This is a work of total fiction, made entirely for entertainment purposes. No money is gained from the production of this prose.
Emmett Brown looked at his screen, eyeing the specs with a critical eye. Everything had to be perfect, or things would become more difficult than necessary. What he was designing was a specialized soundwave manipulator. The beings on the surface of planet Griego (because that's what everyone was calling it) spoke with a wide range of sounds, some of them could not be replicated by human mouths. This device will allow for any human to speak the native's languages without their Combat Suits on, provided they learned the language in the first place.
Studying thesde beings was simply marvelous. They weren't like the Drox, who were all identical and expressionless. These creatures were colorful, expressive, and extremely diverse. Even members of the same species and sub-species could not be more alike.
They were also highly intersting to study. They sent out probes in the beginning, to study them from afar. They watched their interactions, educational institutions, hospitals, and even their leaders. After a while, they needed to become a little more intimate. They began to abduct some natives.
It wasn't as bad as it sounds. After the "recovery" as the higher ups called it, several Doctors would simply take some blood and various other biological samples, do some bio-scans, then the abductee would be sent back.
It was a necessary course of action to understand the natives better, in relation to themselves, and to find out if there were any pathogens that could be harmful to humans.
He couldn't wait to meet them.
Fifteen of the thirty days had already come to pass. Just fifteen days to go, and first contact would be initiated.
The massive conference hall was overrun by thousands of people. Different species from across the globe all gathered in Canterlot to decide how First Contact would be handled. All the major nations were represented. Emperor Tyranus the Great of the Gryphon Empire. Cynder, Elder of the Dragon Clans. President Fortis of the Minotaur Tribes. And, of course, the Princesses of Equestria, Celestia, Luna and Cadence.
There were other species, however, their lack of a nation didn't allow them to have a representitive on the new Council. Instead, they had to make their voices heard through petitions towards whichever nation they happened to be residing in. Unfortunately, there were so many voices that none could come to any agreement as to how to approach the Visitors.
Many hoped to learn from them. There was a scholarly desire to obtain knowledge and friendship from the Extraterrestrials. Others were wary, fearing that such an advanced species might demand something from the native peoples, and might take them through force if necessary. If it came down to it, they might not stand a chance. Others were eager to fight the aliens. The idea of a totally new species to combat was thrilling.
There were even a few who felt that the Aliens should be worshipped.
All in all, it was a very noisy conference hall.
"SILENCE!" Demanded Luna. They were all seated at a circular table. This made it easy for the leaders to speak to each other face to face, and it kept out any influence from their peoples. Every leader looked at each other wearily. They had been meeting up every day since the Aliens made themselves known and they were exhausted. Around the center table were hundreds, maybe thousands, of people. The majority were ponies, of course, but every race was represented. They looked just as haggard.
"We only have fifteen days before these creatures will make themselves known to us. It is of the utmost importance that we present a united front. We cannot allow these creatures to see us as petty isolationists who can't even get along with their neighbors. Have you all made a decision regarding the Planetary Unification Act?" Asked Luna.
The Planetary Unification Act was a proposal that, if passed, would unite every nation on the planet. It would establish a High Council that would include every nation who would then discuss every aspect of politics that would affect the planet as a whole. Countries would not be abolished, but a new Constitution would be drafted that every nation on the planet would have to follow in addition to their own. New money would be printed and minted. That would be the easy part as every country used the Silver Standard for their currency anyway.
There were murmurs of agreement.
"Are you ready to put this down to a vote?" Asked Celestia. There were nods all around the table.
This was a tense moment. If passed, this would be that first time in history that every species on the planet came together to found a Planetary Government. Not only that, but if this did come to pass, then the first acts of this new government would be to have dealings with an Extraterrestrial Species.
"All those in favor?" Questioned Celestia. As she said this, she raised a hoof to the air. Cadence and Luna did not. Regardless of their royal status, each country would only get one vote, as such, Equestria would be represented by Celestia.
To her left, Emperor Tyranus raised a talon.
"Aye." He grumbled.
To his left, Cynder raised a claw.
"Aye."
To her left, President Fortis raised a hand.
"Aye."
"The motion carries." Said Celestia. "I welcome you all to the New World Order." She said with a smile.
The conference room erupted in applause.
Finally, the thirty days were up. It was a bright and sunny day. It gave everyone a little hope for the future.
The members of the High Council all stood shoulder to shoulder at the entrance of the castle. Before them, two lines of armed guards, consisting of every species, stood and cleared a long red carpet. Behind the line of armed guards were citizens of the New World Order, again mostly ponies as they are in Equestria, who waited with bated breath the arrival of these strange creatures.
Celestia nodded to Twilight and the rest of the Elements of Harmony. They wore their elements proudly, as well as fashionable dresses (Rarity's idea). They were all eager for the visitors, but that didn't mean they wouldn't be careful.
No one knew what kind of abilities these creatures had, nor their intentions. They only had their message to go on, and frankly, it wasn't enough.
They had to be prepared for everything.
Please please please update this more,I had enjoyed it so far and would hate to see it die
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The story isn't dying, i'm just putting in on hold while I work on my primary story.
Sometimes, you guys can be so dramatic
Eh, I can wait.
I can't wait for the next chapter!
No comment...
Oh, and BTW:
That was her endgame all along, wasn't it?
the techion is so thick you can cut it with a knife
3251706 I... Just... WHAAA...? You = bad grammar and not know how anything works.
Yeah. Take the distractingly lazy names, combine that with how frequently you mix past and present tenses, add behaviour that feels contrived because of how suddenly it's introduced to the reader and how little time is spent justifying it by showing the psychology that led up to it (the Planetary Unification Act), stir in some typos that even the most basic no-cost spell-checker would catch (eg. representitive), and season with just a pinch of "taking it for granted that readers will care about your OCs"... my verdict remains unchanged from the end of the first chapter and I don't even need to read the third because you've dug too deep a hole for my verdict to change in the future.
Whether I'm evaluating based on "did you subjectively enjoy it?" or "is it objectively good?", you've earned a downvote for inexcusably lazy writing.
EDIT: Sorry for being so grumpy. I'm really tired and the kinds of mistakes you're making are one of my pet peeves. Maybe, if I can find time tomorrow, I'll rewrite this in a less confrontational tone.
8803420
Bah. Now that I realized how tactless that was, this isn't going to let me sleep until I get it out.
I'll leave the original up in the name of honesty, but here's something more appropriate.
The flaws in this story really get under my skin for two reasons:
1. I love first contact stories, so it really gets to me when one turns out so flawed.
2. The unapologetic way in which you knowingly took character names from other stories and what it implies about your attitude toward the story.
That second one is a problem for two reasons of its own:
1. The whole point of a character name is to act as a handle by which a reader can easily recall a bundle of memories. Borrowing names from other stories, when randomizers are so readily available, is like saying "For this story, just because I want to, I've swapped Princess Celestia and Twilight Sparkle's names, but they're otherwise canonical". It's like giving readers who are familiar with the source series the finger and laughing at them.
2. The defining trait of good writing is that it immerses the reader. That is, they get really into it and, ideally, their attention gets drawn away from the words on the page, so they're instead just experiencing a stream of concepts.
That's why things like typos, bad grammar, breaking the fourth wall, reusing character names, etc. are so bad. They cause the reader's mind to slam back into reality as "the train derails", so willingly and intentionally making such mistakes comes across as trolling the reader.
For the names, as I rudely mentioned in my comment on chapter 1, a quick Google search for "random character names" will turn up a whole bunch of randomizers.
As far as the typos go, there are plenty of options for solving that. Google Docs has a spell-checker and is free with no installation required. LibreOffice is free if you want something like Microsoft Office. Both have spell-checking.
For the grammar mistakes, while a beta reader would be ideal, you'll probably want to at least use LanguageTool. It's free and has plugins for Google Docs, LibreOffice, and other things. If you need something for Microsoft Office, try Grammarly.
The Planetary Unification Act is a bit different. The problem is that the way you presented it comes across as a glaring, simplistic case of "They had all this time to do something like this, but didn't until the author needed it."
It really doesn't help that you called it the "Planetary Unification Act" (which implies a single government) first, then clarified later. I'd advise two fixes there.
First, Call it the "Planetary Unity Act". That changes the connotations from "remove the boundaries between their governments" to "present a united front" and makes it sound like they're establishing something similar to the United Nations.
Second, don't rush things so much. Include some scenes before it which show the thought processes and discussions which led to the idea. (Among other reasons, glossing over the initial reactions to "you are not alone" in a first contact fic is like filming an action movie and skipping over the fight scenes.)
Finally, the OCs. I actually didn't mind chapter 1 as much on that front, but the Emmett Brown scene at the beginning of chapter 2 didn't work for me. I'm too tired to put words to exactly what's wrong with it, but it comes across as shallow exposition, wasting time that "should be" spent on things the reader has been primed to care more about (ie. either the MLP cast, Admiral Meia or, with a little more skill, the "humanity as a collective pseudo-character" that worked in chapter 1.)