetie Belle and maybe Maud could see it.
Shining Armor gave it thought. 'Okay, so clearly the brothers are like Nameless but this mare isn't...what can I do to snap Twilight out of this...The angrier they get, the weaker their powers get. What can...AH! Sues are vulnerable to pointing out their mistakes and contradictions! And getting their names wrong.'
"Hey, Light Bearer. As Rainbow Dash's big brother, you obviously taught her everything she knows, right?"
"Of course I did!" Light Barrier replied, though gave a snarl at his name being mispronounced.
"That's right, my big brother taught me everything!"
"And that includes loyalty to her friends, right?"
"Naturally!"
"Then why are you ENCOURAGING her hurting her friend by insulting her sister? And not correcting her for doing so? Like a GOOD big brother would?"
"Well, if Pinkie Pie is ignoring her sister having a problem, then it's the best thing to do. You should be ashamed for suggesting she should just ignore her problems."
"Don't say to BBBFF! Now I'm doing it!"
Cadence asked. "You're aware you're doing it?"
"Yes?"
"Then you're fine."
=Boss Prelude - Kirby's Return to Dream=
The distortion grew bigger as the chaotic exchange of words, actions, and feeling overlapped and tied themselves in knots.
"Get the monster!" Rarity shouted. "Use the Elements already girls."
"Maybe we should all just stop now?" Fluttershy asked meekly not showing her normal burst of decisiveness in these moments, being flattened to her normal shy persona.
"So let tell you about Maud."
"-Twiley I really do think-"
"-girls Ah think we all need ta calm down some, yee-haa! Dagnabbit!-"
The floor began to rumble.
Shining tried to think of something. Particularly to distract everypony from the Wolf so it could do its thing. Then an idea occurred to him. "Hey, Cadence, don't you think Pinkie's sister Maud looks like a fun person to be around and we should spend several minutes asking her about herself?" he asked, giving a wink.
Cadence blinked, then remembered a certain flaw about Nameless: his inability to handle NOT being the center of attention. "Sure, Shining, that sounds like a great idea."
The brothers looked agitated, and Shining Armor, felt something ripple.
The wolf whimpered, and leapt out of Sweetie Belle's protective rip, and slipped through Shining Armor's protective force field, leaping towards Applejack.
A pillar of water exploded from the distortion in the floor. The studio was flooded in an instant, leaving every pony ankle deep in water (knee deep in Sweetie Belle's case).
=Ferris Wheel Boss Appears - Sonic Colors=
Cadence directed her adopted babies onto a table and quickly had Shining place a force field around them. Big Mac finally noticed a little of the chaos around him.
The brothers look confused, unsure, and utterly befuddled.
Shining made it a point to NOT look in the direction of the brothers. "Are you girls all alright?" he asked. Something bad was obviously happening, but he wasn't about to let Nameless 2, 3, and 4 have a chance to calm down.
The pillar splashed down, and floating with the water . . . was a seapony. Maybe. She was much larger than seapony any of the ponies had read about in their myths and legends. She looked much more like a mundane seahorse than merepony or seapony. Her colors were dark blues and purples with red high-lights.
"We're in trouble," Pinkie Pie said simply.
The wolf pup whispered. "The . . . presence of three inserts together, forced to use their powers in one place . . . in this small realm of possibilities, with the barrier between worlds so thin here . . . it let her come through."
= Little King's Story--Final Boss Appears =
"She another thingie that wanted in from beyond?" AJ responded, figuring she ask the wolf how he knew Sweetie Belle later.
"She is much much much much worse. She is from the heart world."
Pinkie gasped in horror. 'A canon sue! The worst type of Sue!'
"I have arrived." The large seapony said simply.
"HEY! The author never gave you a green card!" Pinkie Pie shouted, quickly putting plugs in her ears. "And if he had he'd have toned you down considerably!"
"I let myself in."
"WHAT THE HECK IS GOING ON?!" Rainbow Dash asked, as hopelessly confused and lost as everypony there.
"You don't need to worry about that Rainbow Dash," said the large seapony, "In fact, you don't need to worry about anything at all. I am Cassie the Kelpie, and I am here to make way in Ponyville. Don't worry about anything." She began to sing.
- 'Dark Luna' Lunar, Silver Star Story -
In an instant, Big Mac, Shining Armor, Rarity, Rainbow Dash, Twilight Sparkle, Fluttershy, expressions became of those of empty automations.
Pinkie Pie got ready with the Party Cannon, but she had underestimated the limitless power of the twisted horror, the willess body of Maud Pie came up behind her, took out her ear plugs, and Pinkie Pie's expression became just as empty, like a corpse.
"YOU DARE BRAINWASH OUR LITTLE SISTER? HAVE AT THEE WENCH!" Uniquely Belle shouted. The three brothers ready to destroy the siren in one wrathful swoop.
But her distortion, empowered from the blood of the heart world, overpower theirs, and they were knocked back as their own little sisters attacked them.
"Now then. Let's be going."
"No!" Cadence shouted her horn flaring and shooting a magic blast at the siren. "Leave my family alone!"
"YOU'RE CHEATING! Don't you know NONE but animals can resist my song?"
"PONIES ARE ANIMAL TOO! THAT MAKES NO SENSE!"
"No-sapient!"
"Have you SEEN how smart some of my sisters' friends' pets are? That makes even less sense!"
"You make no sense!"
"I am the concept of music itself! If Auntie can survive a trip to the sun, then I can ignore that noise you call music!"
The siren sang her words. "Whatever . . . I don't think you're going to fight all your friends AT ONCE to stop me. I have to be going. Bye."
A barrier appeared around the studio, and another around Cadence and the siren.
"You are kidding me." The siren sang.
"Shining?" She saw her husband still a slave to the siren's song. But then who? From the table shined magic.
Cadence saw her darlings, Kifuko feeding her magic, as Midnight produced a force field around them, a double random magic surge empowering them. With the brothers' distortion overpowered by Cassie's, the two babies were awake.
"Thank you." She whispered.
Cadence blinked when a familiar white wolf trotted besides her. "I can not use my true power against a creature from the heart world, from which all worlds are born . . . but I will fight at your side Temperance."
" . . . thank you."
Then a orange gold wolf paced to the other side of Cadence.
"I am the Opaque Wolf, I am here to smite that which does not belong in this branch of reality. I am the left wing of fate!" It said simply. Cadence didn't notice AJ was missing.
~A minute before, AJ sighed as she felt the wolf touch her soul.
'We gotta do this again?'
'To help save your friends. I am not the wolf who can fight that of the heart world at my true power. She is a creature of Canon, I can not harm her without becoming mortal, but you can.'
'So much fer never doin' this again. Fine. Tell wolf-me hello for me.' ~
"Three against one! I can still beat you!" The siren sang.
"I'll fight too!" Sweetie Belle went through the magic barrier, unaffected as the Siren's puppets found themselves unable to.
"YOU'RE SUPPOSED TO BE UNDER MY SONG! YOU WERE EXPLICITLY SHOWN TO BE UNDER MY SONG! DRAGONS AND ALICORNS WERE UNDER MY SWAY! YOU'RE BREAKING THE NARRATIVE!" The siren's song became a screech to Sweetie Belle.
"Equestria Girls 2 is doing your gimmick better!" Pinkie got out in the moment of clarity but was ignored.
Cadence said, "Trust me. It makes sense within the rules of this world. If I can ignore you, so can she. But Sweetie-"
"Chryssy taught me black magic, I can fight."
Cadence was in no position to turn her down.
"YOU'RE ALL CHEAITING! GOD-MODERS!"
"You're a game-breaking horror that make the changelings look balanced!" The Opaque Wolf said.
"Hey!" Sweetie said.
"Don't say that about my subjects!" Cadence objected.
"Sorry."
"You're like Nameless! You're a plague!" Cadence said.
"No! I'm canon!"
"Well you're not welcome here!" Cadence said.
"Let's do this!" Opaque wolf swore.
= 'Eternity' - Blue Dragon -
"WAVES BE WILD!" A tidal wave rose from the water, knocking the four heroes back.
If Pinkie Pie had free will at the moment, she'd have said, 'Geeze, even the bad guys the author hates get upgrades.'
Cadence fired a sonic blast at Cassie, she gasped in pain a the direct hit.
The wolves combined their efforts and attacked as a pair, crisscrossing Cassie, leaving claw marks over her body.
Sweetie began chanting under her breath as her horn glowed.
"You can't do this! I am justified and sympathetic!"
A protective sphere shaped barrier appeared around the Kelpie. Along with dozens of small water sprits.
=Moral Justification Excuse Barrier Activated =
Destroy 48 Water Sprits In Twenty Seconds Came a narrative voice.
Sweetie kept chanting. Cadence used a sonic blast to wipe away a large mass of them, turning them back to water, while the wolves moved like lighting, wiping them out just in time.
=Moral Justification Excuse Barrier Negated =
Water shaped itself into scythes that cut at the party. The white wolf was angle enough to avoid, but not the golden wolf and Cadence used herself as a shield to protect Sweetie who was still chanting.
In an instant Sweetie's eyes shot open. "-and wipe away the fools that stand in my way!"
A giant green blast shoot from Sweetie Belle's horn, obliterating one of Cassie's fore-fins and part of her torso. Sweetie Belle panted.
"I am of the heart world, this is impossible." Cassie swore, lookin at the damage to herself. "It's against narrative for me to fall! I'm misunderstood!"
"This isn't the heart world. Any high ground ya had there is lost here. Yer a poorly written plot hole. And yer are not welcome here," the golden wolf swore. "Let's finish this!"
Pinkie regained herself enough for a split-moment to bring up a card to the camera.
DA RULE!
1. What you put in the comments appears in the story.
2. Nopony besides Pinkie Pie can see beyond the fourth wall or interact with it and she can't spill the beans about the ponies being out-and-out fiction to the others.
3. The camera can't leave the studio.
4. The characters can be from any generation, toy or comic but they have to be from "My little Pony"
5. Everything that happens here is non-canon (unless said otherwise).
6. Have Fun
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Indeed Cassie is! In every possible meaning of the words!
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It is the only one of two comic books I have ever returned. I didn't even buy that compilation even though it had Trixie's Manehatten story arc in it. To have THAT story come after Trixie's story was painful! Louis I think dislikes villains getting a "slap on the wrist" this is one time I'm in 100% agreement. Seriously, this overpowered broken villain sue was like something out of a fetish story, and it showed WHY fetish stories should STAY fanfiction.
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Oh, but Trixie's story was cool! I especially liked that, considering An Extended Performance was written first, and set in Manehattan. I think Trixie makes up for Cassie.
No, I did not like Cassie one bit. She was in-story evil and not called on it by anypony, and out of story a total Canon / Villain Sue. I remember you hated her even more.
This being something involving a certain curly maned party loving and party planning pink pony who regularly screws over physics, I'm just gonna borrow a page from Joshscorcher's book and say "It's Pinkie Pie, don't question it."
A lot of ideas, all right, I'm listening.
Thank you Pinkie Pie.
Pinkie Pie, trying to sue Sergeant Sprinkles. Well, I can imagine that in an AU, Cupcakes made money (Celestia forbid) so that, could happen. Someone, make it happen! Don't care how,
Yes, and you could have all the money you want, but if your reality ends, it's not gonna do much. And yeah, with no exchange rate, it'd be fairly pointless. I can actually imagine Pinkie Pie marching up to Hasbro HQ, and throwing them a party for them confirming Season 5 of MLP.
Yes, when it comes to time, best listen to the pony who knows all about it. Plus, fezzes and fedoras may be cool, but creating a paradox is not.
I think I read a fic once where Pinkie Pie started up a Party Pony business with Cheese Sandwich. That was fun, sadly, I don't remember it.
I suppose he has a point.
Considering her history, I can see why that wouldn't go over very well with her.
Correction: Then Mrs. Cake SAID I should just hold a bake sale.
I'd ask how you made pastries with love, but considering you regularly break the laws of physics, it's probably best I don't. Though how does one unborrow or reunborrow, on second thought, never mind.
*grabs popcorn.*
Yep.
Correction: Wonder if Rarity made THEM with poison joke there too.
And you were theone who used them in the Season 3 premiere. A full body Fluttershy suit if you're curious.
If you were in his situation, you probably would have too.
It is possibly.
Correction: Question mark not period.
And I certainly hope so.
Unless it's funny.
Probably.
Yep. And it's Scenarios. No extra "e"
Wasn't that a tumblr blog? Vocational Death Cruise or something where they got switched due to Poison Joke?
Yep.
Indeed.
Hehe.
As far as I'm concerned, this is the only place where I can acknowledge G3 unless Rainbow'smother in a fic is G3 Dash. I tried watching G3, but, it really wasn't my thing.
I remember that. This really is a trip down memory lane, now all we need is for an alicorn to come in and start singing and for you to become an alicorn.
Ironic that a line of toys for little girls eventually results in a show that managed to inspire you to write THIS. Incredible.
Same.
I once saw an image of the majority of the MLP Analysis community with both the Fausticorn, and Bonnie Zacherle as an alicorn. And it's either BronY or BronieS.
Probably.
Yep.
Eeyup.
Maybe.
Oh yeah, that.
I'm sure she is.
Oh yeah. Shouldn't the C in Chaosverse be capitalized though?
Aaaw.
Oh yeah. I'd give you some, but I don't know the kind you need.
...
I know how you feel Pinkie, I really do, but I think Pony POV will end before the show, even with Sombra and later arcs being picked up by others, since there is an MLP movie planned for 2017, so that's at least 2 more seasons, add to that the Equestrian Academy series that's supposedly coming up, and I'm fairly certain this'll end before MLP does. But, alas, all good things must come to an end.
Precisely. MLP may have an incredible staff writing the stories and planning the jokes, but they can only DO so much.
I think she had a cameo in Season 8 when Entropy's pony avatar was hit by SOMETHING creating Maud.
This is really nice. As much as I enjoy a good comedy, or an awesome adventure, it's these little heartwarming moments that really make me smile.
That's, a good question, Maud doesn't have Pinkie's ability to Break The 4th Wall or screw over physics, she's just very strong. Oh yeah, non-canon.
True.
*smiles* Yes.
All right! Ain't no party like a Pinkie Pie party!
Of course, unsafe and illegal fireworks would just cause trouble.
Nothing fazes Maud.
*gets notepad*
I love that reaction, how she's so used to this brand of weirdness that she just takes it in stride.
Considering what you did, no.
Good to know.
I think she's right.
This is again a case of "Blast you Twilight Sparkle.", you need to switch the sentence and the description around.
Bad Changeling techncially.
The Princess didn't SEEM all that surprised. "Hello Pinkie Pie. Oh, he is sufferING." Etc.
Yeah, Celestia is scary when mad.
Err...
Good idea.
It's OK.
Oh boy.
Leaving not !eaving.
Sending Gilda off, not Gilda'S off.
Ah, right, that fic.
Ah, right, the world is slowly grinding to a halt due to there not being enough interest to keep it going. I know you dislike the fic, but that still feels like a rather cruel Take That.
Ouch...
Clever Celly.
That, would probably shatter anypony or even anybody else's teeth.
Ah, that's one explanation for the fall of Sunset Shimmer.
That, and Morning Star is a giant jerk, and I'm being kind.
Nor, did I.
Cool.
The Swastika...
Persecution. Swastika cutie mark. You're not even trying to be subtle, are you? But kudos, didn't see that coming.
Shouldn't it be "you plot-hole!"? On second thought, considering the nature of Pony POV, that's very clever.
Oh pants.
Apparently.
Question mark not exclamation mark after anything.
You're enjoying this, aren't you?
My headcanon is that her facial expression changes minutely to the point where only her family can tell if there is a change.
You're right Pinkie. It is shameless.
That was funny.
Eh, debatable.
I'd say Tear Jerker really.
He really is. (I'm just kidding.)
Oh, this moment.
Grrrr...
You mean, shouted AT a squad and slight deviation in their ROUTE.
It's his son.
Shining Armor is awesome!
I see.
Godspeed Buck Withers. I like how he's supposedly sacrificed himself for Shining.
That AI is one heck of a threat.
O whoa, o whoa, you didn't know that you fell, o whoa, o whoa, now that you're under our spell... (I couldn't resist.)
That is a terrible idea, only actual ships can do that even in Star Wars, no single fighter, except for perhaps Vader's TIE can do that, and I'm certain you're not that advanced.
And this is why Alicorns are awesome. And SANG in years.
Nice? NICE?! That was bucking awesome!
The Fool maybe silly, but not stupid.
This is why Pinkie is bucking awesome.
That works.
WHY do you refuse to understand this. Not what.
No need to capitalize "and". As for Pinkie, alicorn Pinkie Pie is Awesome Pinkie Pie.
I really like the back and forth.
Not need to capitalize the R in Princess. Also, that's a lot of power.
How, does that even work?
Eh?
Why the "?!" at the beginning? Either put something before it, or delete it.
Also, she's not insane. She's awesome.
I see.
You enjoyed writing that.
Come on, come on...
That was awesome!
You have no idea.
Cool Big Sister trope, check!
Smart move.
I'm not sure.
I already don't like him.
Should be fun.
Why is Cupcakes capitalized, and why is Pinkie referring to her sister by her full name?
The logic of a child. Impeccable.
Because usually Big Mac is content with just "Eeyup" or "Eenope"?
We're gonna find out.
You really do.
DropPED her off. Also, that's, worrying.
Eeyup.
Right, Cadence is her sister in law, easy to forget that.
Of course, the con artists Flim and Flam.
Hmpf.
We'll see.
Indeed.
It's OK, Big Mac, you're still awesome.
*daaaw meter explodes*
Oh boy.
*disgusted sneer* This again. Oh Blank Wolf, we have some Gary Stu's for you...
Oh great, this is what I was afraid of.
You have got to be kidding me.
*growls* Anyone got an Anti-Sue machete?
*violent eye twitch*
Someone restrain me.
Be that as it may, they're fairly normal ponies. Stronger then the average, but still normal ponies.
What's going on here?
Bull. This is like the thing with fake Cadence in Canterlot Wedding, except worse.
This must be hard for her, to swallow her pride like this, but, kudos to you for doing it, Gilda.
What the hell Dash?! That's totally uncalled for!
I'm as shocked as you are.
OK now I KNOW something is up, the only ponies whom I can think of who would be taller then a griffon would be Cadence, Luna and Celestia.
I'm as confused as you are, Cadence.
Almost as fast as pre Sonic Rainboom Dash, not bad, not bad at all. And from what we've seen, that does sound possible. And THANK YOU Shining Armor for being Immune To Plot!
She may be rue, yes, she did yell at Fluttershy, yes, and she was a bully, but she WAS trying hard to be civil, it wasn't easy, and she could easily have been a jerk, but she wasn't, well, trying not to, that alone makes her worthy of a second chance.
Because they're Gary Stus.
Speaking of the delete key...
Here here!
OK something is VERY off, Rarity is a lady first and foremost, and by no means violent.
It IS a Gary Stu, it can perform a spell to let the other see the Blank Wolf, it can SEE the Blank Wolf, something only Shining due to his Plot Immunity, Pinkie, I think, due to her 4th wall abilities, and Sweetie for reasons not yet explained.
(It appears I'm going to have to continue this comment in a second play by play.)
He hasn't done anything, so what's going on here?
Applejack or AJ, not Again.
It's a long story, AJ.
Not this time.
Long story.
Probably for the best.
Because something is stopping you so that you can't blast the Gary Stus.
OK, the EOH don't even work that way and I KNOW you don't have enough power to send something to the moon.
Oh boy...
Because her Truth vision allows her to know instinctively that something is wrong.
NeEDs. And is it not an evil monster, and the EOH are NOT a death ray.
Heh.
They are NOT your big brothers.
Exactly!
Wait, when did Shining erase his own cousin?
He's not.
I'm surprised too.
Other then being a great big brother, strong even by earth pony standards, one of the first stallions in MLP to get a name...
Even the NAMES sound stupid.
Not gonna ask. And peelED.
Except you are a real, flawed pony.
Drat.
Maybe. And she's an actual character. NOT a badly written OC.
That'd work, if they were Nameless, but these guys are slightly different.
*eye twitch*
Maud Pie is best pony. Seriously, she's hilarious!
Thank you Cadence.
It is potentially a threat, yes. But only if you're trying to screw with reality in a harmful way.
*chuckles*
Correct.
Hello Miss Pie, it's a pleasure to meet you.
No, she just doesn't express her emotions in the same way.
Exactly.
She's not defective!
Hm.
Yikes. It's easy to forget who Maud started out as, I won't spoil it for those who haven't read Season 8.
Calm down Rainbow.
She's not mean, but you have, half a point.
Not really, she's just very subtle with her emotions.
Daaw.
Upset. Also, oh dear...
Oh my god, at least she's starting to wonder what's going on.
Oh, crapbaskets.
Looks like it.
Oh this is gonna be fun!
Because Shining Armor=Awesome pony and even better big brother.
*snort* Bullshit.
Oh this is gonna be fun!
Let ME tell you about Maud.
On this is gonna be fun!
Oh crapbaskets.
What the hay?!
So it seems.
Oh crap baskets.
Dunno.
The comics?
Yep.
I don't know, I don't really read the comics!
I'm NOT making a Dazzlings joke.
Crap.
Never thought I'd see the day where I root for a Gary Stu. Especially these 3.
Ponies are animalS too and noN sapient.
You're even worse at comebacks when Sonata.
That works.
This is gonna be GLORIOUS!
Better that then do nothing.
He will.
And it's explained, the Sirens's song is magical allowing them to mind control others as well as increase their negative emotions causing conflict, which feeds their magic and them, strengthening their mind control, it's a vicious cycle. Add the nice designs of the villains, their incredible songs and singing voices, and it's no wonder that everyone is Under Their Spell.
Provided you can control yourself so the magic doesn't overwhelm you
Not "I" in cheating. And God-modders. And to thee I say HIPOCRISY!
Besides, they may have strength, flight and magic, but not as good as a regular unicorn, pegasus or Earth pony, they don't have magic that allows them to "communicate with the ground" as such, weather magic, or the ability to learn that vast a range of spells.
Which makes it even worse.
Because or else it'd be unfair, seriously, Sue or not, she's in trouble otherwise against an alicorn, a filly who is very resourceful and knows a unique brand of black magic, and 2 Blank Wolves.
I was wrong. This isn't glorious. IT's UBER GLORIOUS!
Bullshit.
"DANCE WATER DANCE!" (Sorry, couldn't resist, and seriously, it's like fighting Demyx in KH2.
Oh dear...
*delirious giggle* Sweetie Belle is best pony.
This is gonna be fun!
Da RuleS.
(Well, this was a fun play by play, with Maud and Pinkie playing off each other well, apart from a few spelling mistakes here and there, this felt pretty solid, I've waited patiently for the next installment of the PP4WBVS and it has been fun! I look forward to the next one, in the mean time, this is ShadowLDrago, signing off.)
And so this chapter made it here. I wonder what will happen when readers get to the section where first Shiny and then Big Mac have their little, ah, 'accidents'.
5597084
Looking back at this, I feel we missed out on a get together of Maud, Big Mac, and Shining.
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Which would mean something if this actually were a Star Wars reference. It's not.
This is literally a direct ripoff of Macross. Specifically the ending of the third version of the first side story, Macross Plus: The Movie Plus. On that note, Variable Fighters/Veritech Valkyries are spacegoing ships, despite their name. The VF-21 (the ship Shiny is piloting) makes a self-powered spacefold jump shortly before the events of this clip.
Both of the VF depicted here are, beyond that particular note, also next-generation prototypes, just like (to borrow your mistaken reference), Vader's TIE ln/X Advanced.
They did. The grownups decided to veto their happiness because fuck the CMC I guess.
I'm...not sure most of those situations count as being a mary sue. Mostly just common sense and acting like people instead of fictional characters.
So...PRINCIPAL Celestia just so happened to be carrying holy water?....KAY THAT MAKES TOTAL CHARACTER SENSE FOR HER TO DO.
You are neither.
9724702
Exactly.