• Member Since 7th Feb, 2013
  • offline last seen June 14th

Crescent Wrench

The spaz formerly known as Waldo



How did it all begin for Pound and Pumpkin? Let's take a look, shall we...

One Pounded Pumpkin
The Pumpkin's Pounding
Pounds for Pumpkins

Chapters (2)
Comments ( 62 )

Wow that was fast! Nice work, really fleshes it out!

You just pound these out quick, don't ya?

~Skeeter The Lurker

You can bet yer... pumpkin?
Damn it, I don't like this game.

There wasn't anything they couldn't conquer!

I think they took that a little to literally:rainbowlaugh:.Aaaaahhhhh i kill myself,but anyways nice read waldo cant wait to read the 5th chapter of the ,The Pumpkin's Pounding:heart:


Very heart POUNDing story bra


Game...? Oh. OHHHHH. Heh, that was unintentional.

Anyway, this was quite good 1.2k short of 4k.. Which sucks. You won't make feature with it. But, still, good nonetheless.

Now, get back to work on the clop. (Haha)

~Skeeter The Lurker

4k is a requirement?

Side note: hey look, the haters are starting to appear! What do they not like about this one, I wonder...


Yeah. Has to be a minimum of 4k or no feature. You'll get to the PopBox, though.

Also, screw the haters. Just keep up the excellent work.

~Skeeter The Lurker

“So what're you gonna do, Pound, go hide away with your pretty little flowers?” a rather large blue earth pony barked, laughing along with his small gaggle of goons.

You started to type a line, but forgot about it. Delete it.

This is the last day of school, try not to get yourself expelled before the graduation ceremony!

Change the comma to a semicolon. A semicolon is placed between two complete sentences when you don't want less of a pause than what a period gives.

The moon wouldn't be up for a few more hours at the earliest, but the late sunlight bleeding across the forests North-West of Ponyville was absolutely stunning.

The forests northwest of Ponyville. "Northwest" needs no hyphen, and it doesn't need to be capitalized, since you're using the word simply as a direction, rather than using it to refer to a region like "the North" for the northern bit of England or "the South" for the southern bit of the United States.

Once again pulling his wings together, he dropped through the sky, steering himself this way and that with subtle flicks of his wing tips.

I don't think "wingtips" needs a space. "Fingertips" doesn't need a space.

With a quick snap from his wings, he came to a stop a few paces behind Pumpkin, the distance he traversed with a few quick strides of his hooves.

That's a comma splice; rewrite this. You might use "behind Pumpkin, traversing the distance with a few quick strides".

The students were huddled behind the back-drop, ready to trot on to the floor as soon as the teacher called their names.

"Backdrop" doesn't need a hyphen.

“Welcome family, friends and guests, to the Ponyville Graduation Ceremony!”

Place a comma after "welcome". When a character uses a name (in this case, the phrase "family, friends and guests" as a whole) to address another character (or other characters), the name must be offset with a comma—two commas when the name's in the middle of a sentence, as this one is.

A round of cheers erupted through the crowd, raising the confidence of everypony behind the back-drop.

The backdrop.

My cutie mark is f the sky, but my family wants me to run the shop.

Is of the sky.

She could remember how he'd gotten it, it was a relatively simple story.

Change the comma to a semicolon or colon.

“I mean, look at your cutie mark,” Pound continued, going off a tangent by this point.

I think most people use the phrase "going off on a tangent".

Pound muttered something that sounded like, “Sure...” before the both of them heard Mrs Cheerilee cal, them up.

Heard Mrs Cheerilee call them up.

“This day is very important to you two, make sure you remember it!”

Change the comma to a semicolon.

“Today is the day that you go from being children, to being adults!

I'd delete the comma.

What ever tensions they had about graduating were gone.

"Whatever" needs no space.

They were now adults, as far as anypony were concerned!

As far as any pony was concerned.

There gaze didn't break, and they felt the familiar blushes growing on their faces as their respective funny feelings came back to their stomachs.

Their gaze.

One thing I don't like about this is how little content it contains; I don't feel that it "really fleshes it out". It doesn't add much to what we already knew.
Yes, a story must be at least four thousand words long to get into the feature box.

I like this a lot, but I can't help but feel like it sets up the story more for a story where Pound got depression rather than how the twins started to fall in love with each other.

Regarding the "distance he traversed" bit, that's not necessarily a comma splice. If you change it to an indefinite article, it reads the way it was probably intended to.

This sentence has the same form: "Pinkie Pie expressed incredulity at being used in this example sentence, a sentiment echoed by the narrator."

It's not the most elegant construction, but there's nothing wrong with it from a grammatical standpoint.

Dude. You are just banging out pure gold this week. Keep it up.

Not bad, but I don't think you needed this, to be perfectly honest.

Unless... You just want to make it to the feature box again, don't you?

~Skeeter The Lurker

Can you blame him? I'd be going for the hat trick too.


Three for three so far? Why not?

It'd have been funny if ALL three of his stories were in the box, but too late for that.

~Skeeter The Lurker

I can try, right? Lol
But actually, I personally thought that last chapter needed to be there. Kind of brings it full circle

Still, all three either in the featured box or popular box at once? Pretty awesome, lol


Not gonna happen, I'm afraid. One dropped out of it. Still, all three getting there period?

Not something to take lightly. Very well done, regardless.

~Skeeter The Lurker

“What are you nervous about, Pumpkin? You're smart and already have a job with mom and dad. You have nothing to worry about. Me, on the other hand...”

Hand! They have hands! Abandon ship!

That's just me, don't mind the "outburst". ^^

The "on the other hoof" is quite popular in fanfics...

Jesus, you literally own one sixth of my Read Later List with all these Pumpkin and Pound Cake stories. I need to get to reading them tonight...


And this isn't just the fanfictions that say "hand"

Quote the "What My Cutie Mark Is Telling Me" song:

"Could y'all give me a hand here, and help me fix this mess?"

And other various moments in the series that I'm too tired to remember at 1 in the morning. :twilightsmile: So I don't blame the author here. It's just a common slip in the MLP:FiM series to say hand instead of hoof.

I totally forgot about that part in the song... Which is weird, cuz I remember now how I freaked out a bunch when I first heard it! Lol


See, I like pointing out each and every flaw or animation error in any cartoon and then analyzing how they could've avoided it (a bit of a Sheldon Cooper, if you will). Truthfully MLP's has quite a few more than most of the other cartoons I've watched... :trixieshiftleft: :unsuresweetie: This is why I love proofreading stories for little errors that authors miss, such as, "hands." :twilightsmile:

his cutie mark did have absolutely nothing to do with running a bakery.


this is so sweet. the longing for the one you want most. so close yet so far. this is what innocent love really is:applejackunsure:

2792364 will there be a third (not counting this story) installment of this?

Yes, there will be a sequel to The Pumpkin's Pounding

2799347 also will you post a chapter with the link in the last one? (btw i am going to find you, and i will kill you.) *I have a habit of giveing out bone crushing hugs cuting off air and makeing you bleed*

I am confused by your last request: a link to the story I just finished, The Pumpkin's Pounding? Or a link to the fourth in the series here, when it comes out?

2799358 link to the forth in the third? eg: posting a chapter titled "Sequel" and in that a short message and a link it the new story.

I can link it up in the author's notes on the last chapter once I have it up

...I'm the 666th person to view this chapter...ALL SHALL BOW BEFORE MY AMAZING POWERS OF THE SUPERNATURAL. But no I think this is like the fifth time this has happened this week alone...and it's only Monday.

1501-th. reader :yay:-{YAY)

Also good story ^^

Coming from you, thanks :pinkiehappy: That means quite a bit!

And with this, i embark on a new journey!
I have 3- i think -fics ahead of me... insect and all..

A nice little scene setter before the main event, do like.

Your Antagonist

Flipping through the comments and I realized-
You said "insect" and all, instead of "incest" and all.
I find this extremely humorous right now.

Holy fuck I wrote that so long ago.

And I may be a grammar/spelling cunt sometimes but "incest" is just another one of them words that a dyslexic such as I has problems with :rainbowlaugh:

I also find this rather humorous.

Trust me, when it comes to dyslexia, I KNOW THE FEEL BRAH
I couldn't finish All The Right Type until I was in middle school :pinkiesick:

Oh, and I made quite a few mistakes typing this out. You'll never see them, though, mwehehe...

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