• Member Since 6th Nov, 2011
  • offline last seen 3 hours ago

Pen Stroke


A fan-fiction author and game programmer that lives in Glendale, CA.

T

There is a secret in Equestria. A secret the newly crowned Princess Twilight Sparkle doesn’t dare to believe. Like puppeteers pulling on marionettes, they have influenced Equestria for better and worse since the fall of Discord. So far they have been benevolent, but their potential for evil is vast. What’s worse, she doesn’t know their name. She doesn’t know their mission. All she knows for certain is one thing.

That they all seem to be zebra.

Chapters (10)
Comments ( 930 )

Okay, this seems interesting...

Why was I updated on this story? I don't care.:ajbemused:

Edit: Of course Pen Stroke's little fanboys would downvote this. Nothing against Pen Stroke, just his fans ;)

New Pen Stroke story. This has my attention.

put in on my read later list

Is this sorta like The Adjustment Bureau?

3229341
Probably because you're following Pen Stroke. Hurrr

3229377 I'm not. HURRR

3229381
Oh, well, in that case, shut up.

Will read later.

Ooh, I'm excited to see where this goes! I know you won't disappoint.

You've piqued my curiosity, good sir. Looking forward to future chapters.

Also: Twilight does indeed bring the excitement to the group with her crazies. :pinkiesmile:

While I still didn't read the actual story (bookmarked it for later), I can't help but see a little similiarity of this manipulative group of zebras, and this little piece of Doctor Who (7:38-11:00):

Because all this manipulating from the backgrounds reminds me of The Silence, an organization or race of aliens that would disappear from your memory once you looked away from them, could put commands into your head without you noticing, and manipulated the humanity for thousands of years.

Incoming Pen Stroke Story to the Feature Box! Excited to read this, dude. :raritystarry:
Very excited...

I'll be honest here; I'm glad that this story had nothing to do with Nyx. I don't hate her, in fact, I love her! It's just that I'm still reading Past Sins and then I'll have to read Winter Bells, so the last thing I did need was another story about her while I'm still reading the first book.

This story looks as if it might have some potential.A zebra conspiracy? That sounds pretty original, and it looks as if Zecora will be making an appearance in this eventually (Well, duh). Liked, favorited, and I hope to see more of this!

~Tempered Metal

*Reads*
Hmmm...
*Brain explodes*

OK, I read the description and the first thing that comes to mind is the Silence from Doctor Who. Let's see how this pans out.

Edit: Okay, so not quite The Silence. And no Nyx. :applecry:
Still looks very promising. I can't wait for Pinkies chapter.:pinkiehappy:

You know, I'm not a Pen Stroke fan to be honest. Don't care too much about Past Sins, though I will not deny it's a good fic. So, this is one fic without Nyx, and it is featured within a few minutes... I'm still skeptical....

*Reads first chapter

Thumb up and fave. This looks promising :twilightsmile:

Nice, intriguing story. Not sure what the buck I'm reading about, but nice.

I'm certainly intrigued. Let's see where this goes.

Illuminati zebras? Oh please, this is going to be awesome.

Grate story. Sorry that's all I can think of. Thais no mistakes in editing that I can see.Sooo, hears my rating I don't give out full rating's in till the story is complete. (:pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:3 Out Of 5 Happy Pinkie's)

Shined
Slowbro95 & Discord114
fc07.deviantart.net/fs71/f/2011/345/a/a/discord_approved_by_ambris-d4ivln4.png

the only thing i can think of right now is "a beautiful mind"

Wow! Illuminati, Free Bakers (Masons) a cabal of zebras. Going to stalk this story like a love struck sociopath.

Good show, Pen ol' buddy ol' pal! I await more! And if you don't give me more, I'm going to steal your kidney!

No, she wouldn't think about how a group like that could completely overthrow Equestria’s government and take control if it wanted to.

...how?
Oh, right, Twilight. Her train of thought had already jumped the rails by this point.

Also, wouldn't it be a good idea to send some kind of preliminary report to Celestia via Spike-mail? Or would that make too much sense? :raritywink:

In any case, I look forward to seeing where you go with this.

Oh, and I’ll need to wear my cart-puller hat.” Pinkie Pie reached behind her back and, from nowhere, pulled out a big, cart-puller hat. It was red and white, with a large front bill, mesh on the back, and the words “Convoy to Canterlot” written across the front.
“Breaker one nine two five applesauce pickle barrel, this is Party Pink. Better clear the lanes cause I got a convoy rolling with me. Me, Shy Fly, Rar, Rain, and Buck Jack are all hitting the road. We’re on a mission for Twi Spa. You copy, over?”
“Pinkie Pie, who are you talking to?” Rarity couldn’t help but ask.

:rainbowlaugh: Pinkie Pie the Trucker! Love it LOL.

I had come in here expecting to find some inconsistencies and there was only one bit that I'm ambiguous about but I could be wrong too.

She was flipping through the last book in the sixteen volume collection,

I don't know if it was supposed to mean "in the sixteenth volume collection" or just the entirety of the volume collections that amounts to sixteen collections but that's one inconsistency I found and this is the one I think is just me misreading it or just understanding it differently.

Other than that, this is a very good start to a very good fanfic in my opinion.

Sincerely signed,
The Unsung One
Star Origin

1. Now i know Twilight's mane has something to do with this.
2. The princesses did it Twilight.....accept it!
3. Twilight is going to disappear.
This i know.

Still, you have once again perked my interest. Continue if you dare, but pray you do not disappoint me.
Megatron out.

Pen Stroke, you have done it again.

You have my interest.

So the vanished zebra were all mares, eh?

I also suppose they all just happened to naturally speak in rhyme as well.

(has suspicions)

>>Some ponies believed the sun and moon used to move on their own and that Discord appeared because ponies tried to put too much order in the world.>>

Indeed that is nonsense! The belief in 'universal balance' is one of the most clever deceptions in history. What better way for evil to win than to convince the populace that eventually good will have to stage a comeback? And what better way to prevent resistance than to have them also believe that if they try to hard to make everything 'good', then evil will spring out of nowhere to re-balance the system?

It's ingenious.

Unfortunately for evil, I'm smarter than it is. :twistnerd:

I think you may have forgotten to pluralize "zebra" in the description... :twilightblush:

Other than that, I'm intrigued and I want more!

3229855 *walks up next to you and pats you on the shoulder to get your attention*
Ssshh, don't ruin it, jumping to the end of the story is cheating:pinkiegasp:
Though I will agree with what you have surmised. I was thinking just the same thing after Twilight got done talking about 'Word Wise'. :eeyup:

I'll give this a shot too. "Anno Concordia"; excellent use there, sir.

I require a Pinkie rocket to properly express my joy. :pinkiehappy:

Pretty interesting. Not to mention written by someone with... oh, let's just say a good resume.
Fav'd, liked. Waiting for moar.

3229882 I am quite good at qualitative logical analysis.

That's why I became a scientist. :twistnerd:

Put a human reference in story without making the story HiE....:moustache:

Automatic A+!!!!!:trollestia:

Loving the story already!! Keep up the good work Pen Stroke!:pinkiehappy:

Past Sins was the very first FIMFic I ever read... You inspired me to write my own fic... Just thought you should know....:twilightsheepish:

3229907 slender man back in his days

This seems interesting. Another fine piece of work from you Pen Stroke, even if it's not a Nyx story. :pinkiehappy:

3229907 The term 'all' suggests plural. I may have been rather deliberately deceptive there. :trollestia:

3229968
Whatever. Whisper Men zebra still sounds awesome.

This has nothing to do with this fic (which I will definitely read; this comment was made before I read it (duh)), but I wanted to say thanks to you and your team for the Past Sins book I received today. It was something I've really been excited for for a long time. Looking forward to reading it again!

:rainbowhuh::rainbowhuh: did you perchance take a look at Dr Wolf's videos?
He had observed some rather strange behavior from Zecora that she's not around when the princess' are at present.

Interesting. VERY interesting. For all we know, they somehow arranged it that the Sonic Rainboom brought the Mane Six together in the first place.

Will be keeping an eye on this, likely going to be interesting.

Also, all 60 are female? Hmm...

3230041

I did not, but I'd be interested in seeing a link to it.

That description makes me think of The Patriots System from MGS because it controlled every aspect of life...

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