• Published 8th Jul 2013
  • 1,473 Views, 6 Comments

Derpzilla - Mr AJ



An experiment gone wrong turns Derpy into a slightly rampaging giant. Will any muffin survive?

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Life can be a real beach sometimes.

Princesses Celestia and Luna stood watching the horizon from the balcony outside the younger sister's bedroom window. They were waiting for....something. They sat there staring at nothing. Luna sighed and looked to the captain, raising the protective shades from her eyes.

"Are you sure we can see it from here?" she asked. The yellow unicorn just smiled.

"Oh, rest assured your highness you can. The device should only be a few minutes from the island now. It won't be long." he said and made a motion to put the shades back on. "You'll see. It'll be like a second sun rising just over there." He held up a small bag. "Popcorn?"

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"But, sir! We don't serve that here. This is a mostly pony city you know!" the waiter explained to the hungry griffon currently seated in his restaurant. Andy (formerly known as Claudius) took a deep breath and sighed, placing his face in his talon. He had tried all the dining establishments in the vicinity. No meat. At all. Every. Single. One. Nothing so much as a fish fillet sandwich. He calmly pushed away from the table and stood up. Looks like he'd have to go hunting again.

"Can a griffon at least get some fried rice to go?"

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Lyra and Bon-Bon spent most of the day window shopping. It went pretty uneventfully too, until they got to store #3. That's what the sign said, just a plain red sign with a golden #3. There was no indication of what it sold on the outside. Bon-Bon opened the door and the bell jingled. The pair entered and stopped immediately. Without saying a word, the cream colored mare turned and pushed her companion back out the door in a rush.

"WAAH But Bonnie, why?"

"Don't ask silly questions."

"B-but they had gloooooves....."

"Exactly. Why would you even need those?"

"Can't we just look around a little?" Lyra asked as she slowly walked behind the bossy one.

"NO."

".......They had new candy recipe books too." She said quietly. The other mare stopped dead in her tracks. Lyra knew how important it was to her to be on the forefront of new ideas in candy making. She had her now.

"Fine, we can LOOK. But just for a few minutes." She muttered, already questioning her decision. "I'll never understand your fascination with hands. Or humans in general for that matter." Lyra was bouncing along beside her as they went back inside. She shut the door as they entered. "Remember, A FEW MINUTES. We still have that play to.....go to..." She said to the excited unicorn, but she was already gone. "...buck."

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The trip to the island went without incident, save for Derpy deciding to trying to race a pod of dolphins. That actually did go pretty well. Up to the point when she tried to make those squeaky, clicky noises back at them. I'm pretty sure she insulted them because the started spitting water at us. i dispersed them with a couple by dropping the temperature of the water in the immediate area a few degrees. We made it to the island around lunch time. The sun was high in the sky and it was warm and breezy. i was quickly reminded why I didn't like the beach, but I just sucked it up and started making lunch with the snacks we'd brought. I had my back to her no less than five minutes and she'd already put up a hammock and was settling into it.

"I thought you wanted to explore this island." I said, floating over and chilling a cup of a drink very similar to a certain powdered drink mix back home. Derpy took the drink with a wing and slurped loudly.

"I do. That trip over and the dolphin race took it out of me. Not to mention the fact that I was carrying you and our food the whole time. I think I'll take a nap while you make lunch *Yawn*. Wake me when....it's....read-*snooore*." She'd dozed off in mid-sentence with her wing still holding her cup up. I floated it back over and sat it with the rest of the goodies. It wouldn't take long to prepare the food, so I decided to do a little exploring myself. The island wasn't huge, just a small cluster of trees and as I discovered, a small fresh water pond. What was interesting was a small apple tree close by the pond. This gave me an idea. I'd surprise Derpy with some baked apples! I quickly gathered some of the strange, rainbow-stripped fruit and some dried wood and started back to the beach. I was building the fire pit when a strange shadow passed overhead. I looked up and saw a large, white pegasus carrying....something. He was very high up and moving fast, so it was hard to make out exactly what it was. Then, he stopped.


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Private Snowflake was the strongest in his squad and for his size, the fastest flier. (Despite his tiny wings.) This combination had been why his superiors had chosen him. His orders were simple: Transport item marked "X" to island on the map "Y", set it down, push button, return. He had flown straight from Canterlot this morning and he was getting tired. Stopping, he held the item in his jaws and took out his map and looked around. He only had a few more miles to go.

"YEEEAAAHHH!" The tearful look on his face said it all.


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"Ah, crap. Poor guy dropped it. Maybe I can catch it with my magic." I said to no one as I trotted over to where it was heading. As I went, a covering fell away from it. "You know that kind of looks like a bomb. An old, cartoon bomb. Can you believe this Der-oh, right. Nap." I tried to grab it with my magic as what I just said finally caught up with me, A. Bomb.I turned tail and headed for the beach. "DERPYDERPDERPYDERPYGETUP! GET UP! We need to leave now there's a b-...."

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The two sisters saw the flash from their position in the balcony where they stood, the brightness reflected in their shades. Celestia let out a low whistle. She looked at the others.

"I'd hate to be the poor sap that lands on."

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I woke up in the water, not far from the sandy shore. The first thing I realized was how cold it was. The cool ocean water lapping around me. I shakily stood up and felt something was off. I was a bit taller than i remembered. I rubbed my hands over my face and nearly wet myself.

"HANDS! I'VE GOT HANDS AGAIN!" I looked down and confirmed the thoughts already forming in my mind. I was human once more. This'll shock the shit out of....DERPY! I scrambled to the beach to look for her, but she was nowhere to be found. The hammock was gone, so was the fire pit and the food. The only thing I did find was a pile of feathers. Fearing the worst, I gathered them and held them in one hand with tears in my eyes and tried to teleport and failed. "Oh, right human." I muttered to myself. I didn't have any pockets to put them in as I had no clothes. I scrounged around and managed to find a saddle bag to use. "Looks like a swim for me." Just as I was about to jump in, the sun went out. I turned. "What now?" It was not an eclipse nor was it a cloud. It was Derpy, super-sized. It was Derpzilla.