• Member Since 12th Jun, 2013
  • offline last seen Mar 16th, 2015

ReachNetwork


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In the year 2107, Humanity had finally unlocked the secret they had been looking to discover for well over a century: Interstellar Travel. This would turn out to be both a gift and a curse.

In 2570 after several centuries of prosperity, well over a thousand human colonies would band together to form an organization known as the Star League. In order to maintain peace across such a vast network of systems Hyper Pulse Generators were used in order to maintain rapid communication between worlds over hundreds of lightyears apart.

Two centuries would pass and the eventual destabilization of Star League would be through tense political views and threats from one world to another. The worlds under the Star League agreement were now begging for blood to be shed from systems inside of it's domain. A massive failure of the Hyperpulse Network only threw fuel onto the fire.

In 2780 Star League collapses and the section of planets closest to Terra referred to as the 'Inner Sphere' would be thrown into a war of conquest by the Successor States and the house banners in those states trying to claim dominance over one another. These brutal genocidal camapigns put Humanity back technologically nearly eight hundred years caused by four major time-frames of conflict between 2787 to 3025, called the first, second, third, and fourth Succession Wars.

With the darkages beginning to lift, and technology is getting back to possibly surpass what we once had who knows what the galaxy has to offer us in return.

A Battletech universe orientated FIMficiction. I've attempted to keep a canon based story for the Battletech lovers, without going overboard to deter those unfamiliar with the Universe. A lot of information is explained in the story, so don't be scared!

Coverart Credit: SgtGarand (+ Some adobe fireworks added stuff by my self) Original: http://sgtgarand.deviantart.com/art/A-Night-in-Canterlot-316948245

Chapters (5)
Comments ( 31 )

Pretty reasonable story. Two things though:

You spend too much time explaining the technology. I can understand wanting people to know what they are but it really subtracts from the story.

Also, I think you should say 'Clan SSRM6', because it took me like 10 minutes to figure out what a CSTRK6 was.

Fair enough. That's added to my notes, and I think that second one will be implemented as needed. It's difficult trying to drive home how good (in a manner of speaking) the perfect war machine is without explaining it in detail though.

I will split my thoughts about this into the good and bad aspects.

Good Aspect:

BattleTech/MLP crossovers have a consistent record of being very good, and this one is not an exception. I thought the combat was rich and entertaining, the humans sparked my interest in them so far, and I wonder how they will react to a bunch of talking ponies. Speaking of the ponies, you handled their scenes quite well. To me it seems "K-F drive malfunction + misjump = ancient celestial phenomenon" is starting to become a bit of a trope, but it is not a serious issue here.

Bad Aspect:

For starters, 13k words is a lot to chew on for a prologue. Some (but not all) potential readers tend to stop and think: "Do I really want to invest so much of my time getting into this?" Were I not such a sucker for BattleTech/MLP stories, I might have skipped this one based on that fact alone. This does not necessarily mean the content of the chapter or the story itself is bad, it is just a lot to digest for a first impression.

Other gripes are the occasional errors in grammar. For example, "Inner Sphere" is capitalized in some places, but in others it is not. Some words are stuck together and need to be seperated, among other things. I suggest reading your chapters a couple times to double-check your work, or even find a proofreader to do that for you.

Overall, this is a great story with lots of potential. It might require a little patience and ironing out at first, but it has promise nonetheless.

I LOVE MECHASSULT!:pinkiecrazy:

We need more mechworrior and battletech fics anyway Mlp is just a bonus fanfiction of any kind for battletech is lacking I think fanfiction.net only has like 600 ish storys and like naruto has 5k +

Okay, so in my rush to publish this (it had been on ice for far too long) I've proofread it but forgot the Docs-Fimfiction conversion generally screws up font size. I'm debating whether I should edit it or not. I'll leave it up to you guys. It's a very minor thing, but bugs me nonetheless. If you want the fixes, go ahead and comment so. It doesn't effect the story, but it messes with the effect I was trying to get across. :ajbemused:

Bah, now that I've had a fresh pair of eyes take a look I've got some corrections to make. It won't effect the story, but some stuff will be reworded. I swear the next chapter will be more professional. Pinkie Promise. Going back on my authors comment, I'll try to avoid that in the future as well. :pinkiehappy:

3010597 One must be in the story

Comment posted by blisterbeetle01 deleted Aug 8th, 2013

3013333 Thanks! ive scrapped a in two shots with the load-out i have on that big slugger!

3013342 I'll see what I can do... I do have something planned for later that I might be able to work both of those in. Bar-minimum I'll make sure they get mentioned at some point. :twilightsmile:

The metric for PSI is (N/m*m)newtons per square meter.

Cant wait for the next chapter :pinkiehappy:.

It is always a refreshing and day-making sight to see fics come back from the brink of death. Especially when the plot only thickens upon its return. I cannot wait for the next installment of this nice story. May it come soon. :pinkiesmile:

5663179
Thank you very much sir. I can't believe this sat for nearly a year because of my own incompetence. This chapter was done, still looking for a proof-reader though. :fluttercry: It's coming, despite this being on "Hiatus" or should be like "Intermittent Hiatus" I'm taking a break from the secret project (I have enough writing projects running that if I get writer's block with one, I switch to the other. :derpytongue2: Ex-script from the next chapter, just so you guys can know that SOMETHING is in the works. I have never felt more guilty in my life time than my screw-up with this fic. It didn't stop me from playing MechWarrior 4: Mercs or Vengeance while this sat and fermented. :rainbowlaugh:

Ex-script:

“Yes.” The officer replied, and waved over another pony out of the carriage, dressed in a slightly different outfit.

“Whoa is that a...”

“Officer Gazelli, Crime Scene Investigation. I want this area picked clean, immediately.” She ordered, a few more ponies got out of the carriage. Gazelli was striped and had wings, Zebra-Pegasus breed, “Secure the area!”

Wow this must have been much more serious that Redsock originally though, he thought simply it was a homeless pony try to mug a few bits.

“Hm.” Gazelli looked at the hole in the ground, and then pulled out a photo, “Ah, interesting. The dirt and stone is melted, and this char around the edges. Burned, not blasted, burned.”


Teasers... teasers... hehehheheh.

And I just found out, if you play The Good, The Bad, and The Ugly, theme on repeat (kick-ass movie by the way), I can't stop writing until I'm satisfied. Now I've got school at 12:00 tomorrow, and I'm going to bed at 5:00. Peace Out. Enjoy the sneak-peak at my secretive project.

Been listening to this for 4 straight hours, also the reason why this got published.
http://listenonrepeat.com/watch/?v=AFa1-kciCb4#The_good_the_bad_and_the_ugly_-_The_best_theme_tune_ever

its nice to see this fic updating on a regular basis :pinkiesmile:.
Just a tip from what I've seen, try not to push yourself to do so much or you could find yourself losing interest in writing the story, although these long chapters are quite nice to read :twilightsmile:.
cant wait to see where this goes, just anticipating the ponies running into the Battlemechs, Tank, VTOL or Battle armor :rainbowkiss:

5737282
Thanks for the feedback. If there's anything you'd like to see, please for sure comment. Someone asked me to work in a Fafnir. It's gonna happen. Seriously, I take community requests. :pinkiehappy:

On that note, I'll be releasing the secretive thing TOMORROW. So, stick around.

5737797 will do :pinkiesmile:, also its nice to see you taking suggestions from your readers. I'll keep that in mind if anything interesting knocks on my thinking machine ('if' was the key word there :rainbowlaugh:)

unfortunate that this died. could have been a good story

Honestly, I find myself skipping through trying to get to what I consider the "actual" story. This is a crossover yet all that's happening is two different stories running parallel but largely not even interacting with each other. MLP doing its thing and the BattleTech folks wandering around.

10854171
Plus the story's dead too

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