It was just another yearly friendship report for Twilight Sparkle to send to Celestia. Except this year she decided to deliver it in person. It was normal day like any other when Twilight discovers Celestia has been mysteriously transformed back into a filly! Over the commotion, the Royal Guards informs her that Celestia had designated her as the next leader of Equestria!
However, social unrest threatens to tear apart the kingdom.
But, with Applejack and Spike on the moon, Luna and the rest of Twilight's friends off in a world of their own, and Derpy causing havoc within the Canterlot castle, can Twilight preserve the well being of Equestria, or will it all crumble to pieces?
(This is my second fic and I'm putting this in first person, so could you guys give me feedback? Also, I pretty much suck at everything, except math and science, compared to others, flame me if you want.)
interesting start, want to see where this goes
There are some interesting ideas, but way too rushed, too many things skimmed over and not explained, too many implausibilities.
Celestia is a filly, okay... What does she look like? How old does she appear to be? Is she awake? Can she speak? What's Twilight's reaction to seeing her this way?
What's up with the guards showing Twilight how to run the country? Surely some ponies from the aristocracy or the bureaucracy would be more qualified to do that. And the explanation of how Luna got passed over was quite brusk and insulting.
Whole thing needs more thought.
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sorry about that, I pretty much suck at writing.
Zobeid hits the nail on its head. Slow it down and explain things more thoroughly. That said, it doesn't "suck". The general plot seems interesting and your writing itself doesn't make me want to hurl myself through a window as some stories do.