Chapter 08
Journal, Capt. & Prince Cnsrt. S. Armor, 1885-07-13:
Day uneventful. New guard rotation a success. Must recommend Sgt. Whatshismane for promotion. Enlistment still below target – start new recruitment drive early?
Cadence acting odd all week. Reading old law-books and giggling, giving guards strange looks. Guards hitting on wife? Must investigate before reassigning them to Sideeria. No idea why, but suspect all Twi's fault somehow; shall enquire in next bi-annual letter home.
Almost out of armor polish. Shall requisition more tomorrow.
If she was honest, Twilight had to admit she’d woken up with worse headaches before. She was certainly no stranger to drinking. In fact, Celestia had once made it a point to teach her about alcohol upon reaching adulthood – both the good aspects, and the bad.
Twilight had never cursed Celestia’s name quite so vehemently, before or since. She’d also most certainly learned her lesson.
This was more akin to getting poked by one of Rarity’s needles, in comparison to what had, at the time, felt like spears stabbing her in the head repeatedly. A good coffee and some breakfast would fix her right up.
That, of course, implied getting up. And right now, she felt way too heavy to do so. She could barely even move, with something pressing against her on both sides. Something warm. Those same somethings seemed to be pinning her wings to the bed, too.
Mild concern poked its way through her sleep-fogged brain, urging her to wake up. Or at least, if not fully wake up, to crack an eye open so she could survey her surroundings. Having said that, it took her longer than she cared to admit to force herself to actually go through with the idea, but eventually, she found herself staring at a ceiling.
It was a familiar ceiling – her own, in fact. She took comfort she was waking up in a place she knew, and not some pony-forsaken wasteland in the middle of nowhere. Not that that had ever happened to her, but she’d heard stories.
The shifting weights on her wings reminded her of her quest for knowledge, and she turned her head to the right to identify what held her down. This was again no easy task, as the sun filtering through the window’s curtains forced her to squint. That, she rationalized, was the reason why she couldn’t say where the golden glow of the sun stopped, and Applejack’s warmer orange glow started. The earth pony was snuggled up against her, stretched out like some big orange tabby, soaking in all the rays of sun she could.
And despite the few strands of mane poking in all directions, and a coat that looked seriously ruffled, Applejack looked glorious.
Once again, Twilight thanked whatever entity she thought could hear her for bringing her and Applejack together. Her contemplations were interrupted by a loud snort behind her, forcing her to face the other direction.
She made a note to figure out which specific entity she’d need to thank, as she contemplated the other glorious sight resting against her.
Rainbow Dash lay curled up against Twilight, her chin resting upon Twilight’s chest, right next to her heart. The pegasus’s wings were draped over Twilight’s stomach, covering them both like a warm blanket. Her hooves had wrapped around Twilight’s midsection, touching Applejack’s own hooves where the earth pony was hugging Twilight as well.
Twilight smiled as she lay her head back onto the pillows, happy to be the filling of an alicorn sandwich. She then cursed her mind seconds later, as the thought of a sandwich woke the terrible, savage beast that lived in the Library’s confines.
She glowered at her stomach, attempting to will it into silence before it woke her marefriends up. But it was in vain, as first Rainbow, then Applejack seemed to stir from their slumber.
“Ugh… anypony got the number of that carriage?” Rainbow groaned as she pushed herself up. Twilight giggled, lifting her head up to nuzzle Dash on the cheek. The pegasus’s eyes flew open, looking momentarily surprised before her features softened into a smile. “Hey, Twi.”
Twilight smiled back, leaning in to peck Rainbow on the lips. “Morning, Rainbow. Sleep well?”
“Like a log.” Rainbow stood up and stretched, her joints creaking as she extended her limbs. Twilight couldn’t help but stare, her mouth falling open as she watched the athlete’s toned body move in ways she wanted to keep watching forever. Rainbow caught her expression and smirked. “Take a picture, it’ll last longer!”
Twilight blushed, momentarily embarrassed at being caught staring before she realized she didn’t need to be. “Why? I’ve got you here, don’t I?” she asked, tweaking Rainbow’s rump with her magic.
Rainbow cackled. “First thing in the morning, Egghead? I knew I liked you for a reason!” She then glanced at the floor. “Whoa, what did we do last night?”
Twilight blinked in surprise, leaning to the side to get her first good look at her room that morning. Her eyes widened as she took in the scene.
On one side stood her dress, draped over one of the room’s lamps. Thankfully, it seemed to be intact, a feat that she realized was quite amazing as more of her memories of the previous day came flooding back in. She made a mental note to give the skate park owner an apology, especially for how she’d turned the path to ice after a while. And maybe some bits for repairs…
On the other side of her room, closer to the door, Rainbow’s dress lay in a pile, evidently hastily flung off by the pegasus. Applejack’s suit was all over the place – not torn to shreds, unlike what Rainbow had promised, but still in every corner of the room. The coat was near the bed, the tie hung off the door, and the shirt was hanging from a shelf.
With a blush, she remembered that she’d helped Rainbow undress Applejack just as vigorously as the pegasus had. They’d barely made it a few steps past the front door before trying to grope at each other, but she’d managed to corral the grabby pair into behaving until they’d stumbled into her room.
And after that… Twilight only needed to look at the red cards strewn all over her floor to know just what they’d been up to the rest of the night. She glanced at Rainbow, holding back a giggle as she noticed one of the cards stuck in Rainbow’s mane. She quietly fished it out with her magic, tossing it aside.
“Consarn it, can’t ya let a pony sleep in?”
Rainbow stared down at her grumbling stomach as she turned back to face the now awake Applejack. “Nope, too hungry.” She flopped onto the farmer, snuggling up to her like a blanket. “Oh man, you’re warm!”
“Mmph,” Applejack grumbled, but made no move to push the pegasus off. She cracked an eye open, smiling as she met Twilight’s gaze. “Mornin’, Sugarcube.”
Twilight bent down to kiss Applejack. “Morning!” With a grin, she flung the curtains open, letting the light pour into her room, and unfortunately, into her eyes. Wincing, she shaded them with a hoof. “Or afternoon. Ow.”
“Warn a pony when ya do that!” Rainbow groaned, burying her muzzle into Applejack’s shoulder. Her enjoyment was short lived as Applejack lifted herself up, the pegasus sliding off and landing face first onto the mattress with a muffled yelp.
“Afternoon?” Applejack groaned. “Shucks, I oughta head back to th’farm.”
“So soon?” Twilight asked, her ears drooping. She fought the grin that threatened to form as she watched Rainbow wrap her forelegs around Applejack’s midsection.
“Noooo, stay,” the pegasus whined. “You’re too soft to go!”
“At least stay for breakfast,” Twilight offered.
Applejack rolled her eyes. “Fine, but I’m cookin’. I don’t trust either of ya near an oven.”
“I think I should feel insulted,” Rainbow said. “Twilight, should I feel insulted?”
“Didn’t you set your cloud on fire?”
“Dangit, Egghead, you’re supposed to back me up here!”
“C’mon, you two.” Applejack shook her head as she stood up, chuckling. “I’m thinkin’ pancakes sound good right now.” She soon found herself flanked by both of her marefriends, who seemed as eager to reach the kitchen as they were to press up against her. Their mood was infectious, and she found herself smiling widely as they stepped into the library’s kitchen.
Rainbow sat at the table, resting her forehead on it. “Coffeeeee,” she moaned into the wood, her eyes screwed shut.
“Are you alright, Rainbow?” Twilight asked, taking a seat on the other side of the table. She leaned over and placed a comforting hoof on the pegasus’s shoulder. “You did drink a lot last night.”
Applejack chortled as she put on her apron. “Serves her right fer knockin’ so many back.”
“Hey!” Rainbow turned her head, her cheek now flat against the table’s surface. “You drank almost as much as I did!”
“We ain’t lightweights, Dash. We can take it.”
“Yeah, you’re definitely a heavyweight.”
“Are you callin’ me fat again?” Applejack asked sweetly, looking over her shoulder at the pegasus.
“Have you seen your flanks, Applebutt?”
“You want these pancakes or not?”
“Shutting up now, Ma’am.”
“Good girl.”
Twilight shook her head in amusement, barely able to keep herself from bursting into giggles. She sobered up quickly, tilting her head to get a better view of Dash’s face. “Seriously, are you okay?”
Rainbow’s eyes met Twilight’s. She grinned, her cheek still pressed against the table. “I’m fine. As long as I get food, coffee, and this.”
Twilight blinked in confusion. “This?”
Rainbow simply waved a hoof in Applejack’s direction. Twilight gaze followed, and stopped to admire the view of Applejack’s rear, as the earth pony leant up against the stove.
“That.” Rainbow nodded.
Twilight giggled, rolling her eyes. “You’re hopeless.”
“You love it, Egghead.” Rainbow paused, turning her head until her chin rested on the table’s surface. “Looks like you need more help than I do.”
“Huh?”
“Your wings are a mess!”
Twilight shifted a wing and gave it a good look. Rainbow wasn’t kidding. Her feathers were a mess, even by her own occasionally lax standards. She’d never grown up with them, and Applejack only had her own directions to follow, which made for an amateurish job at best.
She jumped as she felt a weight settle behind her, turning her head to stare wide eyed at Rainbow. “Relax, lemme do it.”
Applejack glanced behind her upon hearing that, curious to see Dash in action. She thought she did a pretty okay job when she preened Twilight, but figured she could learn a few tricks from seeing a master at work. The sizzle of the pan behind her quickly drew her attention back to the stove.
She focused on her cooking, keeping an eye on the pancakes until they achieved a perfect golden brown color. With the first stack done, she dipped some more batter onto the pan, when her ear twitched.
She’d picked up a strange noise – a startled gasp. She set the batter bowl down, turning back to glance at her marefriends a second time. Rainbow was licking one of Twilight’s primaries, coaxing it into the right shape and position. Twilight, for her part, had closed her eyes. She’d leaned back into Rainbow’s chest, and Applejack could swear that the alicorn’s muzzle looked a little red.
Once again, she turned back to the counter, grabbing a second plate for this stack of pancakes. She’d just flipped them over, the spatula still in her mouth, when a moan interrupted her thoughts. Blinking, she turned to look again.
Needless to say, distracting one’s cook tends to result in meals getting burnt. This time was no exception.
14th of July, 1885 AFE*
Dear Aunt Luna,
I apologize for my lack of letters these past few days. As we both know, running a nation is busy work, and I’ve been absolutely swamped with paperwork and council meetings and this and that. No problems, thankfully, but they can be dreadfully dull.
So you talked with Rainbow Dash? Then you’re more up to date than I am. I haven’t heard anything from Twilight since that first letter, and Aunt Celestia hasn’t mentioned anything either. Maybe, since you plan to talk to Big McIntosh, you might ask him? It could be a good conversation starter.
I also wanted to take my time considering the idea. After a particularly dull meeting, I decided that these old laws may as well be put to use. It’s certainly something to look forward to.
To that effect, I’ve started a list of potential candidates for my harem. I tried to keep track in my head at first, but the benefit and drawback of being surrounded by Palace Guards is that they are all appealing to the eye. I soon had to resort to a physical list.
My efforts drew Shining Armor’s attention. He approached me, curious as to what was going on; in hindsight, I should have known he would notice any odd interaction between me and his guards.
I explained everything. He was surprised by the existence of these laws, but once I answered his questions he was quite supportive of my desire. I assured him these extra duties were well compensated, and entirely up to the individual; no pony would be forced into this.
I also clarified that only we princesses and our consorts – specifically, those who share our rank through marriage – are eligible. He was greatly relieved to know that ‘Prince’ Blueblood thus cannot take advantage of these laws, as was I once he brought that disturbing thought to my attention.
In any case, Shining was fully in support of my plan, and we are now working together to compile the list. I have the best husband ever.
As for the rest of your letter, I cannot say I’ve had the pleasure of meeting this Cheerilee, though I have heard Twilight and her friends mention her occasionally. She seems like a nice pony. I hope you have as much success approaching Big McIntosh as you have with her.
Yours truly,
CadancePS: As for my favorite Wonderbolt, I would have to say Surprise. I love a pony that can make me laugh.
Fluttershy hummed to herself as she trotted past the fence surrounding the Apple family home. It was an absolutely gorgeous day, and the orchard surrounding her felt welcoming and peaceful.
At least, it would have been, if she wasn’t there to ‘clear some varmints’, as Applejack had asked. The farmpony had dropped by the previous afternoon, telling her about the badger hole she’d found in the hill under some of her trees. She was worried the badgers would damage the barks and roots, but their den was too deep for her to try clearing herself.
Fluttershy didn’t always enjoy doing it either. She understood that the animals she spoke with were merely trying to find a home or survive, and Applejack’s orchard was a wonderful place to do so. However, she also understood that the orchard was Applejack’s livelihood, upon which she, her family, and many other ponies in Equestria depended. A few dozen critters, or hundreds, if not thousands of ponies. The choice was easy.
Still, Fluttershy sometimes felt like a landlord evicting tenants from their home.
She paused as she spotted part of the barn’s red wall seemingly moving, before realizing that it was Big McIntosh, his coat almost blending in with the barn’s paint coloring. Letting out a relieved breath, she made her way over to the stallion, who nodded as he noticed her approaching.
“Afternoon,” he rumbled, moving the sprig of grass from one side of his mouth to the other. “Here for them badgers?”
“Hello, Big Mac,” she nodded, turning her head towards the orchard. “Applejack told me about them. Have you seen her?”
The stallion waved a hoof towards a patch of trees. “South fields. Critters are there too. Applejack said they sounded pretty ornery, so be careful.”
“I will, thank you,” Fluttershy reassured him. “They just need a good talking to.”
Big McIntosh looked skeptical, but shrugged and made his way back into the barn. Fluttershy took off, trotting in the direction he’d pointed, realizing after a few minutes she should have asked for better directions. She was about to turn back when her ears twitched, having caught a sound nearby.
As she got closer to it, the noise turned into laughter, which she quickly recognized it as Twilight’s and Applejack’s. Oh, I can ask her instead! She thought, increasing her speed slightly. She noticed the trees clearing up ahead, and figured that the pair were in one of the orchard’s many clearings. As she stepped into it, she stopped in her tracks.
She’d not only found the pair, but Rainbow Dash too. The farmpony was laying on her side, relaxing on a picnic blanket that looked like it had been in the Apple family for generations. Twilight lay on her back, resting her neck against Applejack’s barrel as she listened to Rainbow, who sat next to them, waving her forelegs in the air as she talked.
“So then, one day Dad comes back with a big jar of pure liquid rainbow. Said he figured ‘if it works with ice cream, why not something else?’ “ Rainbow paused in mid sentence to tear a bite off her pie, quickly scarfing it down. “Turns out, he wanted to make a soup out of it.”
“Oh dear Celestia…" Twilight gasped, shaking her head.
“Yeah, that was Mom’s reaction too. She talked him out of it, so instead he used it as sauce for his hay fries,” she said, laughing. “Once he stopped gargling the shower, I swear his mane was shinier than mine. Took a week to go back to normal.”
Applejack guffawed, jolting Twilight as her sides shook. “Lan' sakes, Dash, is your whole dang family a ravin' pack a' loons?”
Rainbow shrugged. “Had to get it from somewhere. But that wasn’t the worst part!”
“There’s more?” Twilight asked, staring in shock.
Movement out of the corner of Fluttershy’s eye cut her eavesdropping short. Focusing on whatever had distracted her, she gasped as she caught sight of a badger cub. With a few flaps of her wings, she approached the young animal, crooning quietly as to not startle it.
“Hello, little one. Are your parents around?” she asked, waiting patiently as the cub chattered a question in return. She forced herself to back a laugh. “Don’t worry, you’re not in trouble. I just want to talk to them about something else.”
Now free of the worries of being scolded, the youngster happily lead Fluttershy to his home. As it turned out, the family had just recently discovered the orchard and claimed it as their territory, unaware that it was owned by the much larger ponies. The male had argued, pointing out that the orchard covered way more land than the pony could live in, not caring when she pointed out the Apple family had lived here for generations. He’d finally given in when Fluttershy had suggested the White Tail Woods a bit further along, with only little haggling to sweeten the deal.
Satisfied she’d done her job with little hassle, she turned back and made her way to the clearing where she’d found her friends. This time, however, her approach was marked by strange sounds. Thumps, grunts, and giggling laughter grew louder as she got closer. She paused, just out of sight, heat rushing to her cheeks as her mind added two and two together.
They aren’t… are they?
She took a step back, eager to leave her friends to their privacy, when she heard Twilight start counting. “One! Two! Three!”
“Give up, cowgirl?” she heard Rainbow ask, slightly out of breath.
“Four!”
“Never!” Applejack growled back. “It… urgh! It ain’t over yet!”
“Five!”
“Come on… A.J.!” Rainbow grunted, ignoring Twilight’s count. “You can’t break out!”
“Seven!”
“Just. You. Wait!” Applejack said, straining each word.
“Eight!”
“Give up!” Rainbow yelled.
“Never!”
“Nine! Ten!” Twilight cheered. “Winner of the Impromptu Iron Pony Wrestling Match. Rainbow Dash!”
“Aww yeah!”
Fluttershy sighed in relief, glad that she hadn’t interrupted anything. Not that she actually had. But she could have. It would’ve been rude.
“You ready for the second round?” Twilight asked, and Fluttershy could swear she heard the smile.
“Huh?” Rainbow panted. “S-second round?”
“Winner takes on the loser and the local princess in a tickle fight!”
“Wait what no no no no–” Rainbow’s cries dissolved into the girliest shriek Fluttershy had ever heard her make. As the other two started giggling, Fluttershy simply smiled and took her leave. Even if they weren’t doing… that, she still didn’t want to interrupt. That just wouldn’t be nice.
As she stepped out of the trees and back onto the barn grounds, she spotted Big McIntosh stepping out of the orchard as well. She trotted up to him with a smile.
He nodded to her as he made his way to the barn, grunting under the weight of the overloaded apple baskets he was carrying. “All done?”
Fluttershy smiled happily. “Yes, they’re going to move to the White Tail Woods tomorrow. They just…"
“Hm?”
“Um. They just want to be escorted there. For safety.” She looked up at Big McIntosh’s face, her ears flat against her head. “Would you?”
“Eeyup.”
“Thank you.” Fluttershy sighed in relief. “I… I also saw Applejack,” she added, and continued when he answered with a raised eyebrow. “She was with Twilight and Rainbow.”
“Havin’ fun?” he asked, smiling as she nodded.
“Yes…" Fluttershy blushed, remembering what she had thought they were doing. “N-not that way, though.”
Big McIntosh snorted in amusement, but nodded again. “She's good fer em.”
Fluttershy tilted her head. “Really? How?” She blushed, realizing how she sounded. “I-I mean, I know she is! I didn’t mean she isn’t! I’m sorry!”
Big McIntosh chuckled, pushing the barn door open with his head. “I know.” He remained silent as he took a few more steps, then bent down and let the baskets slide off his back and onto the ground. He stood back up and looked at Fluttershy.
"They smile more. A.J. 'n Twi both."
Fluttershy blinked. “That’s it?”
“Ain’t that enough?”
Fluttershy turned her head, facing where she knew the trio was as she considered Big McIntosh’s words. As far as he was concerned, Rainbow made Twilight and Applejack happy. That was all there was to it.
It was a simple answer, and perhaps the only one that mattered.
19th of July, 1885 AFE
Dearest Cadance,
Thank you for your letter. I fully understand the desire for a bit of relaxation, so to speak. I’ve had little time myself to expand my list, as, even with Celestia shouldering most of the work, court duties take up much of my time. I cannot imagine how she dealt with it alone for a thousand years.
As I mentioned in an earlier letter, Celestia is aware of my intention. She does not entirely approve, as she’s always been more for single relationships, but she does not oppose my desire to pursue this. She even offered advice, suggesting that I take things slow and not rush. Thus, I will keep Surprise in mind, but I wanted to speak with Big McIntosh and Cheerilee first.
In fact, I had planned to approach him within the next few days, after seeing how well Shining Armor reacted. It is comforting to know that your husband is a wonderful pony, and I will make sure not to approach the guards, or the Wonderbolts, without explaining myself first. And I will take every measure to keep this from reaching Blueblood’s ears.
In any case, as mentioned, I had planned to approach Big McIntosh, but having never truly met him face to face before, I visited Cheerilee once more at her home. I wanted to discuss the best way to talk to him, and open him up to the idea of joining my harem. As per an earlier written request of mine, she had not yet approached him with the idea. I decided it would be of greater benefit to talk with her first.
At least, that was the plan. We ended up discussing the lesson plans she had prepared for the next few months, including history, mathematics, and economics. I have also found that, much like fair Twilight, she is an avid reader. While her personal library could not match Twilight’s, her taste is impeccable. Have you ever heard of the novel ‘Asstec’? It is a piece of historical fiction, describing the life of an Asstec scribe during the height of the empire’s power. I visited Marexico and Veneighzuela during those times, and the writer has masterfully recreated the setting.
We never even reached the topic of Big McIntosh, as we kept leaping from one subject to another. Eventually, Cheerilee could hardly stay awake, and so I took my leave. I truly did not realize I’d forgotten what I visited her for until I’d lowered the moon. I shall have to visit her again.
But enough of me. Have you narrowed down your list to any particular names?
Yours truly,
Luna
Peace and quiet.
These were some of the most important things to have in life, whether during relaxation or during work.
Rarity did not completely shun noise, however. She liked concerts, theatre, and a number of other noisier venues. But she preferred relaxing at home, reading a good book while listening to a record or two.
It was much the same way with her work – she was no stranger to noise, if spending those hours in that Manehatten hotel slaving away at those dresses with her friends was any indication. But on her own, she preferred the relaxing sound of her sewing machine.
The fact that the cutie mark crusaders, along with all the other foals from school, were in the Crystal Empire on a ski trip to the Crystal Mountains was just icing on the cake.
Not that she didn’t love her sister dearly, as well as her two friends. But the fillies had a well-deserved reputation for mischief, mayhem, and massive amounts of noise. And that simply would not do.
Peace. Quiet. And most importantly, no interrup–
“Half of that one was boring as hay!” Rainbow said. “There’s no way it’s the best Daring Do book!”
Rarity sighed as the Boutique’s door swung open. The Cutie Mark Crusaders might be on the other side of Equestria, but the town still had plenty of noisemakers left over.
“It is, and I’ll tell you why,” Twilight exclaimed, pointing a hoof at Rainbow as she, Rainbow, and Applejack stepped into the Boutique’s parlor. “Rosetta Stone!”
Rarity stood blinking. She glanced at Applejack, who rolled her eyes in a way that spoke of a terribly long suffering. “How long?” Rarity asked, whispering.
“Half ‘n hour already,” Applejack whispered back.
“Rosetta?” Rainbow repeated, once she’d stopped laughing. “Seriously? She’s boring and you know it! I fall asleep whenever she gets chapters!”
If Twilight’s eyes had been knives, Rainbow would have been skewered by now. “Boring?! Well excuse me, not every character can be as daring as, er, Daring–”
“Exactly, Egghead!” Rainbow threw her forehooves in the air. “That's what I'm saying!”
"But other characters having a spotlight drives the story forward, and you're left wondering what's happening with the main character – plus, her story helps with Daring's, even if they're not in the same place. Side-stories help deepen the setting!”
“But they're boring!”
Applejack sighed, and pushed her hat up to better shoot a glance at Rarity. “Scuse me a sec, Rares.”
Rarity smiled, stepping back as she got a sense of what was coming. “Of course.”
“Dash!” Applejack barked, raising her voice over the arguing pair. “Who does Darin' bring her stuff to?"
Rainbow blinked as she considered the sudden question. “Er… Rosetta?”
“And does Darin’ usually know how much a piece is worth?”
“Kinda–”
“Or do all the research? Uncover' all that history?”
“No, but–”
A.J. turned to Twilight. “And who finds these trinkets?”
“Daring, but–”
“‘Zactly. Does Rosetta go after them?”
“Rarely, she usually stays back to catalogue all the discoveries–”
“So no flyin'?”
“She's a unicorn–”
“No escapin' traps?”
“No, but–”
“No fighting cats and that Azoot guy?”
"Ahuizotl–"
Applejack glanced back at Rarity and rolled her eyes once again, forcing Rarity to hide a giggle with a hoof. “Dash, just 'cause she ain't Darin’ doesn't mean she's nopony. Darin' wouldn't know what to do with the stuff she brought home. And Twi, even though some background characters probably help out a lot, the books ain't the 'Rosetta Stone Adventures’ fer a good reason. Now, will y’all let me get on with my business?”
“Not a social call, then?” Rarity asked as the chastised ponies nodded sheepishly.
“Nope. Got somethin’ I was hopin’ you could fix. Those two jus’ tagged along ‘cause they were bored and saw me walkin’ past,” Applejack added as the fashionista raised an eyebrow to the pair.
Rarity smirked. “My, you three are practically attached at the hip! Don’t you ever do anything in pairs anymore?”
“Nah, this is more fun,” Rainbow answered, earning a pair of yelps as she swatted both her marefriends’ rumps with a wing. “Now I can keep both wings busy!”
“Rainbow!” Applejack growled, her cheeks tinging red. “Anyway,” she continued, turning back to Rarity. “Big Mac needs this fixed,” she said, unclasping the flap of one of her saddlebags.
With a flourish of magic, Rarity floated the item in question out into the open, eyeing the gash in Big McIntosh’ Ponytones sweater. “How did this happen?”
“He’s getting fat,” Rainbow suggested, ducking the orange hoof swiped at her head.
“Got caught on a nail in his closet,” Applejack explained, glaring at the giggling pegasus. Her eyes slid to the fourth pony in the room. “Twi? You okay, darlin’?”
Twilight snapped out of her reverie. “Hm?”
“Yer jus’ mighty quiet there. You okay?”
Twilight nodded rapidly. “Just thinking about, uh, some projects of mine. Yep.” She frowned as her friends all raised an eyebrow at her. “Really!”
“Alrighty then,” Applejack said, and turned back to Rarity. “Can you fix it?”
“Of course, darling! I’ll have this done in a jiffy. Come back in an hour?”
Applejack smiled. “Will do. Thanks.” She cleared her throat, drawing Rainbow’s attention away from the ball of yarn she was playing with. “Lunch, you two?”
The pegasus nodded, yarn completely forgotten. “Hayburger?”
“Sounds good t’me.”
Rainbow bounced to her hooves. “Last one there pays! Onetwothreego!”
Applejack laughed as Rainbow zoomed away. “Wait up, ya cheatin’ varmint!” She poked Twilight, who was again lost in her thoughts. “You comin’?”
“Huh?”
“Hayburgers. Last one there pays. Dash is already gone.” Applejack pointed a hoof out the door.
“No problem.” Twilight grinned, her horn shining. The next instant, the pair vanished in a purple flash.
Rarity chuckled, shaking her head as she magicked the door closed. She eyed the sweater critically, making note to check her own closet for stray nails; there seemed to be an epidemic of them recently.
As the door swung shut, she could swear she heard the distant cry of a familiar scratchy voice.
“Oh, come on!”
22nd of July, 1885 AFE
Dear Aunt Luna,
I am pleased to hear that your planning is going well. If you want my advice, I think you should discuss the matter with miss Cheerilee some more. Perhaps over dinner, at a nice restaurant? That certainly can help the ideas flowing. And perhaps some music. I’ve also heard candles as lighting helps with creativity.
While I spent a day in the Crystal Mountains with the Ponyville foals, Shining Armor spent the time coming up with a plan to introduce the idea of a harem to the prospective members. We’d settled on a list of two dozen ponies, and in the end decided to perform some interviews with them in Shining’s office.
I opted for honesty – laying out all the facts immediately and clearly. Shining, on the other hoof, felt it was to be more cautious and withhold the true nature of our interest until the end of the interviews, instead introducing it as a special assignment at first. We proceeded with Shining’s method, at least for the first dozen or so interviews.
Let us just say that I won’t regale you with the details here, but the candidates were… less than stellar. They are certainly fine guards, or castle attendants, but they are most certainly not fitting for a harem. Especially the third one
Ignore that; I shouldn’t tell tales. In any case, we tweaked our methods somewhat, and I believe we struck gold: one of our unicorn guards, a mare named Roan d’Arc. I knew I liked her as soon as she stepped into the office, and the next fifteen minutes didn’t dissuade me in the slightest. She is intelligent, funny, and quite a looker too. I know Shining thought the same, despite the professional air he was putting on. I know him too well to not see through that.
So it seems we have our first member. She was initially surprised when we revealed the purpose of this interview, but took it in stride. I do believe we’ll revise our methods before attempting to find any more, however.
Yours truly,
CadencePS: Miss Cheerilee accompanied the Ponyville foals. I took a moment to speak with her. She truly is a lovely pony. Don’t forget to talk to her over dinner! And tell me the results!
“Girls? I’ve been thinking.”
Applejack leaned her head away, instantly missing the warmth of Twilight’s neck. They’d been lying on the top floor balcony of Rainbow Dash’s home, waiting for the sunset. On Twilight’s other side, Applejack could see Rainbow match her movements. The pair stared at the alicorn, sharing a glance with each other at the tone with which the words were spoken.
“Dash?” Applejack asked.
“Yeah?”
“D’you got any parachutes stashed?”
“Next to the anvils.”
“Anvils?” Twilight and Applejack repeated, confused.
“You never know when you’ll need an anvil!”
“Why would you need anvils in a cloud-ho–” Twilight paused and frowned at the giggling pegasus. “Dash! This is serious.”
Applejack’s own chortles immediately stopped. “Somethin’ wrong, Sugar?”
“Well, not really. I’ve just been thinking. About us,” Twilight explained. “About what Rarity said.”
“Ooh boy,” Rainbow groaned theatrically, her grin wilting at the pair of stares pointed her way. “What? Who knows what she filled your head with! Spill it, Egghead.”
Applejack nodded. “Rarity kinda talks a bunch, Twi. Yer gonna have to be a bit more specific.”
Twilight couldn’t help the grin from forming. “You two are terrible. I should tell her how you two talk about her behind her back.” Her expression turned serious once more. “It’s what she said a few days ago.”
“Still a lot–”
“Hush.” Twilight nudged Rainbow, earning a playful eyeroll. “She said we don’t do anything in pairs anymore.”
“Well yeah, ‘cause it’s more fun with the both of you,” Rainbow said. Applejack nodded in agreement. “Why, you don’t think so?”
Twilight shook her head. “I never said that!” She stared at the horizon, watching the sun dip towards the ground. “I love it. I love this. And I love both of you.”
Applejack flicked her tail, laying it above Twilight’s own. “So what’s th’problem?” She glanced back as she felt a weight on her tail, smiling as she saw that Rainbow had had the same idea.
“It’s not a problem, really.” Twilight sighed. “It’s just… this relationship isn’t just about us, you know?”
Rainbow blinked. “Huh? What, it’s about Fluttershy and the others too?”
The alicorn shook her head. “Not what I meant. But… Why Fluttershy specifically?” Twilight grinned. “Still got a thing for her? Should we be worried?”
“N-no! Never!” Rainbow sputtered. “I love you guys! I just–” Rainbow sighed as she noticed the grinning faces. “It was nice, y’know? But I’d never leave you guys hanging.”
“I know. I just couldn’t resist.” Twilight nuzzled Rainbow’s cheek, chasing away the pegasus’s pout. “I meant something else though. Let me put it this way. You guys think this relationship is about all three of us, right?”
“Uh, yeah? I didn't think I was that bad at countin', Twi.”
Twilight rolled her eyes. “Okay, fine, it is about the three of us. But do you know how many variations you can make with three ponies? How many different ways to look at our relationship there are?”
“With eyes and…" Dash twisted her face. “I got nothing.”
“No, I mean in numbers. There’s seven.”
“Seven?” Applejack repeated.
Twilight pointed a hoof at Applejack. “You and me. You and Rainbow.” She pointed the hoof at Rainbow. “Rainbow and Me.”
“That’s three, Egghead.”
Twilight stuck her tongue out at the pegasus. “I wasn’t done. It gets more complex here.” Her horn shone, and three different pairs of cutie marks appeared in the air, each pair in its own little bubble. “If you’re taking two of us as a couple, that leaves the third alone, and you also have to count that. Me alone, Applejack alone, you alone. That makes six.” Beneath each pair a new bubble appeared, containing the missing third cutie mark on its own.
Applejack nodded in comprehension. “An’ the seventh is all three of us t’gether?”
“Exactly. And we know that works just fine,” Twilight said, adding a final bubble with all three marks, then immediately crossing it out. She grinned and opened her wings, settling one on each of her marefriends’ backs. “But what about the rest?”
Rainbow held up a hoof, her brow furrowed. “Wait, hold up. Aren’t those the same thing as the first three?” she asked, pointing a hoof at the three solo marks.
Twilight shooked her head. “Not exactly. Opposite sides of the same coin, really. It’s no good if the couple works out fine but the other pony is left feeling jealous, for instance. I mean, I’d hate being left behind.” Twilight’s eyes widened as the words left her mouth. She quickly pressed on, her magic drawing circles around the three pairs. “But I think these are more important. We essentially have three couples. But we’re so focused on the three of us together that we haven’t really tested that out.”
“We haven’t?” Applejack smirked. “I musta imagined the last eight months, then.”
Twilight leaned in, planting a peck on Applejack’s lips. “Trust me, I know we work,” she purred. “But we haven’t really tried it since Rainbow stepped into the picture. She’s changed things.” She faced Rainbow, kissing the pegasus as well. “In a good way.”
“Well, duh!” Rainbow grinned.
“Still, I think we should do some tests,” Twilight continued, turning back to Applejack. “We should each take Rainbow on a date, one on one, and also take each other on a date. To see if anything’s different.”
“Hey, don’t I get a say in this?” Rainbow asked, raising an eyebrow at her companions.
Twilight’s ears wilted, and Applejack blinked. “Y’don’t wanna do this?”
Rainbow laughed. “Relax, I do. I’m just messing with ya.”
“Oh, good…" Twilight breathed a sigh in relief. She glanced at the farmer. “Uhm, do you mind if I…?”
“Hm?” Applejack glanced at Twilight, then Rainbow, then back at the alicorn. Her lips curled into a smile. “I don’t mind, Sug’.”
Twilight beamed, and nuzzled Applejack’s cheek. “You’re the best.” Smiling, she turned to the pegasus. “Rainbow, do you want to go on a date?”
The words had barely left her mouth before Rainbow’s enveloped hers in a kiss. She leaned into it, savoring the feeling.
“Usually th’kiss is after the date, Dash.”
“Great job ruining the mood, Applebutt!”
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The dates are a minor retcon I'll do on the earlier chapters. Works better~
I don't know weather to feel sorry for Big Mac or be jealous of him.
Welp. I waited a while for this.
I am pleased. Very pleased. The letters skip time quite nicely but you've managed to show their growing relationship in between without losing any of the important details, and you're pushing it along without introducing pointless drama for the sake of conflict.
Whatever comes next, I'm happy to have had this moment.
4329641 They do deserve a break, don't they?
The fact that Shining Armor was cool with sharing his wife kinda took me by surprise, especially after this:
4329715 Guards hitting on her? Immediate reassignment.
Her hitting on others? And in fact, planning threesomes or more? Whole different story!
Shining Armor came around... but then, I suppose he's getting some too.
And I like that they decided on some one-on-one time. Interested to see where the next chapter goes.
Tsk tsk, Twilight. You forgot to count the relationship that's all three of them by themselves.
(And also the one where none of them are involved with anything, but that one doesn't really count.)
Huzzah!!
A plethora of pretty pony pairs and plans
How did AJ lose that?
I would have loved to have the picture of AJ getting tickled.
4330178 AJ has reach, Dash has... flexibility.
4329568
Kinda complicated name: AFE.
How about AE (Anno Equine/Equestria; roughly in the year of the pony, or Equestrian era (slightly more incorrect translation))?
(Yes, I know the politically correct terms here on Earth include BCE, but I'm not a fan of that either.)
ok, It is my imagination or twilight just make it difficult to understand
other than that. I want to know more about Rainbow's parents. uh, when are they going to meet????
The pace was great, and the letters were gold! XD
"My favorite Wonderbolt is Surprise. I love a pony that can make me laugh."
Is that a reference to Who Framed Roger Rabbit?
4330332 Not really, though having just watched the movie today (chapter was written ages ago though), I can see what you mean. It's more that Surprise is essentially a pegasus Pinkie Pie. So she's the funny one.
I love to see updates.
Asstec-Aztec, Ass=Donkey. Aztec is a real book, clever.
I have not gone back to check, but did Dash call Twilight 'Egghead' every single time she named her in dialogue? It felt pretty odd.
I'm enjoying the lack of extraneous drama, for no other sake than to create conflict.
However, this last bit seems like Twilight fixing what isn't broken. All three of them get along just fine and forcing them into separate situations of only pairs may be cute to explore, but the way it's coming about feels too artificially forced. If you want to explore them as pairs for the sake of the story, that's fine, but there's better ways to go about it. They can't possibly all three be together at all times, there are going to be times when each of them is busy leaving only a single pair together. Why not explore those moments instead of contriving this forced experiment?
4331231 Everything must be tested. It's a rule.
4331353
I don't object to Twilight testing these things, in fact that sounds exceptionally adorkable. It's just the way she's presenting this idea of a test to AJ & Dash and somehow they're just going along with it almost without comment. It makes the situation seem forced and unrealistic.
Twilight testing in secret, doing an internal monologue during her time alone with just her & Rainbow, just her & AJ, and even secretly observing AJ & Dash together, that sounds eminently Twilight, especially since, as a good scientist, she'd know that telling your subjects that they're part of a test will inevitably skew the results.
“Now I can keep both wings busy!”
I laughed so hard I could not breath, I was bleeding form the nose I was going so hard!
nice twist.
Roan d'Arc? Oh boy. Hopefully she doesn't have visions of the pony equivalent version of angels, swiftly end a siege in 9 days, and help liberate the Crystal Empire from Equestrian rule before being captured by an Equestrian loyalist group and be unjustly burned at the stake. That would be a rather dark end to an otherwise light hearted romance story.
4332140
Naw. Just a neat name is all.
Ah, a " happy coincidence" then. Jolly good.
4329624
Both is always a good answer. Though he will remain in shape.
Though I wonder if Fluttershy will join the tiro or get swept up in another harem like Cadence or Luna.
I just recently found this story, but I already love it. I can't wait to see what's going to be happening next.
But I predict much difficulty coming from the individual dates. When a triangle is broken down into its individual components, things have a tendency to go blooey.
Just so you know. I had been wondering what AFE stood for the entire chapter long! And then I get the the end and pull a massive facehoof!
I loved this chapter though. The letters! OH DEAR CELESTIA THE LETTERS!!! I WANT MORE LETTERS!!! Okay that could only be me but I loved the letters I found them highly entertaining and fun to read!
Ooooh, let the dating begin!
I gotta quit reading more than one fic with the same theme at the same time. I really couldn't remember which events were from Just a Couple of Ponies and which were from Room for One More...
It didn't help that the two swap which pony is married to Twi and which is the
spareextranewcomer.And I did the same damn thing with TwiDash a few months back.
4332140
No, no. We just needed a name that was a) obviously feminine, b) military, and c) a horse pun.
4332470
The other princesses already agreed that Twilight's friends would be a part of her harem should she decide to form one. At this point, Fluttershy seems to be the next to join.
wow, its been an awful long time since this updated, but thats okay
i dont mind waiting!
well, this is was a very good chapter and im glad i read it! i cant wait till the next chapter and to see how the dates go! i hope they go well :D Im really surprised shining was cool with cadence and this whole harem thing!! i wouldve thought he wouldve been like, not pleased with it!!!
And Rainbow's attitude in this was priceless! i really do hope the next chapter comes soon!!! 
4329789 I approve that.
Anyway, great chapter
Again.
I wasn't sure at first if they did it or not, but they did.
It's nice to see how things are developping. I wonder how the single date with Dash will work.
You can probably guess where she stuck them...
I would like to know about him.
Well, I'm sold! You get an upward facing thumb and a gold star. One thousand points for fully combining the powers of three of my favorite ships into one three mare relationship and introducing me to one ship I never even imagined(Luna-Lee) Kudos to Cadence and Luna for being mean to Blueblood and not letting him be in either of their harems. Kudos to Rarity for her magic mirror, Kudos to Flutters for lip reading, kudos to Dashie for getting wasted at a fancy restaurant, kudos to Shiny for being cool with his wife's harem... Okay that's all! Sorry, this story is just fun.
*Grins* Very fun chapter
Yay, update and a cute chapter!
Also is that image from RatofDrawn by any chance? The style reminds me of his other works.
4344773 It is! He's a good friend of mine.
Strange... I coulda sworn that this story was finished... oh well. I'm still enjoying it. And I still hate you for that.
This story is adorable. I love all the innuendo and keeping it mostly hidden just makes it funnier. I lol'd when Rainbow Dash's parents started talking about a certain kind of sandwich.
I hope this keeps updating.
Awesome dialogue. You balance the physical and emotional aspects of their relationship quite well. It all feels very well balanced.
Enjoying the letters between Luna and Cadence. Story looks great, need more T_T
4330210
Hmm... Calibrations.
I really like that little schtick about Rosetta Stone . I drew some parallels between that and the letters. Not sure if you intended it, but if you did it was well done.
4479774
Not entirely sure what you mean!
4479782
Twilight argued that the side chapters in the Daring Do series that focused on Rosetta Stone helped develop the story. Your letters are doing the same thing. Just a small thing, but I found it humorous.
4481519
Oh, /that/ Rosetta! I'd totally forgotten about her.
...and yes. It was kinda unintentional, but it works just fine.