Poison Joke
Rainbow Dash smiled boldly and she dipped down, then shot back up again, her wings flapping ferociously as she did so. She was going faster than anypony in Ponyville could ever dream of. After all, she was the fastest flyer. She closed her eyes and jolted forward, relaxing. She began to think about her friends. She loved them more than anything, but she never really had any other friends. Gilda, of course, had left her. Where was Gilda now? What was she doing with her life? Probably nothing special. She began to doze off in thought.
Suddenly, she was overcome with incredible crushing pain in her whole body. She had crashed into a cliff side. She screamed in pain and dropped to the ground moaning. She rolled onto her side, and felt for any injuries. None. How on earth was she okay? Maybe the cliff didn't injure her, but what about that fall? What cushioned both hits? She rolled her eyes up towards the cliff face, and gasped. Bright blue poison joke was flowering up the side of it, and it was also under her. She wailed and dove into the air, flapping her wings. She jumped up and raced towards Ponyville, wincing from her previous pain. She was finally at the edge of the Everfree forest when her wings cramped, and froze at her sides. She hit the ground with a horrible thud.
"Hey! What gives?!" she huffed to nobody. Then, another wave of pain. She squealed as a blinding flash of light formed around her. She felt the world grow around her, and felt her body move as she howled in agony. Suddenly, all the pain was gone. "What...what just happened?" she mumbled. Her voice. It was higher. Raspier. Like a foal. She flapped her wings, but her body didn't flinch. She fell flat on her face, and whined.
"Rainbow Dash? Is that you? Impossible! What in Equestria happened to you?" asked a clear, anxious voice.
"Twilight! You have to help me! It was the poison joke! I can't fly, I'm a foal!" Rainbow Dash begged.
"I can see that...Here, come with me." Twilight replied, lifting Rainbow onto her back. Rainbow yawned. What was she going to do? Twilight would know, she could help her. It was no big deal, right? Before she could go any further, she was fast asleep.
When she finally awoke, she was in Twilight's house, obviously still not grown. She moaned, and noticed a soft surface below her. She much be in a bed of some sort. Just then, Twilight entered the room. "Rainbow, I have to make a confession. It's not one I'm proud of admitting, but I have to. You see, I've always wanted a daughter. But honestly, I'm not interested in many stallions...Only that caramel colored one, the guard in the crystal empire. You know, that one I met when Sunset Shimmer stole my crown? Well, Rainbow, you're my new daughter!" Twilight beamed.
Rainbow Dash gawked. What a horrifying idea! There was no way she would be a daughter to Twilight, ever! She sighed, and thudded back. Ow! Where's the pillow? Dash thought as her head hit something hard. "Be careful, Rainbow Dash!" scolded Twilight.
Rainbow Dash rubbed the back of her head and looked down. There was no bed. The soft platform was nothing but her diaper. She gasped. Twilight had given her a diaper! "Twilight, are you crazy!? Get this thing off me!" she wailed, wrestling hopelessly with her padding.
"Shh...Calm down Dashie, I bet you're just hungry." Twilight grinned as she lifted the flailing filly off the ground and into a high chair. She then calmly walked to her fridge, and pulled out a simple bottle of baby food. Dash gulped. This couldn't be happening! It had to be a dream! If she hadn't been so stupid, she wouldn't have crashed! She would be flying! It would be amazing and she burst above the cloud layer! A small tear rolled down her cheek and onto her high chair. Twilight glanced at Rainbow. She was angrily batting at Owlicious, who cowardly dashed towards Twilight. "Owlicious, move, I'm trying to cook!" she snarled. The owl then flew off towards the window sill, perching on it gently.
"Oh Rainbow Dash, I have a snack for you!" she cooed. Rainbow was startled away from her nap, to see Twilight smiling in front of her, with a spoonful of baby food. Before Dash could protest, the vile mixture filled her mouth, and sludged down her throat. She gagged, and more filled her mouth.
It had been two hours since Dash had swallowed the whole serving of baby food in order to get some valuable thinking time alone. If she could escape somehow, she could get help. She decided the easiest way to escape was to fly out a window or something. First, she needed to learn how to fly. She flapped her wings as ward as she could, but all that earned her was a heavy landing on her stomach. Her stomach gurgled, and a sharp pain shot from it. A gurgling, and then, incredible pressure. No. No way was the coolest pony in all of Equestria going to use a diaper. "Twilight! Come quick! Please, it's an emergency!" Rainbow Dash wailed.
Twilight rushed in, panicking. "Dashie, what's wrong?!" she rushed. Dashie began to sweat with the effort of holding it in. "Twilight, quickly, get me to the bathroom! I'm gonna blow!" Dash winced. Twilight giggled. "Use the diaper!" she mocked, sitting on the couch and flicking on the TV.
Dash began to cry, the pain churning in her stomach was incredible, but there was no way that diaper was ever going to be full. She pressed her hooves hard against the back of her diaper, and moaned in pain. "Oh Dashie, honey, just go!" Twilight assured. Dash gulped. There was no way she was using it.
"Now, time for a nap..." Twilight smiled softly, placing Dash in her crib.
"Twilight, please, I want to go home!" sniffed Rainbow Dash between sobs. Twilight shook her head, and quietly left the room.
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First label this "Alternative Universe".
Second slow down. Spread out the details and explain some things.
This could be a better concept with a little improvement.
And I thought I wrote fast.
Why are you saying this? She never moved to Ponyville in canon, either. She's still deep in the Everfree Forest.
2731986
Thanks for that :3 I didn't even realize it!
2731818
Thanks for the advice
Anything specific about those parts that you think should be changed?
2732034 The biggest change might be Twilight forcing Rainbow Dash to use her diaper. That just seems rather mean spirited of Twilight.
Now if a day or two passed and Rainbow Dash hadn't used it maybe it might work better since Twilight could be concerned and decide to force Rainbow Dash to go just in case.
2732177
Thanks for the advice, I'll see what I can do.
2732196 There's also the whole t.v. thing. If you are going to include it at least mention briefly how it works.
2732209 Magic.
2732209 alternate universe
and also who says that equestria doesnt have tv?
2732536 I never said it doesn't exist but I figure since this is an alternative universe fic it might work better to explain a few things like that.
LOVE! MUST READ MORE!
readable
1) More details. Maybe, what Twilight had do when Dash was asleep. Or by the feeding scene.
2) Not so Fast! Take your Time and explain more.
Nice premise, but you need to pace yourself a little more. Add some scene breaks. Build up some suspense instead of following one thing after another. Your audience knows how to be patient for the payoff of diapers and Foal!Dash.
Twilight was OoC in forcing Rainbow to use a diaper and with imprisoning her, new speakers need a new paragraph and you seem to be attempting to set a new land speed record with your writing. In about a thousand words you crammed in far too much stuff and missed out on a lot of detail, like the feeding scene for example. Grammar seemed fine though.
I like it so far
I haven't read this chapter yet, but I have read the introduction. DON'T YOU DARE USE RAINBOW DASH, TWILIGHT
!!! AHHHHHHHHHHHHH!!! lol. I'll see how this turns out.
Update: TWILIGHT IS A F***ING B*****!!! (Censored it because i'm kind) I am going to kill her!
SHES JUST AS CRAZY AS RARITY http://www.fimfiction.net/story/28896/what-is-happening-to-me
About that others note you might want to put that in the discription 2. And if zekora didn't move to ponyville that means they don't know the cure correct so I'm assuming dash will seek help from a diffrent unicorn?
good start to the story