5. Euphrosene Unchained
Lost In The Herd: Two
Euphrosyne
Unchained
By Chatoyance
Chapter Five: Euphrosyne Unchained
The Royal Equestrian carriage tilted as it was pulled into a shallow dive to port. The four expert pegasai pulling the carriage were well practiced as a team, and did not need the human-tech transceivers in their helmets to coordinate the maneuver. Instinctively, as one, they leveled out, their wings working furiously to keep the carriage as steady as possible, under the circumstances.
Somewhere ahead, the glowing tail of the poorly aimed anti-air missile shrank into the distance ahead, a horizon dominated by the impossibly vast curve of the great Barrier that separated the impossible, magical realm of Equestria from the cold, hardened world of Man. The Barrier split the sky, a bright, opalescent half-sphere thousands of miles across, reaching above the atmosphere, touching space itself.
The air was cold and roared past the grand carriage with its pegasai, the stars gleaming in the early evening. Ahead, inside the surreal dome that protected Equestria, shone day, bright and green and warm. The brilliant light from that land, from the world within the barrier, illuminated the sea, thousands of feet below, painting the grey, poisoned Pacific with shimmering sparkles which faded with the miles into black night, far behind.
Alyssa-the-pony struggled to extricate her haunches from the pile of unconscious ponies, supplies, and human doctor that had all slid to the left of the car-sized open-air carriage during the sudden dive. When the polished, wooden floorboards had begun to tilt, Alyssa had tried to reach out with her hands to grab something, realizing almost immediately that she no longer had hands, but hooves. Her new limbs scraped uselessly on the smooth carriage floor, and she found herself sliding with her two former roommates, the still-unconscious Chloe and Ella, into poor Dr. Pastern. They had piled up against the left wall of the carriage, but thankfully, nopony had been lost.
"They're SHOOTING at us?" Alyssa screamed against the constant wail of the bitter wind "What WAS that? What are we going to DO? What are we going to DO?" Her hooves beat uselessly against the carriage floor.
Dr. Pastern struggled to get her wind back, the impact of one of Alyssa's hooves having caught her in the diaphragm. Breathing again, she automatically checked to make sure that her medical kit and the 'Potion' storage unit were safe. She shifted around the unconscious bodies of Ella-the-Pegasus and Chloe-The-Earth-Pony, and thought silently that perhaps sedating them had been a good idea after all. She briefly imagined having being kicked in the head by three panicking equinoids, rather than merely in the diaphragm by one.
"Alyssa! ALYSSA!" Dr. Pastern finally managed to get the poor newfoal settled enough to lay still. Pastern put her head close to Alyssa's so that she wouldn't have to shout. "Listen, listen... we're going to be alright. Those pegasai up there are Celestia's very, very best. They can outfly the wind itself. It's going to be OK. You need to remain calm, alright Alyssa?"
Pastern didn't really believe all of her own words, but she needed to get the situation under control, any way she could.
Alyssa tried to calm down. The carriage was flying steadily now, level, and she could no longer hear whatever it was (rocket? missile?) that had shrieked past them. Something in her, something new, powerfully compelled her to trust, and she found herself involuntarily relaxing against the legs of Dr. Pastern, and the piled bodies of Chloe and Ella. That was strange. She would never have been capable of such a thing back when she was an ape. The way she phrased that made her giggle. Ook-Ook. Hee!
Dr. Pastern noted the sudden change in newfoal Alyssa. She had seen such things before, in the past years of assisting Conversions. Newfoals seemed to universally be able to let go of fear and pain much better than human beings could. She always envied that, when she saw it happen. She wondered what it felt like.
"Alyssa, I need your help." Dr. Pastern was very serious now, and Alyssa's ears swiveled to follow her immediate attention. "Alyssa, this carriage is going to be passing through the Barrier soon, at full speed." Pastern paused to see if the newfoal understood.
"Doctor... you're not... you're human. Nothing human can pass the barrier. You'll be..." an image of a tomato hitting a windshield passed briefly through Alyssa's pony mind, the closest it could now come to the image it would have generated for her but half a day ago "Can't we land, let you off, isn't..." her voice trailed off.
"We're over the ocean, Alyssa. A thousand feet up. There's a chopper chasing us." Pastern said, softly. "There is only one thing I can do. But..." Pastern seemed worried "It isn't going to be fun."
"What? What can we do? I'll help you. Whatever you need me to do!" Alyssa felt a rush of empathy, of compassion, the like of which she had never experienced before. It shocked some deep, buried part of her. In this moment, she would willingly die for Dr. Pastern, a woman she had known all of three days. She was sure that she would not have felt quite so keenly for the life of a stranger... before.
"I can become a pony." Pastern wrestled with the bright red storage unit "This contains the ponification serum. But there's a problem. No anesthesia. We add it according to body weight and allergic history for each patient. I can't do that for myself."
"But your medical kit! Surely there's some..."
"No. Nothing that would do the job. I'll have to do this awake, and I have to do it now. It may already be too late. I waited too long."
"What?" Alyssa was incredulous "Why? You said it had been five hours since we left? Why didn't you..."
"These." Pastern held out her hands in front of her, fingers splayed wide. "I had to keep a certain pony breathing, remember?"
Suddenly it struck Alyssa. Dr. Pastern wasn't supposed to be here. She had leapt onto the carriage, probably as it was leaving, because she couldn't abandon a critical patient. She'd been forced to sedate the three newfoals, even though it was dangerous to do so. "Why... why did you wait until I finally woke up?"
"I had to be sure that you would." The matter of fact answer hit Alyssa like a stone.
"Take it! Take it now!" Alyssa was almost yelling "Hurry up! Do It! I'll be here for you! Just tell me what to do!"
"It's going to hurt, Alyssa." Dr. Pastern seemed pale "I will probably make a bit of a... fuss." The doctor looked away as she spoke "I really need you to stay calm and in control, even if we are shot at again. I need you to keep me from falling out, if you can, if there is any... turbulence. And... I need you to be very brave, whatever happens. Can you do that for me?" The doctor turned her head back and looked deeply into Alyssa's huge, wide eyes.
"I will." Alyssa heard a confidence and resolve in her own voice that quite astonished her.
"Thank you, Alyssa." Pastern opened the red case, inside was the stoppered Erlenmeyer, only a quarter filled with the swirling, purple goo. The carriage rocked suddenly, and for a moment the doctor and Alyssa shared worried eyes, but then relaxed when nothing further happened.
Alyssa watched as Dr. Pastern carefully opened the flask. She barely heard the faint prayer from the doctor's lips "please....Celestia.." Then Pastern took a swig from the flask, and instantly closed it, scrambling to secure the bottle within the red case before...
Pastern reared back, smacking her head against the carriage wall, her spine curving away from Alyssa. The doctor gasped, trying to breath, a faint cry coming from her agonized throat. Her body slid to the side until she was lying on the carriage floor. Alyssa could smell her grape-tinged breath as Pastern briefly choked.
Alyssa pressed close to Dr. Pastern, squeezing in close to her, to hold her still while she thrashed. Pastern's eyes rolled wildly, in opposite directions, as they swelled within her enlarging cranium. Her fingers, so recently splayed, had already fused together, melting like hot wax into squirming blobs.
Suddenly the carriage sharply banked to the right. Ponies, cases and the thing that was Dr. Pastern slid across the polished wood to slam into the opposite wall. Something bright and infinitely loud streaked by overhead and to the left. The brief flash of its passing temporarily blinded Alyssa, and she could hear nothing for some time from the roar.
When she could see clearly again, Dr. Pastern had changed shape radically, and her pulsing, oozing mass was beginning to rip her clothing "That's why they have us undress!" Alyssa suddenly realized that human clothing could strangle a pony, the neck was simply too small, the arms and legs too thin. She squirmed over Pastern's contorting form and began savagely biting at the doctor's neckline. The material was artificial, and very strong.
Alyssa braced a hoof and pulled and shook with all of her might. The fabric finally tore, and she continued to shred it until the neckline was a ragged, open space. As she did so, the forming neck of a pony filled that space even as she made it wider.
But the legs and arms were another matter. She couldn't get the right angle to tear the fabric. She couldn't figure out how to tear open the pants. Dr. Pastern's pony legs were inflating around the cuffs formed by the limits of human fashion, and the waxy, wriggling flesh began to rapidly turn purple where it could be seen.
This was terrible! Fear overwhelmed Alyssa's mind. She had to help. She had to save Dr. Pastern. She bit and pulled and shook her head like a dog worrying a bone, but the fabric wouldn't tear.
"aaaHHHHHHHHH!!!!" Alyssa screamed into the wind, half crazed with her own helplessness "WHY WON'T THIS COME OFF?"
A strange feeling transfixed her, like a spear through her forehead. It felt like all of her will had somehow coalesced into solidity, and she saw the struggling shape of what once was Dr. Pastern illuminated in the night by a strange, blue-green light. Inside, Alyssa felt like she was holding some kind of... storm... in her mind, and in anger she spat that feeling into those damned artificial fabric clothes.
Dr. Pastern's pants exploded. The material shredded like a burst balloon. With it was the last of the doctor's blouse and coat. Her shoes, stifling her forming, blobby hooves, detonated with an burst audible over the shrieking wind. The increasingly healthy looking, pony-shaped lump squirmed as it drew itself together, golden hairs bursting out from the skin.
Spaghetti strands of brown mane and tail spooled out onto the wood planks as the mysterious turquoise light faded. Alyssa collapsed, her head flat on the boards, inches from Pony-Pastern's flank. It was then, for the first time, that Alyssa finally noticed the short horn right in the middle of her forehead, as it unintentionally prodded Pastern's quivering leg. "Sorry." Alyssa mumbled as she scooted back, as best she could. She was too grateful to fuss.
Something was hissing and barking from a ragged piece of white cloth to Alyssa's left. It was one of the pockets from Dr. Pastern's lab coat. Inside, something square and flat was making the noise. Alyssa bit at the cloth and the set fell out. She swiveled her neck and tried to take the device with her lips. It slipped out, onto the boards, but something she had done had triggered it. The voice was new, and sounded as if it were yelling against a great wind "...said penetration imminent! Any minute now! Doctor Pastern, respond!" The voice kept repeating variations on this as Alyssa stared at it.
It was getting surprisingly light out. The stars were still overhead, but daylight was shining off the back of the carriage. The Barrier! The great Shield of Equestria! That must have been Nimbus, the lead pegasus of the crew pulling them through the sky. They were nearly home!
Home. Equestria was home. Alyssa savored the feeling. Home.
Alyssa turned to look at doctor Pastern. She was nearly complete. Her eyelids still hadn't unsealed from the skin of her head, but her golden hide shone in the increasing light, and her soft brown mane fluttered in the breeze. Surely she was pony enough now to survive passage through the barrier. Alyssa saw, in the brightening light, wings, beautiful and golden like the doctor's flanks. Alyssa didn't feel jealous, only happy. Pony Pastern's wings and body shone like morning, and Alyssa found herself laughing with delight. It was just so pretty!
It sounded like gravel rapidly hitting the wood rear of the chariot. PAK-PAK-TAK-PAK Alyssa scrambled up, hooves skittering on the floorboards. She knew that sound, from countless media, the sound of bullets impacting. Alyssa threw herself over the now blissfully insensate golden pegasus, trying to cover as much of it with her own body as she could. Pressed close behind Pastern, crushed into the corner, Ella and Chloe remained oblivious, a pile of unconscious hoof and mane.
Somewhere behind, in the dark to the rear, the 'angry bird', almost certainly a stolen military chopper, had reached a range where mechanized guns were worth using. The light from the front of the chariot was so bright, and glancing back at it, Alyssa saw an impossible, shimmering wall that stretched from one infinity to another, a dome as large as a continent, within which full daylight argued with the night beyond.
Alyssa swung her head back towards the rear, as if by looking, she could somehow defy the chasing threat. The light was very bright inside the chariot now, as she saw the black and gray shape of an Americorp Backstabber MKIII Assault Copter rise up above the brass-railed wooden lip. Inside, she could almost see, with her new, better eyes, the shape of a lone pilot. Did she imagine him grimacing as he took aim?
A pleasurable shiver rippled over her, and instantly the bitter air was springtime. A shimmering wall fell away, gleaming as it receded behind the chariot. In the full, warm sunlight of open day the Assault Copter burst through the wall, the tail end shattering as a pink mist appeared behind it, on the other side of the opalescent shield.
They were descending, rapidly, and Alyssa watched the broken copter fall, the pieces tumbling, end over end. As they fell, they began to change, affected by some strange magic, separating into shards, the shards turning from black and gray to brilliant colors, and Alyssa was astonished to see that they had become flower petals, drifting and fluttering in the sky like delicious confetti.
She couldn't help but laugh, it was so absurd, so whimsical, and such a relief. The danger was gone - all danger was gone, forever, for the rest of her days. Her laughing turned to giggles, somewhat hysteric, and then to sobs. That poor man. That poor, poor man.
* * * * *
Petal Confetti trotted merrily down the soft, dirt path that ran through the middle of her small village. Clydesdale was a farming community that specialized in hay, alfalfa, and -of all things- basil. The town had recently won an award for 'Most Flavorful Feed', which had been presented by the great stallion chef Al Dente himself, and the plaque had been hung over the oat barrels at the general store.
This was a matter of great excitement in such a small village, and Petal knew exactly what needed to be done. She swung her bright pink tail across her aquamarine flanks, keeping time to her own rhythmic gait. Across her back were slung two large saddlebags, filled to bursting with balloons, streamers, boxes of candies, little cakes and other treats, and of course, a great heavy jug of her own special punch.
She had many friends in Clydesdale, and they greeted her as she passed. She tossed her curly pink mane at Flapjack, a stallion that she knew had an eye on her. She paused to compliment Sweetpastry's new straw hat. The bow had become undone on it, so she used her horn and willed the ribbon to tie itself neatly. Petal loved helping with little things like that.
Sweetpastry smiled at her, and brushed against her flank in thanks, as Petal trotted on.
The town doctor was flying overhead, golden and magnificent. She was still called doctor Pastern, the name just didn't seem to need to be changed. Petal smiled up at her longtime friend. They shared a special bond, begun in strife, perhaps, but grown strong over time through mutual kindness. She would see her later, when everyone would come together, thanks to her special gift.
In all of Clydesdale, no one put on a party like the ever-so-giggily Petal Confetti.
The End
The Lost In The Herd Series:
One: The Big Respawn,
Two: Euphrosyne Unchained,
Three: Letters From Home,
Four: Teacup, Down On The Farm
The Conversion Bureau Novels:
27 Ounces: A story of eight and one half ponies
The Taste Of Grass
The Conversion Bureau: Code Majeste
The Conversion Bureau: The 800 Year Promise
The Conversion Bureau: Going Pony
The Reasonably Adamant Down With Celestia Newfoal Society!
Recombinant 63: A Conversion Bureau Story
HUMAN in Equestria: A Conversion Bureau Story
The PER: Michelson and Morely
Little Blue Cat
Cross The Amazon
Adrift Off Fiddler's Green: The Final Conversion Bureau Story
The Short Stories:
Her Last Possession
The Conversion Bureau: PER Equitum
The Conversion Bureau: Brand New Universe
Tales Of Los Pegasus
The Poly Little Pony
The very first and original
Conversion Bureau Group
archives only the best Three Rules Compatible stories!
Optimalverse Works:
Friendship Is Optimal: Caelum Est Conterrens
Leftovers: A Friendship Is Optimal Story
IMPLACABLE
My Life In Fimbria
Injectorverse Works:
I.D. - That Indestructible Something
The More Conventional Fanfics:
The Ice Cream Pony Summer
Around The Bend
PRIDE related works:
Transspecieality
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The story is now complete. I so loved writing it.
9839
*Hugs*
I enjoyed the story and think it's pretty good. Well written and all, but if I existed in this universe I would honestly be one of the resistance. And I have enough pride for the human race to slam my fist on the button that would fire the hyperthermonuclear missile.
No offense though
As I stated in the comments to The Big Respawn, I died a bit inside, but this time it wasn't bad...There's really no way to describe it.
Anywho, keep writing awesome stuff like this.
10472
I die a little inside too, and the way you stated that, Orpheus, made me think about why your comment resonated with me.
To me, the Ponyverse (I guess that name will do, more or less) is kind of hurty. There are qualities about it that burn and sting some deep part of me, the part that was once an innocent, happy child who knew nothing of sickness, war, poverty or mortality. It evokes a state of mind where I once imagined that the world was essentially good, that the hearts of men were not driven by greed, power and domination, but by kindness, cooperation, and the wellbeing of all. I know, all to well, that the world is not nice at all, and I have lost all hope that the human species will survive its own sociopathological bent. Worse, I have seen just how unfriendly the very physics of our universe is; it is incredible that the machinery of life managed to arise at all.
What I get from MLP:Fim is yearning. Yearning for a non-crapsack universe, and a non-evil species to be a part of. I am driven to explore the notion in my mind because it is just do damn tasty, but at the same time it burns, my how it burns. I suppose that frisson is driving me now.
Playing with the concept of a bright, floral universe of creatures fundamentally wired, and physiologically constructed to assist each other, where the very physics of nature itself demands engagement and mutual cooperation just tickles me deep, even while it hurts.
I don't know if it is a form of almost religious ecstasy, or some kind of twisted masochism. Then again, when have those two ever been separate?
That's my rambling take on this crap.
All my internets. This is, as I've said elsewhere, "humans are bastards" done right. There's very little else I can say about it; brilliantly executed, told the story, had suspense, grew the characters, showed us the world and painted the picture. I loved it.
Hmmm, so she inherited Pinkie's love for parties?
Also, her color makes her look like Mrs. Cake.
DISCLAIMER: I've only read The Big Respawn, not this or any other of your stories here. I just want to respond to some things I've seen in the comments.
I lack the eloquence of Jean Luc Picard, but I want to remind everyone that humans can accomplish wonders in peace and brotherhood: Disaster response. Space exploration. Universal Rights. The freaking Internet. The Arts. Our luminaries shine so brightly precisely because of the darkness surrounding (and within) us. Take away our darkness, and you take away our ability to be like Mohandas Gandhi, Harvey Milk, Martin Luther King Jr., Shakespeare, Margaret Atwood. Up until a few months ago at most, a shining, peaceful, and prosperous future was within our unaided abilities. (We've recently passed the point of Runaway Greenhouse Effect, which severely limits our future prospects.)
And now I'm going to undermine my own argument by pointing out its major flaw! (Yes, I think there's only one, but it's a doozy.)
Without our darkness, there isn't any call for our exemplars. Perhaps our Arts, strength of Brotherhood, and Technology wouldn't be as driven, but Universal Rights would be a default. No need for Gandhi without British Imperialism, no need for Milk or MLK without discrimination.
I never thought I'd come here, in the mlp part of the internet.
Surrounded by this new phenomenon I recognize something old and familiar.
A vision of a friendlier world. I had those as a child.
I have to say, it makes me sad that you have such a dim view of humanity, the human condition and our future.
Hmm. And so I read it again (third time). Perhaps I need to read Teacup, Down on the Farm again, so as to try to glean any more information about what Pastern did after she moved to Equestria, moved away from Clydesdale, before moving on to The Taste of Grass. (I'm having fun with this, like a parasite, leaching off of your stories. Or could it perhaps be more of a symbiotic relationship... Are you getting anything at all from my high number of posts?)
It is good to see Pastern finally get her due. After three years (If I remember, in Petal's flashback, it was around two years after the emergence of Equestria that the bureaus were started, which would place 27 Ounces approximately 2.5 years before this story.), I should think that Pastern was more than deserving to finally become a pony.
And to have to endure it without anesthesia, too! A final sacrifice on her part, one most befitting -- to endure some of the pain she was forced to inflict. That being said, I can't help but wonder if she dreamed. The way you phrased her conversation with Petal makes it seem as though that should be very important to her -- and it should, to really be forgiven, to have that precious exchange with her princesses. But, to not be put out, to be writhing in such agony, it makes me wonder as to whether it is even possible to achieve such a state.
My Derp moment of the day: thinking none of Chatoyance's stories had the mane 6 in them. I really need to look at the character tags more... although this makes a certain victory for mankind even more horrific... oh well
Awesome story! Thoroughly enjoyed it.
You know as I make my way through these conversion bureau stories I find myself shifting from one extreme to another. At first I tried to defend humanity, but now I find that this is an impossible task due to there actions and behavior. The only thing I'm glad about is that this is a work of fiction. If I had to deal with this for real I think I'd lose it.
704694
You do understand that my portrayal of humanity is based on both historical circumstances and current events happening right now in the real world, right? Humans do these things. A lot. Whether it is the fanatical gunman at the Planned Parenthood (or the crazy gunman at a McDonald's, or a Walmart), or the everyday slaughter between the Catholics and the Protestants in Ireland, or... well, the list is literally endless, because more happens every fifteen seconds, somewhere.
The Bureaus in CB stories actually get attacked less than they likely would in real life. It would be just too grim to be... actually realistic.
759624
I kinda figured that was your opinion on humanity given the nature of your stories, and for that I pity you. Especially since these so called stories are greatly exagerated. Besides the Equestrians are hardly saintly themselves. Especially in the universe that you have constructed.
759680
I pity me for knowing reality. Fantasy is so comforting. It was much nicer when I was twenty-something and didn't know crap about the world, and I didn't comprehend the scope of what goes on. But with the decades comes education and observation, experience and facts that cannot be ignored.
Which is precisely why I portray humanity as better than it really is in all of my stories. I grew up on old school, golden age science fiction, where Humanity was destined for the stars, and deep down, Mankind was noble and good. I put that into every story I write, that better vision of humanity, because despite factual reality all around me, deep down I still want to believe those old notions.
Oh, and don't confuse MY Equestria with the Equestria from the cartoon. My works are all Equestria Prime, they are Perfect, Beautiful, Friendship Equestria, and not a speck of the mean stuff in season two. Please try to remember that as you read my works. I write an Equestria that would be worthy of an afterlife, of a heaven, and I do it deliberately and consciously. It's an essential component in my art.
761334
You know your one of the most nonsensical people I've ever conversed with. Frankly I'm not sure what to make of you. Except for the fact I think your misanthropic and you have a very cynical outlook. Considering the fact that everything I have seen seems to indicate otherwise. I mean yes things like that happen, but they are both usually exagerated and isolated your confusing events for non events. Think of all the times things like that haven't happened rather than the few times they have. All in all you have a very scewed vision of reality if you think that the humans especially in your 27 ounces story are so much more nobler than real humans. The inner world of your mind must be a very terrifing place.
Than there is your protrayal of Equestria. As far as I'm concerned they are lesser than the canon ponies. Especially come off as condesending, holier than thy people, and if there supposed to be perfect. Than why is it your own literature contradicts this especially in Letters from Home. As far as I'm concerned the Equestria of your world is worse than the canon Equestria.
Well I guess thats all I got to say. Just to let know I don't bear you any malice and I still feel pity for you because you view humanity so negatively its so sad that you have such a scewed vision of it. I hope some day you will get over this.
Though I will say this I do like your stories don't get me wrong even if I don't agree with you on certain things. Still I would like to write my own story in your universe if your alright with that.
761858
Yes, actually, the sorts of things I mention do, in fact, happen every day. Oh, they don't happen to any one person every day. But they happen, every day, to somebody, somewhere.
Right now, over one hundred armed conflicts and wars are going on, most fought by underage children taken from their parents by force. Not in our comfortable McMansions of the First World, where we eat Doritos and sip Mountain Dew and play with our computers. But these conflicts are inspired by our lifestyles, make no mistake.
Every day, most of humanity starves. We could feed them, the food to feed everyone is grown where most live. But it is shipped away, so that the few, us, can have very fancy supermarkets, instead of just markets. I'm not complaining, I like being among the wealthiest people on earth (and I do not mean that I am wealthy, I mean that living in the first world is automatically wealth, compared to the majority of the planet) and being able to have tomatoes in the winter. Hey, it's great! But the fact is, that means others don't get their food.
And on, and on. Google. Learn. Understand. I am not just some dark-clothes emo here, Tristem. You just don't have a clue about the planet you live on.
763039
Lets just agree to disagree. Its odvious we're not going to convince each other of anything. I acknowlege that there are problems in this world. I am not naive. Although I still think its greatly exagerated. Still I don't see much point in dwelling on it especially since theres not really much I can do about it Chatoyance. That and this time period is one of the best ever. There are plenty worse times than this the middle ages spring to mind. I hope you can understand were I'm coming from. For I do understand what you are trying to tell me in a way. Although I fear this was not the answer you were hoping for its the only one I have.
Still in a way what you say is true humanity does have plenty of room for improvement, but I can't help but feel that you dwell on this too much for your own good. Though I wish to ask you one thing how old do you think I am?
1544755 "I still have to wonder what if anything humanity tried against the barrier."
I have referenced this in many of my stories, basically everything the world had except one item, a true doomsday weapon called a hypernuclear device. They stopped at that. For three days, Mankind made the ocean boil with every weapon both ground and space based used against the Equestrian Shield. Then, after that, Celestia made a little 'demonstration', small, personal, and absolute. There were rapid negotiations behind the scenes. The leaders of the worldgovernment immediately decided as one to work on her plan to use nanotech with thaumatic energy to invent the first ponification serum.
I had planned to do this story in great detail. It was on my list.
1544933 "magical radiation only seemed to destroy primate cells."
The reason for this is strongly implied and effectively answered in my novel 'The 800 Year Promise'. Let's just say, for clarification, that primate cells are the only cells Celestia ever fully and truly 'scanned' during her observation of our strange universe, and that she owes someone a big, big favor, and that as an omnibenevolent immortal entity, she always keeps her promises. It all may seem very odd, but from her immortal and godlike perspective, she is doing absolute good.
I'm sorry deary, but not only was he trying to kill you and your friends, he was also either unskilled enough, or perhaps too foolish enough, to not turn back.
Don't feel sorry for him. Pity, maybe, but don't feel sorry.
Dear Twilight, while it seems added dna from an Equestrian cannot ensure a human becomes a specific type of pony, it can add personality traits of the aforementioned Equestrian. This information should be retained, and any further such incidents carefully watched and documented to ensure there are no adverse effects of such an addition to the Serum.
9963
Make sure that said button isn't firing ALL of them off. I wouldn't be so foolish as to use every single one of those warheads on the barrier. If one's not going to work, its highly likely that none will work (Its certainly possible the energy released from all of them could be enough to break or fracture the barrier, but MAD's not quite viable yet in this scenario. At least wait til using it won't technically matter all that much)
11503
The fact that its "humans are bastards" trope played right is part of the main reason I've decided to lessen some of my hostility to the series Chat's created. The fact that it's also completely fictional (and that its not written badly) are also such.
12393
For a moment there, I thought it was Mrs. Cake. But I think she has violet eyes instead of blue.
33440
I approve of this post. Humanity has its faults, but if you only see the darkness, then your letting it win. Part of being human is facing the darkness both within us and outside us, and besting it, making both ourselves and our world a better place in the process.
33463
Everything has a flaw, for nothing is perfect. Besides, without darkness, we wouldn't know what light is. Without evil, we wouldn't know good. And I know possible response to that won't go well, but I would be lying to myself by not saying such, and we must at least be honest with ourselves.
153071
I heartily agree that it is indeed sad. I'm a cynical person and even I have a brighter (well...overall brighter) view of what our future will be like. Personally, I no longer feel any anger of any sort towards Chat and her views on humanity. Instead, I recognize that she is free to believe such, even if I feel great pity that she can only see the black of the world, rather than the light, and realize that our world is far more grey than anything else.
The Following section has been snipped, due to not pertaining to the story itself.
Now that that's outta the way, I shall once again reiterate, that I did enjoy reading this story. I did get briefly confused when things switched to Alyssa's past showing how things happened with Equestria's appearance and everything. I also found the scene between Alyssa and Twilight to be interesting, I was waiting for Twilight to end up saying something, as in sense you could say that Alyssa technically indirectly insulted her. It must have really startled Twilight to find someone who has so much knowledge but hates having it (Personally, there is nothing wrong with knowledge, as long as your learning it for the right reasons. To use it as a mask...is not the best one out there.) Would have loved to see a brief bit from Twilight's POV after the conversion.
I will state that Dr. Pastern is now my favorite character so far. Which in a sense is rather funny, when you think about it, seeing as she is, well, human, and we're basically supposed to view humanity as bad in this (overall it seems that way anyways, but hey, its working in the humans are bastards tropes, so I'm not surprised)
I look forward to reading what's next in the line. Hopefully, I won't end up getting sucked into reading all the stories one after another and therefore get distracted from my own projects, as that can be really annoying
1549658
You're a bit late to the party. Thanks to plenty of assholes doing what assholes do best - crapping all over things - Chat's given up writing. Be thankful and make merry that such travesties against nature and writing and creation itself will no longer darken your doorstep.
1549850
But see, here's the funny thing......
I'm liking her stories.
Her writing is superb. She is obviously a good writer, that much is definitively sure.
I may not agree with her world view, or even her fanon of MLP FIM, but that doesn't mean her stories are horrible. Different, interesting, and something to cause thought perhaps, but not horrible travesties.
Perhaps I need to draw a big neon sign saying "I LIKE THE STORY" in big bold letters in put it in my post.
As for the assholes part, she should do what I do with assholes. Ignore them. Do what you enjoy doing. If writing makes her happy, then WRITE I SAY!
Some people are going to consider me crazy for this but....
DON'T STOP WRITING CHATOYANCE!!!!
No, seriously, don't stop writing.
EDIT: You'll notice I decided to snip everything not pertaining to the story, or at least not anything loosely pertaining to such, in my comment. I've decided that its better both for Chatoyance, and more importantly, me, to do such.
If nothing else, it will save me typing time in the future.
1549871
easy to say, harder to do. Apparently some people seem to think you need to agree with all aspects of an author's world viewpoint, or that said author's world viewpoint needs to be "corrected" or that the author needs "educating" when you, the reader, don't agree.
It means, sadly, that even logical, friendly discourse becomes unwanted.
I'm glad you enjoy her stories, I do to. I don't agree with the means in all of them, but I do generally find the ends to be agreeable. I find it sad others cannot separate the two, as we must and do in real life. I think she's been educated enough, if you ask me - she's learned that having their world-view challenged makes a small but loud percentage of otherwise rational humans into violent apes. Don't bother trying to educate her more, okay? You'll be wasting her time as well as yours. Discuss it, sure - I have a group I use for that (though I haven't written proper for over a month in anything).
If you can bring up - in a discussive way - ideas or views from stories without dragging the author into it, then please by all means start new threads. If you cannot, then ask me to promote you and I can, I think. The groups in fimfic don't really work all that well.
1549946
It does scratch against my grain, but then, many things in life do, and I simply have to learn to tolerate it and move on. She is free to see things her way, as I am mine. As for the having to agree with one's worldview for a story to be good, thats a load of utter bullpucky. I've read plenty of stories, fanfic and actual books, that were either by people whose world view I didn't approve of, or the view presented in said books I didn't approve of. The only ones I didn't get at least some satisfaction from reading were the stories that were actually bad. These TCB stories so far are not, they are in fact well written. Her writing style is going to take some getting used to though, it threw me for a loop in the previous story.
Its the internet. The instant a temper flares by even one angeron its generally inevitable in my mind that it shall lead to such...excepting in cases where no one really feels strongly about the topic, in which case its all a heat of the moment thing.
I am unfortunately a very blunt person, and am further compacted by the fact that if I'm not careful, I'll delve into a tangent where I stop making sense and am simply speaking from the hip. So how much good discussion I'd be able to put up is...questionable from my perspective at the moment. But, as for the offer, I shall consider it.
1549658
Holy shit dude. You're replying to an ancient comment.
Also, WE DIE TOGETHER YOU FLUFFY BITCHES.
1549979
If it even stayed on the internet, it could be tolerated, but it devolved into outright death threats, intimidation and attacks on her real person. She has had a singularly unique life so far, and for her troubles has gained a dedicated group of haters that are determined to stir up trouble. They have made writing pony all but impossible by having others insist that she is wrong, wrong, wrong and that she must atone for these sins.
Quite simply, if all the detractors were as nice as you, there wouldn't be a problem, but they aren't. It's ironic that her opinion mankind has a problem with violent, anti-social tendencies and could do better by being changed into a kinder, gentler, more family-oriented creature, has caused her to suffer under examples of those same violent, anti-social tendencies.
1550003
Necro-posting. I dig it
1550007
I still honestly don't understand why anyone would take it that far. Ponies may be srs business, but their not that serious. Of course, she could in a sense take it as a sign of how threatened they felt by such a mindset existing.
I try to be blunt, but I tend to try not to be (when I can help it, which is when I don't let my temper get a hold of the reigns) hurtful when I'm blunt. Despite the inner demon within me and how I love grimdark stories (there suffering fuels me lol) I don't actually like being angry or hateful to people without a real damn good reason (which is why I've effectively extended a hoof in friendship towards chat...3 times now?) I would also state that I'm not necessarily nice so much as...I'm not mean for the lulz of it. I follow a policy of treat others decently unless they treat me like crap. Chat hasn't done such, so thus I treat her like a decent human being...whom I have disagreements on worldviews with.
I still encourage her though to shake away those haters and continue writing. heck, me, I'd keep writing to spite all those people who hate on my work. But then, I'm...weird that way. The only sin she need atone for is deciding to stop writing. Don't let them get you down Chat, if you love writing, then keep on doing it
And if nothing else, you can always send the mean detractors my way
Now, I need to go to sleep so I can actually be coherent enough later to actually read more of her stories as well as work on my own.
1550127
Mighty decent of you, if you ask me. If you want 'dark', then my own shattered worlds stories may be to your liking, based on a variant of hers.
1867504
Thank you! I felt that including the original speech was a tip of the hat to the creator of the basic idea, but - to be honest - it was a highly problematical speech, and I felt it needed some kind of noprize explanation for elements with in it (gun to your head?). I figured the most reasonable would be that Twilight was rushed and simply did not grasp human idioms and expressions. I pictured her dog tired, slaving over what materials she had, trying to compose something in English that would be warm and inviting, and failing because her human helpers weren't sure what she was asking.
To me, that sounds plausible.
"It's no wonder that truth is stranger than fiction. Fiction has to make sense." - Mark Twain
So in the end, she still had a little bit of Pinkie Pie in her
1934562
Nah, being human itself isn't the real hell, its when we gather in large numbers and start disagreeing with each other, and then get angry that someone doesn't agree with us that we start down the path of making Earth Hell.
Also, are you implying something along the lines of Adam and Eve? Because I have a rather interesting viewpoint on that little incident involving the apple.
1934686
To an extent, I meant like everyone lives in the paradise and when an individual person sins up they are sent here.
1935305
There is no transgression that could possibly warrant being sentenced to a universe of horror and oblivion, with no memory of why one was sent there.
Any authority, deity, or force that would do such a thing is a despicable and psychotic true evil, and cannot be tolerated.
If your belief is true, then whatever does this to sapient beings is my enemy, and the enemy of all compassion.
1935469
Would definitely make a great movie to watch in theaters, though.
1935305>>1935469
More to the point, if its Paradise, then there's no reason to commit whatever 'sin' might be there, which would mean the high honcho god dude is just sending people off to 'hell' for the lulz, which in of itself is more evil than doing it because someone broke one of gods rules.
Now, as for the first part of Chat's first sentence, I disagree to an extent, though I agree with the second half. At the very least you should know why you've just been condemned to pain and suffering.
2nd sentence is, from my perspective anyways, technically inaccurate. True, said force (etc) would be despicable and psychotic, but if said force feels it has good reason to do such, its questionable how fully evil said force would be. By Contrast, a force that does so simply because it can, and has nor needs no other reason, is the truly psychotic true evil that needs to be dealt with swiftly and efficiently, however that may be.
Thankfully, I'm a deist who doesn't believe in the horrific hell that some people believe in, I just happen to think that Earth can be hell if humans desire to make it so (fortunately those few who do desire to do so are vastly outnumbered by those who don't want Earth to be like that)
Wow, you've written a lot of stuff. c.c
Well, as my first, shall we say, "pure" introduction to TCB, this was pretty good. I liked the plot, primarily, not to mention a few words in particular ("threevee" is brilliantly evocative). I love when Pinkie hocks one into the conversion serum (which, oh yeah, explains how she turned out!)
Main issue I would say I have with this story is Alyssa's characterization comes off as author self-insert pap: too smart for her own good, such that she worries overly about everything and makes her own life miserable. (I know nothing about you personally, I'm just sayin', I've been there, done that.) It's one of those "Sue traits turned into a weakness but still a Sue trait" characterizations. But, beyond the first chapter or two, it really wasn't an issue, and in the end, I enjoyed this story, and that's what counts. :) It's also the first of your works I've ever read, fyi.
2172275
Thank you very kindly for reading my story, and for your feedback!
2176503
Most welcome. :)
I liked this nice and short story! It was an exciting explitive of the conversion process, and was as much of a joy to read as it must have been to write! Thank you!
I must say... the ending came as a...
Surprise.
YEAHHHHHHH
... canon characters in TCB?
Yes.
Please.
"Dr. Pastern's pants exploded" is a wonderfully ridiculous and ridiculously wonderful sentence all at once.
In related news, I guess Pinkie's impromptu transfusion didn't work out. Or did it?
...
Alyssa, did you seriously name yourself after that?
68482
Sir or madam, I don't know you... but I know that feel, bro.
>> Comment #10, Chapter 5:
Sir or madam, I don't know you... but I know that feel, bro.