Research About Fluffy Ponies

by Axel Azabash

3-Research about how to tame your fluffy

19/April: First steps with... Twiley?

She is a freaking Twilight Sparkle wannabe! Light purple coat and dark blue mane, but she doesn't have the pink and purple stripes or cutie mark. Her mane and coat are just plain. I'm going to call her Twiley, because I can.

Today I slept very well... no weird noises, no hits on the walls, window or door... just silence. I went downstairs to see how she was doing this morning. I opened the door slowly, trying to not make any noise, and maybe take a look before she could notice me.

She was standing on her hind legs, looking through the window. Oh yeah, she has been enclosed in a lab all her sad life. She would be fascinated about everything in the world, even a boring backyard. Adorable.

"Good morning, Twiley, how did you slept?" I greeted her. She suddenly flicked her ears and turned to face me, back on all fours with a frown on her face. I was out of her reach, of course, don't taking any risk. After a few seconds, she came to her corner and continued frowning at the wall, again.

Both plates of food and water were empty. Nice, she is eating and drinking, she is not going to die in hunger or dehydration. And... Ow... I knew I forgot something. The sand box, there were piss and poop on the floor. Ok, time to clean up.

I took the mop and came again to the room, exactly the same; she was frowning at the wall, ear twitching. I started to clean up, and suddenly, as I expected, she tried to pounce on where she thought I was, but she only found the mop which was scrubbing the floor, the only source of noise, I was just a meter away out from her reach.

She frowned at the mop, frowned at me and came back to her corner. I managed to clean up all the room. If you are aware, her attacks are not so dangerous, only some quite painful hits from her hooves, that's all, and getting some steps back you are safe. I actually started to have fun about it.

Ok, I finished and put the sandbox. I stepped back, maybe she knew how to use it, or maybe I would have to teach her.

She came to the sandbox, frowning at it, then, frowning back at me. My hopes started to grow up as she stepped just near it, but suddenly, with a strong hit from her hooves, she flipped it, spreading the sand everywhere.

I groaned in frustration. All the time I spent cleaning up was for nothing. I went back to the kitchen, grab the plates with food and water and put it near her, I headed to the door, but just before leaving, I heard other kick. She kicked the plates away, and there was food and water everywhere now. I didn't turn back, I was so angry. Too much angry pony for today!

I closed the door with a bang and went to work. Nothing more for today, I didn't want to see her again. Dr. Mike Hastell, going to bed.

20/April: More stubborn Twiley:

Today, a noise from downstairs woke me up. Some little cries and sobs from behind Twiley's door. I was still angry with her, and I didn't want to see her again soon, but I had to see what was wrong. I opened the door and she startled.

She was resting on her belly, trying to reach the plate of food that she kicked away yesterday, with her forelegs, but she couldn't. It was some centimeters away out of her reach. I took away the plates, went to the kitchen and refilled them.

I put both plates of water and food in front of her again. She frowned at it, but she didn't try to kick them again, she was so hungry, but she didn't come to eat, she stayed in her corner, frowning at me in the darkness.

I came out and closed the door. Immediately I heard her fast steps to the food and the sound of munching. Oh, why she has to be so stubborn?

I went back to sleep a little, until seven in the morning. I woke up again and went downstairs to see how Twiley was doing today. This time, she was looking through the window at the backyard. The plates were empty, so, I replaced them again. This time, she didn't kick them; she only took some nibbles and went back to look through the window, of course, looking back at me sometimes and frowning when doing so.

Enough angry pony. I went out to see how the herd of fluffies was doing. The pregnant green female was in the same place, she couldn't move. The other fluffies brought her some food, but it only was some grass and weeds, all the herd was obviously hungry, and the weather was cooler than the last days, you know, spring and it's weather changes.

I went to the kitchen and took my last can of fluffy food. I wasn't expecting to have to feed so many fluffies, I only bought some cans, just in case of the herd in my backyard needed it. Anyway, I went outside and put some more plastic plates with food on the floor. Then, I walked near the pregnant green female, who was freaking out at the sight of me, but suddenly stopped when I placed the food in front of her, and she started to eat.

Twiley was looking what I was doing outside through her window, but when I took a look back at her, she frowned at me and disappeared, maybe she went to her corner again.

Anyways, I went to work, bought more fluffy food and came back at home in the afternoon. I wasn't expecting what happened next...

I heard some knocking noises from the inside of my house; I opened the door carefully and found her just in front of me "Oh, shit..." I said. She had just opened the door of her room, her leash was broken and she stared at me in disbelief, the same I did for a few seconds of awkward silence, after that, she charged to me.

We both fought for our lives. Ok, maybe not so dramatic, but I got some hurtful hits from her hooves and a bite on my leg; luckily I was wearing jeans which protected me a little. After a couple of minutes of fight and some random broken things in my house, I managed to get her chained back in her room.

I closed the door with a bang, went to the kitchen and took some spaghetti leftovers and filled her plate with it, I came to her room and put the plate in front of her. After the fight, she was more angry and stubborn than she usually was.

"Get some food. You are lucky that I feed you after what you just did to me." I said to her. She went near the plate and took a nibble.

"If you try to do another stupid thing I..." I was cut off by her spitting a mouthful of food to me, leaving all my clothes all dirty again.

"Ok, that was all! Did you enjoy it? Was it funny? Because I can't take it anymore! I tried to be kind to you, but you only hurt me and did stupid things! Tomorrow you are going back to the lab where I got you! I don't want to see you anymore!" I shouted at her. For the first time, she was looking at me, wide eyed and flattened ears.

I headed to the door, taking a last glance at her. She looked lost in thoughts, looking blankly at her plate. She licked her muzzle and continued eating with her ears still flat.

I don't know why I took her to my home. Jacob warned me, and he was right. This homemade research was going to be some kind of hobby, but now, I'm more stressed than before and the smell in my house is awful.

I closed the door and came upstairs limping, all my body hurting from her hits. Dr Hastell, going to bed.

Author's Note:

If someone find errors, I would love to know and how to correct them. I'm using my poor english, Word and google translator.

This chapter was already written when I uploaded the first two of them, but I wanted to take another look and try to make a correction.

This one could be a nice way to end up with the story by the fast way, but after getting some feedback, I'm going to continue it, and I have some ideas to write, but I'm open for comments and suggestions.

Comments

[hs0003]

We'll see if Hastell is in a forgiving mood when he wakes up huh?

[someguyudontknow]

Any chance that kicky is still alive?

[FattBoy94]

Not bad... but it has a few problems. Thankfully Indentation isn't one of them, that is one of the things people around here seem to have a problem with.

Okay, the main problem I see is slight "mis-wording" issues. For example in Chapter 2

"Anyway, we are not going to need it anymore, we are going to sacrifice it next week. I hate working with it. It even doesn't let me to clean up the room." Jacob continued angrily.

I'm guessing you meant "euthanize" and not "sacrifice".
And in Chapter 3

We both fought for our lives. Ok, maybe not so dramatic, but I got some hurtful hits from her hooves and a bite on my leg; luckily I was wearing jeans which protected me a little. After a couple of minutes of fight and some random broken things in my house, I managed to get her chained back in her room.

you should have used "painful" instead of "hurtful".
Also, you need to work on your punctuation, mostly the use of the "Comma". For example, in Chapter 3

She frowned at the mop, frowned at me and came back to her corner. I managed to clean up all the room. If you are aware, her attacks are not so dangerous, only some quite painful hits from her hooves, that's all, and getting some steps back you are safe. I actually started to have fun about it.

this paragraph has a rather long sentence with a total of 5 commas, which could have been broken down. For example, you could have wrote

She frowned at the mop, frowned at me, and went back to her corner. I managed to clean up the whole room. As you are aware, her attacks aren't very dangerous. She can only land some, although quite painful, hits with her hooves; that's all. Just take a few steps back and you're safe. I actually started to have fun about this project.

While it still isn't perfect, it avoids having a run-on sentence and adds to the word-count.

[Axel Azabash]

2739998 Thanks for this comment. It's really useful.
In Spanish, we use the direct translation of 'sacrifice' for animals and 'euthanize' for people. I will take a look about that.

Painful, yes, I think I was quite tired and didn't find the word.

And I have to work about commas. Actually, in Spanish, to put a lot of commas is a correct way, I usually put a lot of commas when I write in Spanish. That is not working fine for English.

2736827 Maybe someone took him to home and the other fluffies thought he was killed, or maybe he is dead. Actually, I don't know.

2735302 I'm working on it... Let's see...