Deserts and Dragons

by Metool Bard

Misfortune Incognito

Chapter 4:
Misfortune Incognito

The hot sun beat down mercilessly as a pair of teenage dragons made their way through the desert. One was a short fellow with black scales that shined like obsidian and sharp silver eyes. The other was a taller dragon with a lean build and dull grey scales. They flew in silence for a time before the tall one spoke up.

"Flint?"

The short dragon rolled his eyes. "What, Steel?"

"I'm hungry."

Flint groaned. "Three hundred and forty two," he muttered.

"What was that?" asked Steel.

"Nothing. I'm just keeping track of how many times you've said something stupid ever since we were kicked out of our cave," said Flint bluntly. "It keeps me sane."

"I don't understand how me being hungry is stupid, Flint," said Steel.

"Three hundred and forty three," said Flint. "And it's because I already know that. We haven't found a good gem deposit in days, thus we're both starving. Repeating it over and over again ain't gonna change that."

"I know, I know," said Steel. "But seriously, what kind of dragons are we if we can't protect our nest from a bunch of hooligans?"

"You still hung up on that?" Flint said with a snort. "I'm telling you, Steel. We'll find a way to get it back. I just can't think on an empty stomach, that's all."

"Remind me again. Why didn't we join the Great Dragon Migration and opt instead to stay here?" inquired Steel.

"Three hundred and forty four," Flint sighed. "I've already told you this a thousand times, Steel, so this better be the last time. The buffalo around here treat us like royalty. What's the point of migrating if we've already got it good right here?"

"Except that we don't," said Steel.

"Three hundred and forty five, Steel," growled Flint. "If you manage to hit a round number, I'll have to hurt you."

"Eep! P-please don't," Steel whimpered. "The wounds from last time haven't healed yet."

Flint rolled his eyes. "Just shut up and keep flying, Steel. We're bound to find something eventually."

"Like a bunch of fillies in a wagon?" asked Steel.

Flint turned to his comrade and raised an eyebrow. "What the heck are you babbling about?"

"Look, down there," said Steel, pointing with his claw.

Flint turned to look, and sure enough, what Steel said was true. Down below were a bunch of fillies riding some sort of wagon.

"Happy birthday to us!" said Flint, licking his lips. "I suppose this can tide us over until we find some gemstones."

"Or maybe they have some food of their own that we can take," said Steel.

Flint gave Steel an odd look. "Since when do you like eating hay and oats?"

"Hey, it's better than nothing," said Steel with a shrug.

Flint sighed and shook his head. "Just, follow my lead, okay?"

"You're the boss, Flint," said Steel as the two flew into a dive.

***

"Hey, guys?"

"What's up, Scoot?"

"You mind if we rest here for a minute? I'm beat."

Sweetie Belle took a look around. There was nothing but desert as far as the eye could see. "Hmm. Not an ideal place to rest," she said thoughtfully. "I was hoping we'd find a place with some shade first."

"C'mon, Sweetie Belle! I've been pulling you guys for hours!" Scootaloo whined.

"I'm actually with Scoot on this one," said Babs Seed. "We should probably take a break."

Sweetie Belle mulled it over for a minute and then nodded. "Alright, sure. But I'm gonna need to reapply our sunscreen."

"Again?" asked Apple Bloom. "We already put it on first thing this mornin'. I don't think it wears off that fast."

"Better safe than sorry," said Sweetie Belle. "Besides, we've been sweating a lot. It could've washed off."

Apple Bloom sighed. "Fine."

"Good," said Sweetie Belle with a smile. "Alright, Scootaloo. Take five."

Scootaloo didn't need to be told twice. She brought the wagon to a complete stop before collapsing on the handlebars of her scooter.

"Okay, new rule. I vote we take a breather every hour or so," she said breathlessly.

"That's probably a good idea," said Apple Bloom. "If Scootaloo collapses on us, we're gonna be goin' nowhere fast."

"All the more reason I wanted to find some shade first," said Sweetie Belle as she took out the sunscreen and began to apply it to Scootaloo's back. "It's kinda hard to recover our strength with the sun beating down on us like this. This is probably our most ambitious journey yet, and we can't afford to make mistakes."

"See, Apple Bloom? We're being careful and staying out of trouble, just like we Pinkie Promised," said Scootaloo with a small smirk. "There's nothing to worry about."

"Except that we haven't found those Dragon Magi yet," said Babs, blowing back her combover as she reached out of the wagon and poking around in the sand.

"That and Cousin Braeburn," added Apple Bloom sadly. "I still can't believe we forgot to leave him a note."

"Yeah, well. You can't change the past, Cuz," said Babs. "Still, I gotta wonder what he's doin' right now."

"Please, Babs. I'm tryin' not to think about that," said Apple Bloom. She then looked over at Babs, who was busy scooping something out of the sand. "Um, Babs? What're ya doin'?"

"Findin' rocks," said Babs.

"What for?"

Babs looked up and smirked. "For this."

She then reached into her saddlebag and pulled out a slingshot with a red rubber band.

"This is a little souvenir from one of the Cutie Mark Crusadas Manehattan Branch exploits," she said. "Cutie Mark Crusadas Marksponies."

"I'm afraid to ask how that turned out," said Sweetie Belle, applying some sunscreen to herself.

"Yeah, it was a bust. Let's just, leave it at that," said Babs, hiding her bare flank with her tail. "Anyways, I figured I'd let one of you guys try it while we were in Appleloosa."

"Huh. Good thinkin'," said Apple Bloom with a nod. "So, why do ya have it here now?"

"One thing you learn while growin' up in the big city is that ya need to be able to defend yourself," said Babs with a smirk. "We don't know what we're gonna run into out here, so it's best to be prepared."

Apple Bloom nodded and smiled. "Y'know what, girls? I don't feel that nervous 'bout this anymore. We are keepin' our Pinkie Promises."

"Told ya," said Scootaloo with a laugh.

Just then, two shadows mysteriously appeared around the Crusaders. They all looked up to see two dragons descending upon them. They each shared a worried look.

"Y'think these are the Dragon Magi?" asked Babs.

Apple Bloom swallowed. "Dunno. They don't seem that friendly."

"Well, if they aren't the Dragon Magi, maybe they can tell us where they live," suggested Sweetie Belle.

"I, don't think they want to talk," said Scootaloo with a gulp.

Sweetie Belle sighed. "Let me handle this, girls."

The dragons then landed in front of the Crusaders' wagon, looking down on the four fillies with hungry eyes.

"Hello, little ponies," said one of the dragons. "You lost?"

"Yes, actually," said Sweetie Belle in a syrupy sweet voice. "You see, we're actually trying to find the Dragon Magi. Would you two gentlemen happen to know anything about them?"

The other dragon scratched his head. "Hey, Flint? What's she talking about?"

"How am I supposed to know, you bonehead?" Flint hissed. "Oh, and before I forget, three hundred and forty six."

Sweetie Belle cleared her throat. "Listen, Mr. Dragon. I know you two are probably busy doing, whatever you dragons do, but we would be most grateful if you pointed us in the right direction."

"And, why would we want to help you?" asked Flint.

"Because nice, handsome dragons always help damsels in distress," said Sweetie Belle, batting her eyelashes. "That's what my friend Spike told me, and he's a dragon."

"Huh. I, actually never knew that," mused the second dragon. "So, what exactly are you looking for again?"

"Three hundred and forty seven," Flint growled through gritted teeth. "Steel, we don't have time for this."

"Hang on, hang on. Don't rush me," said Steel. "I wanna hear what this pony has to say."

"Three hundred and forty eight, Steel. You're treading on thin ice," Flint snarled.

"Just a minute. That's all I ask," said Steel. "Please continue, young lady."

"Sure," said Sweetie Belle, unsure of what to make of the bickering. "Anyway, we're looking for the Dragon Magi. They're these dragons who practice magic and are very wise. We want to ask them about how we can get our Cutie Marks."

"There, satisfied?" said Flint. "Now let's..."

He then trailed off as he processed Sweetie Belle's story in his head. His lips then curled into a thin smile. "Steel, I think I've just found a way to solve all our problems," he whispered.

"You did? Oh, that's great!" cheered Steel. "So, what's the plan?"

"Just let me do the talking," said Flint slyly.

He then turned to the Cutie Mark Crusaders and cleared his throat. "Terribly sorry about appearing so imposing earlier. We just, had to make sure you were worthy."

Sweetie Belle blinked. "Worthy?"

"Yes. For you see, we are the Dragon Magi!" proclaimed Flint.

"We are?" asked Steel.

Flint elbowed his comrade in the stomach. "Three hundred and forty nine," he snarled.

"Oh," said Steel as he recovered. "Um, yes! Yes, we, are the Dragon Magi! You found us! Hooray for you!"

"Wow! That was easy!" said Apple Bloom, her eyes sparkling. "Well, I'm Apple Bloom, and these here are my friends Sweetie Belle and Scootaloo, an' my cousin Babs."

"A pleasure to make your acquaintance," said Flint with a bow. "I am Flint, and this here is my associate, Steel."

"Hello," said Steel with a wave.

"So, you can tell us how to get our Cutie Marks?" said Scootaloo.

"Of course we can!" said Flint. "But you see, you have to do something for us, first."

"We do?" asked Sweetie Belle, tilting her head. "I thought the Dragon Magi gave their knowledge willingly to those in need of guidance. That's what Chief Thunderhooves said."

Steel opened his mouth to speak, but immediately clammed up when Flint shot him a glare. He then turned back to the Crusaders and cleared his throat.

"Well, normally that's true," said he. "But see, my compatriot and I haven't eaten in such a long time, and we would really like some food."

"Oh," said Apple Bloom. "Well, all we've got are apples."

"I see," said Flint, knitting his brow. "Well, no matter! I know where you can get us some great food."

"Okay, where?" asked Scootaloo.

Flint pointed to the north. "A few miles that way, you'll find a cave built into a large cliffside. In that cave is a massive deposit of jewels of all shapes and sizes. And tastes."

Steel couldn't help but drool as Flint spoke.

"Anyway, if you go to that cave and get us some of those jewels, we'd be happy to help you," said Flint.

"Wait a minute," said Babs, narrowing her eyes. "I thought you dragons were wise and could use magic. What's preventin' ya from goin' to that cave an' gettin' the jewels yourselves?"

Flint paused for a moment as some beads of sweat formed on his brow.

"Um, well. In our infinite wisdom, we have deduced that it is physically impossible for us to get those gems," he said nervously. "Can't be done."

Babs blew back her combover. "I dunno, girls. I think these guys are a coupla charlatans."

"Charla-what now?" asked Scootaloo.

Babs sighed. "Charlatans. Y'know, frauds? Con artists? Snakes in the grass?"

"What are you, a dictionary?" said Scootaloo.

"Why do you always ask that?" asked Sweetie Belle, placing her hooves on her hips. "And by the way, we're still waiting for you to revise our charter."

Scootaloo blushed and cleared her throat. "A-anyway, maybe these guys have some way to prove that they're the Dragon Magi."

"Yeah," said Sweetie Belle. "How about you show us some magic?"

"Well, we would," said Flint sheepishly. "But, again, difficult to do on an empty stomach. I promise you, once we're fed, we'll help you in any way we can."

"Hmm," said Apple Bloom. "Crusaders meetin'!"

The Cutie Mark Crusaders then huddled together.

"I still don't trust 'em," said Babs. "We should just get outta here."

"But if they are the Dragon Magi, we'd be missing out on a great opportunity," argued Sweetie Belle.

"I don't know about any of you, but I don't want to be out here any longer than we have to be," said Scootaloo.

"I'm with Scoot," said Apple Bloom. "We don't want Braeburn worryin' 'bout us for too long. I say we hedge our bets and do what they say. If they're lyin', we'll jus' keep lookin'."

Babs snorted. "Alright, Cuz. It's your call. But I still don't trust 'em."

The Crusaders broke the huddle, and Apple Bloom turned to address Flint.

"After much deliberation, the Cutie Mark Crusaders have decided to help y'all out," said Apple Bloom.

"Splendid," said Flint. "You will not regret this. Again, there's a whole hoard of gems a few miles north of here. We'll be waiting!"

"Alright! Y'all heard 'em, Crusaders! Let's get rollin'!" said Apple Bloom.

Scootaloo nodded and flapped her wings with all her might. The Crusaders then zoomed off into the desert.

"Hey, Flint? Isn't that where our nest used to be?" asked Steel.

"Indeed it is, my dim-witted friend," said Flint mischievously. "Those ponies are sending a message to the bandits who kicked us out. And once we get back to full strength, we can kick them out properly."

Steel tilted his head. "No offense, Flint, but I've got a bad feeling about this plan. I mean, they're just kids."

"Kids who managed to survive out here in the desert. What's your point?" countered Flint.

"But, what if they find out we're lying?"

Flint scoffed. "What are they gonna do, Steel? They're ponies; we're dragons. It's not like they can beat us up."

"But those bandits can if they find out we're trying to take our nest back," said Steel.

"Oh, pshaw. You worry too much," said Flint dismissively. "This plan is foolproof!"

"Maybe you should've made it smart-people-proof," said Steel.

Flint turned savagely to Steel and narrowed his eyes. "Steel, what do you think I'm about to say?"

Steel gulped. "Um, three hundred and fifty?"

"Three hundred and fifty," said Flint sinisterly, pounding his fist into his palm. "And you know what that means."

Steel swallowed again. "Mother..."

***

As the Crusaders proceeded north, Apple Bloom's ears perked up.

"Y'all hear that?" she said.

"Yeah. Sounds like somepony's gettin' a maja whoopin'," said Babs. "Y'think it's those dragons?"

"Nah, I'd think the Dragon Magi are more civilized than that," said Scootaloo. "It's probably just a hawk or something."

"I've never heard a hawk like that before," mused Sweetie Belle. "Maybe I'll ask Fluttershy about it when we get back to Ponyville."

The Crusaders then shared a shrug and continued onward.

Comments

[Alpha Scorpii]

So far this is my favourite chapter I love the characters of Flint and Steel and their interactions with both the crusaders and with each other. Good job on them.

[ShadowLDrago]

"Okay, new rule. I vote we take a breather ever hour or so," she said breathlessly.
"That's probably a good idea," said Apple Bloom. "If Scootaloo collapses on us, we're gonna be goin' nowhere fast."

Yep, and you mean everY hour or so.

"This is a little souvenir from one of the Cutie Mark Crusadas Manehattan Branch exploits," she said. "Cutie Mark Crusadas Marksponies."

I'd question the misspelling, but it's probably just Babs's accent. Also, marksponies, I don't want to know.

"Yes. For you see, we are the Dragon Magi!" proclaimed Flint.

Bull.

Babs blew back her combover. "I dunno, girls. I think these guys are a coupla charlatans."

THANK YOU GENRE SAVVY PONY!

Babs sighed. "Charlatans. Y'know, frauds? Con artists? Snakes in the grass?"

Flim and Flam.

"Why do you always ask that?" asked Sweetie Belle, placing her hooves on her hips. "And by the way, we're still waiting for you to revise our charter."

Nice continuity reference.

Steel gulped. "Um, three hundred and fifty?"

Probably.

Steel swallowed again. "Mother..."

Sounds about right.

[Metool Bard]

5536900 Whoops! Thanks for catching that typo, mate.