• Published 23rd Jun 2013
  • 2,462 Views, 43 Comments

Lost Wing, Lost Identity - Hopeful_Ink_Hoof



What do you do when the attribute you use to define yourself is no more?

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Confession of Fear

"Twilight," a voice whispered.

"Hey, Twilight."

"Twilight." The sound of her name being whispered finally woke Twilight Sparkle up. Blinking she lifted her head. Her horn slowly began to glow, bathing the room in a gentle purple light to let her eyes adjust before getting brighter. Now that she could see, Twilight looked around. Her gaze slid over Spike asleep in his basket and stopped as she caught sight of a figure standing near the foot of her bed.

"Rainbow Dash?" she asked, moving to sit up in bed more. "What are you doing in here so late? I thought you were headed straight to bed after the party."

"Yeah," Rainbow Dash mumbled. "Sorry, but I couldn't sleep. I was hoping I could... sleep with you? Maybe talk a little?"

"...Sure." Twilight shifted and moved to one side of her bed. The light of the room dimmed as the blanket glowed, lifting it aside to let her friend get under. Rainbow Dash walked to the side of the bed and climbed in, laying down on her uninjured side.

"Thanks."

"No problem," Twilight said with a small smile. "So, what's on your mind?" Rainbow Dash chewed on her lip a moment, shifting on her pillow to look down at the bed instead of at her friend. Half a minute passed by Twilight's calculation without speaking. She was curious, but knew not to push. After another minute, she could see that Rainbow Dash had decided to finally open up.

"I'm scared," the pegasus said slowly. "Everything I am, everything I have ever been, has been connected to my wings. Fastest flyer in Ponyville, weather pony, young flyer champion, all about flying. Even my dream -- my only dream -- of becoming a Wonderbolt includes being able to fly. Everything I know, everything I am, is tied up in being a pegasus. Without-" She stopped as her voice cracked. She wiped at her eye, removing the tears, and took a deep breath before continuing.

"I don't know who I am without my wings." Dash's voice still trembled with emotion. "My entire life has been about flying since I was big enough to do so. With that taken away, I feel like... like... everything that makes me who I am is now gone. It..." She rubbed at her nose, thinking for a moment. "Imagine if you woke up one morning to find out you couldn't do magic or read."

Twilight Sparkle shifted as she tried to imagine what her life would be like for her. Magic was her special talent, something that she had been learning and practicing since she was a filly. Even before she got her cutie mark for it, she used it quite a bit. And reading was what she did with most of her free time. Granted it was no longer the only thing she did now, but she did spend a lot of time reading books and practicing spells.

What would she do if she could do neither?

"I honestly can't imagine what it would be like," she finally admitted, giving a shrug.

"Exactly!" Rainbow Dash pointed a hoof as she spoke. "Reading and magic has been a part of your life for so long, you can't imagine life without it." She let out another sigh. "Except now, I might have to. I know you're looking, but I have never heard of anypony ever getting a limb back. I might never fly again."

"How are you dealing with that?" Twilight asked, trying to keep Rainbow Dash going.

"I'm not," the pegasus snapped. "I-I want to yell. I want to scream. I want to smash things. I want to FLY for crying out loud. I hate being stuck on the ground. I hate not being able to fly. I...I.. I just hate how my life is right now. And I can't even blame anypony for it. What's weird is that I feel like that makes it worse, and I don't know why." She took a deep breath and slowly let it out. "I think what I hate most is knowing that there is nothing I can do about it."

Twilight Sparkle looked at Rainbow Dash a moment, then moved closer. Reaching out, the purple pony took a hold of her sky blue friend and pulled her into a hug. Dash held still a moment, tensing against the embrace. Slowly she began to relax, hugging back. Shifting, she hid her head against Twilight's chest, nuzzling into it. Quietly, Rainbow Dash's tears started to flow. After a while, the quiet crying turned into fully audible sobs. She held onto her friend tightly as she let out her frustration.

Twilight bit her lip and closed her eyes, holding back her own tears. Seeing her friend so upset was painful for her as well. She felt a lump swelling in her throat and a pain in her chest. It made her wish that she could do more to help. For now, she would just have to wait and let her friend cry it out. So she held her friend, rubbing a hoof against her back gently.

Slowly the sobs turned into hiccuping whimpers. After a while, the hiccups passed and the whimpers turned silently. After waiting a while longer, Twilight Sparkle leaned back. Taking a hold of Rainbow Dash's chin, she lifted it so they were looking at each other eye to eye.

"We're going to find a way to fix this," Twilight said, " and if not... I guess you'll just have to find something else to be awesome at. That shouldn't be a problem for the coolest pony in Ponyville." She gave a small grin, getting one with a chuckle in return.

"Yeah." Rainbow Dash gave a gentle nuzzle. "Thanks Twi. I think I can get to sleep now. Getting all that out made me feel exhausted." She shifted to lay back down. "Uhm... Can you... wrap one of your wings around me?"

Twilight Sparkle blinked in confusion for a moment, then smiled and nodded. Carefully, she stretched out one of her wings and lowered it to cover Rainbow Dash like an extra blanket.

"Thanks again, Twilight." Dash let out a yawn and shifted one more time. "Good night."

"Good night... Dashie."