• Member Since 2nd Aug, 2012
  • offline last seen Jan 14th, 2018

Prisoner 24601


sorry, but i don't do backstory. I'm just experienced, and this is my first time submitting it to the public.

Comments ( 122 )

Ah. It's rare to find a fic about Internet gamers, especially from the Yogscast. Having it based on yog labs got my attention, but the "no way to return" part? I deeply hoped the simple and cliche concept would be saved by good story writing, and I partly got that wish. What I read was enjoyable, but everything went too fast and what I read seemed to came out of a script. It was purely dialogue where the actors don't have a director to direct their emotions, meaning that my was forced to fill in the white space. There were barely any details, and the blank taste I obtained from this quick 1000 words were bare bones.

But if you enjoyed making this, then by all means: MOAR.

It was too quick and empty. I saw some unnecessary capitals. Other than that, I think I'll track this and see where it goes.

2723500>>2723520 I'm not the most in-depth writer! It may or may not get better.

ive been looking for a yogscats crossover :raritystarry:

short but its a new chapter *shrugs*

I love this, keep making it

well... I am going to trust you and favorite this, don't let me down.

>>>Before read
Lewis is going to blow up Equistria isn't he?:ajbemused:

>>>After read
Simon's going to the new mayor isn't he?:pinkiesmile:

Simon got himself under control, and seriously told them "I'm Simon, and I'm a human. Who are you three little ponies?"
HE'S A DWARF!

Why couldn't he be a pony?

2726009
it's more humorous to have him explain his people and his culture.

Spacing, friend, spacing! Otherwise it's just a slightly-more-formatted-than-usual wall o' text!

Oh God, Simon and Pinkie Pie, all of the madness will come from that few seconds of them meeting.

2727008 My god, the world as we know it shall turn into a gigantic Jaffa cake

Comment posted by RileySpook deleted Jun 16th, 2013

I bet Lewis will defend himself in court using tricks he learned from Ace Attorney.

And then the goverment came to take simons jaffas and thus the most bloodiest war any universe could even fathom started.Billions lost.Only two survivors.Pinkie Pie, And Simon Lane.And a lone Jaffa Cake.

Sorry, but there are no toasters in Equestria.

"It's those darn Poniets again! With their shooting missile and what not!"

This is a reference to something. I know it. pls halp

2736766
Soviets I think, only ponified.

2737413 GIVE THAT PERSON A PRIZE

I wonder if they are gonna be teammates or not lol

This is awesome so far. Its just like i would think what would happen! FANFIC Y U NO UPDATE MOR OFTEN!?

2750549
Yay, I've always wanted my own Internet!

2737413
First person I know of to do a Yogscast crossover. Once this is done, somebody needs to show them this and see their reaction.

2864534
Oh I plan on E-mailing them...

2865638
Seriously? If I'm right, it's Minty who reads all the e-mails, not Simon or Lewis. Why not send it to one of them directly via Twitter?

2865677
by god, you're BRILLIANT!
I could use a man like you.

2867730
I'm just giving a suggestion on how to contact one of them more directly. Just use bit.ly when you send it via Twitter so it doesn't break 140 characters. And thank you for calling me brilliant, if ya need help for anything, just ask. If need be, PM me for my skype username. Oh, I forgot these four words: Liked, favorited, and followed.
And are you going to be including other members of the Yogscast like Duncan, Hannah, and Rythian? Maybe even some of the (What seem to be) honorary members such as GameChap and BertieChap?

2868353
Well, Sips and Sjin are in the next few chapters, and there will be one surprise guest, as well as others from the yogscast.

And keep an eye on my blog. I may have use for you sooner than you think.
And everypony else.

2871398
I will. I read every blog I get. Well, most of them.

"explain to Sips here yourself."

Don't that's I grammar correct think.

Is it back in black though?
...Bad joke is bad.
Goodish chapter, noticed a couple mistakes, not story-breaking ones though.

Hm....decent chapter...caught a couple errors here and there. I shall point some out.
"Unmeaningly ran into a pony"
Do you mean something like "Unintentionally"? Unmeaningly doesn't sound right to me...
-"Pinkie popped her head up from behind the counter, saying, "Hey! You're not a Poniet!"-
Unneeded quotation mark at the beginning, and what in Luna is a Poniet?
Last error that I will correct:
"And their Magic!"
Wrong spelling of They're, and magic shouldn't be capitalized...
Otherwise, I'm liking this story. (I'm just a major nazi for everything spelling,grammar, and punctuation)

2989028 Poniet is most likely a reference to the soviets

2990596
I think we've been through this in the comments before...

2990934
I usually never read the comments :3
And I think I overlooked that "Poniet" thing in earlier chapters, if what I've seen in the comments(that I decided to read) pointing that out.

Due to the latest chapter, the rating of the story has gone up to Mature. So to continue reading it, you need to check View Mature.

2992955
Look, I'm tired. It's 10:30, and my mind has become the equivalent of moldy bread.

2992972More, please while its still moldy!

2992987
Oh, I don't plan on sleeping tonight.

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