• Member Since 20th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Aug 11th, 2014

MoonSketch


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Derpy Hooves could easily be cast out of society because of her wall-eyed look, even so she didn't really care about it until now when she meets Lightning Dust an old classmate from school at the party after Twilight has been crowned as a princess. Because of Lightning Dust Derpy completely ruins the party! Now she knows that she will be completely cast out of society, but not with the help of a new friend she makes.

Chapters (12)
Comments ( 14 )

Well, this is certainly interesting...

It's your first story here, right? Well then, props for writing a story. The idea here is pretty cute, actually, and I think the idea of Lightning Dust bullying Derpy or just being herself in new situations in general is interesting.

Nobody asked for my advice, so don't worry about anything I say, but I believe this could help you out in the future. See, the story can be good, but stuff like grammatical errors, flow, and typos can be distracting. It's nice to double-check, or especially to have someone else double-check, what you write before you post it. Also, read every sentence you write out loud-- make sure that it sounds really good. Remember, you're not just listing events; you're communicating emotions as well.

Finally, there are two pieces of advice I've gotten from two very different people. The first is about writing, and it was an author on this site who said it to me: Read. Read voraciously. Read really good books, read a number of different authors and styles, and pay close attention to every aspect of what they write. Learn from the best. The second piece of advice I got from Mic the Microphone, and it's actually about music, but I've found that it applies to pretty much everything. I asked him what I should do, since I had no talent. He said, "Dude. No one is talentless. It's just how hard you're willing to work."

So keep writing! Write a ton! Write all the time! Write about all kinds of stuff, anywhere, any way you can. That's the best way to become a really great writer-- or anything, really. Just do it. All. The. Time.

Anyway, cool beans, and I look forward to seeing more of your work in the future!

Pax!

--FF (DJ DJ)

This story is good keep it up! :derpytongue2:

thank you for the advice, but yes I have read many things which inspire me to write and plus my bad grammer can be because of my first language which is spanish so kinda explains it

Yay! Reference to the molestia comics at start!

call me maybe? minecraft? :facehoof: :derpytongue2:

E3???? E 3 WOW you are awesome :rainbowwild::derpytongue2:

derpy has a youtube? :unsuresweetie: AWESOME!

"Wow we got a bad ass over hear!" :facehoof: :derpytongue2:

cute fic idea but a bit too telly for my tastes. I suggest finding an editor or PR to help you polish it as this is a really fun idea.:twilightsmile:

I read this a long time ago before I had my account, and now I have refound it. Yay.:yay: This story deserves a lot more likes.:twilightsmile:

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