The Collection

by Churchy

xjuggernaughtx

This chapter was written by xjuggernaughtx

o----o

Twilight glanced back at the castle as she bolted away, blanching at the way the open portcullis glimmered in the pre-dawn gloom. She knew that it was only the morning dew, condensing on the cool steel, but the resemblance to the slavering jaws of some evil monster, hungry for pony blood, was so strong that she gasped and poured on more speed. I’ve got to get out of here! I’ve got to tell some—

Stars swam in Twilight’s vision as she slammed full speed into something pink. Suddenly, they were rolling off the castle’s winding path and into the brush-chocked ditch that ran on either side. “Pinkie, what—ow—oof!” she attempted, biting her tongue.

“Whee—uuh—whee!” Pinkie cried out, her giggles interrupted with each tumbling revolution. Finally, they both grunted as they slammed into a bush. Twilight shook her head vigorously to clear the black spots swirling in front of her, but she found standing to be impossible. Somehow, Pinkie had twined herself completely around her friend, and was attempting to hug Twilight with all four legs and her tail.

“Wow, Twilight! You really put the ‘crack’ in crack of dawn!” Pinkie said, still grinning as she rubbed her forehead. Twilight blushed furiously as she watched a small lump begin to rise there.

“Oh, Pinkie, I’m so sorry! I wasn’t even looking—” Twilight said, the words rushing out until a thought hit her. “Wait, what are you doing here? The sun’s not even up.”

“Well, I like to come up here sometimes when I really want to get my party skills in shape! I call it my Sunrise Fun-cise!” Pinkie said, loosening her grip on her friend. “Rainbow Dash says I should just plain ol’ ‘exercise’, but that sounds boring and sweaty!” Rising, she opened up her saddle bag to let Twilight peer inside. “See, I’ve got my rubber chicken, some whoopee cushions, three joybuzzers and twelve packs of balloons! If this stuff can’t help me bone up on tickling some funny bones, then I’ll have to go to the Farm!”

“Let me guess. Twilight said, rubbing the area between her eyes. “The Funny Farm?”

Pinkie’s eyes grew wide as her jaw dropped open. “Whoa, Twilight! You really do know everything!” she said, bouncing rapidly in place. “If you can’t feel the funny, they’ll help you cultivate a sense of humor. They’re giggle growers!” Pinkie suddenly sat down, rolling her eyes to the sky and placing a hoof on her chin. “Or are they titter tillers?” She turned to Twilight, shrugging. “Snicker pickers?”

Twilight shook her head, a grin slowly spreading across her face. Of all the ponies to run into on the way out of that castle—wait! The castle! Twilight jumped back to her hooves. “Pinkie, we have to tell somepony about the castle!"

Pinkie cocked an eyebrow as Twilight seemed to be trying to go in two directions simultaneously. The unicorn’s head was rotated back toward the crumbling castle, but her hooves seemed to be trying to head back to town. In the end, Twilight ended up running in small circles, and Pinkie joined her, laughing!

“No, Pinkie, this is serious!” Twilight said, finally stopping. Taking a few deep breaths, she tried to compose herself. Something awful had happened and she couldn’t afford to panic. “Okay,” Twilight said, grabbing her friend by the shoulders, “I need you to run to town and tell the Mayor that somepony has been hurt in the castle. Maybe even… well, just tell them something happened and to send help!”

“What?” Pinkie gasped, her pupils dilating to pinpoints. “Somepony is hurt?! Who is it?” Pinkie took off like a shot toward the castle, leaving Twilight coughing in a cloud of dust. “We’ve gotta go help!” she called back over her shoulder.

“No, wait!” Twilight croaked, trying to work the dust out of her mouth. “Pinkie, don’t go in—oh, that pony!” Biting her lip, Twilight cast a glance back down the path toward town, and then started up after her friend. “This is a bad idea! A very bad idea!” she muttered to herself as she surged up the winding trail.

~~~

Twilight leaned up against the rough wall just inside the castle’s gate, pressing on her chest with a hoof. She always forgot how quickly Pinkie could move when she wanted to. As she gasped for air, she watched as Pinkie cautiously moved toward the huge pool of blood smeared across the floor, preparing for the evitable freak out. Somewhere high above them, something moaned. Twilight found herself cringing, and fought to stand again.

“It’s n-nothing, Twilight,” she muttered to herself as she trotted after Pinkie. “It’s just the wind. These old castles are so drafty.”

“EEEEEEEEKKK!!!”

Twilight’s mane bristled wildly as she jumped straight into the air. Somewhere, Pinkie was screaming, but Twilight had banged her head on the ceiling. Eyes watering, she ran toward where the high-pitched squeal seemed to be the loudest.

“Hold on, Pinkie," she cried. “I’ll save you!”

“Oh, Twilight!” Pinkie said, throwing a leg around the unicorn to slow her down. “This isn’t blood, silly! It’s strawberry syrup! Doesn't that just make you want to scream?”

Twilight eyed the red substance critically. “A-are you sure, Pinkie?” she asked, bending down to sniff it. “I don’t think—”

Pinkie threw a hoof up, stopping Twilight in mid-sentence. “Trust me on this one, Twi. I know strawberry syrup with I see it! And when I taste it!” Before Twilight could stop her, Pinkie dipped a hoof into the smeared, red mess and shoved it into her mouth. Seconds later, she spat it out, gagging. “This is some icky syrup! Remember that ham flavored syrup the girls made for their dessert cutie marks?” Pinkie screwed up her face, sticking out her tongue. “Yeah, worse. No wonder they threw it on the floor!”

Twilight dragged her friend away from the pool, wincing at the red hoofprint Pinkie was leaving behind her. “That’s because it’s not syrup, it’s blood! Twilight cried. “And now we have to get out of this castle before whoever did this comes for us, too.

“At least Rainbow’s gone already! We won’t have to go upstairs and get her!” Pinkie said.

“Wait, what?” Twilight gasped, turning slowly to her friend. “Did you say that Rainbow… was just here?”

“Yeah, she zoomed out of one of the windows. She went right over us when we were rolling into that bush!” Pinkie said as Twilight’s eyes widened.

Comments

[pterrorgrine]

Pinkie’s eyes grew wide as her jaw dropped open. “Whoa, Twilight! You really do know everything!” she said, bouncing rapidly in place. “If you can’t feel the funny, they’ll help you cultivate a sense of humor. They’re giggle growers!” Pinkie suddenly sat down, rolling her eyes to the sky and placing a hoof on her chin. “Or are they titter tillers?” She turned to Twilight, shrugging. “Snicker pickers?”

That is some very solid Pinkie writing.