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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Huzzah! The MC grows a brain cell! Now we can finally move on with the story!
As much fun as it would be to cause Sparks annoyance, I'd only do it if she was ignoring, or reasoning off, any attempts at communication. Or I'd just be doing things that would make look like a five-year-old prankster.
allow him to let twilight know he thinks ponies are a-holes
God the cliffhanger is intense. Finally the story is going somewhere.
wac.9ebf.edgecastcdn.net/809EBF/ec-origin.chicago.barstoolsports.com/files/2013/01/RobRyanFuckYeahFuckFace.gif
So many spelling and grammatical errors, but it nice to see him realize how stupid he was being.
MC has returned!
I cant wait when he got his Voice back... and Twilights Brain exploding
oh my god two chapters back to back by day, MadMax you spoil us
FI-FUCKING-NALLY.
Awesome work!
Good!
Step 1: Make it known that you are sapient - COMPLETE
Step 2: Make griffins KNEEEEL!!!
Step 3: Tell Celestia to go fuck herself
Step 4: ???
Step 5: PROFIT!!!
FINALLY!!
...smiling.
SMILING.
Oh my God. That's...actually...
...SUBTLE. That was actually very, very SUBTLE. I can't believe it. After so many chapters of head palm-worthy annoyance, and peeing on the carpet in the last chapter...SMILING! Humans don't smile in this world! And he picks up on that because she reads out loud! Yes, she sure does! And its a way of driving her nuts and confusing her without talking! Just...SMILING! Oh sweet LORD, its beautiful!
And then to end it like that...
I take back EVERYTHING I have said. This story was unbelievably frustrating to get through, but at long last it looks like it has FINALLY hit the right note.
From now onwards, I eagerly await the next chapter.
More please
Ok... baby steps, this can work.
This chapter was great, now it´s getting interesting!
2948726 I think he means the 8th month day 2 (aka Friday 2nd of August)
2969408 He wasn't born mute. He was made mute when coming to Equestria because of .
Ok, i LOVE this fic! It's just great!!
About freaking time (you should fire your co-writer)
2970897 2944950
As I was reading this part I was thinking of this:
You shouldn't kidnap people from the hospital Twilight, that's just mean.
I would have written cognito ergo sum, but that works too.
Having finished the end of chapter 7, two bits of feedback (ignoring the fact that there already 12 more chapters already written):
1) Not going with "Molestia" was the correct decision. Going with traditional Celestia gives you a "wise mentor/chessmaster" character readers can take seriously, "Molestia" give you a easy but cheap comic relief, and that's it.
2) About time "Max" resumed working on his original goal of proving his sentience. The whole "prankster/bad dog" routine put a serious strain on the suspension of disbelief, considering the fact he knows how humans are normally treated (e.g. marking, neutering, etc.)
You still haven't fixed the quill problem.
Aye, and I'll only let it go because it was a bet that you lost or something, hopefully it will vastly improve now that you are in control, the last few chapters were just painful, and half the reason I continued was just like how you would watch a train crash with fascination. Not that it was as bad as a train crash, but it was pretty close.
The song you posted seems to have been deleted due to a copyright claim.
3730449 Fixed... for now...
Ya know...have an editor go over your story. You've got correctly spelled words in places where a different word is supposed to be. Spell check is good, but it's wasted when you don't check to see what the words are corrected to.
Fun story, though!
Oh honest to GOD....
Do the words "Sign language" mean anything?
How about whistling? Tapping out math problems? Writing something with your finger in the dirt?
Your protagonist is carrying an IDIOT BALL the size of SEATTLE.
Slipknot gets mentioned
Metal heads across the world, rejoice, as we find ourselves to not be such a minority in the MLP community.
3731520
My sentiments exactly, well, maybe not that big. I can put across more than he is, just by posture and a few vague arm movements! I mean, really! Why didn't try to write in the dirt when he was outside, antagonizing Twilight!?!?!If he can make sounds with his mouth! which he can! but can't speak, why can't he clear his throat and do an attention whistle??? at first I thought this was really interesting, but I'm starting to loose my patience. I will give it a couple more chapters, and I will not feel bad about stopping halfway if this continues. Sorry, author.
now things are heating up
Discord would be proud of him. So much stress for Twi. But he should be careful to not loose his balls over it.
3822639
I think that he acted like taht was Dicords work anyway, think about it:
-The negative voice in his head, Discord!
-The creature in his dreams, Discord!
-Why he is there in the first place?... Discord!
Now they know! It was fun watching him be an Animal and such, but all good things come to an end. Bah ha ha ha ha, good stuff! Now what's going to happen? We shall see!
Smiling was fine. If anything, that should have been a hint that he was intelligent. But most of the shit he pulled was just stupid and dickish. I guess it's understandable from the perspective of it basically being a temper tantrum: he's spent weeks powerless, and now he's abusing the tiny bit of power he has as much as he possibly can, no matter how counterproductive it is. But seriously, it is. He should have spent every day plotting how to find out how Twilight would react if she found out he was intelligent.
3736050 Slipknot ain't real metal.
Now, Hexen on the other hand, that's real metal.
OH SHIT!
Finally away with the friend who only wants to make people hate this story, now IT SHALL BE GLORIOUS!
So. He finally wrote something.
troll.me/images/pissed-off-obama/hey-you-good-fucking-job-thumb.jpg
Who the fuck says that?
Whatever you say, Scully.
Also, the formatting of this bit is a bit weird.
That's a curious trait. I wonder if it is linked to intelligence?
I find it weird that, smiling or not, the idea of your human fucking with you is considered absurd
I forgot about that.
Also, it sounds like her leg is wrapped around her ankle.
Also, assuming the bandage is near her hoof, I'm pretty sure that is not where the ankle is.
I will hold you to that.
Can't imagine why
You asshole.
Also, you have a bad habit of using too many spaces. Learn to kern.
That is not the same as having a pet. Also, humans are not plants.
Generosity. I'm not calling you out on it, I'm just calling her a bitch.
As they tend to.
As they tend to.
As they... oh.
I like this author. He is alright in my book.
I hate this author. He needs to go die in a hole.
I really hate this author. He needs to go die in a hole.
Leash ex Machina. *ding*
At first, I thought she was going to neuter him.
Pedo stache
i.imgur.com/VY0ghGQ.png
You know, that dream job.
Right here:
funnymama.com/store/130808/202434_v0_600x.jpg
I like this author. He is alright in my book.
I can stop smashing my head against a wall now I was ready to start killing this guy
"I paced back in forth."
back-and-forth
Other than that, no typos were found by me
And now for something I feel is necessary:
(There's a link on the "...I...see...you..." bit)
"If your human is happy, you'll be happy too."
Doctor who influence? (Planet of the Ood)
Dreams sound like discord.
REALLY?
This fucker really has such a narrow scope of his situation, that it takes him a WEEK to piece together that his treatment isn't a purposefully malevolent act on Twilight's part? That she's not responsible for his treatment prior to his placement under her care?
This is shit so simple I wouldn't even need to think about it very hard, were I in his shoes. His total lack of empathy, unable to put himself in Twilight's headspace, and then opting to be the most disruptive and vindictive little shit he can make of himself. What a short-sighted self-destructive little toad.
Author... people, in general, are smarter than this. Sometimes, like in this show, you have to make characters blind to simple logic, in order to teach a moral to a very young audience. Here, you've just created an idiot-plot, that only works if the principal characters need a week to grasp simple concepts, and see past their own eye sockets.
Admittedly, I don't know what I'd be like after two weeks of sub-human treatment, forced into a cage to listen to the howls of other people undergoing genital mutilation, wondering if they might be next... But I hope it takes less than a week to wake the fuck up and tell your tormentors from your relative benefactors.
5063405 nah like Sauron but they have Sombra in them... So they're awful