Angel's in Equestria

by sailor sunburst

A request for aid

“So what do you think she wants us for?”
“Something about a friend being in trouble and wanting our help.”
“It’s not Viridi… she’d ask us personally.”
“Nah… probably some other god we haven’t met yet.”
The angel, pit and his companion and darker self, dark pit, walked towards the open-air meeting room of Palutena’s temple. Palutena had called them there, explaining that an old friend of hers was in trouble and needed help. When they got there, they saw not just Palutena, but two young women. One had rainbow colored air and wore a white dress. On her forearm she had a sun-shaped tattoo. She also wore a gold necklace and crown, both complete with amethyst gems. The other girl was dressed similarly, but was notably younger. She also had dark hair and wore a dark dress with an onyx crown. Her forearm was tattooed with a crescent moon. The three were deep in conversation as the two angels approached.
“He’s eccentric, but kniving. He’s powerful as well, if he’s truly- ah! Here they are!” said Palutena as pit and dark pit entered. “I’m glad the two of you came!” she told them
“So you must be the angel’s Palutena has told us so much about!” said the white dressed woman with a smile
“Pit, dark pit, meet Celestia and her sister, Luna. They’re the princesses of a faraway kingdom.” Said Palutena “they are also friends of mine. Celestia and I met when she was younger after she and Luna had… had a fight.” Said Palutena
“We don’t like to think about it…” Celestia and Luna said together
“It must have been bad.” Said pit
“Indeed… and the blame belongs to me…” said Luna
“No sister, if I had seen your frustration earlier-“
“If I had not been so petty as to be frustrated and jealous-“
“So, lady Palutena said you were in trouble?” asked pit, stopping the argument. He’d seen Palutena and Viridi argue alot, and it was the same way with him and dark pit. It was best to stop the argument before it got out of hand.
“Yes. The enemy you defeated one year ago, Hades? He seems to have resurrected himself in mine and Luna’s kingdom. He’s also teamed up with an enemy from my kingdom, named Chrysalis. She leads a group of shape shifters we call changelings.” Explained Celestia
“You mean like from those fairy tales for kids? Tch.” Said dark pit
“Thou wouldst do well to speak to my sister in a more respectful tone!” said Luna angrily
“Easy, sister.” Said Celestia assuringly. Luna “hmph”ed and turned away
“please pardon my sister… she’s always been protective of me…” said Celestia.
“it’s okay. I get the feeling.” Said pit. Since he and dark pit had actually become friends and teamed up, the two found themselves, through an unspoken agreement, more like brothers then friends. They watched out for each other and were hardly ever seen away from each other. It was always rough on one if something happened to the other, especially since they were connected. Palutena had been able to adjust it a bit with her magic to allow them to sense it when the other was in trouble or was feeling “off” emotion wise. Palutena could have severed the connection completely, even offered to, but the two angels had grown used to it and simply asked for the adjustment.
“so Hades has have teamed up with this chrysalis?” asked dark pit
“that’s correct. Since it involves him, Celestia and Luna have kindly asked me to allow the two of you to aid in defeating him. I would of course agree, but I wanted to see what you two thought. Their land is… very different from ours, and you’ll be there for quite some time. Until this threat is dealt with, I can’t allow the two of you to come back.” said Palutena
“well, any friend of yours is someone I’m willing to help! If these people are in trouble because of Hades, it’s my job to help!” said pit
“I can’t allow the moron here to go on alone, so count me in too I guess.” Said dark pit
“remember my warning: their land of Equestria is far different from Skyworld, or even the mortal world. Expect some… unexpected things.” Said Palutena
“thou won’t be alone.” Said Luna
“my student and her friends will be there to explain. They’ll act as companions and guides to you. They’ll answer any questions you have.” Said Celestia
“it can’t be any worse than the chaos vortex…” muttered pit “that place was a nightmare…” he shuddered “13 waves of enemies… I hope THAT thing didn’t come back as well, because I’d be out of here faster than a rabbit being chased by a wolf!”
“for once I agree with him.” Said dark pit
“I doubt you’ll have to deal with the Chaos Kin. Viridi is keeping very close tabs on it, as the Chaos Kin is her responsibility, just as dealing with the underworld is mine.” Said Palutena.
“I didn’t expect a powerful princess to take on a student.” Commented pit
“how did you…?” stammered Celestia
“I’ve known lady Palutena my whole life! If the two of you are friends, it’s only natural you’d have magical powers, plus the hair kind of gave it away.” Said pit
“how… perceptive of you, pit.” Chuckled Palutena
“well, yes. I do have a student. She goes by twilight sparkle, or just twilight. She has many magical gifts herself, and is not just my student in learning magic, but is also my successor.” Said Celestia “as I said, she’ll be your guide and companion throughout mind and Luna’s kingdom of Equestria, along with her friends.”
“hang on! Wait a minute! Equestria? Odd name for a kingdom. Equestria sounds like equestrian, which means horse.” Commented dark pit
“once thou arrive in our land of Equestria, it shall be made clear.” Explained Luna
“if you’re ready, we can leave now with a simple teleport spell. We’ll have everything you need in Equestria, so you won’t need your weapons, aside from your usual bows.” Said Celestia
“alright then! Let’s go!” cheered pit
“I’m excited too. Can’t wait to possibly pummel some underworld fools.” Chuckled dark pit.
“alright then.” Said Celestia
“they’re all yours Celestia. Please watch over them while I can’t.” said Palutena
“never fear Palutena. You have my word they will return home safe and sound.” Said Celestia
“alright. remember my warning you two.” Palutena said, adding the last part to the two angels “and good luck.”
“we’ll be home as soon as we can, lady Palutena!” said pit.
Celestia took a deep breath and her eyes glowed. Things got blurry for the two angels as they were teleported to Equestria. Their wings felt cramped and their bodies started to ache. They soon landed on a stone floor.
“oof… I prefer flying…” muttered pit
“princess! Welcome home!” a voice said
“twilight sparkle! My dear student! How good it is to see you and you’re friends welcome me home!”
The two angels opened their eyes and almost screamed when they saw
“wh-wh-what…” stammered pit when he saw
“Palutena did warn thou as to Equestria being unusual.” Said a dark-coated, dark-maned winged unicorn in front of them.
“Luna?!” stammered dark pit
“we’re… we’re…” stammered pit and dark pit
“Welcome to Equestria, young angels. Or should I say… young Pegasus.” Said Celestia with a smile
~*~*~*~
“well well! It looks the pits have arrived!”
“good. Celestia went to Palutena, just as we had expected. Now to put the rest of our plan into action.”

Author's Note:

the start of my new story, an MLP/KI:U crossover fic! i had the opporotunity to pick the game up around march, and i fell in love with it. i hope to break the fourth wall like ki:u is famous for (on top of the "you are history!" line) but overall, enjoy this new story! lets see how it unfolds!

Comments

[Planetarian]

That was rather neat. I am a bit lost about why Pit and dark Pit would have to be Pegasi. Wouldn't that be counter-intuitive?

(deleted original posting since the author didn't request for criticism)

[Swift Heart]

for some reason....I kinda wanna see Pit paired with Twilight....and Dark Pit paired with Rainbow Dash.......I know this sounds weird doesn't it? Anyway so far it seems good. But I feel like I missed something, try writing paragraphs with minor details so your readers can get a better feel for the story and don't just type a line then hit enter. One liners do not make a story and it annoys me to look at.

"Celestia took a deep breath and her eyes glowed. Things got blurry for the two angels as they were teleported to Equestria. Their wings felt cramped and their bodies started to ache. They soon landed on a stone floor.

“oof… I prefer flying…” muttered pit

“princess! Welcome home!” a voice said

“twilight sparkle! My dear student! How good it is to see you and you’re friends welcome me home!”

The two angels opened their eyes and almost screamed when they saw

“wh-wh-what…” stammered pit when he saw

“Palutena did warn thou as to Equestria being unusual.” Said a dark-coated, dark-maned winged unicorn in front of them."
What you have
....................................................................

"Celestia took a deep breath and her eyes (Needs a supporting word) *Started to* glowed., things got blurry for the two angels as they were teleported to Equestria. Their wings felt cramped and their bodies started to ache. They soon landed on a stone floor. <Add more here

EX: The two felt an odd transformation wash over them, there bodies felt small and compact as muscle and bone shifted around leaving them aching in places that hadn't been there before.

“oof… I prefer flying…” muttered Pit <One liners need to stop please, and remember to capitalize proper names
“princess! Welcome home!” a voice said <one liner

EX: Pit groaned rising up on his new hooves "Ohh, I prefer flying to...whatever that was!" he muttered rubbing his head not aware of the physical chance he and his counter part have just undergone. A new voice caught the twin's attention "Princess! Welcome home!" A purple unicorn entered the room at a quickened gallop, obviously happy to see her mentor.

“twilight sparkle! My dear student! How good it is to see you and you’re friends welcome me home!” <I know who saying this but still, too many exclamation points. Is she shouting?

"Twilight Sparkle! My dear student, how good it is to see you and you're friends welcoming me home" Celestia said the warmth in her voice radiating a motherly tone towards the young unicorn.

The two angels opened their eyes and almost screamed when they saw <one liner

“wh-wh-what…” stammered pit when he saw <Could have been combined with this. This line is lonely!

The two Angels eye's began t come into focus, the sight before them nearly made them scream in shock! Pit was the first to speak "W...what?" he went to rub his eyes to make sure he wasn't just seeing things. The shock became worse as he saw his hand no longer had fingers "Pitto my fingers are gone! How will I use chop sticks without fingers?! Oh man please tell me I still have wings!" Pit panicked."

just a few suggestion...

[sailor sunburst]

2733229 thanks for the criticism. in all fairness, i perhaps could have spent more time proof reading. i am glad you like it though! i'll try to make it better as time goes by!

[sailor sunburst]

2733164 if you think about it, it makes sense. angels are known for flying, much like pegasi. the two were never really born with magical powers, so i couldnt make them unicorns. pegasi make the most sense. plus, in the game, they cant fly on their own; they need the power of flight. again, it does make sense to make them pegasi. the concern is noted though, i'm still a bit of an amateur writer.

[Planetarian]

2733528
I was thinking that they were much more useful as Angels. Put couldn't fly without Palutena's help really...

[Race9000]

You could really use an editor, but otherwise I really like the story!

[Ron_Gamer]

I will up this for the idea. Got a love that game. You think that they will make KI game for the WIIU?

[SpyketheRAWRCat]

2778326I hope so!

[HB_DS2013]

That artwork of Palutena riding Celestia's pretty funny! Because of the plethora of crossovers I've read, I think that Celestia and Luna have even more connections with deities from other universes than Twilight with Equestria.

[New Dawn]

2778326 No, I think it was said that Uprising was the last one, beside Smash appearances. DON'T QUOTE ME ON THAT THOUGH.

[RainbowRaptorDash1]

Keep going... I LOVE IT!