• Member Since 11th Jun, 2012
  • offline last seen Oct 17th, 2018

Esle Ynopemos

Was that me? Or was it... somepony else?


The one thing about Canterlot that really got to Rarity was the rain. Not that the rain itself was terribly onerous—it actually rained less there than it did in most of the surrounding areas, since it took less rain to water the small parks and gardens than it did to keep farmland healthy. But the nature of the rain was so... inorganic. Without exception, every Tuesday and Thursday the weatherponies would begin gathering clouds in the early evening and there would be a light drizzle that lasted from seven thirty on into the night.

Rarity gets caught in the rain and catches a case of homesickness.

Chapters (1)
Comments ( 9 )

Rather nice, little expanded thing of that one thing you already did.

Padded out quite nicely, though.

Should this not be also tagged Slice of Life, though? It gave me that vibe, indeed.

I like the allusion to rain. It does set a nice parallel, especially there at the end. It's a small, quick read, but a rather feel-good one. I oddly don't find it sad at all, rather than... melancholic.


Here, for you:


It's good. But... I dunno, I was kinda hoping you'd expand on something with a little more pep to it.

This isn't sad, really, just kind of a moderate downer.

2757765 Mmh, maybe [Slice of Life] is called for here. The [Sad] tag by itself is a little misleading; I suspect some folks came in expecting some kind of major tear-jerker or something. But for obvious reasons, there is no [A Little Bit Melancholic, But Nothing Big] tag.

2759050 Have you got any recommendations on what you think I should expand on next? This one clearly didn't do as well as I hoped.

2764524 Hell, dunno. I'd have to re-read some of them. Not happening tonight. I'll try to remember that for later...

I haven't been following your thirty minute pony prompts, so I don't know what the difference between this and the original is, what has been expanded or added, or whether this is any improvement.

But I can say that on its own, this is a very good little slice of life short. You've captured the feeling of missing home perfectly. It's always those little things about where you grew up, the little things you never notice until you've lived somewhere else for an extended period of time, that make reminiscing about home feel so glum. And once again, you captured that feeling perfectly. Using the rain as the centerpiece was a small stroke of brilliance, and it's a clever take on the prompt.

Now, I only have one real criticism, and it's a missed opportunity more than anything else. Every place you'll ever live has those little things that make it special, both home and where you move to. If you wished to expand this some, you could have explored that direction. You've shown us what Rarity has lost in moving to Canterlot, but what has she gained? What are those little things about Canterlot that she misses when she leaves? It would be a more interesting story if Rarity was both happy and unhappy about her home in Canterlot, and it would make this feel significantly less one-sided.

2789415 That is actually a very good insight, and something I hadn't thought of. This would sit easier in its Slice of Life category and be an overall more pleasant thing to read if there was some kind of counterpoint to it to show that Rarity wasn't depressed and homesick all the time she's in Canterlot.

Randomly wandered in here, I think from Cloudy's page. This is certainly under appreciated. The only slightly jarring thing to me was the coincidence that Rartiy was already thinking about the rain, and then she gets a letter from AJ that also talks about the rain. Applejack ended up feeling a bit psychic. However, for a 30 minute prompt, this was very well done.

2962350 Well, it's springtime, so it would be raining a lot, so it's not that far-fetched of a coincidence they would both happen to be thinking about rain.

I'm glad you liked it, though. Thanks for the random wandering!

Hey neat, that was a surprise. I wasn't sure who wrote this story or what it was called, so I did a Google search for "Rarity Rain Canterlot site:fimfiction.net" and this was the very first result. I thought I'd have to dig through pages of results to find it. Although, I actually wondered if it might've been by you, so I should have just checked that first.

Anyway, I've occasionally thought of this story ever since I first read it (probably when it was brand new), so I can't believe I never commented on this, and I'm glad I found it again. Not only was Rarity's homesickness very relatable, but I couldn't help but see a second meaning in it, more about life in general. People seem to like everything to be more predictable and more controlled, but at what point are you losing something by removing that element of unpredictability?

Login or register to comment