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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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One of the longest story I have in favorite.
Darkflare’s personal human is part man, part machine you say...
http://vimeo.com/43615987
Clearly the Coming Dawn stand no chance against such a monstrosity.
BULLLLLLSHHHHHIIIIIT!
GOD DAMN IT, why must you taunt me with an update right as i'm about to go to sleep.
Yyyaaayyy!! I get to be " butthurt"... I guess?
Oh right! Um.... Meh?
...is that butthurt? Does that count? It wasn't a bad chapter... Just a poorly timed one... With some serious flaws in my opinion... Mostly things I thought conflicted with previous statements and actual facts. Also, really? Changelings. That was the best you could do? Llllliiiiitttttllleee disappointing. You have all these well defined villains/ potential for someone truly awesome... And you slap a changeling in? Just feels like writer short hand for" things are getting bland, quick kill something so we can have some action between plot points."
How about that? Was that butthurt? I'm serious, I never know what constitutes as butthurt.
Why did the first image to pop into my head have to be Hulk Hogan? There's no way I'll be able to take Van seriously now...
So changelings are meant to seem like xenomorphs here, right? The hole egg injecting thing I mean.
Oh well, good chapter.
Well... That was fun.
I can imagine a scene later on where they don't find Van, and he appears later on in Ponyville under Darkflare's command to kill Max and Twilight.
That was a really entertaining chapter. I enjoyed it a lot, keep up the good work.
I can't say that I'm particularly fond of the way you chose to portray changelings in this, but aside from that it was pretty good. Though it's kind of annoying that yet again Sunny has failed to give the people she's working with relevant information. She seems to do that an awful lot......
4045934
She's a civilian trying to work with a SpecOps team. It makes sense that she doesn't know what the team needs, nor what they already know, and the Lieutenant obviously doesn't know the right questions to ask. It's a basic miscommunication with a civilian in a situation that, while she volunteered for, was not fully prepared or trained to deal with. If anything, it's the El-Tee that needs to get straightened out and find out everything that Intel didn't provide for her and her team (in my opinion, they shot themselves in the foot when they didn't get all of the intel they could out of her before sending her with the strike team). If you aren't trained to deal with high-pressure situation, or aren't lucky enough to be born with ice in your blood, forgetting various things, and suddenly remembering them, should be expected.
Evidence... AGAIN. That I am a pre-reader for this marvelous fic in my own head.
Or not.
4045858
Also agreed.
I'm so very butthurt that Max wasn't in this chapter.
Thanks for the warning on the Maxless chapter, it avoided some serious butthurt.
That said, I liked seeing what sunny's been up to.
My butthurt!!
Ahhhh!
Had to be that guy.
This human rubs me in a strange way. He seems a little more than meets the eye. For one, I believe this is the first perceived human to be portrayed as happy in the entire story. Barring Max, of course. He also has a very strange disconnect between sociopathic killing and playful nuzzling. Something that these humans seem to not have, as they are dealt with extreme care in most cases of the story. He could be affected by whatever thing those humans in Canterlot are digging out, or he could be another "Terran" Human. That's my guess, at least.
Hm,did we get a previw of this chapter? I Forget, but the beginning looks very familiar.
4045858 beacause Eeeeeevil!!!
First off: I knew kids could kill a man, but DAMN!!!
Second: Sunny running in between the changling and Stacker during their fight. one thought: LEEEROYYYYY JEEEENKIIIINNNSSSSS!!!
Third: "...kill two birds with one stone." How in the hell is this a saying in equestria? They don't eat birds, I don't think I've read about a gun in this story, and is hunting for sport that common?
But I digress, excellent chapter for an excellent story. This deserves a 'stache
I want to say I'm perfectly fine with this chapter, but I sat on a tack left on my computer chair right before checking the site for updates.
I think that even though Max wasn't in this chapter, it may have been one of the better chapters in this story. it had an action we haven't seen for a while, and even though there was some gore and somewhat disturbing content, I must say; "thanks."
Keep up the good work from this chapter and to the next ones you have undergoing writing.
4045896 Upvoted not because I agree, but because you were trying your hardest to be polite. and while it didn't exactly work, you tried.
4046326
Dammit... Why am I so bad at being polite in text?
Well, thanks for letting me know I still have some work to do in that aspect.
4045901 Your profile name. Funny since I was reading this chapter while listening to Red vs Blue season 9 soundtrack.
I have no problem with chapters that don't focus on Max if they both advance the plot and are as enjoyable as this chapter. Besides, I'm more intrigued by this chapter and what (if any) significance is attached to Max getting his phone back than the Twilight/Max romance. I know romance is the dance but it is not as compelling to me as the tale of mystery, betrayal, and magic that makes your main story.
Also:
They're
Great...Darkflare has a damned Terminator.
4045984
And that's why it didn't shock me any the first time it happened. But you'd think that after that she would have gotten the idea that information is important. You know, since she was explicitly told that everything she knows, no matter how minor, could be the difference between life and death. I mean, this was almost a literal copy pasta of the first time it happened, except with a tad bit less hate involved.
But she's not exactly new to this anymore. She's been with them for quite a while now, and has been told to tell them everything she knows several times, but she's just now getting around to the part where she tells them that the group they're hunting has multiple warehouses in Manehattan and that one of them contains the single most deadly creature in said group's possession? That's not the kind of thing most people would just "overlook". That's almost as bad as forgetting to mention that the boss guy absolutely despises pegasi and always booby trapped the ceilings of his warehouses because he thought it was entertaining to watch them get hurt, regardless of whether they worked for him or not.
Max, do you like/want feedback and commentary as you write? I don't usually give it unless it's asked for as I know how frustrating it can be on unfinished work.
Something tells me this new human is going to be important to the story later on. Otherwise, this chapter is almost pointless. Lol Though I could be underestimating the importance of the introduction of changelings...
So that was fun. Sunny got her another human!She seems pretty good at taming them...
Keep going! ;)
4046397 Its still flesh and blood!....Give max access to a suit of armor and a sword,And it dies....Or invent the flintlock,And headshot the fucker a couple times
Man, they sure sat and watched for quite a while as their comrade got impregnated... and then proceeded to basically all get their asses beaten by a single changeling and had to be saved by an emaciated biped while their comrades on the other side of the warehouse decided to take what seems to be a small siesta and ignore the screaming.
Gotta be among the worst SpecOps teams ever. If this is what the elite of the equestrian armed forces look like, then the fact that the royal guard are consistantly trumped by a group of six untrained mares with magic jewelry all the time starts to make a little more sense.
Since no one else has mentioned it, then I will! Ahem...
I'll bet it's a real GAS working with Corporal Windbreaker!
EH? EH? Get it?!
FINALLY
4046530 .........
Ovipositor murder-rape? Gross, and nonsensical. If the eggs have to be kept warm then the host has to be kept alive. If the eggs need a source of meat, then the CRATES of it would have done a better job and the changeling could have fed the John Doe to the blatantly intelligent human. Either way it doesn't make sense.
Not that I agree with the idea of changelings as Geiger Xenomorphs anyway...
when the human decaped the changeling i noticed it is the same to this famous decap
I just read your warning and I for one am outraged. I don't read MLP fanfic for the ponies, I read it for the human OCs! Not only should Max be in every chapter, he should be in every paragraph. In fact, I think it would substantially improve your story if every word was changed to "Max".
Now that I'm done being silly, time to read the chapter.
...I agree with some of the comments I saw above. Me go sleepy now.
[edit: Another update?! No! The line must be drawn here! This far, no farther! Movie quotes FTW]
Pretty awesome. It's nice to see a changeling actually pose a genuine threat for once, rather than being the MLP equivalent of a zergling.
4046463 Well, sunny isn't a warrior, and they said it was a breeder. Could be stronger than normal changelings.
Too bad the expression wasn't, "kill two breezies with one stone"
4046430
Bears don't die easily to 22's, and flint-locks are terribly inaccurate (not to mention that reload time). A lot of inventing would have to be done before a gun could effectively kill a Human that has been called "A machine of flesh and bone, bred specifically for killing."
Additionally with the power that Humans are shown to have in this chapter (even when emaciated,) and every other mention of human on pony violence (dead within seconds) I would imagine that the threat of a monster human is very real.
I'm starting to compare the Humans in this story to the Elephants of our world. Massive beasts with incredible strength and power, and seeming to possess a high level of intelligence (when compared to other animals.) The difference being that everypony wants a pet Human, and no one actually wants a full sized pet Elephant.
Mmmmm, sexy.
4045896
Out of that entire chapter, you're mad at WHAT he put in as an antagonizing character?
:T
4046410 she must smell like.... SUN flowers
I have to ask. Is Stacker based off of someone else?
Dog tags come in pairs for a reason. You take one with you and leave the other on the body.
4046404 Civilians in a combat situation are stupid. They do dumb things for no reason at all, make rash decisions with far reaching consequences based on pure emotion, and like to pretend that playing cod for hours on end qualifies them for sfod-d selection. Therefore it's not Sunny Breeze's job to know important from unimportant. That's the responsibility of the guard in charge of her original criminal case, the intelligence officers in charge of the subsequent debrief, and her eventual handler as a civilian asset. Once again the royal guard dropped the ball.
4045901 Agreed, Director.
Now, could you please tell us why the hell we are here in a boxed canyon in the middle of fucking nowhere?
4047400
This mistake is made alot.
This was an awesome chapter! It was also a vital one to giving characters more...character. The scenes were well written and the pyes brought emotion, at least to me.
4047400
It sounds like someone's served?
Nice chapter,. I've been waiting for it the whole week. Found a typo.