A Better Place, A Better Time

by Mental_Zero

Let's Try This Again

"You suck at picking up on subtleties, did you know that?" I sat up immediately, looking around the room,

"Who said that?" Suddenly a replica of myself, maybe 8 inches tall and dressed in all black, appeared on my shoulder, "I did, genius."

I snapped my head to look at him, "Who the hell are you?"

He wore a perpetual scowl, "Name's Fail, I'm half of your inner voice, and you are still clueless."

He had a vaguely Bostonian accent. I tried to process what he was saying, but was coming up with a blank, "Why exactly are you here?"

He shrugged, "Apparently dying, being chased across the US, shot in the face, and waking up in a magical land of fucking ponies isn't too good for the psyche. Your conscience split in half, and we only just got out voices back."

I could feel those crazy little giggles bubbling up again, "Well, where's the other half?"

He knocked on my temple, "Safe, get out here!"

Another copy appeared on my other shoulder, this one clad in white, looking much kinder in comparison to Fail, "Hello, sir. I apologize for my brother's rudeness, he's the more...crass side of your mind."

He had a light RP accent. Fail sneered at Safe, "I also get things done a lot quicker than you do, Safe."

Safe sighed and looked at me, "He will tell you that ad nauseam."

Before I could say anything else, Fail gave me a quick knock on the temple, "And no, you're not going insane, you did die, you are in Equestria, and Twilight does want you."

I looked at him, "What are you talking about?"

He facepalmed and looked to Safe, "He's hopeless, absolutely hopeless. He will never get laid again at this rate."

Safe nodded thoughtfully, "I do have to agree with you on that point. She was being fairly obvious, Boss."At that moment the mare in question knocked on the door,

"Ryan, are you awake?"Fail and Safe exchanged a nod, then disappeared in little puffs of smoke. I sat there a moment, just looking from one shoulder to another. Another knock, "Ryan?"

"Yeah, I'm up."

I got up, starting to pull my clothes on. She came in with a tray of food and a glass of juice, nearly dropping them when she saw that I was only half-dressed. I snapped my arms back, catching them, "Morning, Twi."

She cleared her throat quietly and picked them back up, "M-morning. I brought you breakfast."

I got my shirt and jacket on then turned to her, smiling slightly, "I noticed."

I looked at the tray, it was filled with various fruits, "Looks good. Thanks, Twi."

She smiled sweetly, "I figured from what you told me about human diets that you wouldn't really enjoy haycakes."

I took the tray and juice from her, putting them on the desk by the bed, "I appreciate the thought."

She sat down next to me, "So, did you sleep well?"

I nodded, "Yeah, I had a weird dream, though. It felt like an hour after I went to sleep, like someone pulled the sheets back over me and kissed me on the cheek."

She blushed, "O-oh?"

I nodded, taking a bite of an apple, "Yeah, I think they said something to me, too. Something like 'Sweet dreams' I do remember they smelled like old books and lavender, it was weird."

Her blush deepened, "Y-yeah, that does sound weird."

I shrugged, "Just a dream, I guess. You sleep well?" She nodded. I quickly finished my breakfast, "So, guess my itinerary for today is going to consist of saving my reputation in Ponyville from the pits of Hell."

That got a small giggle from her, "I'm sure that won't be a problem for someone as charming as you."

She clapped a hoof over her mouth, blushing again, "I-I mean, you're very nice, I'm sure they'll take a liking to you."

I chuckled, "I get it, Twi, thank you for the encouragement." I cleaned the dishes and headed for the door, "I'll see you later, Twi." She smiled and waved, "Bye, Ryan."

The first indication that it wouldn't be that easy was the crowd gathered a block away. The second sign was the torches and pitchforks. The third was the fact that they were looking straight at me. I set my jaw and started walking towards them. They, in turn, began marching towards me, conviction in their faces. We stopped maybe 10 feet from each other, staring each other down. An older stallion, he looked to be the leader of the group, stepped forward,

"We don't want you in our town, monster." He said with a sneer. I heard Fail grumble something about making an example of him. I returned a scowl to him,

"Really, I'm the monster? I'm not the one who's threatening the guy who has committed absolutely zero violent acts towards the citizens of Ponyville and saved the Elements of Harmony."

My retort didn't do much to change his disgusted expression, "We heard about the world you're from. Nothing but war and death there. We don't want that coming here, this is a nice, quiet town."

I didn't even try to suppress my laughter, "Quiet, normal town? I've read up on the town's history, in the last two years, the personal student of Princess Celestia has taken up residence here, Nightmare Moon passed through in an attempt to destroy the Elements of Harmony, as did the god of chaos, Discord. You'd have to have some serious head trauma to believe this town is anything resembling quiet."

He dug in his hooves, "Not gonna ask you again, leave."

My mouth set into a determined line, "Make me."

He looked at me, amused, "We got more ponies than you, and we're stronger than you is."

Now it was my turn to be amused, "Two things. One, you aren't stronger than I am. And two..." I threw out my arms, sending out two copies of myself in either direction. All five of us then sent out ten copies of ourselves behind us. We all looked at the leader, who was now thoroughly prepared to lay the brick, and spoke as one, "...there isn't more of you than there is of us."

The copies all reabsorbed back into me, I walked over to the mob's leader, who now seemed to have the fear of God himself struck into him, and knelt down, "So tell me, if this confrontation were to turn violent, who do you think would win?"

He couldn't even form words, now that his little righteous power illusion had been yanked out from under him. I smiled pleasantly at him, "That's what I thought. Now then, that leaves us with two options."

I looked through the crowd, none of whom seemed to be much less scared than their leader, "Either you all start being a good bit friendlier, or at the very least less hostile, and we'll forget this ever happened. Or, this can get violent, and you can lose. That goes double if anyone tries to give trouble to Miss Sparkle for housing me."

There was a ripple of terrified agreement through the crowd, I got back up, "Good to hear."

I got back up and went over to the first pony that my eyes settled on, a middle-aged looking mare, her coat was a light grey, dirty-blond mane, "And what's your name?" She looked up at me, terrified,

"W-what?" I met her eyes, a subdued blue,

"I said, what is your name?" She was shaking,

"W-w-why?" I smiled pleasantly,

"It's generally considered good etiquette to know the names of your neighbors."

She cleared her throat, "H-high Skies."

I nodded, turning on as much charm as I could get, "Nice to meet you, High Skies, I'm Ryan. How are you today?"

She relaxed slightly,

"O-okay, I suppose. You're not going to hurt anypony?" I shook my head,

"Dear lord, no, I wouldn't dream of it." Thankfully, the sincerity in my words didn't seem to be lost on her, she even smiled, if somewhat shyly, "Nice to meet you, Ryan."

I went through the crowd, repeating the process with the rest of them. I ended with the leader, his name was apparently Old School, he was a school teacher. Can you say archetype? I knelt in front of him,

"Now, Old School, do you think that we'll have a problem like this again?" He shook his head slowly,

"No, I don't think so, Mister O'Connor." I smiled and clapped him on the shoulder, then got back up, "Good to hear. You all have a good day, now." I gave them a quick wave and walked off to go about my day. Additionally, as it turns out, Fail and Safe have a sound system set up in my head, as Fail put on a beautifully fitting song.

Thankfully the rest of Ponyville's residents weren't quite so vehement about my staying here. They realized that stranger and more terrifying things had happened over the years in the "quiet" town of Ponyville. Miss Cheerilee even invited me to come to the school to teach the fillies and colts about human culture. I didn't get back to the Library until well past 8, to find Twilight reading the same book she had been reading the day before. I managed to catch a glimpse of the first word in the title, "Inter-species". She got up and smiled at me,

"Hey." I smiled back,

"Hey, Twi." She trotted over, "So, how did everything go?"

I shrugged, "Had to intimidate a few particularly zealous ponies into not acting to boneheaded, but not that bad, by and large."

She nodded, "I saw that confrontation with you and the angry mob. I didn't know you could clone yourself like that."

I looked at her, "Neat trick, huh?"

She nodded, "It must have some...interesting uses."

I nodded slightly, "Certainly helps if you need an extra pair of eyes somewhere." Fail popped up on my shoulder and looked at me incredulously,

"Are you fucking kidding me?!"

Safe appeared behind him, grabbed him, and they both disappeared in a puff of smoke. Twilight looked at me, more than a little confused, "Uhh, what was that?"

I shrugged, "Fail and Safe. Apparently they're my inner voice, or my conscience, they weren't very clear. Either way, when I got here, my mind was divided and they're the result."

She nodded, shifting from confusion to intrigue, "Interesting. Do you think I could speak to them?"

Safe appeared on my shoulder, smiling pleasantly, "Of course. Please do forgive my brother, he is a bit less...restrained than I am. I assure you it won't be an issue."

She snapped to look at him, "May I speak with your brother as well?"

He pursed his lips, "I'm sorry, Fail is not available at the moment, he's asleep right now."

The muffled yells in my head made that explanation seem a bit dodgy, but I wasn't going to say anything. He looked up at me, "May we please relocate over by the fireplace?"

I walked with Twilight to the fireplace, and Safe dismounted my shoulder, landing on the table between the two chairs. He looked at Twilight, "Please, take a seat."

She sat down on the chair and looked at him intently. Not having anything to really contribute to the conversation, I just kind of stood there awkwardly for a moment. Safe looked at me, "You don't need to stay here for this, Boss. Go out and enjoy yourself, I'll return when I have finished speaking with Miss Sparkle."

I paused a moment, "Alright. Twilight, do you have any suggestions for things to do around here?"

She considered it a moment, "Club PON-3 is a pretty common place for ponies to gather at night. Rainbow Dash knows the owner, you should be able to get in without much trouble." I nodded, "Thanks, Twi. I'll see you later." She had already started talking to Safe by time I was out the door.

I managed to get to the club before the line got too long, it was just opening at the time. I got a funny look from the bouncer, but he let me in. I was in the first group of clubgoers, and admittedly felt painfully out of place, a feeling accentuated by the number of ponies that looked at me when I walked in. I elected to stay in the corner for the time being. It looked like they didn't have the main DJ on yet, just some guy opening for them. After another hour and a few shots of liquor, the announcer roared through the speakers,

"Alright, fillies and gentlecolts, you ready to get things pumped up?" There was a roar of approval through the crowd, "Then welcome to the stage, you know her, you love her, DJ PON-3!" That was the first time I saw Vinyl Scratch. A barely off-white coat, azure mane with electric blue highlights, black-framed glasses with purple lenses hiding ruby-red eyes. There was a thin line of sweat at her hairline, a confident smile on her face, she had the air of someone who knew their craft and knew it damned well. I was struck by her immediately, I even heard what sounded like Fail saying, "Damn..." Behind the duct tape over his mouth. She looked across the crowd, I could feel her eyes settle on me, a pleased little grin tugging at her mouth. She grabbed the microphone,

"Well, fillies and gents, it seems we have a newcomer here. Ryan O'Connor, right?" I felt myself tense slightly as a whole lot of eyes turned to me, it was an all too familiar feeling. Fail decided to take that moment to finally get the tape off of his mouth,

"Confidence, you twit! Winning smile, not phased by public attention, do it!"

I cleared my throat and looked at her, letting the corners of my mouth turn up slightly, "That's right."

She nodded, "Awesome. Well, Ryan, we have a policy here at Club PON-3, and that is whenever somepony moves into Ponyville and comes here for the first time, we let them get their pick of one track for the night's set. You game?"

I cocked an eyebrow at her, not noticing that the club had gone quiet, "Oh? Any track I want?"

I looked around the crowd, hoping to god that at least some music from home got here, too, "Well, I can't think of any better track to kick off the night than The Munsta by SCNDL. You have it?"

Her grin widened, "That's what I'm talking about. Well, Ryan, on behalf of the staff, welcome to Ponyville."

I could just hear Fail over the beat, "My god, you actually interacted with a girl and didn't piss your pants. One that you think is hot, at that." I tuned him out, letting myself get lost in the music.

I guess I lost track of time after Ms. Scratch took the stage, because before I knew it, it was closing time, the hours lost to god knows where. I looked around the club, now empty, blinking away the fog,

"Whoa, what time is it?" I saw Vinyl, up at her booth, looking down at me, wearing a grin that was somewhere between amusement and awe,

"It's almost 4 in the morning. You might have just set a record for how long anypony's ever stayed in here in one sitting."

I rubbed my eyes, laughing in spite of myself, "Well, I had plenty of stress to relieve. Been a long time since I got to go out and have fun."

She chuckled, "I could tell, you were partying like there was no tomorrow. You really seemed to have a feel for the music, you have any background in it?"

I shrugged, "I was in the band back in high school, my brother was a DJ. So, I have reasonable experience."

She nodded thoughtfully, "Your brother teach you much about DJ'ing?"

I thought about it a moment, "Yeah, he taught me some, enough to hold my own."

She packed away the equipment, "You got a job yet?"

The notion honestly hadn't occurred to me, and I couldn't mooch off of Twilight's generosity forever, "No, why?"

She trotted off the stage, taking off her shades, "Well, I've been looking for a more permanent opening guy. All the ones I hire don't stay in town for long. You got what it takes to open for me? And if so, you interested?"

God, it had been so long since Jason ever taught me anything about DJ'ing, I'd consider myself lucky to handle a house party,

"Boss, are you high? Think of the possibilities. People will love you, you'll get to stay up having a blast every night, and you'll get a great view of that excellent piece of ass looking at us. Hell, you'll even get paid for it."

I considered his point for a moment, then looked at Vinyl, "Well, I'd have quite a bit of rust to shake off, but I think I could pull it off."

She shook her head, "No, I need something better than that. Can you do it or not?"

I hesitated, then nodded, "Yes, I can do it."

She gave me a slight grin, "Good, you start tomorrow."

There was a brief pause, "I'll get Safe."

I looked at her, trying to keep a level head, "T-tomorrow? I don't have a set or anything prepared."

She grinned and led me out, "Then I hope you're good at thinking on your hooves. Think of it as a test. Be here."

With that, she trotted off to her own home, and it wasn't until halfway back to where I was staying did I realize how far in over my head I was. Fail and Safe reported back before I got back, if we got somewhere that was open with an internet connection, with 15 hours between then and 7pm the next night, with a healthy dose of luck and unceasing work, we might just be able to pull off a decent opening set for Vinyl,

"Twilight didn't seem to need her computer for tomorrow, so we should be able to use hers. If we keep the volume down, it shouldn't be much of an issue." It was 4:12 when I got back, 4:15 when I started my longest cram session since college.

Comments

[Gytrash]

It's coming along interestingly but oddly, Still watching it though.

[Deadend197]

God damnit! It was so good until he got a split personality. I hate it when that happened spoils the story every time.

[Mental_Zero]

720195 It's not a split personality, Fail and Safe just act like the stereotypical angel and devil on Ryan's shoulders, they can't control his actions or emotions.

[Xzaves]

725348

they can't control his actions or emotions.

Didn't you just say they can in dire situations?

[NightmareKnight]

Whelp, that's it. This was a Gary Stu right from the start, and I told myself I'd give it a few more chapters. It never got better. If anything, it got worse. So much stuff happens that just goes right, and you give him absolutely no conflict to speak of. Pretty much everyone here is OOC, and the main character himself is just a goody two shoes Prototype rip-off. I. Am. Done. No more of this story.

[Tome Turner]

This is just on a slow decline...
I'm sorry but I'm out.

[hs0003]

I agree with the two before me (jjamess and NightmareKnight).
I gave it 3 chapters, and it didn't get any better than the first.
Anywho, good luck with it.

[Grankuwaga]

The Munsta by SCNDL

(I find it funny when people comment to cry over the protagonist being OP when they already know this is a [A.U] Prototype crossover lol)