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My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
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Yay! Update!
Also, can any more shit happen to Max? Oh, wait... Celestia is coming. So yes, more shit could happen.
3460080 Yeah...it's been a rather shitty day in general for him, hasn't it?
All I can say is that his life sucks.
And perhaps Celestia can heal his eye considering she owes him from shipping him in a box.
Kidnapped / nightmares about said kidnapping / manticores attack / get to hear that you lost an eye / death experience by Twilight / Celestia coming to finish it of. Not a bad day if you ask me.
oh SHIT!
this is not going to be good is it?
And Twilight HAHAHAHA!!!!
3460086
It has pretty much been shitty for him the entire time he has been in Equestria....
BEST CHAPTER!
The Scene with Rainbow Dash in the Hospital
+
then with an angry Twilight
=
EPIC
I'm sure it will be a pleasant conversation between Max and Celestia. They'll have some tea, talk about themselves, and have a generally fun time where absolutely nothing goes wrong and...
Nope... couldn't finish that with a straight face, he's fucked.
3460137
not the entire time! about 1/4 the time
-gasps- a cliff.....HANGER!!!
Great chapter!
3460171 Thank you for the finds!!!
Neat-o chapter.
Suckage cliffhanger.
I'm still waiting for the shoe to drop and we find out that the whole 'humans are dumb' thing is a result of something Celestia and Luna did to them, and whatever it is also has the side effect of making it so Max can't talk. Just the way she reacted to Discord's 'plan' whatever it is, makes me think she's pissed at him for far more than bringing Max to Equestria...
Midterm Papers...they can go eat a bag of *****. Hated them during high school and sure as hell hate them during college but at least yours are done, mine are just beginning for this semester.
3460346 ...Why do fics with humans as mindless beasts lead people to think that Celly's evil?
You know, I just want to see one of these where the manticore is chasing down the human because he dropped his wallet or cell phone and it is just trying to return it.
3460584
Normally I would agree with you there are a large amount of the Sun Tyrant stories like that. But there are at least three hints in the story that this may be true in this case. The princesses admit that they cannot remember everything from their past simply because it is too much. The nightmares with Luna involving the faceless statues (pulsing with magic?) and Celestia's supposedly odd place in her heart for Humans (According to another character). Plus there is also the involvement of Discord as well.
I think it is possible in this case that the sisters are involved but if it is I do not think that it is because Celestia is evil in this fic. I think it may even be possible that they were not directly involved but that they had some knowledge in the past as to what happened (This seems more likely to me.).
Oh RD, turned on by the strangest things. Poor Max, loved by all but sadly they're the wrong species. Someday poor Max will have to figure that one out, twilight will probably be the one he breaks with to. Loving this story, keep up the good work.
Celestia is finally on the move! Sweet!!
i.imgur.com/tqvV9.gif
3460768
Agreed, it MAY not be her/their fault directly, but they definitely seem to know something about it. And like I said, Celly didn't come down hard on Discord just for yanking Max over. And whatever it was she was near willing to make him taste the rainbow again to stop it.
I agree with the general consensus, this was a pretty good chapter.
Just what the hell was up with Rainbow Dash suddenly turning into creeper? That was almost as scary as pissed off Twilight.
3460171
You... you got a dislike for your post. For that very helpful post, that did nothing more than point out some minor mistakes and say the story is good. For that, you got a dislike.
I don't get some people.
Beginning of chapter:
media.tumblr.com/1c37ded53e6952d597edecba8a5fc9f9/tumblr_inline_mtsir6MPq81qc9lhz.gif
Middle about when Twilight shows up:
i3.kym-cdn.com/photos/images/original/000/182/807/66534%20-%20Molestia%20Nightmare_Moon%20celestia%20censorship%20double_rape%20nightmare_moan%20rape_face.jpg
Ending when I wait for a new chapter:
24.media.tumblr.com/tumblr_lm8hgbBtmv1qja33lo1_500.gif
3460922
rainbow has a thing for max, and now that she knows hes sapient that just made him all the more desirable. there is also the whole hormone thing/heat and what not. seriously thou, rainbow has gotten closer to getting it with max then twilight, she just needs to mare up and be all like "you and me max, bedroom, NOW!"
Can't wait for the next chapter!'
3460922 Obviously Rainbow wants to have sexy fun time with the human, because all the mares love humans in that sexual way.
Although so far the author hasn't explained why that is, so I'm going to guess. My guess is that all the mares want to rut the humans because they are unknowingly being controlled by Bronies, who have the ability to influence, but not completely control, their minds.
Meet the Mentor.
Dun-Dun-DUN.
hehe horny Dash is best Dash. I think we all wanna see some rainbow lovin'
It just gets better and better.
DON'T LEAVE IT THERE GOD DAMNIT!!!!!
Look, a distraction!!!
My mind keeps asking me why Max didn't just push Dash away. I know the situation was there for the lolz, but the logical part of my brain is saying that since the current ponies know he is intelligent he doesn't need to play dumb, so he could have just pushed her away.
Grats on completing your midterms
If you didn't give this chapter your "full attention" when writing it, then I'm a little scared to see how good the next few chapters are gonna be XD
That being said keep up the ace work champ! Now go get a pizza and relax or something.
3460114
Better then Tuesdays.
i.imgur.com/I8pEZge.gif
3460171 This is why I shouldn't edit at night ;_;
3460086 Yeah, shit+shit=shit.
I am so glad this continues to update. So many stories right now that I like that are just dead and never going to be picked back up.
Hey, looking at the bright side, he dodged the bullet when it came to Twilight's rage.
I'm a bit confused. What made Twilight realize Max knew about his eye?
Yay, dark humor!
Nice chapter.
I'm actually on the part right after Max is saved, but I have to know whether or not it is explained how he was human-napped in broad daylight in public and in the view of a bunch of ponies without any suspicion. If you seriously had it done for the mere convenience of having some action than I will probably stop reading this. I absolutist hate nonsensical, out-of-left-field, unexplained happenstance in stories.
Besides the fact that it is obviously bad in itself, it also shows severe inadequacies in the writer as they must not have the creative ability or focus to be able to come up with well thought out and logical ways to achieve emotional high points within the story. I'm not upset that Max was captured and forced to fight, but I am upset that you didn't do it in a believable way. Have them lure him into a dark alleyway, capture him in the dead of night, for goodness sakes, have a unicorn put an inconspicuous sleep spell on him and nonchalantly teleport him away. But don't expect readers to believe somepony can commit blatant assault and drag the victim away without a single pony taking notice.
That's honestly the biggest weakness of your story, the lack of realistic characters and events. Hopefully you can improve this in any future writing and perhaps even re-write this piece when you do. Good luck.
3463254 i do believe it's explained. something about "nothing to see here, move along" spell.
Quick run for the hills
this wont end well
Rainbow is in heat and apparently in love with max you got all my YYYYYYEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEEESSSSSSSSSSSSSS¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡¡
3465211
If that is seriously why no one took notice, than it is just as bad as not explaining it at all. Why think of a good reason when you can just say, "Magic, that's why!" Honestly, I was always under the impression that most unicorns could barely do anything above levitation and one or two magical skills that go with their special talents. If the average unicorn could perform such amazing feats of magic, they would rule all of Equestria.
On a side note, why does the author keep having Twilight say no "Harmonious" magic is preventing him from talking? The fact that she is specifying the type means she is thinking along the lines of harmony and chaos and as such should have almost immediately thought of chaotic magic as potentially being the cause. If you just had her say there was no magic she could sense, then I would have found it believable when the chaos magic came to light and she didn't find it because she wasn't looking for it (though I find even that hard to believe).
That brings us to Discord, why would he choose a complete moron with no discernible abilities to do whatever he wants the human to do. If inter-dimensional travel is so common as for the Mane6 to know of and be able to perform it with enough ease as to have one of their wacky adventures with Universe 63, then Discord, who is infinity more powerful and experienced than Twilight, should have been able to hand-select the perfect human for the job. Why not choose a skilled and just police officer, a scientist, a wise and intelligent prodigy, a shaolin monk, or anyone besides the Average Joe Mcdonalds worker.
And, while I'm on the subject of humans, I mise as well jump on the bandwagon of why ponies would want to have sex with humans. From the descriptions, even if ponies found these ugly things physically attractive, why would they want to have sex with them? They are less intelligent than any other animal around and are violent as their own actions, FlutterShy's inability to talk to them, and the caution ponies have of them show. Then their is the penis, unless Max is HUGE, than these primitive humans must have dicks under six inches long and the girth of a pencil. Unless pony stallions are hung like puppies, I can't see the desire. There are a bunch of far less dangerous animals in Equestria to have sex with than these beasts you've created.
Oh, and I can't wait to see what excuse the author makes for why Discord would want to prevent him from talking.
3465418 whoa there, i'm not an author, just a reader, no need to lash out on me. everything will be explained, and so far i haven't seen a single thing that would give me even the slightest reason to think of something going unexplained. sure, i remember that part about "harmonous" magic. so far every unexplained thing is adding much needed mysterious flavour to the story. it would be no fun to read 2 chapters and already see through the "plot twist" like it happened in Battlefield 4.
3465418 3463254 I thank you for your comments, as well as your opinion, and must ask if you have any more issues with the story that you wish to bring up. Any amount of criticism helps, and I appreciate both positive and negative feedback.
As for your points, I can understand the 'magic as an answer' one, but that's kinda what happens when you have magical creatures in the story, and unicorns are indeed magical.
As for the other issues, I will try my best to explain them in future chapters. That's all I can say about them right now.
Thank you for taking time to post your thoughts, and please have a great day, and happy readings!
hey atleast he didn't lose an arm or a leg
And now I wait for the new chapters to update. *yay*
3465418 I'm confused about the human attraction as well. I wouldn't be if these humans looked like...well humans but I picture them as extremely ugly and primal, not to mention they're as dumb as a bucket of sand. As is, the general public acceptance of human on pony sexual activity doesn't add up.
Sure a small amount of ponies willing to do such things with these humans would be believable. Just consider that there are humans in real life that are okay with doing such things to their dogs, horses, and goats and whatever else they can stick their pecker in or vice versa.
With that said I like the story enough to suspend my disbelief for it.
To author turned on Rainbow Dash = hot