• Published 20th Jun 2013
  • 9,164 Views, 760 Comments

Technicalities - BionicBrony



After being forced from their home, a master engineer and his AI end up in Twilight's basement, their only desire to rebuild what they lost. Although not everything is as straightforward as it seems...

  • ...
41
 760
 9,164

Wrapping up Winter

“Alright, just set ‘em down right there – gently!”

Applejack moved a step back as Guy sat the two snow plows beside the ten he’d already carried over, which he had carried all the way from their storeroom near town hall over his shoulders. It would have normally taken well over an hour to get all two dozen snow plows to the field they were supposed to clear, but thanks to Guy, it didn’t take any longer than half that time. Once the plows were set down, Guy looked over at Applejack.

Applejack raised a hoof and smiled. “Good work, Guy! Could you go get those last two?”

Guy’s yellow eyes blinked green as he stood back up and wordlessly left to go retrieve the remaining plows.

Twilight Sparkle, pulling her new tablet from her newly minted Winter Wrap Up All Team Organizer vest, checked off another item on her checklist. “And that’s plows. I have to admit, AJ, I’m impressed! Thanks to Guy, we’re way ahead of schedule!”

Applejack chuckled. “You ain’t the only one who’s impressed. The only pony Ah ever saw who was that strong is Big Mac, and even then Ah think Guy’s got ‘em beat.”

“Well he was built that way, remember?”

“Ah know, Ah know.” Applejack smirked. “Heh, now that Ah think about it, Ah can’t help but wonder if Alex was tryin’ to one-up Big Mac…”

“That reminds me; I’ve been meaning to ask you what everypony in your family thinks of Guy now that it’s been a little over a month. Has he changed much since Hearth’s Warming Eve?”

“Not really,” Applejack said with a shrug, “and things are as good as Ah could’ve asked for when it comes to the family. Granny Smith still doesn’t really give a hoot, so she’s as cheery as ever, and Apple Bloom still thinks he’s the coolest thing in Equestria. He and Big Mac seem to get along, but then again, neither of them never really say much unless they really have to. Although, Big Mac still beats ‘em as far as quietness goes.”

“If Alex’s predictions are right, something tells me he might become a little more talkative sooner or later.”

“Maybe. Hey, speaking of Alex, where is he, anyway? Ah didn’t see him at the town meetin’ earlier.”

“He told me he’d be at the field at eight o’clock.”

“But isn’t it eight right now?”

“No, it’s seven fifty seven.”

Applejack quirked a brow at her. “How the hay do you know that?

Twilight levitated the tablet over to her and pointed to the lower corner of the screen with her stylus, which read 7:57 and suddenly blinked to 7:58.

Applejack blinked at it. “Huh… Well ain’t that convenient…”

“Isn’t it?” Twilight grinned.

“Anyway, do you have any idea what Alex is gonna do to help out with the field? He seemed pretty eager.”

Twilight shrugged. “I have no idea. He told me that he made something to help melt the snow, but other than that, you know just as much as I do.”

Applejack chuckled. “Knowin’ him, it’s probably some fancy new gizmo or somethin’. Whatever it is, I just hope it respects Ponyville tradition enough.”

Twilight chuckled in turn. “Knowing him, that’s probably asking for a bit much.”

Their attention was suddenly drawn away at the honk of a low pitched horn. Turning in the direction of the sound, they found two Hellbenders approaching them, each with a large, bright yellow snow plow on the front. The leading vehicle came to a stop in front of them, but the other made a U-turn and backed up beside to the first, presenting the two mares with a large, odd looking dull green machine that was sitting on the end of the truck’s bed.

Whatever it was, it was big and bulky, but symmetrical. It seemed to have two devices on either side that vaguely looked like arms, although instead of hands, they sported something hollow and cylindrical whose actual function escaped them. The new logo Alex had come to use, which looked like an inverted, five-pointed star with the word “LIANDRI” printed on it, was painted on the front of whatever it was supposed to be, and flanked by what looked like two vertical rectangular headlights.

Other curious workers, who were waiting for the order from Applejack or Twilight to start clearing the snow from the field, came over as a Blue stepped out of the driver’s seat of the second Hellbender and made its way to the back of the vehicle.

“Um, excuse me, but where’s Alex?” Twilight asked the Blue.

The Liandri completely ignored her and proceeded to knock on the machine resting on the back of the Hellbender twice. Almost instantly, a large rectangular hatch just above the Liandri logo lifted up with a loud whirring noise to reveal Alex – or rather, his head.

“Hello!” Alex chirped.

The two ponies gave him a puzzled look. “Alex, what in the hay are you sittin’ in?” asked Applejack.

“What? This?” said Alex, indicating downward with his head. He grinned. “It’s called an Exosuit! Or more specifically, the BioMech Body Armor and Augmentation System!” He paused for a second before adding “Mark Two!”

Applejack turned to Twilight. “Twi, help me out here…” Twilight just shrugged back at her.

Alex chuckled maliciously. “Here, allow me to show you!”

Without further prompting, Alex inhaled deeply through his nostrils and closed his eyes. A moment later, the machine hummed to life and the hatch closed back over his head, fully encasing him in darkness. However, like the Scorpion and Hellbenders, the interior of the hatch quickly lit up, revealing the world in front of him, going from a pixilated mess to perfect clarity in almost no time at all. At the same time, a deep, synthetic voice sounded inside the cramped compartment Alex’s head was in. “INITIATING SYSTEM.

On the outside, everypony looked on as the Exosuit raised itself up, revealing a set of heavily armored digitigrade legs that were originally folded up underneath it, with hydraulic supports connected to the knee and the joint in the foot. Its arms also came to life, raising themselves so that their elbows were almost at a ninety degree bend. Twilight also noticed hoses on the underside of each arm that snaked around the Exosuit’s back, although she couldn’t figure out what they were for.

With all the grace Alex could muster, the Exosuit stepped off the back of the Hellbender and landed on the ground with a loud clunk. The first thing everypony noticed was how big the thing actually was. Alex was already tall by human standards, but the Exosuit easily granted him three extra feet in height. If the legs were fully extended, it would probably add even more. As it was, it wasn’t quite as big as Guy, but it was pretty close.

The hatch opened up to reveal Alex again, only this time, his right eye was glowing a dim green. It wasn’t terribly bright, but it was definitely noticeable. Alex paced back and forth for a few steps and held the suit’s arms out, allowing everypony to take it all in. “Well, what do you think? Pretty neat, huh?”

Twilight quickly gasped to herself. “Oh, I get it!” She eyed the suit’s dimensions and quickly noticed something. “Hey, wait a second, how are you controlling those arms? They’re way too high up and far apart for your actual arms to be in them.”

Alex pointed one of the arms at her. “Astute observation, my good mare! I’m actually curled up in this little compartment above the legs. Not exactly the most comfortable thing ever, though, I’ll admit that… But I digress. I’m actually controlling the entire suit via a direct BCI uplink, so my real arms and legs don’t have to do anything. You can tell since my eye should be glowing right now… Hey, don’t give me that look, I’ve been practicing…”

“For your sake, Ah hope you have,” Applejack deadpanned.

“Right… Anyway…” Twilight brought her tablet back in front of her and cleared her throat. “Alex, as you know, I’m in charge of coordinating this year’s Winter Wrap Up. It’s my job to make sure everypony does their part, and that they do something they’re good at. You told me that you were going to help melt the snow. So, care to tell me how you’re going to do it?”

“With these.” Alex raised up both mechanical arms and gave a smug smile. “It’s a simple setup. Just a couple of high pressure kerosene sprayers with –” A small blow torch on the end of each arm shot to life. “– an effective source of ignition. Gonna clear this place right up in no time, you’ll see.”

Applejack didn’t quite understand what he was describing, but Twilight’s growing look of horror told her enough to know that it wasn’t good. When the gear in her head finally turned, Twilight’s eyes bugged out. “WHAT?!” Her outburst was sudden enough to cause Applejack to jump, and Alex to take a surprised step back. Twilight wasn’t done, though. She stomped her hoof down and shook her head violently. “No! No no no! Absolutely not!

“Uh, Twi? Just what exactly did Alex want to do?” asked Applejack.

“He wanted to melt the snow using flamethrowers!” Twilight yelled, keeping her stern gaze fixated on Alex. Applejack’s eyes shot wide open and her jaw dropped as she slowly moved her head to look at him in turn.

Alex looked between them in confusion for a few moments before shrugging. “What?”

“Are you insane?!” Twilight barked at him. “Nopony is ever going to let you melt the snow by torching the place! What made you think this was even a good idea in the first place? What did Rose say?”

“I told him this was a terrible idea and that this exact thing would happen,” came Rose’s voice from somewhere inside the open Exosuit.

Alex looked down at the small dashboard of his suit. “Hey, you shut up! You’re not helping!”

Twilight help up her hoof. “She’s right, Alex. I’m sorry, but I’m not going to let you use this thing to help with Winter Wrap Up.”

“Not even a little bit?” Alex squeaked.

NO!” Twilight stomped her hoof again for emphasis.

The torches on the end of the arms sputtered out as the entire Exosuit sagged. “Aww…”

Twilight’s expression softened. “I’m sorry, Alex, but I’m sure you understand that what you want to do is much too dangerous. As the organizer, I also have to make sure nopony gets hurt, either. Plus, Ponyville has Winter Wrap Up traditions that need to be followed – I of all ponies should know that – and gratuitous amounts of fire is not a part of them.”

Applejack bit her tongue as the image of what could of happened played out in her mind.

Alex released a long, guilt ridden sigh. “I’m not exactly a stickler for tradition but… Yeah, I get it… No Exosuit… Could you at least use the Hellbenders?”

Twilight looked too AJ for her approval, who simply rolled her eyes. “It ain’t a part of Ponyville tradition, but Ah guess it wouldn’t hurt.”

“I can direct the Hellbenders, and you can direct the plow ponies?” Twilight asked Applejack.

“Ah’m good with that. Now where the hay is Guy…?”

“Alright, at least that’s settled,” said Alex. “But that still leaves me with nothing to do and an Exosuit with a full tank of kerosene on its back.”

“Why don’t you go help Rarity make bird’s nests?” Twilight proposed with a smile, the same kind of smile you’d give a child when suggesting they play somewhere else. “You’re really good at making things with your hands; you’ll be a natural at it!”

Alex grimaced. “Bird’s nests? Really? You have to make their nests for them?”

“Well they can make their own, but we’re just there to give them a head start, that’s all!”

Alex sighed and began his walk back to town, clanking with every step. “Fiiiine, I’ll go help her. I’m gonna keep wearing the suit, though. Didn’t bring a coat.”

“Good luck!” Twilight waved after him.

As Alex left the field, he crossed paths with Guy, who had green eyes at the time, and was carrying a pair of pony snow plows over his shoulders, as well as Apple Bloom who was riding on his back with her hooves wrapped around his neck and the biggest grin on her face. An adorable sight, if anything, and even though Alex had the Exosuit’s hatch lowered as he passed, preventing them from seeing his face, he couldn’t help but smile at them.


“How does this one look, Rarity?” asked Spike, holding up a newly minted bird’s nest with a little red bow-tie on it. The two of them were sitting at a round wooden table Rarity had set up just outside of Carousel Boutique, which is what she did every year.

Rarity looked up from her own work in progress and beamed at him. “That’s perfect, Spike! Just keep it up and we’ll be done in no time!”

“Yes, ma’am!” Spike gently placed the nest on the growing pile of them and retrieved a new basket kit with fresh materials. Just as Spike began to build a new nest, he perked up. “Hey, you hear that?”

“Hear what, Darling?” asked Rarity, although she was now concentrated on her own task.

“That stomping… Kinda sounds like Guy, I think…”

Rarity looked up and focused her ears. “Hmm… Sounds vaguely like him, yes… But isn’t he supposed to be helping Applejack in the field?”

Their question was answered when they both scanned down the road and found the source of the disturbance, which certainly wasn’t Guy. The Exosuit clanked its way down the snowy cobblestone road until it reached the table Spike and Rarity were sitting at. Only then did the hatch whir open and reveal its pilot.

“Hi,” Alex said simply.

Rarity blinked at him for a few moments. “Alex? What in Equestria are you wearing?”

“An Exosuit.”

“I beg your pardon?”

“It’s a big robot suit with funny looking hands, what else could it be?” said Spike, who was unconsciously playing with a piece of straw.

“Well yes, I understand that, but…” She looked back at Alex. “Why are you wearing that here?

Alex sighed and lowered the Exosuit to its knees. “Well I was gonna use it to help melt the snow, but as it turns out, nobody wants me to help because my original idea to melt the snow was ‘too dangerous.’”

Spike perked a brow. “Huh? What was your idea?”

Alex smirked and raised the Exosuit’s arms. “Flamethrowers.”

“Whoa! That sounds awesome!”

Rarity rolled her eyes. “Ugh, males… Honestly, I don’t get this fascination of yours regarding fire outside of where it belongs: in a fireplace.”

“Well Spike’s a dragon, so there’s that, and I’m…” Alex paused. He glanced at each flamethrower before giving her a shrug. “Well I don’t really have an excuse, but it seemed like a fun idea at the time, so I went with it. Anyway, all that aside, I’m here to help you make bird’s nests. Since, you know, crafty hands and whatnot.”

Rarity smiled at him. “Your assistance will certainly be appreciated, Alex. Although I don’t think you’re going to be making any nests while you’re still wearing that thing.”

Alex sighed inwardly. “Yeah… Sorry, but it’s really cozy in here, and I didn’t bring my coat with me. Oh well, might as well bite the bullet one last time…” Alex inhaled deeply and the front of the Exosuit leaned away from the back, giving him just enough room to wiggle out. However, as he was climbing out, the final remnants of winter began their assault on his exposed skin. “Whoo, it’s still chilly out here!”

“Do you need me to run inside and get you something?” asked Rarity. It didn’t take a genius to know that Alex’s short sleeve shirt wasn’t doing him any favors with the current weather.

“Nah, forget it.” Alex grabbed a nearby hay bale by its string bindings and dumped it next to the table to act as a chair. As he sat down, he began rubbing his hands together, although whether it was in anticipation of employing his craft or to just keep warm was anypony’s guess. “Besides, I’m Canadian! I’ve got a plus ten natural resistance to cold!”

Rarity raised an eyebrow. “You’re what?”

“Just give me a basket.”


“My name is Alexander Michael Laythem. I am twenty eight years old, and a master of mechanical, structural, robotics, and biomedical engineering. I am a scientist, and a physicist whose fields range all the way from basic Newtonian mechanics to Quantum physics. On my own, I have accomplished more in the last few years than entire teams of researchers accomplish in their entire lives. I am the father of the Liandri bots, masterpieces in and of themselves, and creator of the most advanced power source in the known universe. And yet for some reason, I can’t make a simple! FFFFFFFF-freaking! BIRD’S NEST!” The nest in question promptly fell apart in front of him, and Alex smashed his fists against the table. “GOD DAMMIT!

Spike was trying his hardest to contain his laughter, but he was having an extremely tough time doing it. Unfortunately, it had been going this way for over an hour. Every time he failed, Alex made some curse or another, grit his teeth, and had another go at mashing bits of sticks, straw, and ribbon together in the hopes of making something even remotely nest-like. He was so concentrated on just trying to build a single nest that even the cold stopped registering in his mind.

Rarity, however, wasn’t quite revealing in the same feeling of schadenfreude as Spike was. Something in the back of her mind was screaming at her to try to calm Alex down, but the more rational part of her argued that trying that probably wouldn’t have been a good idea. “Spike, that’s enough!” she hissed. “He’s having a difficult enough time as it is, and you’re not helping him by doing that!” She turned to Alex with a soft look. “Alex, you seem a little tired to me. How much sleep did you get last night?”

“I got about five hours of sleep twenty four hours ago,” Alex rattled out. Another attempt at a nest fell apart in front of him. “What the ffffffffff-neeaarrrgghh!” He shoved himself away from the table and began pacing some distance away, incoherently mumbling to himself and drawing invisible symbols in the air with his fingers.

Rarity stared after him. “Only five hours of sleep? And he’s already been awake for twenty four hours? That’s absurd! He needs to be in bed, not out and about like this!”

“That’s actually kinda normal for him,” said Spike, who went back to putting together another nest. “When he was still living with me and Twilight, the only time I ever really saw him sleep was during the first day he was here. After that, he always went to bed late, got up early, and stayed up for like, thirty six hours at a time.” Spike looked at Rarity square in the eyes. “And don’t even get me started on how much coffee he drank.”

Rarity slowly shook her head and looked back towards Alex, who was still pacing and muttering to himself. She spoke up after a few moments. “Well, I will admit I am impressed by how well he’s censoring himself… He may be frustrated, but at least he’s keeping his composure. Er… More or less…”

Spike shrugged. “I lost track of his close calls half an hour ago.”

“You should see him when none of you are around,” came Rose’s voice from still open Exosuit, immediately drawing their attention. “He swears quite a bit on a regular basis.”

Rarity furrowed her brows at the unmoving Exosuit. “Really? But he’s such a gentlecolt! I’ve never heard him swear once before! I find it hard to imagine that he does it on a regular basis.”

“Believe me, even I’m impressed he’s able to segregate an entire section of his vocabulary when addressing anyone but myself, but it’s the truth.”

Rarity quickly glanced towards Alex to see if he was listening, but he was still pacing and seemed completely oblivious to their existence. “But why would he ever speak that way at all?”

“He understands that so called ‘swear words’ are just that: words. Their negative connotations are completely arbitrary. They are labeled ‘bad’ for no actual reason other than they simply are, and as such, he sees no legitimate reason to not use them when he sees fit. Of course, I never cared to begin with, which is why it doesn’t bother me.”

“Huh, I never thought of it that way before…” said Spike.

“Don’t get any ideas,” Rarity growled at him.

Spike held up his claws defensively. “I’m not! I’m not!”

Rarity turned back towards the Exosuit. “Well thank you, Rose. That was… er… enlightening…” She turned her attention back to Alex, who was still pacing. She sighed. “Alex, darling, it’s alright! Spike and I can make the rest of the nests. Maybe there’s something else you could do to help with–”

Alex cut her off by slamming a fist into the table and glaring at her, his eye glowing a vibrant green. “This shit will not beat me!” he roared before pushing himself away again to resume his pacing. His eye reverted back almost instantly.

Rarity and Spike recoiled from his outburst and gawked at him for several seconds. Of all the reactions they expected from Alex, that definitely wasn’t one of them. Eventually Spike broke their silence. “And he was doing such a good job, too.”

“AHA! I’VE GOT IT!” Alex suddenly exclaimed. Without any explanation, he quickly made his way to squeeze himself back into the Exosuit with the cheekiest grin on his face.

“Alex, where are you going?” asked Rarity, confusion sprawled all over her expression.

Alex grinned maniacally at her. “To make the best bird’s nest you’ve ever seen!” The Exosuit’s hatch closed and he immediately stood up and began thundering back down the road, most likely pushing the suit to go faster than it was ever meant to go.

“Oh boy… We all know what that look means…” said Spike.

“I know what it means on Twilight, but what does it mean on him?”

“I don’t know, but honestly, I don’t want to know.”

Inside the Exosuit, Alex was already issuing orders. “Rose, I need you to prep the spare Hellbender, four Axons, and all my carpentry tools. All of them! Oh, and get the sketch program set up on one of the projectors in the garage.”

“I sincerely hope you’re not about to do something incredibly stupid.”

“Depends on how you define stupid!”


Sometime later…

The Hellbender jerked to a sudden stop a couple of kilometers outside of Ponyville’s border, far away from other ponies and directly in front of a magnificent oak tree. It may have been stripped of its leaves, but even then, it was still a mighty sight to behold. Its tall trunk was easily a meter and a half wide and its numerous branches spread out in every direction. In the summer, it was probably the perfect place to sit down in its shade and simply read a good book. Alex stepped out of the driver side door and admired the beautiful work of nature with his own two eyes.

“Wow…” Alex whispered to himself, a smile teasing his lips. “Look at you… You’re just amazing… You’re just… perfect…”

Alex let himself smile as he put his safety glasses over his eyes and slowly made his way to the back of the Hellbender, a thin layer of snow crunching beneath his boots. All four Axons resting in the back hopped out at a single hand gesture and landed with loud clunks, ready for their orders.

With the bed of the truck clear, Alex reached in and hefted out a large chainsaw. He was never exactly a physically impressive individual by any definition, but Alex lifted the tool without complaint. “Just perfect…” As he made his way back to the tree, his eye began to glow bright green. Alex’s right hand slowly wrapped around the handle of the starter cord.

“They want a bird’s nest…?”

He pulled on the chainsaw’s cord once.

“I’ll give them a bird’s nest…”

He pulled the cord again.

“I’ll give them the best fucking bird’s nest they’ve ever seen…”

With a grunt of effort, he pulled the cord a final time and the chainsaw roared to life. He gave it a few test revs and his smile quickly turned into a scowl.

Nobody outdoes me…”


Noon the next day…

The weather was gorgeous. It was the only thing anypony could say to describe the new day. It had only been twenty eight hours, but in that time, spring had launched itself into full swing. All of the snow in and around town had already been melted, the southern birds had already been brought back by the pegasus teams, the lakes had been thawed, the hibernating animals woken up, the clouds cleared, crops planted… Even the trees had already begun growing their leaves. Any indication that winter had been dominant just one day before had been completely wiped away.

As was Ponyville tradition, almost every able-bodied pony that had helped clean up winter gathered on a nearby hill that overlooked the town to get debriefed by the mayor. Attendance wasn’t necessary, but everypony loved to go anyway, just to see their beautiful town in all its glory after such a long period of blanketing snow. Although, by human standards, a winter that suddenly vanished in early February didn’t exactly merit the award for “longest winter ever.”

At the overlook, everypony had gathered for the mayor’s debriefing. The team captains, as well as the rest of Twilight’s friends who didn’t have leading roles, stood at the front of the crowd, with Twilight Sparkle standing next to Mayor Mare. Guy stood behind them and silently looked over Ponyville, completely ignoring the debriefing behind him. One of his arms was raised up and idly holding on to a low lying branch of a nearby tree, which was beginning to sag with the weight Guy was applying to it.

Rose, to the surprise of many, was also personally present, and standing next to Guy with a basic civilian chassis that was similar to the one she used on Nightmare Night, though without horns and various other pointy bits. The size difference between the two Liandri was almost comical. Although unlike Guy, Rose was actually facing the mayor and the rest of the crowd with a straight posture and her hands held behind her back.

Rose didn’t actually intend to be at the debriefing and, in fact, never intended to help with Winter Wrap Up in the first place. However, she was unfortunately called upon to help when Twilight found that she wasn’t quite able to direct and organize the donated Hellbenders effectively, or even at all. With Twilight’s other organizer responsibilities calling her, she was forced to outsource the task to the only individual capable of doing it. Under Rose’s directives, the two Hellbenders were put to the task of pushing the growing snow banks at the edges of the field toward the Everfree forest. Just as fast as the two dozen ponies could push to the field’s edge, the Hellbenders could push it clear out of town. At the insistence of Twilight, Rose decided to attend the debriefing, figuring she might as well receive some recognition for spending that processing power.

However, the one person who wasn’t present was Alex.

“Thank you for being here, everypony!” the mayor started. “It is with great pleasure that I announce, that winter had not only been wrapped up on time, but early!”

A cheer arose from the crowd.

Once the crowd quieted down, the mayor continued. “As I’m sure you all remember, thanks to Twilight Sparkle’s organizational skills and all our hard work, we had just managed to wrap up winter on time last year, despite our late start. This year, with her leading from the very beginning, we did even better!”

The crowd cheered again, and Twilight took a silent bow, her smile saying everything she needed to.

“But as I’m sure many of you are aware,” the mayor continued, “there are two more individuals whom I would like to recognize for their efforts to help clean up winter faster than ever before.” She indicated behind her. “Guy and Rose!”

A third cheer, although the cheers from the members of the Apple family could be clearly heard over everypony else. Rose merely nodded in silent acknowledgement, while Guy turned to face the crowd. A pair of green “eyes” dotted his black face, but a curved line underneath them was present as well, giving him a simple green smiley face. He nodded as well. “I’m happy to help whenever I can.”

As the mayor continued to give everypony a speech about everypony’s hard work over the past twenty eight hours, Twilight glanced around the crowd and blinked at Alex’s absence. She walked over to Rose, who, while acknowledging Twilight’s presence, continued to look over the crowd. “Hey, where’s Alex? I thought he’d be here.”

“He’ll be arriving shortly. In fact, he’s on his way here right now.”

Twilight looked back at the crowd and frowned in thought. “It’s usually not like him to be late…”

“He’s been busy, lately,” Rose said simply, never breaking her gaze.

Twilight glanced at Rose curiously. “Doing what?”

“Look down the hill.”

As if on cue, two low pitched honks cut off the mayor’s speech and drew everypony’s attention towards the town, or rather, what was coming towards them. A single Hellbender was driving up the hill, but that wasn’t what everypony was focused on. It was what the Hellbender was towing behind it that made their collective jaws drop.

Rose redirected her gaze towards it with everypony else. “Making that thing,” she said, answering Twilight’s question.

Trailing behind the Hellbender and secured to a wide flatbed was what looked like a large tree, still standing tall. Many of its limbs were removed, with their remnants sanded down into nothing. Only the thickest branches remained, each of them supporting a number of flat, black panels tightly secured onto the wood. The trunk itself had been completely carved up. Perfectly round holes perforated it everywhere, with the rest carved to imitate a plethora of various architectural styles, ranging everywhere from Ponyville’s own near the base, to modern human architecture near the top. Or at least, the closest thing to it that could be done with pure wood. Even Canterlot and Cloudsdale architecture was visible on it.

Rarity and Spike shared a quick wide-eyed look with each other. Everypony expressed their astonishment as the Hellbender started driving through the crowd to let them get a better look at its precious cargo. Everypony managed to part enough to give it room, but Rose had to remotely apply to brakes when it became apparent to her that the driver wasn’t slowing it down enough.

When the Hellbender actually stopped, the driver’s door flew open and Alex stumbled out. His clothes and hair were completely covered in sawdust and his movements were uncoordinated and exaggerated. Alex threw his hands to the sky. “I DID IT!” He slammed the Hellbender’s door closed. “I WENT AND DID IT!” Alex quickly walked over to the flatbed and attempted to climb up. Just based on the way he was stumbling while he was walking, it wasn’t difficult to figure out that not everything was all hunky-dory with him. Alex’s attempt at climbing up wasn’t much better either, and Rarity briefly ignited her horn to help lift him up.

Alex’s brain didn’t even register the help as he rolled on to flatbed. He stumbled back to his feet and swung his arms out. “This is my contribution to spring!” he slurred. Alex pointed a finger at Rarity, grinning like an idiot and continuing with over exaggerated hand gestures. “It’s a giant, solar powered bird hotel with lots of room and interior LED lighting with these cute little light switches they can use.” He threw his arms apart and looked to the sky. “Best fucking bird’s nest EVER!

Everypony immediately gasped and stared at him in shock. Many parents even held their hooves over their foal’s ears.

Rose rolled her optics. “Here we go…”

Alex’s grin turned into a drunken frown and he lazily swung his arm at the crowd. “Ahhhh shyaat aaaap!” The momentum in his arm caused him to fall against the bird hotel on his opposite shoulder. “I’ve been awake for the past two fucking days and I’m hopped up on… Uh…” His eyes darted towards the sky and he began counting with his fingers. After a few seconds, he continued: “Seven different kinds of stimulants right now! One of them’s caffeine, I… I think… I dunno, I think might have gotten the mix wrong and put them in the wrong order or something cuz I’m kinda feeling out of it right now but the point is…!” He suddenly raised his arm up and inhaled dramatically through his mouth with his eyes widening as well. Everypony could see as clear as day that his left eye was completely bloodshot.

Alex stayed in the pose for a few seconds before slumping against the tree and sliding all the way down the trunk. His face took on a significantly more somber tone. “It’s done…” he breathed, sounding much clearer than before. He breathed heavily a few more times before adding “It’s finally done…”

Everypony in the crowd shared looks with each other. They acknowledged the fact that he had just sworn in front of most of the town not just once but twice, but they also acknowledged that he clearly wasn’t in a sound state of mind.

The perfect excuse for public stupidity.

Rarity took a few steps closer to him, concern clearly etched into her expression. “Alex, when did you make this?”

Alex made a vain attempt to raise an arm, but every time he did, it would just fall back down. “I… I started… yesterday morning…” he breathed. Just that was enough to make him feel lightheaded.

Rarity gasped and covered her mouth with a hoof. “You’ve been making this all night?!”

Alex bobbed his head up and down, his eye lids threatening to close.

This time, Fluttershy approached him, smiling brilliantly. “Alex, this is beautiful! The birds are going to love it!”

A weak smile spread across Alex’s face. “You… You think so…?”

Fluttershy hopped up on the flatbed and patting his shoulder with a hoof. “I know so.”

“Then… then my work… is… is finally…” Alex never finished his sentence. Instead, his eyes finally closed and his head thunked against the tree. After that, his jaw lulled open and the only noise coming from him was snoring.

At this point, everybody shared a hearty laugh at his expense. Even Rose joined in on it, though her chuckling was quieter and harder to notice. When their laughing began to die off, Rarity looked at Rose, her feeling of concern returning to her. “Please tell me you helped him make this.”

Rose crossed her arms. “Of course I did! Do you really think I would let him use wood carving tools while he was like that? After thirty six hours, he loses his coordination significantly, and he did, in fact, take his late-stage stimulants too early. No, I did the carving, he drew the sketches. How he managed to get that much sawdust on himself despite everything still impresses me.”

They shared another laugh, relieved that Alex at least didn’t do anything dangerous. When they stopped, Rainbow Dash spoke up. “Man, this thing is awesome! I wonder what tree you guys used to make it.”


Later that day...

Rainbow Dash stood in front of her favorite napping tree with an open jaw. Or rather, she stood in front the low cut stump that was now in its place.

“Aw come on!”

Author's Note:

MODEL HALL HAS BEEN UPDATED

It's weird. It really is. In all honesty, I never thought I'd get this far with the story but here I am. 117k words in. Things that once existed only in my head have been put into words and brought out for the world to see with a context people can understand.

Holy shit, this is awesome. But you know what's just as awesome, if not more? The fact that people are actually reading this. You guys! Thank you so much for actually giving a fuck! :rainbowkiss: But then again...

You have no idea how long I've wanted to use that picture...

But since you guys have been awesome enough to read all the way up to this point, and hopefully beyond, here are a few fun facts about the story:

Chapter 1 was originally chapters 1, 2, and 3. In fact, you can still see where the chapters would have split. But while I was writing chapter 4, I found I was rushing the story a little too much, and also turning Alex into a Gary Stu. So, I scrapped chapter 4, combined the chapters into one, and did a fuck load of heavy editing, turning it into the chapter that I eventually published.

While Google was a character I planned to introduce at some point, he wasn't Twilight's original gift idea. What WAS her original gift was Alex's old heart, stored in a little container that allows it to continue beating. It was all for the sake of setting up a funny little scene. I scrapped the idea when I took a step back and compared it to what everypony else was getting. I thought to myself: "You know what? This gift SUCKS."

Eakin's Hard Reset, as well as the Exosuit from Natural Selection 2, which makes its appearance here, were what originally inspired Technicalities as a whole. But when I started writing the story, it didn't have much of a plot to it. In fact, it had none. If it feels that the "alien attack" in chapter one was just a plot device to get the story rolling, well guess what: that's exactly what it was. Since then, I've put a metric fuckton more thought into the story, and have actually managed to give those aliens context. What that context is, though, you'll find out later. :raritywink:

My father, of all people, actually reads this story, despite the fact that he isn't a brony. He's an avid science fiction reader, and when I gave him a synopsis of the story I have planned, his exact words were: "This story is a lot deeper than I thought it was... I'm impressed." That said, while my ability to deliver a story is still being tested, I'm sure you guys will love what I have planned. :twilightsmile:

Alrighty, that's it for now. And in case you didn't notice, MODEL HALL HAS BEEN UPDATED

And a special thanks to Rocinante for pre-reading this chapter!