things get better before they get worse.

by Derpylicious

chapter 4

Her face burned, her head stayed as down as she could keep it, hoping that the filly's, and colts waiting outside the class she was coming out off would leave her alone for once, but they didn't, they never did. She felt a sudden jolt at her saddled bags as she was pulled towards the group, a sea of laughter and mocking rising up from the Filly's in the year up from her.

The next thing she felt was a hoof wrap around her own and pull her to a wall, in from of her stood a spotty colt, who was way to close for comfort, she jumped away but him and his fried grabbed her and slammed her into the wall holding her there, she was used to this, it happened every week. She had had just about as much as she could take.Suddenly she shouted and ripped away, she then turned round and punched the spotty colt right in the face. Now he was up against the wall.

"YEAH, BUCK OFF!" she turned and met face to face with her head of year "miss dash, into my office, now"

"so yeah that is how I got kicked out of school"

Comments

[Psitally]

What? Ah don't get it. this is so confusing...

[Derpylicious]

2775222 what do you not get? (I am sorry if I rush to much in writing)

[Psitally]

2775295
It makes sense but you should practice describing the moment more, where were they? what were they doing? give elaborate detail when writing and you'll notice that your chapters get longer and more people want to read. Hope i helped!

[Derpylicious]

2776248 ok! thanks for the advice!

[Psitally]

2780473 Yeah if you'll just start making longer chapters this'll be great! but 200 word chapters just aren't long enough.

[Derpylicious]

2780810 to be fair to me that one was just a explanation chapter and I didn't know how to get it into another chapter.