• Published 17th Jun 2013
  • 3,862 Views, 86 Comments

Pinkie and Bluie - Talon and Thorn



After Prince Blueblood and Pinkie Pie met at the Gala, he'd expected it to be a one off thing, like so many times before. So why is he finding it so hard to tell her that?

  • ...
5
 86
 3,862

Chapter 3 - Trip to Ponyville

There had to be at least one thousand ways to leave her.

So why couldn't he bring himself to use any of them?

Because she was there when he needed her the most.

Because she made him happy.


Blueblood decided that in order to cure himself of the strange sickness he was suffering he would meet Pinkie Pie in person again. Obviously his memory was playing tricks on him, if he met her face to face he could renew his recollection of how annoying she was and then he’d be able to let her go. At least that was what he told himself, he thought his logic might be a little strained.

He was taking the train to Ponyville, like a commoner, not even in first class. He could not risk the press finding out where he was going so he was incognito, his cutie mark covered with a long white cloak. He remained impeccably dressed under it though, there were limits to how under cover he would let himself be. He kept his head down avoiding eye contact with his fellow passengers, he caught himself smiling as a herd of foals stampeded down the carriage playing some idiotic game, giggling and screaming at each other, they sounded like her. He shook his head, just his memory playing tricks.

Once he arrived at Ponyville station he was shocked by the state of the town, most buildings had at least one window boarded up and several were taped off as being uninhabitable. He remembered the curse that had befallen the town and felt a bit ashamed of his own, small, part in delaying the funds being released to allow the rebuilding to commence. Still there were signs that repairs had been started. Despite it being summer the skies were overcast, at least the cloud stocks has been replenished.

After wandering the streets for a few minutes Blueblood realised that he didn’t actually know where Pinkie lived, he couldn’t believe that he had not realised this flaw in his plan earlier. Still the town wasn’t that big it shouldn’t be that hard to find her, he knew she worked as a baker. He briefly considered using his mark to find her, but its goals and his own did not seem to match when Pinkie was involved.

It took him longer than expected to find the bakery, a place called Sugar Cube Corner apparently, but once he found it, he could think of nowhere else she would be. Even the place she worked reminded him of her, it was covered with (presumably fake) icing and topped with what looked like a pink cupcake. Gathering his courage Blueblood pushed the door open and stepped into the interior. He had taken no more than a single step into the shop before he was assaulted by a pink blur.

“Bluie!” squealed the blur wrapping itself around him with all of its limbs, “You’re here, did you get my present? I didn’t know your address so I talked to Ditzy and she said to describe it and I thought it was a big house, but Canterlot has lots of big houses and the biggest is the castle and princess Luna is blue as well so it might have ended up with her, which would be great because I don’t think she gets enough cupcakes but I made that one for you so I wracked my noggin for a way to describe your place and I thought it was just so boring so I put that and you got it and you’re here so it all worked out. Although I might have sent out a few dozen other cakes as well and other ponies might have gotten them, but that’s OK because I’m sure they’ll enjoy them.” She finally stopped for a breath.

‘See,’ Blueblood’s brain screamed at him, ‘See how annoying she is, just walk away you don’t even have to say anything, just walk away.’

“Pinkie,” he stuttered. Then he looked into her eyes they were like the bluest skies he’d ever seen, he couldn’t bring himself to make those skies fill with rain. “I came to see you.” he continued lamely.

She gave him another rib crushing hug and turned to the other occupants of the room, a lanky yellow stallion and a plump blue mare who were looking across the counter at them. “Mr and Mrs Cake can I please have the afternoon off, pllleeeeaaasseee!” begged Pinkie.

The stallion stared at him suspiciously while the mare sighed, “Why don’t you finish off the last batch of muffins, while we talk to your ‘friend’ here. When you finish you can take the rest of the day off dearie.”

“Okie, dokie, lokie,” replied Pinkie leaping over the counter and dashing into the kitchen behind.

Several awkward moments passed as a suddenly sweating Blueblood was examined by the Cakes, somehow he felt that he came up lacking.

“So your grace, it’s an honour to have you in our shop,” began Mr Cake breaking the silence as he walked to the door and flipped the sign to closed.

“You, know who I am?” he asked, surprised.

“You were all Pinkie would talk about since the Gala,” said Mrs Cake, “She seemed very taken with you.”

Blueblood felt an unexplained burst of pride.

“Pinkie is a very... friendly filly, we wouldn’t want someone to take advantage of her nature,” she continued with a glare.

The pride suddenly popped like a pink balloon to be replaced by a dirty sort of feeling he didn’t recognise. Whatever it was he seemed to be feeling it more often since Luna’s announcement, he wished it would go away. Was that what he was really doing, had he somehow led her on? He hadn’t meant to.

Mr Cake reached behind the counter and lifted a baseball bat, there seemed to be writing carved on the side, Blueblood couldn’t make it out entirely L something and a longer word ending in rence. He dragged his eyes from the bat and into the stallions gaze.

“What we want to know, Prince,” he somehow made the name rhyme with scum, “Is what are your intentions towards our daugh.., our Pinkie?”

Blueblood was taken aback, they were disapproving parents, or whatever they were to Pinkie. He’d never had to deal with this before, most parents considered him quite the catch and were grateful he’d graced their daughter, or son, with his presence. At least that’s what he’d usually assumed. He considered laughing at the idea that these peasants were warning him off, then he thought of the bat, and it wasn’t quite so funny anymore.

“We remember your father from when he was the representative here,” said Mrs Cake, “He was always chasing the fillies, despite being married. He even came on to me, he said he liked a mare with a lot of flesh on her bones,” venom dripped from her words. “Has the apple fallen far from the tree?”

“I intend no harm to Pinkie,” he said as smoothly as he could, trying to ignore the slur on his family name while simultaneously cursing his father womanising ways, the cakes did not seem convinced. “She was very kind to me at the Gala and I came to tell her ...” he stopped, ‘What did I come to tell her?’ He thought, ‘That I didn’t want to see her?’, “I don’t know what I came to tell her, I just need to tell her something, probably something important,” he continued, starting to babble.

A grin spread over Mrs Cakes face, “You seem confused, dearie.”

“Don’t worry,” continued her husband, “That’s normal where Pinkie’s concerned.”

“She’s all wrong for me,” said Blueblood slumping, “She’s not nobility, she won’t help my house, she won’t stop talking but when she’s around everything seems, more. More! The worlds so grey when she’s not with me.”

Mr Cake shared a look of understanding with his wife and crossed the room to give the larger stallion a comforting pat on the back, “The heart wants what the heart wants, the mind just gets dragged along behind. I knew I wanted Cup when I first saw her at the mill.” He smiled at his wife.

“Daddy didn’t approve,” she replied with a look in her eyes that spanned a decade.

“Didn’t approve!” he snorted, “He attacked me, with a whip!”

“Only the once! He’s calmed down since,” she put a hoof to her belly, “and with the new arrivals..”

The door at the back of the shop crashed open as Pinkie tumbled back in, “I’ve finished!” she announced, “Can I go now, can I, can I, please!”

“Of course you can, dearie but don’t stay out too late, we’ll need your help tomorrow,“ said Mrs Cake.

“Okie, dokie, lokie,” replied the pink pony hopping over to Blueblood and taking him by the arm, “So what shall we do?”

Blueblood was a bit taken aback, he hadn’t really thought about what to do, his internal voice screamed that he wasn’t supposed to be doing anything, he was supposed to have dumped her by now and be heading back to Canterlot. “How about showing me around town?” he suggested, “I haven't been here since my father ceased his post as representative, and I didn’t visit often even then.”

“Oooh, that’s a good idea, ‘cause I know all about Ponyville and all the ponies that live in Ponyville. Now where to start?” she thought for a second, “I know, we can start here, this is Sugar Cube Corner,” she held her arms out wide, “This is where I work and make all sorts of scrumptious goodies, and that’s Mrs Cake, and that’s Mr Cake, their my bosses. But they sort of act like my parents,” she said with a sotto voice, “and this is the counter where the Cakes serve cakes to the customers, but at the end of the day we also count out the money we made on it which is I guess why they call it a counter.” She started to point at the goods on the shelves, “This is a donut, they're not actually made of nuts you know, and this is another donut, maybe I should try to make a donut out of nuts, a nut donut or should that be a donut nut or donutnut.”

“Pinkie,” interrupted Mrs Cake, “Maybe you should start your tour outside of the shop?”

“That’s a really good idea, because there's so much more outside than inside,” the pink whirlwind dragged the somewhat dazed Blueblood out the door, the last thing he saw as it closed was Mr Cake tapping the Baseball bat on one hoof.


Pinkie lead Blueblood on a twisting path through Ponyville, surprisingly she seemed to know quite a bit about the history and going ons around the town but tended to hop distractedly from one topic to another. One minute she’d be discussing the unique design of the boutique near the centre of town and who had modelled for the statues on the second floor then suddenly she would zip over the town hall and start discussing some of the mayor's recent decisions (the increase in the sugar tax by a tenth of a percent was apparently not popular and she had almost been banned from the post-tax implementation party for it, almost). In addition Blueblood’s guide did not hesitate to yell a greeting to each pony they passed on the way, many would reply in kind to Pinkie but few seemed to be happy to see the noble, at best he received polite indifference, at worst death glares. It appeared that the nobility was not popular in town right now given the events of the gala and the delay in aid for the town.

The pair had reached the edge of the town itself when a yellow pegasus mare with a blue mane descended from the cloudy skies landing in front of them with a thump. “What are you doing here, Blueblood?” she demanded.

Blueblood was taken aback, she looked familiar but he couldn’t quite put his hoof on her, “Do I know you?” he asked.

The stranger grimaced, “Figures, I guess you don’t remember ‘lumberjacks’ when you run around with Supermodels.” she said bitterly.

“Hiya, Raindrops,” said Pinkie appearing from behind Blueblood, “I’d thinks lumberjacks would be very memorable, particularly if you're a tree, they’d be all ‘No, don’t cut me down’ and the lumberjack would be ‘Sorry, but it’s my job’ and the tree’s would be ‘I’m only two hundred, I’m too young to die’ and then the lumberjack would be all ‘TIMBER!!!’” she mimed chopping down a tree.

Raindrops ignored her, “What are you doing here?” she repeated.

“I came here to visit Miss Pie, she was of... aid to me after the debacle at the Gala so I felt I had to tell her something face to face.” Blueblood wasn’t sure what he was going to say next so it was probably just as well that Pinkie butted in.

“Yep, he was all sadie after Luna shouted at him so I did my very, very best to cheer him up and make him smile, then we went to his house and talked all night and now I’m his marefriend.”

Blueblood blinked, “Wait, that’s not exactly...”

It was Raindrop’s time to interrupt, “Oh my gosh,” she exclaimed, "you're a small town earth pony from the middle of nowhere,” she pointed at Pinkie, “and you’re a powerful, handsome and evil noble,” she pointed to Blueblood, who agreed until she got to the last part, “and your eyes met in then the middle of a crowded party, then he took you to his mansion, to make mad passionate love in front of the fireplace. I bet his parents even disapprove.” She shuddered and her eyes began to sparkle, “Now his frozen heart has melted under the warmth of your pure love and he’s come to your home town to reveal his feelings to you, it’s just so perfect.” her voice rose in tone until the last words were just a squeak. Raindrops stood staring into the distance for a second before shaking herself, “You, should go to the west meadows, I’ll make them... I mean they should be so romantic.” With that the yellow mare ascended into the sky again and disappeared amongst the clouds.

“What was that about?” asked Blueblood astounded. “Anyway, about you being my marefriend...”

Pinkie shrugged and grabbed his tail in her teeth, “‘ou heard the mare, ‘ere going to the ‘est meadows” she mumbled, starting to drag Blueblood along.


The route to the meadows took them through some patches of wildflowers. Pinkie picked several and placed them in her mane, Blueblood had to concede that they looked good on her. As always his companion kept nattering on about everything that came into her head, he tried to tune her out while he thought about his current situation. Clearly Pinkie thought their relationship was something more than it was, but he was having difficulty bringing himself to tell her otherwise and only partially because he couldn’t get a word in edgeways.

It was odd he mused, she seemed to make everything around her more real, the flowers she’d put into her hair were the brightest he’d ever seem. She seemed to be highlighted by a shaft of light cutting through the clouds, almost like a spotlight. He realised he was staring and dropped his gaze. As they travelled, the skies started to clear as the clouds scooted out of the way. By the time they reached the meadows themselves the sky was almost clear apart from a few scattered clouds, one of which seemed to be following them.

Suddenly Pinkie lashed out at him, hitting him on the shoulder with a hoof and bouncing away. For a moment he was stunned, she’d attacked him! Had this all been a trap? But instead of being filled with anger, he felt sort of brittle inside. “What did you do that for?” he asked brokenly.

In apparent abandonment of the laws of physics she seemed to stop in mid bounce, “Tag, your it, silly.” she announced before sprinting off.

A tiny part of his mind screamed that this was his chance to get away from the crazy mare, to run the other way. But a larger part, paired with his deepest instincts, insisted that he had to follow the herd or be eaten. His hooves seemed to obey the larger part of him and he began to gallop after her. His mind sharpened as the world turned into a green blur around him, the pounding of his hooves on the ground, the sun on his back, his heart pumping in his chest, the flanks of the mare in front of him, that was all that mattered, he felt so alive! Canterlot didn’t matter, the Night Court didn’t matter, his family didn’t matter.

With a sudden burst of speed the unicorn managed to pass the earth pony despite her greater stamina. He was the head of the herd, he was the stallion! He looked back and Pinkie had vanished. Suddenly reason returned to him and he felt very much alone. Slowing to a stop next to a pond he looked around, his companion was nowhere to be seen. “Pinkie?” he panted.

Suddenly with a huge eruption, the pink pony leapt out of the water drenching him from head to flank. “Surprise!” she screamed.

For a second he stood there, soaked, his clothes ruined and fur stained. He blinked and Pinkie froze looking unsure for a moment. The slowly and purposely he stepped towards her, lifting her effortlessly in his hooves he threw her back into the water before leaping in after her.

He surfaced first and used his aura a gather up a globe of water, he waited until Pinkie surfaced before dumping it all over her. In response she gave a shriek and flailed her forearms around splashing him in the face. Eventually, completely soaked, the two ponies dragged themselves onto the shore.

He looked at her, even soaking wet her mane somehow managed to keep its fluffiness and her face its grin although her coat was splattered with pondweed and a frog seemed to have taken up home in her tail.

She looked at him, his clothes were a complete write off and his normally perfectly styled mane lay limp. She began to giggle.

He stared, then gave a laugh.

She shrieked.

He roared.

Together they rolled around in the mud in stitches.

Suddenly Blueblood stopped laughing because his mouth was full, Pinkie was kissing him, or was he kissing her? It didn’t matter, he wrapped his arms around her it just felt right.

From somewhere above a lone cloud gave out a squeeing sound.

After a long, long moment they separated. He propped himself up on one leg looking at her, in her dishevelled state she was the most beautiful thing he had ever seen.

She scrambled back to her hooves, “We should go back to my place,” she said.

“Why, what’s wrong with here?” he said gesturing around.

“There’s something there for an extra special, super,” she looked up at the sky, “private, party,” and began to trot away.

“What’s that?” he asked getting up.

She looked back, eyes smouldering, “A bed”, she replied.

He was on his hooves and after her like a shot, this time she didn’t let him catch her until they were back at Sugarcube Corner.


By the time Pinkie and Blueblood arrived back at the shop it was closing up and the Cakes were busy in the front so they crept up the backstairs on the tips of their hooves trying to stifle their giggles. She carefully opened the door to her room and they snuck in.

The room was as expected very, very pink. It was quite small but seemed to be entirely filled with Pinkieness. A primitive mural covered all of the longest wall, in the centre was a pony shaped pink blob he assumed was Pinkie, behind her were four larger ponies, two which appeared to be Mr and Mrs Cake the others were a brown pony with a large black hat and a pale grey mare. Beside Pinkie were two smaller ponies one light grey and one a blue/grey colour. A final figure that he could only assume was himself stood to the other side of Pinkie, the paint looking fresher than the rest of the picture. Behind were hundreds of tiny figures in a whole rainbow of colour, he recognised a few from the streets of Ponyville.

Streamers and balloons covered the ceiling while a few discarded items of clothes and other party paraphernalia covered the floor. He noticed her party dress was carefully folded and hung on the door while the saddle bags he’d given her were poking out from under a single bed which took up most of one side of the room. The bed itself was dominated by a small green reptile of some sort. It stared blankly as its owner and Blueblood shut the door behind themselves. Although its expression seemed entirely blank Blueblood got the feeling that it didn’t like him.

“I’m sorry Gummy,” said Pinkie, hopping over to the alligator, “But Mummy’s going to need the bed for a special adult party which baby alligators shouldn’t see.” She scooped up the small reptile and gave it a hug before carrying it into an adjoining room. Although, it’s expression didn’t change in the slightest, Blueblood felt like a volcanic rage was now being directed at him, the creature blinked, one eye at a time as it disappeared from view, threatening a slow death to the noble unicorn. The sound of running water could be heard from the other room.

While Pinkie was occupied, Blueblood sat on the bed and had a few moments to think for himself. This was hardly an unusual situation for him, he was every inch the perfect stallion, mares and stallions often threw themselves at him, often ones far richer and more attractive than Pinkie. However, this felt different, he was ...nervous? As if this would change things, for once he wasn’t thinking if she was good enough for him but was he good enough for her? He’d come here to break up with her and here he was in her bedroom, looking back he couldn’t quite see how one had led to the other, whenever he was around her things seemed to get... confusing.

The water stopped and Pinkie hopped back into the room closing the door behind her.

“Pinkie, are you sure you want to do this?” asked Blueblood with a slight quaver in his voice.

“Of course, silly,” she said plopping herself down on the bed next to him.

“But, why? Why me?”

“Because, you listened to me when I talk, oh not to every word, ever I don’t listen to everything I say but you listened to what I mean. And because you felt bad when Luna shouted at you, a bad pony wouldn’t have felt bad about being bad so you can’t be a bad pony. And honestly, you’re fun to be around and as a plus you’re the most handsome stallion I’ve ever seen, even more than Big Mac and even Bon Bon wants him and she’s Lyrasexual.” she looked away coyly, “Why? Don’t you want me? Don’t you think I’m pretty?”

“Pinkie you’re beautiful, but I’ve hurt a lot of ponies in the past and I don’t think I want to hurt you, maybe we should wait?”

“I’m a big filly, I know what I want. You. I don’t think you want to hurt anyone, I trust you. Let’s have some fun!”

She turned to him, blue eyes wide and he saw himself reflected in them, and he wasn’t Viscount Prince Blueblood, he was just a stallion who was desired by a mare. Then she pounced on him and pushed him back onto the bed and for a time nothing else mattered.


Afterwards Blueblood lay drifting in and out of consciousness, spread across the small bed with his lover lying on him gently hugging him. That had been an ... experience, he though. She was, as was expected, extremely energetic. Although hardly a virgin, she was less experienced that many of his previous lovers but had made up for this with her inventiveness and with just being so much fun to be with. She had also been very loud, his ears were still ringing, he made a note to soundproof his room for whenever Pinkie visited ‘his boring old house’ in the future.

He had surprised himself as well, often he knew he was a less than considerate lover, most of his conquests had been trying to get something out of him so he felt nothing about getting what he wanted from them first. Pinkie, however, only seemed to want to make him happy and to his surprise he found that he wanted the same for her, again and again.

Even sated (He hoped, the spirit was willing but the flesh was rather bruised) she was not still, occasionally twitching one of her limbs or giggling softly in her sleep, although that might have had something to do with him softly drawing circles on her plush belly with his hoof. The same annoying voice he kept hearing in his head noted that this wasn’t the best way to leave her, still maybe now he’d had her, he’d want her less. He tried to squash it but it remained, taunting him.

Suddenly there was a knocking at the door, “Pinkie, are you in there?” came the muffled voice of Mrs Cake, sounding a little awkward.

Pinkie’s head shot up, waking instantly, “Coming,” she yelled, then giggled at her joke. She wriggled round to face Blueblood, quickly kissing him, “Ohh, you should hide.”

“Hide?” he replied, gathering his senses and looking around, neither the bed or the small cupboard seemed large enough to hold him, the only clear option being the bathroom, but he had second thoughts about risking his life with the wild animal within it.

“Quick, out the window,” she said hopping out of bed and yanking open the portal leading into the evening air.

He flopped out of bed and staggered towards the window, his rear legs were having trouble holding his weight. He looked down, the ground was two stories away and there didn’t seem to be a way to climb down. He turned to Pinkie to ask how he was supposed to get down to find that she had produced a number of balloons from nowhere and, her hooves a blur, started to knot them together to form a growing ladder. He boggled for a second before she threw one end of the newly formed ladder out of the window and gestured for him to follow it.

Thinking this was one of the strangest things he had ever done, Blueblood tested his weight on the bizarre object and found that it was stronger than it seemed. He swung himself out of the window and clambering to the ground as he heard further knocking from the bedroom door.

Just has his wobbly hooves touched the ground he heard a gasp from behind him, “Blueblood?”

He turned to find a blue unicorn mare wearing a star covered cloak and hat stomping towards him, behind her a blue unicorn stallion with a blue and white curly mane looked on with interest. “Trixie?” Blueblood exclaimed.

The mare jabbed him in the chest with a hoof forcing him to sit down heavily, something poked him in the stomach. “What are you doing here? You know what Luna will do to you if you try anything,” her train of thought suddenly seemed to derail, “Why are you so messy?”

Blueblood felt his anger rise, along with his embarrassment, “My whole life does not revolve around you Trixie Lulamoon.” He glared at the blue mare who seemed to remain oblivious, “I am here on personal business.”

Above them Pinkie stuck her head out of the window, “Found you!” she called, “You’re not very good at hide and seek are you? Anyway Mrs Cake told me I have to get up extra early for an extra special order tomorrow, so I better get some sleep, see you later.”

“But, hiding and knocking and...” burbled Blueblood, “Didn’t the Cakes mind us?”

“Oh, they know I’m a grown mare and have special private parties with mares and stallions sometimes, they don’t mind, well not since we fitted the sound proofing. I just thought it was a good time for a game of hide and seek.” she blew a kiss and her head disappeared back into the building.

Trixie looked appalled, “You and her and special private party? Here? Now?” she held out the hoof she’d prodded him with as if she wanted it to be as far from her as possible and seemed to be considering gnawing it off. “You’re a dirty, dirty pony.” she stuttered turning a greenish colour under her coat. Her eye’s tracked down Bluebloods form and then froze. He followed her gaze and found a party hat had somehow ended up between his legs. He used his telekinesis to tear it off and throw it away as he stood again.

Trixie turned and ran with a yell, “Monsieur Bourbon, help me!” she swiftly disappeared around the corner. Her companion watched her go with a sigh then turned back to Blueblood.

“So, you and Pinkie then?” he asked, Blueblood nodded bashfully. “Good taste.” He raised his hoof in front of Blueblood who cautiously bumped his own against it. “Make sure you treat her right, be careful what she feeds you. Oh and tell Notary I said hi.” With these cryptic comments the stallion turned and left, leaving Blueblood standing bewildered.

Eventually, he snapped out of his daze and wandered back to the train station where he managed to clean himself off in the washroom before he caught the last train to Canterlot. He could not sleep during the journey, the events of the day were playing around his head. He didn’t think he’d quite managed to break up with her, something had gone wrong somewhere, but he couldn’t seem to stop smiling, that made him think of her, maybe it was contagious.


There had to be at least one thousand ways to leave her.

So why couldn't he bring himself to use any of them?

Because she was there when he needed her the most.

Because she made him happy

Because she was fun to be with.