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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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I finally found a good spot to use this!
Edit: FIRST!!!!!!
I am so confused. And I really don't like it.
Well...ok.
Gah why go this route? Also blasted damn cliffhangers.
Oh, this is good. I sense a whole lot of salt incoming. All the butthurt.
You magnificent bastard...what a wonderful mind fuck.
>Asylum
i1.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/954/377/5af.gif
... What, the, fuck? ...
...
That is all.
...Nox.exe has unexpectedly stopped working...
not what I was expecting. I was willing to go with you with the human revolt and everything, but I'm not sure that I'm going to keep up with this. After all of the excitement of the previous chapters I was waiting for a little bit of denouement; not this.
Welp, can't say I didn't see this route coming. I'm just hoping you can bring something new to the table that's already been set. Because with this singular chapter I have not seen a single new spin on this.
-Person wakes up confused on where they are with massive headache/body ache/some memories missing/etc
-Person learns that the world they were living for the past X amount of time is a "Fantasy"
-Everything Person experiences is pointing to the fantasy is just a product of their mind breaking. (I.E. Meeting Celestia and Twilight as differently, but very closely, named to their original)
-Person starts to think that maybe that things really were a fantasy when suddenly something comes and says nope, that shit really happened (which either makes them believe harder in the "fantasy" and thus starts raving like a madman and being unbearably stubborn. Or they instead start playing along until they can figure out a way back, Or some things close to those)
- Person slowly starts losing morale as time passes on longer and longer and they stop believing in the fantasy full stop until the next big scene happens and makes them believe again or, more likely, makes them run away in terror because they thought they were over the thing.
I could go on with this, but honestly i'm bored already just typing this stuff out. So PLEASE tell me you have something new to bring to the table when it comes to such a tired story arc. Because I really don't want to do what I just did with this chapter and skim through a good portion of the upcoming chapters until he gets back to Equestria.
Interesting
7993320
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7993318
7993362 7993374 The next chapter will see the 'asylum' scene resolved (as for it being unique, I'm unsure, as I don't read a lot of stories on this site). After that, we have a bit of wrapping up, and then, officially, the story is over.
7993320
pinkie.mylittlefacewhen.com/media/f/img/mlfw2877-Pinkie_Pie_rage_4.gif
Ditto.
-Ru
7993386 It's not so much that it's common on this site (Though it is a pretty commonly used plot point in a good portion of HiE stories) It's just also used as a major plot point for so many other stories, while i can't remember in any of the published works I've read i'm certain they exist in many of them, I just see it a LOT in fanfictions across all the fandoms I've read.
By the way, please don't take my critique (the harshest and meanest i've ever given) as my way of saying you should change your plot points. This is still your story and even if this part of it I don't agree with on a writer's viewpoint, I have enjoyed 98% of everything else you have written in this story massively.
And even if I actually hated your piece from start to finish (which is definitely not the case, I very rarely re-read stories and i've re-read yours like.. 10 times.. that I can remember) that still wouldn't give me the right to demand you bend to my desires of how a story should be told. I believe wholeheartedly in the saying of "Think you could do better? Well prove it and write a story of your own to your standards."
7993414
Not to worry, friend. I enjoy getting feedback on my work, and while I might change one or two things based on reader feedback, I try to keep the story mostly how I envisioned it to begin with.
And besides, I can't really change anything at the moment anyways. The rest of Your Human and You is already planned out.
I really hope part two isn't far off, 'cause this has only created more questions.
Plot Twist: Max is actually hallucinating and is actually still in Equestria.
Don't you dare end the story this way. Nice Plot Twist, but I'd hate it if he was just seeing things this whole time.
Well, this is a mental purgatory if I've ever seen one. Hope we don't have to wait too long for whatever Janitor Riddick has to say.
I just hope it won't take more than 1 month for the next chapter.
This chapter feels very off with the pace of the rest of the story. We just finished the climax; we had the giant battle, discord was defeated, things started to wrap up and chill down. But now, we get this random "It was all a dream" mind-screw out of left field that seems to be adding tension and a new conflict at a point in the story that seems at first glance to be entirely inappropriate. Perhaps this is just a deathrattle of discord, catching the reader off guard right as all seems safe? I guess there are a few things that need to be developed, like how Max gets to communicate verbally with the ponies as seen in the xmas chapter a while back.
Crap, who is in Max's body then? We know Paul/Discord was fed upon by Melody/Vinyl Scratch so who consciousness is in control? Otherwise this was a major mind screw that Max caught quickly onto.
im not a huge fan of the mind games thing
70+ entertaining/engaging chapters and interludes... and then this...
*sigh* This is the first chapter of this story that has left me feeling genuinely disappointed.
We will see how it plays out in the 2nd part... but every "it was all in the protagonist's head" story ALWAYS feels like a lame cop-out to me.
Once this scene gets resolved, I'd like to see a blogpost or author's note as to why the author decided to go this "Asylum" route.
(Sigh) I really can't see any point to this direction. It just feels like grim-dark purely for the sake of being grim-dark.
Not for adding greater depth to the story or characters, but just because "Grimdark is kewl!XD" That being said, I've been wrong before. And I am quite content to sit and wait for a(hopefully) satisfying payoff at the end of the arc.
Till then, Brony on my friend, Brony on.
7993519 I highly doubt it's gonna end with all of the events in Equestria being a figment of his imagination He still has the scars, several things the Doctor said contradict themselves, and then there's that last scene where he comes face to face with himself.
Hollly fuck you updated?
Somehow i feel like Arthur Dent. Rabbit bones in my beard.
7993535
While I don't believe it's going to turn out that the whole story was a figment of Max's imagination, the chapter is still a letdown for me.
For the direction this chapter took, I would have preferred a single monstrous chapter instead of it being broken up into 2 parts.
At least then the situation would hopefully be resolved in a manner satisfying to me as opposed to the disappointment I'm sitting in now.
Good on MadMaxtheBlack for eliciting such a strong emotional response from me in regards to this chapter... but I have a feeling it's probably not a type of response he was looking for.
is alive!
Mind games... goddamn it One of my worst fears...
Nicely done though Maxy, nicely done.
Wat?
The fuck is this mate? Well authors know best, I guess I can wait
well i can tell we were in for a ride with how much that first part reminded me of kingdom hearts chain of memories. i am kind of glad he atleast figured out something was going on rather then us having to deal with the mess of a story web i thought we were getting into.
At first i was disappointed that it seemed like this story was going to end up being like "He imagined it all ekks dee" but the the end gives me hope. <3
The confusion of some of the readers is almost as intoxicating as the suspense this chapter brought!
Dissy is certainly giving his all on this one. Great Job!
7993535 Dunno, I got feel, its like being trapped in his head, it would explain few things... the voice in his head, the janitor, that pain as if the truth trying to reveal itself... not mention that that this was once of his fears as he revealed to Luna before...
All I'm thinking of is the Darkness saying, "wELcOme HoME JACKiieeeee~"
WTF just happened!?
Dude, this story just got put on the 'Ehh, Wot?' Watch List, pending further uploads.
I have absolutely no fucking clue what's going on anymore, this story has given me another mind fuck. I may have zero clue but I sure am enjoying the ride!
Though if you pull the it was all a Dream card ending I'm going to be so disappointed
Welp can't say I didn't saw this one coming, 'cause I've really saw that one coming. I can only hope that it will end better than the last story with that plot point did.
7993418 so you gonna completely wrap the story up, or is there gonna be a sequel?
Part of Discord holding Max's mind hostage?
This reminds me of that one episode from Farscape, where the attempt is not to deceive the protagonist, but rather to drive him to insanity.
Anyone else read that song with the Drunken Sailor song in mind?
This chapter was..weird . It reminds me too much of Asylum. I hope you manage to tie this together cleanly. The rest of the story was just so awesome, and this one seems kinda out of place.
Well, that was something. Man, there's mindfucked and then there's mindfucked!
First off let me say i love this story. Very well written and you make us care what happenes to your characters.
Gotta be honest thoug I didn't enjoy this chapter at all.
Starting reading this confused as all heck.. then skim/skipped threw the rest waiting for a scene change. When one didn't occur i re scrolled up and read it again slower this time and still... not really fitting in with the story so far.
I'd suggest(ignore as needed it is your story) when you get part 2 of this you just add it to this one and make it one chapter otherwise this is probably going to be a huge break point in your narrative and a potential stop point for new readers.
Well now, this is a thing... I wanna say this is strange and out of the blue but if you consider that alot of this fits with many of the themes we have seen so far, I cant. We have seen alot of strange "things are not as they appear" shit, from Lyra to the Archmage. This is just par for the course. I am curious how this will play out. Hopefully we dont spend too many chapters trying to convince ourselves that delusions are not real.