Mob of The Dead: Aftermath

by Juggernaut

(10) Prepare for Ponyville

Weasel looked at Orion. "I don't know, we're only gonna be here for about 20 minutes, so it won't be too long." Weasel answered, sighing. There was so much waiting in Equestria, and Albert Arlington hated it. Absolutely hated it. Orion also sighed, it was infectious like... Like yawning.

"So are you ABSOLUTELY SURE that you don't have any sick prison tats?" Orion asked again.

"I'm sure, so can you shut the hell up about it?" Weasel asked jokingly.

"Was just wondering... Dick." Orion mumbled, and shot the stupidest grin Al had ever seen. It was also the first time he had heard a cuss word come from a pony, Weasel assumed it was because they were in a royal castle. Not really the appropriate place to swear like a sailor who just found his wife fuckin' a clown.

Weasel sat down on the edge of the bed, and rubbed his temples. His head was starting to hurt, and there was a slight ringing in his hearing. "Hey man, are you okay?" Orion asked, going from a joking tone to a serious tone in a moment. "Are there any weird human diseases that I should know about?"

"It's just a headache," Weasel grumbled. "I guess being ripped out of your own world is a bit much on a person..."

"Yeah, I guess it is." Orion said, jumping up on the bed to get a better look at Weasel. Orion and Weasel had acted like they knew eachother for life, but they had only met about two hours earlier. The two were silent for another few minutes. Weasel's headache slowly went away and the ringing stopped. Weasel sighed, looking down at the floor. "So what was it like where you came from?" Orion asked, with nothing else to say.

Al was sure he had already answered that question before, but decided to humor Orion. "It wasn't pretty Man, lots of crime, murder, theivery, and other stuff like that." Weasel answered, looking at Orion. "There was some good stuff too, not enough to even it out... You go down the wrong street and suddenly you're getting mugged by a gang."

"That's pretty bad, Al. We don't have much crime here, use to, not anymore." Orion said sitting down next to Weasel. Orion was yet again sitting like a dog. Weasel laughed a bit, and proceeded to pet Orion like you would a dog. Orion looked at Weasel with a straight face. "I'm not a dog Al, stop." Orion said, smacking Weasel's hand away from him. Weasel laughed weakly.

"Jeez, I was just petting you," Weasel joked.

"I'm not a dog." Orion said simply.

"Then stop acting like one." Weasel snickered out.

"I don't act like a dog, you're crazy." Orion said with a stupid smile on his face, while taking his back leg and itching behind his ear with it, just like a dog. Weasel and Orion laughed quietly, smiling to each other. This was the start of a beautiful, beautiful bromance. Albert leaned back, smiling. He had finally gotten away from his troubles. Despite the hours of waiting for stuff, it was miles ahead of being scratched and clawed at by the undead.

Weasel stretched out, feeling his knuckles, and shoulders pop. Some of them must have been audible, because Orion looked at Weasel with one eyebrow cocked. "Did you just snap your own neck?" Orion said, laughing.

"It's a human thing, shut up." Weasel joked. Sitting up on the bed.

"Ponies can pop bones too, stupid. I was joking, next thing you know you're gonna be explaining sex to me." Orion joked. "Humans can do... it, right?" Orion asked.

Weasel smirked, and nodded. "So what does a human female exactly look like? Are they hot?" Orion asked, nudging Weasel. Weasel broke out laughing. "What? It's a legit question!" Orion yelled, explaining himself.

"Depends... o- on the individual, really." Weasel managed to get out at the end of his laughing fit.

"Great... now I'm embarrassed." Orion said, pouting like a little baby child, and crossing his front hooves. After about ten seconds Orion had a small grin on his face, as though he just thought up something funny, but contemplated whether or not to say it.

"So... do you think OUR chicks are hot?" Orion asked in possibly the most bro-ish way possible. Weasel gave him a stern look, staring at Orion.

"Well so far the only 'chicks' I've seen here are the princesses, and you." Weasel said, laughing at his own joke.

"Okay, should ha've seen that coming..." Orion grumbled to himself. "Just answer the question, smartass." He spoke up. Giving a slightly annoyed look straight to Albert.

"Not really, I mean as a human, why would I be attracted to a pony? It's just absurd" Weasel said, looking very sternly right at the reader.

"O..K..?" Orion said, not knowing where Weasel was staring. Waving his hoof in front of Weasel's face. Weasel blinked and turned back to Orion.

"Well there goes the option of you being my wing-man, and as thanks, you could have sloppy secon-"

"Woah there, Orion, I'm alien to them, there's no way they'd do that." Weasel interrupted.

"Oh but you're wrong, there was a cartoon about humanity a few years back that got very 'adult' attention by both stallions and mares alike! There are hundreds of mares that would LOVE to get their kink on with you! There's no way you're gonna avoid it, at one point or another, a mare is gonna try to bang you." Orion laughed. Weasel looked horrified.

"I... uh, I guess I'll just send 'em your way." Weasel joked, while he smiled to Orion.

"Hell yes," Orion grumbled. "I'm just days away from being the KING OF BITCHES!" He said, jumping up on the bed, pumping his hoof into the air.

"Ok, settle down." Weasel said in a hush, as clip-clops became audible from the stairway.

There was a knock at the door, then another, and then another. Celestia peeked in. "Get moving!" She ordered, in hushed panic.
"The guards will be all over this place in the next few minutes, we need to go now!"

Weasel nodded, and stood up, following Celestia down the stairs. All that was left was Orion sitting on the edge of the bed, muttering to himself about being the "Future king of bitches." He looked up to see that the others were both gone. "damn, I should probably stop fantasizing," He muttered, before hopping off the bed, and sprinting out.

Comments

[LightningDash NLR]

My Little People is confirmed....LOL thumbs up to that!

[Fre3doM]

Much win.

[The Spy of the Tiger]

"I'm sure, so can you shit the hell up about it?"

Guys, we need to shit the hell up.

But seriously, fix that typo.

[Juggernaut]

4258351 Oops-see-daisy.

[Juggernaut]

4258351 Fixed. Thanks.

[Juggernaut]

4358620 Sure, why not, link me your channel, I'd love to check it out.

[dukesofhazzardftw]

4258351 umm is glados still there? i dropped my phone by the laser

[The Spy of the Tiger]

4540269
Where else would I be? That bird was annoying and almost took control over this facility, but luckily I had a few killing machines to take care of that evil little God forsaken bird.

[dukesofhazzardftw]

4541180 Thank goodnes, GLaDOS, would you please mail it to me? It is in test chamber 28.

[The Spy of the Tiger]

4546812
Sorry, but some moron broke it thinking it would help him hack things.

[dukesofhazzardftw]

4550774 oh my god... WHEATLEY WILL PAY 500$ OR something like this.

[The Spy of the Tiger]

4556366
Sorry, he is (spoiler for portal 2) stranded in space.