• Published 28th Jun 2013
  • 4,847 Views, 311 Comments

The Temporal Manipulations of a Victorious Timekeeper - Rodinga



Time Turner's just back from a week long trip to Manehatten, and things in Ponyville have changed since he left on Hearts and Hooves day. Now everypony is falling in love, and Turner would really rather that he didn't get involved.

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The Pony who’s going to a Trottingham Wedding

Colgate’s straw made a slurping sound as she finished her second milkshake. Straightening in her chair, Colgate wiped the milk from around her muzzle. “I think I need to brush my teeth now.” A burp escaped from her mouth before she could cover it. “Why do I need to drink these?”

“Old trick for getting your magic back,” I replied. “Liquid sugar for fast energy, brain freeze to reduce any inflammation, and caffeine in the choc syrup.”

“Seems to have helped your concussion,” Colgate said with a nod at the banana milkshake sitting in front of me.

“Yes. It has,” I replied. At some point I’d have to tell Colgate that it was actually her that solved that problem: traveling back in time to pass on advice, heal my concussion with a spell the present Colgate had yet to learn, and then spent the last thirty-three seconds of her time in the past introducing her tongue to my mouth.

Inevitably I’d have to tell present Colgate about future Minuette and then tell her exactly what she did so she’d be able to repeat it when she travelled back in time – all part of maintaining a stable time loop. Of course that assumed time loops had to be stable and that paradoxes are impossible, but then again I’ve personally witnessed an example of the bootstrap paradox.

As I watched her look back at me, a traitorous corner of my mind reframed what I saw: instead of a neighbourly smile I saw hopeful mischievousness, instead of simple questions I saw an intent to discover more about me, and the look she was giving me said she cared deeply for me.

“Are you sure you’ll be alright for this evening?” Colgate asked.

I smiled back. “I’ll only be a small part of the evening if the plan works.” Pointing a hoof back at her I added, “You’re the one who can pull off the surprise.”

Colgate blinked, then immediately looked around before leaning forward to ask, “What surprise?” My smiled widened, and hers turned into a grin. “Are you going to tell me?”

I pushed my empty glass aside and leaned forward, crossing my forelegs on the table. “Say you knew that you were walking into a trap. What do you do?”

Colgate licked her lips. “You spring the trap, right? But you do it on your terms. They do it in books all the time.”

“Say you wanted to trap the trap’s trap?”

Colgate’s head turned a little to her left. “So the surprise is a trap trap trap?”

“Not quite. I’ve done that before and the bad guy simply pulled out his trump card.” Sighing I added, “And he used it to get away. It was literally a card. A card with rune-work on it that could trigger a prepared avalanche, aimed at a ski-lodge, where a group of orphans was enjoying a generously donated trip to the Smokey Mountains.”

Colgate’s face crinkled up. “That’s so… cliché.”

“I know, right?” I said through gritted teeth. “So next time I see the purple haired git, I’ll have a surprise for him. Something that trumps his trump card with something he couldn’t possibly foresee.” Which is so much easier when you can abuse time travel, I added to myself.

“So you’re going to trump the changelings with a surprise?” Colgate asked. “How?”

Grinning, I tapped Colgate’s horn and said, “Frequency.”

Colgate, to her credit, figured it out almost immediately.


The perfect wedding is something that requires planning, scheduling, and forewarning to achieve. Dresses must be measured, flowers grown, cakes baked using supplies that are usually ordered a week in advance, and invitations are sent out early enough that all the guests can schedule time to be present. When done properly a wedding is the epitome of plans coming together and a lot of last minute problem solving.

The wedding that Dad set up was not perfect; it was compromised.

Dresses were pulled off of display ponequins, the flower stall was raided with no eye for colour coordination, a range of cakes were pulled from the shelf and stacked on each other, and the ceremony was scheduled for the evening with messengers telling everypony in town the magic words: free food and open bar.

Naturally, I made a few arrangements of my own: a significant amount of strong ribbon was placed strategically around the theatre where it was both decorative and easily removable, a decent quantity of missile-grade tomatoes waited on a table, and I was keeping a few bags of my favourite brand of sneezing powder close at hoof.

Colgate sidled up to me as the entire town made their way into the packed theatre. “Spot any changelings yet?” Colgate had managed to find a dress and was ready to take her place as Page’s Maid of Honour. Colgate’s position as the Maid was just the excuse we were using to get her on stage during the ceremony and I’d be opposite her as Foil’s Best Stallion.

“Apart from the groom, no changelings yet,” I replied.

Colgate sighed. “I really don’t want to have to give everypony a blood test to find it.”

“You sure there’s no spell for this?” I asked, hoping to avoid doing manual security screening myself.

“Nopony’s really paid attention to changelings before,” Colgate said with a shrug. “Give an archmagus a few weeks and she might be able to modify one of the standard scanning spells to pick out a changeling, but nopony’s seen the need yet.”

“At least it might help next time we need to find a yellow needle in a haystack.”

“So how are we going to do this?” Colgate asked.

“Easy,” I replied. “Once we block the exit, we get everypony in town to ask their neighbour a question only they would know.” Giving my chin a scratch, “We should rule out about ninety percent or so of the population in a few seconds, isolate the rest for a few more questions, and those who nopony vouches for can get a tail-cut.”

Colgate scrunched her face up as she thought about it. “The Knight said the blood test was a good way to check, if we remove hair it should come up changeling in the same way.”

“And much easier than giving everypony a syringe and telling them to draw some blood,” I added. “It’s a fairly foolproof plan,” I said somewhat self-assuredly. “Changelings can’t resist weddings, so it’ll be here somewhere, and if everypony helps us isolate it then we can jump it easily.”

Colgate stepped forward to whisper in my ear, “You think it’ll work?”

“That’s what Plan B’s for, and Plan C,” I said with a nod toward Colgate. “We’ll probably need them.”

“Right…”

A puffing sound began underneath us in the sub-stage. One of the bards in the role of a unicorn work-pony, who’d introduced itself to me as Cameo, came around from behind the stage curtain with a hooked pole held in green magic and a yellow helmet on his head.

“Are we being pulled off stage?” I quipped.

“Nah,” Cameo said as he pushed back his hard hat. “Just gots ta yank dis hatch open.”

The hook swung down and caught in a notch in the stage floor, Cameo moved the pole to his mouth and yanked. The stage floor lifted on a set of hinges hidden under the curtain and went back until it hit some form of stopper. “Method,” Cameo yelled down the hatch, “sends it up.”

Colgate and I stood and watched as some large mechanism started moving, each second accompanied by a loud clacking. A brass pipe, slightly pitted, rose out of the pit with a stack of others. “The Phantom’s Organ,” Colgate said with awe. The rest of the organ’s body soon followed the pipes, and the seat in front of the keyboard was already occupied by a bard in the form of an old mare.

The organ’s lift came to a stop with a thump. The bard in the seat stood up with some feigned difficulty and yelled down through the floorboards, “Start pumping the bellows!” She saw us out of the corner of her eye and jumped, clutching her chest. “Oh dears, you gave me a start. Though I can happily say the organ still works.”

Colgate hummed, “And you’re…”

“Face, dearie, but you can call me Pipe for now.”

“…Right.” Colgate finished as ‘Pipe’ returned to looking after the organ. Colgate looked back at me and twirled a hoof around the side of her head.

“At least we can play ‘Here Comes the Bride’,” I noted as Cameo provided the final adjustments for ‘Pipe’s’ performance. Briefly out of the corner of my eye I noticed the rustling of the stage curtain behind the organ, the Knight moving into position.

“The ‘Bridal Chorus’ of Loponygrin you mean?” Colgate said, dragging my attention back from behind the curtain.

“The what chorus?” I asked.

“The ‘Here Comes the Bride’ song,” Colgate explained, “is from an old Unicornian play called Loponygrin which involved a wedding, though the song was actually after the ceremony. Princess Platinum enjoyed the play and had the Bridal Chorus performed at her own wedding, and the song’s been used in every wedding since. It’s also where the white dress came from,” she added.

“She’s right, dear,” Pipe said while leaning back from the organ seat. “We performed Loponygrin three years ago.” The disguised changeling pressed a few of the organ keys in a silent pattern. “I think I could perform most of the score if I had to.”

“How do you know all that?” I asked Colgate.

She shrugged replying, “It was in the inner cover of my wedding music booklet, it’s still in my music library back in Ponyville.”

Leaning closer and narrowing my eyes I asked, “Wedding music?”

Colgate pursed her lips and looked off into the distance. “I was going to sing during my wedding… with Caramel.”

‘Pipe’ looked back over her shoulder. “If you know the words you can join in too.”

Colgate’s head shot around to look back at the changeling organist. “I could?” She brought a hoof to her chest, “But it’d be in front of an entire town….”

Seeing her pause like that, I felt I had to give her a nudge. Leaning forward and elbowing her in the shoulder, I said, “When else are you going to get a chance? Besides, nopony here knows you so… go nuts, I won’t tease.”

Colgate nodded to herself adding, “I can sing this.” She nodded more vigorously to herself. “I’ve practiced this song dozens of times. Where do I stand?” she asked ‘Pipe’.

“Right this way, dearie,” the changeling said as she slowly and carefully stood up, leading an excited Colgate to the other side of the stage.

I was left standing alone on my side of the stage for a minute before another part of the upcoming ceremony pulled on my tail. Looking over my shoulder to see what had done the literal tugging, I saw a pony beckoning from stage right. He was a young and strong looking pegasus colt, his mane curled, and a half heart mark was emblazoned on his tuxedo lapel.

A thought bugged me as I stepped backstage to see what the colt wanted. “Foil,” I asked on a guess, “are you going to your wedding as Roamer from Roamer and Tulip?”

“Twas the best character I could’st conceive for mine role,” in what sounded like a stereotypical pegasopolilan accent.

I took a breath. “Okay, so what did you need?”

“Thou must give thine sister away,” he replied.

I took a second to process what he said and replied, “Giving the bride away is the father’s job.”

“He is readying himself to preside,” Foil replied while pointing across backstage where my father was waiting with his mayoral chain around his neck.

“I see.”

“Be swift,” Foil said and pointed down a corridor that curved towards the open side of the theatre’s horseshoe.


Page was waiting alone in the ticket booth with the blinds down, her dress clearly stretched to the limit around her heavily pregnant barrel.

“Page,” I said as I came in through the staff door, “how are you doing?”

“Nerves are starting to fray,” she replied before giving her pregnant barrel a stroke. “Are you sure you can catch the changeling?”

“I’ve got multiple contingencies in place along with my ‘perfect timing’,” I replied with a smile. “When have you ever known me to fail?”

Page cocked an eyebrow up, “Like when Mill—”

Suddenly we heard the organ start, and bolted for the exit. Opening the door with a back hoof and lowering Page’s veil with a front, I led the bride out onto the red carpet just as The Bridal Chorus started and Colgate began to sing.

Harmony guided,
now draw near.
To where the blessings of loooove shall be!

Page started down the aisle while I paused to shut the Theatre’s fro gate and turn the key in the lock. The trap was closed.

Victorious courage,
the triumph of love,
joins you now together in matra-mo-nee!

A quick canter and I was back in step with Page as we walked down the aisle towards her Roamer, who stood waiting under the watchful eye of my father. Two changelings, Cameo and Method I assumed, stood next to Roamer as Marecutio and Benfoalo, two of Roamer’s pegasi comrades from the play in traditional dress.

I looked around as we walked down the aisle, but I didn’t see anypony drooling in hunger or acting remotely suspicious. Thinking quickly, I tried to figure out what I’d have to do to expose any changeling in the room.

As Page reached the stairs and continued to our makeshift altar – the narrator’s pulpit moved centre stage – I turned to face the audience, coughed and began, “Dearly beloved, as we gather here to celebrate the love and friendships that bind us together, the bride would like to encourage each of you to look to your neighbour and ask of them something that both of you share.” I tapped a hoof and added, “An experience or memory you alone share… to signify the ties of friendship that bind us all in harmony.” I thought for a moment more before adding, “If you have nothing to share with your neighbour, point him out to others so they can share a connection instead.”

Slowly the audience began to talk among themselves, beginning slowly with shrugs and muttering before their voices began a dull roar. As the audience connected I turned to the altar and took my place as Best Stallion, feeling out of place among Spear Shaker’s various colourful characters.

The connections in the audience soon crossed rows, those who couldn’t find somepony they knew looked around. In one case an old mare was helped back two rows to see an old colt. But no matter where I looked, down in the pit or up in the stands, there didn’t seem to be anypony that didn’t fit in.

“T’would not have worked,” the voice jolted me. Looking back over my shoulder I saw Marecutio nod toward the audience. “Those who art false, have all that they need. The true are held transfixed by the moving swarm and tell of their secrets. The puppeteer shall’t know which strings mus’t be pulled.”

It took me a moment to sift through the thick dialect but the floor dipped in my stomach anyway. “Please tell me giving them a haircut would still work,” I whispered back.

“T’would, but the false endeavour to avoid such challenges.”

Internally I cursed. There goes Plan A.

The music came to an end and Colgate took her place as bridesmaid behind Page.

Dad, dressed up in his full mayoral outfit with the gold chain and powdered wig took his position behind the podium. Dad cleared his throat with a dry-ish sounding cough and opened a book before beginning, “Dearly beloved, we are gathered here today to witness the joining of new members into our family. Though I have yet to learn all their names, I will take them in and give them the purpose that they were born to fulfil.”

My mane stood right up.

Dad’s eyes spontaneously changed to emerald slits in an eye blink and his voice took on a strange echo. “You have no idea how happy I am to see how well you’ve been doing, but I’m a little surprised to see you as characters from Roamer and Tulip. Don’t you know they kill themselves in the end?”

“Plan B!” I yelled, as I spun to face the changeling.

Dad’s goons, dressed in Royal and Night Guard armour, stepped out from their hiding places in the stands above and aimed tomato slingshots. Face dropped its Pipe character and rolled away from the organ, kicking a lever that caused the organ to drop back down into storage. The trap door that normally covered the organ was pushed forward from its resting position to reveal the Black Knight in full armour, wings and cape spread out, and telekine stars held in green magic. The in-character changelings beside me both dropped into martial stances, and Foil threw himself between Page and the enemy changeling.

Colgate burst into motion and came to a skidding halt next to me, while I looked around to assess our surroundings. The guest-list behind us had all erupted into panicked chattering and were looking for a way out of the theatre.

“Turner,” Colgate began hurriedly, “your dad was in on our plans from the start. How long do you think he was a changeling?”

“We’ve got a bigger problem, there’s a panic developing.” I said before turning to the crowd “Don’t worry, everypony!” I called out, “We planned for this.”

Moving into a ready crouch, I pointed myself at the changeling behind the pulpit. “You’ve got thirty seconds until the guards start peppering you with tomatoes and the Black Knight pounds your flank into the dirt again. Tell me, where you’re keeping my father and sister.”

The changeling snorted with amusement before summoning green fire to change its form, revealing the black carapace, the fangs, wings, jagged horn, and a green helmet on its head. Finally, it used its wings to flick Dad’s mayoral chain into the air before blasting it with a burst of green magic from its horn. As the blob of gold fell to the ground it smiled.

“Uhh,” said Colgate.

“You think you’re the first pony to try and trap me with a wedding?” It said. “You’re only the forty-eighth to have tried it.”

The comeback came to mind instantly, “And how many times have you been covered in tomato?” I looked back over my shoulders at the goon on the upper levels with the slingshots. “Fire!”

Nopony shot a tomato.

The changeling burst into maniacal laughter, which was quickly echoed by all of Dad’s goons. I looked over my shoulder and winced as dozen or so ponies I’d been counting on to back us up one by one turned into changelings. The wincing got worse as a dozen or so members of the audience changed as well, sending their neighbours into shock as ponies they personally knew burst into green flame. The screaming got louder, and the changelings began to laugh in sync with each other.

Colgate’s ears progressively flattened against her head as she counted them. “Your dad told them everything.”

“Didn’t think there’d be this many changelings either,” I said as a sidled a little closer to her. I leant over to her ear and whispered, “Think you can do Plan C?”

Colgate took a deep breath. “Yes, do you think it’ll work?”

I looked over my back as a buzz filled the air; several changelings had taken flight and were moving towards us. I guessed we’ve have something like a minute before we’d be taken prisoner. “It’s worth a shot,” I said in reply. “I’ll distract them.”

“How?” Colgate asked.

“Ask for a monologue, that usually works,” I said with a shrug and advanced on the lead changeling in the green helmet.

“Alright, Flash Lighthouse,” I said toward green helmet, “what did you do with my family?”

One of Green’s slitted eyes flicked past me and slowly turned her maniacal laughter down to an unstable giggle before stopping with a brief wipe of her mouth. “Flash Lighthouse?” Green giggled again. “This one,” she said while pointing at herself with a hoof, “was never Light Statue. The one you are thinking of is over there,” she nodded out at the audience, “third from the left. You never had any control here, in fact I should thank you for helping me find my missing infiltrators.”

The constant buzz in my ears got louder and I looked over my shoulder, a dozen changelings were diving toward the stage. As I watched something flew over my head and cut wings from three of them. A second object followed, hitting two more, before the Black Knight flew up to meet them with a cloud of star shaped telekine weapons around him.

A trio of pegasi suddenly landed next to me, armed with wing-blades, capes, and large brimmed hats. “We stand with you, our friend,” said the taller one with a fancy accent.

“While we are happy being all for one, we have distinct grievance being all for that one,” said another.

“We’d never submit without a fight,” said the third.

It took me a moment to realise who these three were, august company indeed for somepony in need. I was feeling more hopeful already, but something nagged me. “Aren’t you missing somepony?”

“Amareis is getting Miss Page and their foal to safety,” said the first.

I smiled and nodded back appreciatively before looking back at the green helmeted changeling. “Looks like you’re outnumbered.”

Green scowled at me, not even flinching as another changeling crashed to the stage behind it as the Knight moved on to another. “Hardly,” she said, and a moment later a tomato hit me on the back of the head. I looked back over my shoulder just in time to see another one coming and duck under it.

A half dozen changelings, formerly Dad’s goons, stood on the roof of the stand and were firing their tomato slingshots down through the open air toward the stage. I dodged another, but the bard next to me had his hat shot off instead. “We need some cover from this scurrilous scarlet assault,” he said, but there’s decidedly little cover in the middle of a stage.

“Turner!” Ears, and then eyes flicked towards the shout. Colgate had taken a tomato hit, but despite ruining her dress the tomato hadn’t stopped her casting. Then again, the great big blue glow around her horn screamed ‘Look at me, I’m casting something really big, so shoot me!’

Colgate scrunched her eyes shut, and was leaning forward into the spell. The glow was starting to become blinding, I could swear that I could hear the magic surging in her horn. Then, like a bird with a serious grudge, a red ball arced through the air and hit Colgate on the horn. The raw mana was instantly released through the tomato juice and vaporised the tomato itself in a ball of flame that set her mane on fire.

Despite having all the bards and the Knight on my side we still really needed that spell; so, while Colgate stared back at me in shock, I hit the Time Turn. “Reset.”

While I watched the tomato fly backwards through the air I started trying to guess, how long would it take me to cross that distance? If I didn’t give myself enough time I’d obviously miss, but if I gave myself too much the changeling might change his shot. I watched the changeling shooter, tongue poking out the corner of his mouth as he aimed at the blue glow. Figuring I could make the distance quickly I waited until the moment the changeling had noticed and started to aim, some twenty-eight seconds ago.

I didn’t move immediately, but Colgate had already figured this out and picked her casting up where it was, casting normally. The first tomato hit Colgate on the barrel, ruining her dress, as I turned, another tomato hit the hat off the costumed bard next to me. The changeling shooter was aiming, too busy staring at his target to notice me.

Another tomato hit the stage in front of me and I skipped over it, while the others were already adjusting their aim. I was a length and a half from Colgate as the shooter’s tomato was launched. Pushing off with my forehooves and launching with my hind legs I leapt into the air. Flying between Colgate and the tomato I brought a hoof up to slap the tomato out of the air; on impact it broke open, spinning and spraying tomato juice all over me. One of the seeds got in my eye.

The stage met me at a weird angle and I misjudged my landing, tumbling onto the ground.

“Turner!” Colgate called, then with a growl she took a deep breath, reared up into the air and brought her hooves down with a shout, “Clock Up!” Releasing all the mana she’d been able to muster.

With a great wibbly-wobbly sounding rumble a wave of something passed and spread out from her horn. It was the sound of time itself shaking, each sound wave moving through the outside of time dilation field changing as physics adjusted to the fact that a second was now suddenly a shorter unit of time – or a longer unit of time from our perspective.

As this wave of time dilation passed the hive changelings suddenly stopped moving, those that were flying in the air kept buzzing their wings but slowly spiralled off in different directions. Thunderlane would explain later the flying changelings had probably gotten stuck performing whatever small adjustment they’d been doing to keep flying straight, and eventually adjusted themselves into the walls.

Frequency is a unit of time, and if you change time then frequency changes just like the distortion in the sound waves. Right now, the changelings inside the field weren’t listening to whatever frequency the hive was broadcasting on, and no matter how many backup frequencies there were, none would be quite right anymore. No magus, archmagi, or even a princess had managed to jam the Changeling Hive before -- Colgate had just done something new.

I rolled to my hooves and shouted at the crowd, “We don’t have long, everypony! Grab some ribbon and tie them up before they start moving again!”

It took a moment before the first member of the crowd moved, a farmer grabbed one of the ribbons I’d had strewn all over the walls and jumped on a changeling to start hogtying it. Soon other rope-familiar ponies started to do the same, and the town’s pegasi flew up to roof level to start taking down the slingshots.

The green helmeted changeling however screamed, at first in shock but soon in rage with an odd echoing stutter, followed by a clatter behind us. My head shot around just in time to see the three bards move in between Green Helmet and both Colgate and me. “You shan’t have’st them foul beast!” One yelled. But Green didn’t dive at us, it shot up into the air and towards the outer wall of the Horseshoe.

The Black Knight, still busy tying up a changeling, stomped a hoof to the ground and threw it up into the air. Something fell off the Knight’s boot, was surrounded by his green magic, and flew up after Green Helmet. The telekine weapon lost its shine halfway across the distance but flew onward and sliced through one of Green’s wings as it crossed the wall. “Missed!” the Knight snarled.

“I’m going after it,” I said.

“What?” Colgate said looking over at me.

I stopped her with a hoof. “Concentrate on your spell.” A frown crossed Colgate’s face but her horn glowed steadily. “Get the rest of them,” I said to the others, “we’re not going to have another shot at this.” That said, I leapt off the stage and started making my way through the crowd toward to gate.

The audience section was still in chaos, ribbon still being pulled down from the walls to tie up incapacitated changelings. A couple more had been pony-piled on, and another was still in the air giving itself a concussion as it kept bouncing off one of the walls. I wove through all this, only stumbling once on a mummified changeling.

Though the crowd I ran for the gate and looked for the key. I’d pulled it out of the lock and dropped it, but it still took me a moment to find it. Briefly I cursed the fact I didn’t have a horn or wings as I used my tongue to get the huge ornate iron key between my teeth. A brief twist of the neck later and I got the gate open. I nipped around the corner expecting to find a changeling pancake, but only found an abandoned membranous wing in a pool of green blood. A quarter second looking around and I saw a splotch of green blood with an obvious directional spray toward the west road through town. A moment later I was in full gallop.


The blood splotches disappeared fast, but seeing a pair of flower ponies lying unconscious on the ground was sign enough of Green Helmet’s travel. The West Road through town led out towards the farms and my parents farm. Somehow, I managed to move faster.

I consider myself one of the faster ponies in Ponyville. After all I’d managed to beat both Applejack and Rainbow Dash in the Running of the Leaves. That aside, it still takes a lot to catch up in a chase: for every step you take your target’s taking one as well, and any advantage you might have only means you’re only just nibbling away at their lead.

My exertions eventually awarded me a glimpse of Green Helmet just as it was turning down the laneway up to my parent’s farm and behind the fieldstone wall. Moments later I shot up the same lane and into the yard, with the changeling nowhere in sight.

I thought for a moment what building it might have gone into, the farmhouse, the barn, a shed, or the windmill. Then a flash of inspiration hit me. Future Minuette had passed me a message from Future Turner: “Mill is where she belongs”. Wild guess said she’d be in the windmill, so I ran across the yard toward it.

With the evening light behind me I kicked the windmill door open, finding the room filled with a green fog. Green Helmet was on the other side of the mill itself, a milling wheel that rolled around a circle on the millstone. The mist swirled around the changeling’s horn. Wondering where it had come from I looked around and found my family trapped in green cocoons. Mum and Dad had been pinned to one wall, my elder sister Mill to another, with another pair of cocoons holding Dad’s secretary and his assistant Ollie.

“You’re just in time,” said a hissing purr. “I was just about to clean up.” Green Helmet stepped out from behind the millstone, slitted pupils glaring directly at me as it reached out with a rear leg to kick a lever. The lever pulled a cord that in turn pulled the mill’s clutch into the engaged position and the milling wheel started slowly turning.

“So soon? I’d have thought you’d run for the hills,” I replied as Green started circling the millstone toward me. “I’d actually recommend it; they’re very pleasant this time of year,” I added as I started to circle around the mill as well, away from the changeling.

“And leave all this evidence behind?” it purred. “I would have held this entire town for food and replaced the population, but now with that trick that your friend used... I have to erase my presence.”

“Hard to erase all those changelings we captured,” I countered.

It laughed with a manufactured giggle that went on for a moment. “It was done when I regained control five minutes ago. Those drones are ash now.”

A weight started to form in my stomach again. “An entire town remembers them, and erasing all of them would be hard to hide.”

It bared its fangs in a very unsettling grin. “Oh, quite so. In fact a group of griffon extremists taking revenge for an ancient defeat will be very visible. Especially once they get hungry.” It licked its jaws and advanced around the mill toward me. “The best part is the griffons will take the blame for everything.”

I retreated. “Last griffon I saw got its flank thoroughly trounced by a pegasus. They’re a little too pathetic to be the threat you want them to be. Have you seen Griffonstone lately?”

Green Helmet picked up the pace and I did the same, only to realise we’d switched sides. The changeling reached out again and shut the windmill door. The mill darkened as the light was cut off, only finding its way through cracks in the roof and door.

“You won’t be seeing it yourself.”

I was ready for the attack when it finally came. Green had bolted in the opposite direction and came around in a leaping grab. I sidestepped and drove my shoulder into the side of its barrel, sending it into the wall. It swung out at me and I took it across the back of the neck, sending me forward onto the floor with my flank up in the air. Before I could recover my breath it kicked me across the flank and sent me into a tumbling twist.

Rolling back to my hooves, I prepared for the next strike and the counter I’d deliver. Then I realised I was fighting a black creature in a very dimly lit windmill. The helmet was easy to see, but the limbs weren’t.

The next hit clocked across my muzzle, but I managed to guess where the other hoof would be, caught it, and charged forward to push it into rearing up. With the changeling’s belly exposed I used my free hoof to give it a couple of good kidney shots before it came down and sunk its fangs into my shoulder. Thankfully nopony was conscious or near enough to hear my un-stallion-like whinnying shriek of pain.

While still latched on, the changeling reached forward to get a hoof on the side of my barrel and forced me against the millstone. Bouncing against the side of the millstone I flicked my head over to butt the changeling loose from my shoulder. Mostly freed from its grip, I pushed back with my forehooves, braced against the hindhooves, and pushed off with my cannons to drive a punch into the changeling’s muzzle. It saw the attack, and deflected it with its helmet.

The changeling stepped forward past me, and then hit me en passant across the barrel to drive me into the millstone again.

A leg went under me, bracing against my chest and lifted me up and onto my back on the millstone. That close to the mill I didn’t just hear the millstone move; I felt it. Panic shot through me as I summoned the will to yell ‘reset’ only to have it interrupted as the turning wheel of the millstone gripped my muzzle. The Time Turn kicked in just as I felt my jaw being pressed into my skull.

The Time Turn took me back to when the changeling had caught me in passing and started to push me toward the millstone. Instead of resisting the push, I rolled, and while tumbling I hooked a fore and hind leg under Green using the motion of my roll to strengthen my throw as I sent it into the air.

The changeling screamed in rage as it landed on the millstone and into the groove long worn in by the turning millstone. As I watched, Green Helmet’s scream of rage became pain as the millstone started on its flank. Chitin crunched, and the scream turned into a suddenly silenced gargle as much of what was in the changeling came out like toothpaste though its mouth and eyes.

My lunch did the same a moment later, and so did my breakfast.

I’m not sure how long I sat there in shock. I didn’t even look up from the ground until I heard a loud rattling approach. The door was kicked open and as I was bathed in light again as I looked up to see the Black Knight standing in the doorway. Light bounced off his armour, silhouetted by his cape, the effect was completed by the solid blue shine of his eyes peering through the visor of his helm.

Another pony pushed past the Knight. “Turner! We—oh my—” Colgate’s voice turned to a gargle as she ran back outside. For a good two minutes I listened to the sound of Colgate losing her lunch, with a background soundtrack of the slight crunch of more chitin being ground down to the consistency of flour.

The Knight surveyed the situation before stepping over to bring me to my hooves again. “Laurels should be granted to thee, Time Turner. Few could have stood ‘gainst the Old Mind in combat, fewer still would gain victory.”

I brought a hoof up to feel my face. The memory of it being crushed was still fresh in my mind. “I got very lucky,” I said quietly.

“So say most in thy position,” the Knight reassured me as he put an arm around my neck. “Come. Your friend was desperate to find you.”

Colgate stood over a bucket outside, panting.

“What happened at the theatre?” I asked.

Colgate looked back over her shoulder at me a moment before snapping back to the bucket and dry heaving twice. “Turner,” she said between pants, “you’re covered in green.”

I looked down, and sure enough much of my coat was covered in unidentifiable green goo. “I guess I am,” I said just as I started feeling queasy again.


Colgate came to find me again after sunset. Needing to clean myself off, I’d wandered off to the farm’s dam while everypony else resolved what issues remained. The late summer sun had warmed the water but the deepening chill wouldn’t be bearable for much longer.

I’d been feeling woozy for the last hour, with much of it spent removing unidentifiable bits of changeling from my coat. From what I’d found so far, changeling anatomy was weird and un-pony-like. A significant part of their innards seemed to be goo, which while probably magical was also greasy and fatty enough to make it difficult to wash out of my coat. A lot of bruising covered my body, most of it thankfully hidden under my coat, but none of my bones had been broken. The worst injury I’d received was the bite I’d taken to my shoulder from the changeling’s fangs.

“You don’t look too good.”

I looked up from the water at Colgate as she came and sat at the side of the dam. “You should see the other guy.”

A grimace flashed over Colgate’s face briefly. “I wish I hadn’t.”

“Did you feel the time turn?” I asked neutrally.

“From the road,” she replied. “Then the Knight heard something and ran towards the windmill.”

“It was surprised I caught it so badly, I guess,” I said with a sigh. “The first time around I was under that millstone.”

Colgate gasped. “Are you going to be okay?” she said hurriedly. “I’ve heard ponies can get really stressed out after close encounters.”

“I’ll be fine,” I replied off hoof. “Just going to be a while before I calm down, and I’m not sure if my concussion’s coming back or something because I’ve been feeling a little woozy.”

Colgate brushed at the back of her mane. “Uh, the Knight said you probably got a little changeling venom in you from the bite.” When I froze she quickly added, “Nothing too bad, it just kinda makes you a little suggestible for a day or so.”

“I’ll keep that in mind,” I replied a little stiltedly, while considering consequences. “What happened at the theatre?”

“Everypony else managed to tie up the other changelings while I kept them clocked up, but as soon as I dropped it the changelings woke up, looked around, laughed, and then they all burst into a flame that only left ash behind. It freaked out a lot of the townsponies.”

I nodded, adding, “They weren’t of any more use, and if captured they’d just become evidence that could be used to find their hive.”

“The Knight’s freed your family and gone searching for other pods,” Colgate continued. “They’re ready to see you if you want to go inside.”

I looked down at the cooling water. “Soon. I’ll just sit here a little while longer.”

“I’ll sit with you then,” Colgate said as she stood up. She breathed deeply as she stuck a hoof in the water, stiffened, and then jumped in. Gasping she said, “It’s a little cold.”

“But pure. Look,” I said as I moved a hoof around underwater. Even in the moonlight you could see the entire hoof stand out. “This is dug right into the aquifer from the cave system. The water’s filtered by the limestone.”

Colgate reached out and touched my hoof under the water. “You know I’m here for you right? If you need somepony to talk to or to give you some comfort, I’m here.”

“I—” said before trailing off as I looked at her hoof, following it up the leg toward her face and the slight smile on her face. My heart started beating a little faster.

Colgate leaned forward and pulled me into a hug, her head laid down on my shoulder and my face was covered in her mane. It was slightly damp from the water, but still somehow smelled like mint. For a moment I wanted to follow that sent, to see if the rest of Colgate smelt like mint, but another thought hit me.

The hug reminded me how Carrot Top had often buried my head in her mane back in Ponyville, and the semi-relationship we’d decided to pursue. I also remembered the changeling venom, in hindsight you could easily imagine how a changeling might use it to trap somepony or make them obey its orders.

Summoning up some willpower I gave Colgate a pat on the back and said, “I appreciate it. This sort of thing is why you take friends on adventures. And if you need somepony to talk to as well, I’m happy to help.”

Colgate pulled out of the hug and gave me a smile. “I’m guessing this wasn’t the usual sort of adventure for you?”

I shrugged. “It’s not too far off. Well, it’s not like I normally get armies of changelings. Sometimes it’s a monster, a warlock, or an unearthed relic from the bad old days. Other times it’s just being around when somepony else is in trouble. Mostly it’s just seeing new places and meeting new ponies, but this adventure was a bit of everything.”

“So, what do we do now?” Colgate asked.

“Well,” I said as I stood up. “We’re going to go inside for dinner, and tomorrow will probably be another wedding day.” I gave myself a bit of a shake off as I stepped out of the dam. “Then we help clean up, say our goodbyes, and catch a train back to Ponyville.” Glancing up at the moon I sighed. “This is going to be a heck of a report to write, it’s got everything from new secret enemy creatures to Flash Sentry as an changeling double agent.” I tapped the ground. “I’ll probably have to give this one in person.”

Colgate charged up some magic and blasted all the water from her coat. “You’re going to Canterlot?”

“Probably,” I said with a shrug.

“That’ll be awkward for me,” Colgate said, “still kinda exiled.”

“I’ll just take Carrot Top then,” I replied off hoof, “I did promise she could go on my next adventure.” As a previous train of thought got underway again and headed towards a tunnel, I added, “I should probably take you along as well though, just in case.”


We took a short walk back to the farmhouse. Night had fully settled over Equestria, presumably with Celestia in bed and Luna drinking her evening coffee. Walking in the back door we found Mum over in the kitchen boiling water on the stove with a towel around her head and Dad at the table busily attempting to get something out of his ear.

“Hey, Mum. Hey, Dad,” I said as we walked in..

Mum immediately turned and came to me. “Oh, my son!” she said as she pulled me into a hug, resting her head against mine. “I’ve been so worried.”

I held her. “Mum, you don’t need to.”

“You should worry about us,” Dad said from over at the table. “When I came home this morning and noticed Honey was missing, my secretary decided to whack me over the head.” He shook his head free of the towel and put it on the table. “See this?” He spread it out to show a green stain. “Next thing I knew I was covered in this stuff, and I don’t want to know how those things make it.”

“Sod, you’re ruining the moment,” Mum said. Dad just sighed.

“I think they’re actually made of it,” I said in reply.

Mum released me from the hug and took a step back. “Millie is still in the bath, but she seems fine.”

“Good, she can stay there,” I said bluntly.

“Time…” Mum said with a reproachful glare.

“I’ll be nice,” I said in reply.

Mum’s glare lingered for a second longer before she looked towards Colgate. “Minuette,” she said, giving the only name for Colgate we’d given her, “thank you for your help.”

“Not a problem,” Colgate said with that broad smile, then adding, “anymore at least.”

“It was a shame you couldn’t see it,” I said, “Minuette shutdown the entire changeling attack.” I gave her a smile back. “You wouldn’t believe how absolutely livid the Queen was, ‘a trick’ it called it. I don’t think anypony has ever caught it like that before.”

Colgate blushed.

“She’s not coming back, is she?” Dad asked. “The clean-up from this one is going to be bad enough. The grain out of that mill will never taste the same.”

“I can’t be sure,” I said more mutedly. “It didn’t expect to lose, so we probably got all of the changelings.”

“Great, as long as you got most of them,” Dad said. “The rest shouldn’t cause too much trouble.”

Colgate shot me a worried glance.

“Well… we might have a problem then,” I said neutrally.

Dad’s ear flicked and he glanced toward Mum before asking, “What kind?”

I moved over to sit at the table. “Dad, I was sent here by the EIS, remember?” A frown crossed Dad’s face.

Colgate sat down next to me. “And you said their letter was weird, right? It wasn’t delivered by Derpy for one.”

“True,” I replied. “But I think she was off work anyway because she was looking after Cloud, because her mother went missing.” Colgate nodded with a dejected hum. “Which leads me to my next point,” I continued. “The last correct letter I got said weird things have been happening all over Equestria. Something’s off, the harmony of Equestria is not quite right. Suddenly I get weird set of orders to investigate a case that had been declared closed…” I nodded at Dad.

“By myself, months ago,” Dad added.

“…and we’ve been assigned a guard by the EIS.” Shaking my head I continued, “I don’t normally get guards helping me, and when one’s offered I normally turn it down. But no choice this time, and it turns out to be a changeling.”

“Flash was kinda weird,” Colgate noted, “standing still without moving, and he didn’t come round after the Knight knocked him out.”

“Yep,” I said. “We were supposed to lead him to the bards, probably so the rest of the changelings could jump them. It’s tempting to hope he’d just replaced the real Flash Sentry on the way to Ponyville, but with everything else I can’t help but think the EIS itself has been infiltrated.”

Dad snorted. “Those paranoid whackjobs are supposed to notice that stuff.”

“I’ve worked with more than a few of them,” I said while rolling a hoof on the table. “They’d notice. Infiltrating the EIS would be hard, so you wouldn’t do it unless it was worth it.”

“So whatever they want is big,” Colgate said.

The conversation was interrupted by Mum putting a tray with a teapot, cups, and biscuits on the table. Before Mum could start distributing, Colgate said, “I’ve got it,” and started using her magic to do all the lifting.

Mum took a seat and received a cup from Colgate. “So, there are a lot of changelings then.”

I nodded. “Hives aren’t small.”

“Queen, a few drones, and a lot of workers,” Mum added. “They’ll be feeding one royal jelly now and there’ll be a new queen soon.” Mum took a sip from her teacup. “Could use some more honey,” she said to herself. The honey was probably from Mum’s apiaries outside. She’d know more about bees than almost anypony else.

“So,” Dad said between slurps. “What’s big enough?”

I stirred my tea for a moment before putting down the spoon. “Well, my last good letter mentioned Canterlot hadn’t been hit by weirdness yet.”

“Nothing bad happens in Canterlot,” Colgate recited as she put the honey pot from the kitchen down in front of Mum. “It’s under the Princess’s personal protection.”

“So you draw attention elsewhere,” I countered. “And Canterlot is the centre of Equestria, in much more than just name. Everything’s there: the Princesses, the EIS itself, the Captain of the Guard, the majority of the Archmagi, the Royal Treasury, and even Discord’s statue. If you wanted to really hurt Equestria, you’d hit Canterlot.”

“That’s a rough guess at best, Time,” Dad noted. “Yes, Equestria would be circling the drain if Canterlot fell off its mountain, but it’s stupidly well-guarded because of it.” Dad rolled his eyes. “I’ve seen the damn defence briefs, of the ten standard responses to an attack eight of them involve protecting Canterlot, another is ‘let the Princesses sort it out’, and the only one that proposes using the Guard is ‘spread out and search for clues’.”

“Perhaps,” I conceded, “but I still think something has happened to the EIS.” Again I drummed my hoof on the table. “And I’m the one who’ll probably have to go check on it.”

Mum hummed worriedly. Dad said, “Not alone you’re not.”

I shrugged. “Well, there’s the problem -- I can’t trust anypony when there’s an army of shapeshifters around.”

“I’ll come,” Colgate added.

“That goes without saying,” I replied with a nod toward her. “You’re the only pony who can cast the ‘I win’ spell.” Colgate’s face broke into a grin.

A series of hoof-steps on the old floorboards in the hall heralded a newcomer to the kitchen, my elder sister Mill Turner. Still wearing a towel wrapped around her mane, Mill strode into the kitchen and halted as soon as she caught sight of me. “I’ll just go dry off,” she said and began to turn around.

Mum spoke up with a warning tone, “Millie, Time risked his life to rescue us, I think he deserves a ‘thank you’.”

Mill licked her lips and after a moment said, “Thank you for rescuing me, Time.” Then she walked out of the room.

Dad sighed loudly. I just rested my chin on a forehoof.

“What was that about?” Colgate asked.

“We got into a fight once,” I replied matter-of-fact. “A long time ago. She was the reason I left when I turned eighteen.”

“Time,” Mum began, “you didn’t have to—”

“I know,” I interrupted, “But we couldn’t last any longer under the same roof together. Her destiny was here, it was better that I leave.”

There was nothing more to say on the matter.


The clatter of a cart outside interrupted our honey cake dessert. We all looked between each other, both my mother and father had muzzles covered with honey and pieces of sponge cake. My face was probably as badly covered as my parents, but Colgate’s was still clean because she’d used a fork.

A knock at the door sent me and mine into a rush to clean our faces with the readied napkins, while Colgate grimaced before standing up and announcing, “I’ll get it.”

I spat into my napkin to try and shift some of the honey off my chin. From the hallway, I could hear Colgate’s hoof-steps and the opening of the front door.

“Minuette, it’s good to see you.”

“Page, good to see you too and… is that you, Foil?” Colgate asked.

“This one is often referred to using that name,” said a more distorted voice.

“Right…” Colgate said unevenly and recovered. “Well, come in. We were just having some of Honey’s honey cake.”

“Oh,” Page gasped. “I haven’t had that for nearly a year—” there was a brief pause. “Actually, I think the baby really wants some cake right now.”

“Baby?” Mum said aloud, holding onto her chest.

“This one can smell the love in it,” the distorted voice added.

“Did the Knight—” Colgate began.

“I will be patrolling,” said a fainter voice.

“Well… come on through then.”

A cadence of hoof-steps came down the corridor. Colgate came through first and immediately stepped aside for Page. The corridor’s position in the corner of the kitchen perfectly framed Page’s denser physique. Page had opted for the typical pregnancy dress that most mares wore in their twelfth and final month which has a slight frill to hide ‘other’ developments and frames the baby bump.

“Hi, Mum,” Page said with a wave.

Mum gasped, “Oh my stars!” and galloped across the kitchen to get to Page quickly. “Is this why you wouldn’t come home, Page? You didn’t need to hide it,” Mum said as she felt the baby bump. Mum moved around to Page’s front to nuzzle her. “I’ve missed you so much.” Taking a step back, she added, “Tell me everything: where you’ve been, how long, and who’s the father?”

“This one,” said the changeling standing next to Colgate.

Mum nearly jumped out of her skin, whinnying in fright and stepping back.

“Foil!” Page said angrily at the changeling. Foil grinned, which got another worried yelp from Mum. “Mum, it’s okay,” Page calmingly said as she held a hoof out. “Foil’s a changeling bard from the theatre. It doesn’t hurt ponies.”

“It looks dangerous,” Mum said.

“This one will change into something less threatening then,” Foil said before bursting into green flame, eliciting yet another yelp from Mum.. The transformation left Foil in the guise of a young mare with a light pink coat, blonde hair in a ponytail, freckles, and big green disarming-looking eyes. Foil smiled again, her front teeth showing off an obvious gap between them. “Is this better, Misses Honey Mead?”

“Um…”

“Too cute, Foil,” Page critiqued, “you’ve gone right to emotional whiplash. Try the doctor.”

Foil burst into flame again to reappear as a yellow unicorn stallion. A quick bit of green magic pulled some glasses and a lab coat from somewhere outside to complete the look. “Don’t worry, Mrs Mead, I’m a doctor.”

I nodded my approval from the table and Mum seemed to calm down. Page laughed briefly, “This is the problem with changelings, they’re not very creative. They really do need help from ponies.”

“So you’re the father?” Mum asked.

“Mhmm, and the foal is due in the next week or so,” Foil replied.

“That’s wonderful news,” Mum replied. “Would you all like to sit down?”

“Oh yes,” Page said with a sigh. “My hooves are starting to ache.” The soon-to-be-married couple sat down on one side of the kitchen table while Mum moved to join Dad, Colgate moved to sit by me.

As Colgate sat down she gave me a sidelong glance, and then lit her horn. “You still got some honey,” she said pointing a hoof at my face.

“Where—” I said before a glowing napkin assaulted my face.

“Got it,” she said as she folded the napkin down and placed it back on the table. I glared, but Colgate ignored me as she looked toward the new arrivals. “So, is everything okay in town?”

Foil nodded. “After the drones self-destructed and you left, it took some time to calm everypony down and explain what happened. The troupe performed the same explaining show we gave you this morning and revealed ourselves properly. The entire town knows the Royal Trottingham Theatre is a changeling hideout now, and in a couple of months the rest of Equestria will probably know.”

I ran a hoof in a circle on the table. “For what it’s worth, I’m sorry we helped expose you.”

“It wasn’t your doing alone,” Foil said calmly. “The changeling queen had clearly found some rumour about us, so we weren’t going to be secure in our obscurity for much longer. We’ll be relying on the town to protect us from here on out.” Foil gave a knowing nod to Dad.

“I’ll be sure to pass on the bill,” Dad said flatly. “It’s going to be a nightmare looking out for changelings; I’ll have to petition Canterlot for guards and hope they don’t laugh in my face when I tell them that shapeshifters are trying to abduct my bards.”

“They’ll lick their wounds for a while yet,” I replied reassuringly. Crossing my forelegs on the table, I asked, “Did you find the other replaced ponies?”

“We did.” Foil replied with a nod. “The Knight brought the mayor’s secretary back to town with news of what you’d found.” He licked his lips and continued, “The secretary told us it had been a fortnight since she’d been abducted, and since she was the earliest we looked around her workplace.” Foil looked towards Dad, “We found a good twenty pods sitting in your dungeon.”

“Ah, that explains a bit,” Dad said while scratching his chin. “I couldn’t find that key anywhere, not that anypony usually has reason to go down into that claustrophobic heck hole.”

“I think we’ve accounted for everypony,” Page added.

“Good,” I replied, “with everypony safe we can leave tomorrow.”

Mum gasped and a thoughtful look crossed Dad’s face. Foil’s face remained medically calm, but Page spoke out saying, “You can’t leave yet, you just got here and I’m about to give birth in a few days at most!”

Mum asked, “I hope it’s not because of Millie.”

“It’s not,” I said quickly, “It’s…” I glanced toward Colgate.

Colgate frowned, “And there’s still a wedding to see.”

Dad thumped the table. “Couldn’t the bugs get that done at least?”

“Mayor, is it necessary…” Foil began, but Page grabbed my attention by leaning over the table.

“Time, I haven’t seen you in years,” Page said to me. Her lips pursed and cheeks starting to wobble. “Couldn’t you just stop running away from things for a week at least?”

“I’m not running from anything,” I said back while looking Page in the eyes. “I think Cadance might be in serious trouble, and I need to make sure she’s alright.” Page froze at the name.

“How much trouble?” Page asked.

“Do you mean—” Colgate began.

“The changeling hive is probably involved, I’ve got to make sure,” I replied firmly. Page looked pensive for a few moments. “I’ll come back, I promise,” I added.

Page nodded before turning to our parents. “Mum, Dad...”

“—it’s practically a scandal if—” Dad continued to berate Foil until Page rapped the table with her hoof.

“Yes, Page?” Sod asked.

“Mum, Dad,” Page calmly resumed from an elevated position on the table, “Foil and I need to get married first thing tomorrow morning while Time and Minuette are still here.”

“Page,” Mum said, “we don’t have anything ready.”

“I don’t care!” Page shouted. “Everything that’s happened today has been like a trip through the gates of Tartarus. I had peace and quiet yesterday, but now my entire existence has suddenly become a card in somepony else’s chess game.” Page flinched. “And this baby’s definitely got a horn, because it’s been poking me in the flank for the last six hours!

Everypony sat in shocked silence while Page caught her breath.

Then a thought occurred. I leant over to Colgate and whispered, “You wouldn’t happen to have an X-Ray spell would you?”

“Turner, I’m a dentist,” she replied, “it’s like asking if I can use a drill. I cast it a dozen times a day, easy.”

“Put a spotlight on Page’s flank,” I said. After a few adventures, you start getting a good feeling for when things were going to ‘suddenly’ happen. Colgate stood up and lit her horn up to project a cone of magical light onto Page.

A few things became immediately obvious:

1. Changeling chitin is visible under X-Ray.

2. The baby was a changeling.

3. It was lying flat with its spiky horn pointed towards the exit.

4. Page’s hips were already making way.

5. The little bugger wasn’t being very patient.

“Dad if you want to get ahead of this one,” I said with a nod toward the spotlight, “you should probably get the paperwork ready.”


It only took twenty minutes for Dad to get his good paper out and for Colgate to quickly scribe a marriage contract as dictated by Dad from a book that was only a few decades out of date. Mum got Millie out of her room and we all went outside to the dam with a few lanterns to make sure we had a decent backdrop for the ceremony. Princess Luna even seemed to turn the moon up just for the occasion.

Dad stood on the shore with Foil and the Black Knight acting as best man. Colgate used her magic to quickly set up a camera to capture the big moment, while Mum walked Page between the audience of Colgate, Millie, and me. When Page reached the shore she ordered Dad to hurry up and skip to the end because, “It’s trying to pop the bubble”.

Dad quickly asked if anypony had any objections to the wedding, and I shot a glare towards Mill, who simply closed her mouth and grumbled under her breath. Dad then asked both parties if they wanted to be married.

Foil said, “Yes, I do.”

Page said, “Yes, Yes,” and yelped as the foal agreed quite pointedly.

Finally Dad finished off the ceremony. “I now pronounce you Filly and Colt. You may now kiss the bride.”

The pair leant forward, Page throwing her forelegs around Foil as they kissed. It was a wonderful moment, the moonlight seeming to bounce off the water and frame them for a perfect picture. Love was in the air, and the baby managed to pull enough of it out of the air to make its bid for freedom.

There was a popping sound as Colgate fired off the flash powder and caught the scene on film. Colgate giggled quietly and leant over to say, “Looks like they’re Mare and Stallion now.” A small puddle had begun to collect on the ground behind Page as she continued to kiss Foil.

I smiled to myself and whispered back, “This is the best wedding I’ve ever seen.”


The next morning, I woke up with a blue hoof lying over my shoulder. When I looked back over at its owner, I nearly put my eye out on her horn. Colgate was still asleep with her head on my pillow and I found myself up against the wall while Colgate had most of the single-pony bed to herself.

It took a moment to click, but I realised Page would have needed her room back and Colgate must have joined me later in the night once the baby had been delivered. Though I’d never admit it to her, it was nice having somepony else in bed with me. The warmth on my back in the cold bed was comforting. I pulled the hoof closer and shut my eyes again.

Movement from Colgate woke me up properly again. The gentle movement saw me pressed further into the wall for a minute before Colgate started running a hoof up and down my back. “It’s a good morning, Time,” she said to herself with a slight giggle.

My eyes shot to the clock on the wall, and it took me a moment to realise it wasn’t 2:48pm. The clock’s pendulum seriously needed a good push. “What time is it?”

The room glowed light blue as Colgate picked up her pocket watch and showed it to me. “7:30,” she said, while the watch read 7:28am.

“We have to be at the station in an hour,” I said as I tried to roll over. When I moved, the back of my head hit Colgate’s horn. Her magic fizzled and the pocket watch fell onto my face. Appreciate for a moment that a pocket watch is mostly solid metal; my nose got a good bump as it made its way down to mattress level.

Colgate got her horn free and rolled away. “I’ll go get some coffee started then.” The watch took on Colgate’s glow and lifted off again over my head. I rolled myself over a moment later, and caught a glimpse of Colgate, her mane a mess, smiling as she looked back toward me. Another blink of my eyes later and Colgate was going out my bedroom door with a deliberate swish of her tail.

I groaned and brought a hoof up to rub my forehead. She’s definitely falling for me. This is going to be difficult to explain to Goldie. Another shift and I was able to roll out of bed and head towards the door.

“The ground coffee is in the jar next to the stove, dear,” was said as I shut my bedroom door behind me. When I wandered into the kitchen I found two Pages at the table with Mum while Colgate was busy heaping a substantial amount of ground coffee into a drip filter cone. I took a seat at the table and both Pages, whom appeared fairly worn out and looked up at me and spoke, “Morning, Time.” One shifted the bundle of cloth she was holding to show me the occupant, and the other said, “Say hello to Scene.”

I leaned over the table to get a closer look and said, “Hello, Scene.” Scene was a creamy white and more rounded whereas an adult changeling was more edged. Its bright blue solid eyes were looking somewhere in my general direction, while its horn had already developed notches and a point. My eyebrows came together at a thought and I asked, “Is it a filly or a colt?”

“It’s a grub,” one of the Pages explained, but I guessed it was Foil. “Gender means nothing unless the changeling wants it to mean something, and it’ll be another few years before it moults into a more suitable carapace.”

“Fair enough,” I said and waved a hoof around in front of it.

The grub seemed to still as my hoof came close, as I leaned further over the table to get closer it bared a pair of very short stubby fangs and hissed. I shot a glare at it and withdrew my hoof. Somehow I didn’t think my future relationship with my nephew was going to get much better.

A coffee mug filled with black landed on the table in front of me. A glance at Colgate’s mug showed she was drinking the same. I took a tentative sip and nearly spluttered at the strength. “Did you use all the coffee?”

Colgate took a sip and grinned back. “It helps when I have a lot of work to do.”

“And you have it without milk?”

“Once you go black, you won’t go back,” she said and giggled. “It helped me keep up with Twilight.”

“Time,” Mum said from over her cereal bowl. “You can sweeten it with some honey if you want.”

“I might try that,” I said before getting up. I took the coffee cup in my mouth and moved toward the kitchen bench.

“Could you get a pair of bowls and spoons out as well?” Colgate asked. I hummed an affirmative around the cup in my mouth. “You don’t mind if I have some cereal and milk?”

“Not at all, dear.” Mum said. “Could you get that out as well, Time?”

I hummed a ‘yes’ again and set my coffee down on the bench. Everything was where it had always been kept, and when I got each item out Colgate would use her magic to move it to the table. Cutlery flew over first, then the bowls, the Celesti-O’s (now with moons), and the milk bottle. The moment I finished with the honey pot it went over as well. By the time I got back over to the table with my coffee Colgate had already placed the recommended serving size of cereal and milk in my bowl with a dab of honey. I nodded my appreciation and dug in.

“Dad’s gone into town early today,” Mum said. “He’s going to make sure the train runs for you today. Harmony knows Smoke Stack would never disagree. If it weren’t for you both he’d still be stuck in a pod.” Mum looked at the table thoughtfully for a moment and sighed.

Hearing that, Page turned to Mum and asked, “Would you like to hold Scene for a while?”

“Of course,” Mum gleefully said and held her forelegs out to receive it. Page leaned over to give Mum the bundle, taking great care. Once Mum had the grub, she leant back and gave it a rock. Scene burbled a little, Mum smiled and then Scene started the full baby goo-goo routine. “It’s so delightful,” Mum said with a smile and started making baby faces at Scene earning her a few giggles.

I looked up from my bowl for a moment. “Someone’s exploiting a new love source,” I said quietly while milk dripped from my chin.

“All foals are like that,” Colgate replied after pulling the spoon out of her mouth. “They love attention.”

“I can’t help but think there’s more to it in this case.”

Colgate hummed a ‘meh’ at me. “You’ll see differently when you have a foal of your own.”

I glanced over toward Colgate and noted she was watching Scene fairly intently. “It’s funny how you’re talking like that,” I said as neutrally as possible.

“It’s not like we’re getting any younger,” Colgate replied, seeming very unconcerned about what she said as she watched Mum play peek-a-boo with her grand-foal.

I, on the other hoof, was very concerned about what she said. It was like the aftermath of Hearts and Hooves day all over again. All the wedding stuff had probably gotten Colgate thinking about relationships again and the baby was only making things worse.

I bolted down the rest of my breakfast and drained the rest of my coffee as I stood up to head back to my room. I got my saddlebags and started packing: the toothbrush went in, my hat packed away with my watch and ties, and I made the bed up again.

“What’s wrong?” the voice nearly jumped me into a time turn.

I looked back over my shoulder, Colgate stood in the doorway. She’d already brushed her mane and coat, her eyebrows locked up and together as she watched at me.

“Just getting ready,” I said. “We have to go soon.”

“Time,” Colgate said as she stepped in the room and shut the door behind her. “We’ve had our differences, but after the last few days I thought you might be a little more honest with me. What’s wrong?”

I breathed deep, and sighed. “I’m just thinking about us, the whole thing.” I tapped a hoof on the wooden frame of the bed twice. “Like with Caramel.”

Colgate froze. “Oh.” And just like that the air seemed a little colder.

“It might just be my imagination…” I trailed off.

“No, no,” Colgate said as she walked over and sat down beside me on the bed with only a slight swish of her tail. “This is not a Caramel thing. We have a good… thing going, of course, and I did promise Carrot that I wouldn’t go breaking our friendship. Or run off, or do something stupid.”

I hummed, as I held my head on a hoof.

“Though I can see why you might be worried,” Colgate continued. “Caramel was a mistake, and I know that if I ever started to develop feelings again I would let them simmer before acting on them. Though…” she trailed off and turned to look at me. “It’s funny how you’re talking like that,” she said neutrally before her lips took on a thoughtful twist.

“It’s probably whatever that changeling hit me with last night.” I said dismissively as I stood and lifted my saddlebags onto my back. “We should probably get a wiggle on. We need to catch the Canterlot train.”

“We do.” Colgate stood and used her magic to pack her bags in just a few moments before dropping them on her back.


We briefly said our goodbyes. The little grub was enough of a distraction that it didn’t take too long to say them. Mum did force my address out of me so she could visit; she didn’t think I’d actually start settling down.

Colgate didn’t say much on the way into town, though she had a pensive look on her face whenever I looked in her direction as she’d spontaneously looked elsewhere that wasn’t me. As I glanced over I noticed a few things about Colgate that had changed: she held her shoulders higher as she walked, her ears were pointed up straighter, and her mane had a bit more of length and curl in it. The latter actually reminded me of the Future Minuette who’d visited me yesterday, whose hair had been curled into colourful foam.

“So, Minuette,” I said as we walked along. “I’ve been thinking about your case.”

“Hmm?” Colgate said as she looked back at me.

“When we’re in Canterlot I’d like to pay a visit to one of the princesses and get your exile overturned.”

Colgate’s eyes locked open. “Wait.” She swerved to walk right beside me, “Really get it overturned? So fast?”

“You explicitly used time magic to save Trottingham,” I said matter of fact and turned to give her a coy smile. “It’s kinda hard to keep that quiet for long. The EIS will figure out who you are in week or so, whenever some analyst somewhere gets their mitts on the list of time manipulators. There’s probably something like five ponies on that list.”

A smile crept over Colgate’s face. “I suppose there aren’t many blue ponies on that list either.”

“Anyway,” I continued, “you’ve used time magic for good and it’s not inherently corrupting like most illegal magic. So long as you promise not to cause too many paradoxes, I think we can quietly get you a licence or something. I wonder if it’d be easier to get it from Princess Luna?” I mused aloud. As an added bonus, if we went to the palace during the night we might be able to pay a visit to the archives and the Star Swirl the Bearded section. I had a hunch that if Twilight was right about time spells being there, then I might find a few answers.

“It’d be nice to go back to Canterlot,” Colgate said to herself. “I wonder what Twinkleshine’s been up to…”


We heard the peep of the locomotive’s whistle just as we arrived at the station. The carriage slowly moved up to the platform with the town’s little tank engine pushing it along from behind. We broke into a run to the platform steps and found Dad’s secretary waiting for us at the top.

The secretary held up a hoof to stall us. “Mr Turner, Miss Minuette, there’s no rush. We’ve already had word that the Canterlot train is running late.”

“Oh,” I said as I reached the platform. “Is it normally late?”

“It often seems that way,” the secretary replied. “They normally make it up on the downhill run to Ponyville.”

“They should change the times then,” Colgate said.

“Perhaps,” the secretary replied. “There’s not usually a train today anyway, but the Mayor insisted.”

“Nice of him,” Colgate said with a smile my way.

“With everything Dad’s been doing for us,” I said and shook my head with a smirk. “I should run for mayor in Ponyville when the Mayor retires.”

The secretary smiled. “I’d vote for you. Anyway, since we have some extra time, the Mayor has opened the station café if you’d like a quick cup of coffee before your trip.”

“Well, if he’s being that nice,” I looked over at Colgate and she nodded her agreement.

The secretary gracefully nodded. “Right this way.” She led us around and through the door into the stone hut that comprised Trottingham Station. Inside was a bar with a coffee machine behind it and two tables. Dad stood at the bar. Without noticing us he took his cup by the lid and lifted it up in the air to drink.

“Morning, Dad. I hope we’re not interrupting you in your favourite café?”

Dad put his cup down and grinned over his shoulder as Colgate and I joined him at the bar. “It might be soon if the coffee’s always this good.”

Dad’s secretary moved behind the bar and started preparing the machine. “It’s just a skill I’ve picked up over time,” she said pleasantly.

“I’ve got something for you, Time,” Dad said as he slid an envelope face-down over to me. “I got up early so I could use the official stationary and put the mayoral seal on it.”

The letter was thick and sealed with a wax seal stamped with the Trottingham coat of arms: a drama mask, a griffon claw, and a flame surrounded by a horseshoe. I turned it over to find it addressed to, “Their illustrious majesties, Princesses Celestia and Luna.” Underlining in smaller lettering was the note, “To be delivered by care of Time Turner alone.”

“What’s inside?” I asked as two coffee cups were placed in front of Colgate and me.

“My account of the events,” Sod Turner said gruffly. “In detail, with what information we have on the changeling threat, your suspicions about the EIS, and a request for a detachment of guards.” Sod took another sip from his coffee cup. “I don’t want any reprisals, so make sure their highnesses take interest.”

I nodded and took a sip from my cup. It surprised me with a very creamy hit and an almost malt-like cereal aftertaste. I put the cup down and ran my tongue around my mouth. “I might need to have another cup after this.”

“It’s a little heavy,” Colgate critiqued. “Very nice, but not good for keeping yourself awake all night.” Despite the heaviness, Colgate still lifted the cup up to take another drink.

“You’ll have to skip the second round,” Dad said. “You and Giggles over there have a train to catch. Finish your drinks before Smoke Stack starts getting passive aggressive with that peeper of his.”

There was a wet explosion as Colgate giggled mid drink, she put the cup down and covered her muzzle while she giggled a little more.

“Alright, Time,” Dad continued. “We’re letting you get away again, but send us a damn postcard from Canterlot. We’ll need to know things turned out alright.”

“Sure, what card do you want: the Palace, the Red Fort, the waterfalls, or the Royal Gardens?”

“How about the least flippant thing you can find,” Dad grouched. “And Honey and I will be visiting. Do not make me send ponies to hunt you down, because I bloody well will.” He fixed me with a glare, which softened as he added, “It was good to have you back, even if it was brief.”

“It was good to be back,” I echoed stoically.

“Good. Now get going.”

“Uhh,” Colgate said with a wave as she patted down her face with a napkin. “I might need to visit the Mare’s first.”

The Secretary smiled. “Follow me, Miss Minuette,” she said and led Colgate out the café and around the corner.

“Don’t take too long,” Dad called after them.

We went over towards the train. The tank engine itself was facing the back of the carriage so it could push it along instead of pulling. Smoke Stack waved from the cab at the back of the train. “Oi, Time, you guys ready for the run up the hill? Because the git running the Canterlot train always complains if I’m not up there waiting for him.” Stack turned to adjust something inside the cab, but we could all hear him complain, “Not that the ponce is ever on time. Probably spends all his time in a Los Pegasus club hittin’ on all the fillies.”

“It was good seeing you again, Stack,” I called.

Stack leaned back out the cab and waved. “Good seeing you too, Time. Make sure you catch the train again sometime.”

“I will,” I called back with a wave. Dad and I moved over to the carriage and opened the door.

“Now this is where I say ‘bye’,” Dad said. “I’ve got a great big mess to clean up because of you two, and I gotta get back to it.” Dad paused and scanned the horizon around us before holding an arm out. “Alright, come here.” I stepped over and Dad pulled me into a hug. “Have a safe trip, Time.”

“I will, and I’ll make sure to send that postcard.”

“You damn well better.” Dad gave me a couple of thumps on the back and let me go. “See you.”

“See you,” I said with a nod and we both turned and went our separate ways.

I wandered through the carriage and picked out the seat that would give us the best view during the train’s climb up the switchbacks out of the Old Valley. Smoke Stack started pulling the engine’s whistle to hurry up Colgate as I loaded my bags into the luggage rack.

A few moments later Colgate finally stepped onto the train, shut the door, and immediately shucked her bags off into a convenient corner with a relieved sigh. I stood up and made my way over asking, “You want me to put those in the rack?”

“You can, but first…” Colgate advanced on me, threw an arm around my neck and kissed me. Surprised, I didn't resist as Colgate’s tongue slipped into my mouth. The whistle blew and the train began to move, but the world seemed to stand still for us. Colgate’s tongue played with mine. Her saliva wasn’t the minty taste I’d expected though. More like honey. Warmer. Sweeter. Nicer even.

It felt like hours passed by the time Colgate finally withdrew and gazed into my eyes. “I decided I shouldn’t let you get away. So Time, will you be mine?”

I realized then, I should never have fought it.

Comments ( 15 )

Weddings--It's all about the free food.

You can tell this story has been running for a long time when Jake is still listed as “JJ Gingerhooves” on the cover page.

Minuette going to see what Twinkleshine is up to... yeah, nothing foreboding there. Make sure you say hi to Lyra too while you’re in town...

Yay! I was just wondering what I was going to read this morning.

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And booze, don't forget about the booze

“Twas the best character I could’st conceive for mine role,” in what sounded like a stereotypical pegasopolilan accent.

You realize that play was not really about true love but rather about the dangers of idiots falling in love and doing drastic things for their supposed love, right?

Dad’s eyes spontaneously changed to emerald slits in an eye blink and his voice took on a strange echo. “You have no idea how happy I am to see how well you’ve been doing, but I’m a little surprised to see you as characters from Roamer and Tulip. Don’t you know they kill themselves in the end?”

See? He gets it.

‘Pipe’ looked back over her shoulder. “If you know the words you can join in too.”

Put your hands together / If you want to clap
I'll take you through / This monkey rap!

I knew the site's new 'quote' feature would come in handy! :trollestia:

Seriously though, this is always one of those stories I forget all about right up until I see a new chapter in my feed. Then I get extremely happy when it all comes back to me! I'm liking how you're tying this into the big Canterlot wedding, which I suppose makes sense considering that Minuette and Time Turner (I think?) are there.

This is a rather underrated story, and I really hope we get to see another update a little sooner in the future!

Yay, it’s back! And a great battle was won. Imagine if Time was just a tiny fraction of a second late with his last reset though. Makes me shudder.

So... am I the only one who is worried about those griffon extremists that were mentioned? I hope I’m not just being paranoid.
I’d hate for something to happen to the town later.

Hah, just when I thought “those two should finally kiss”, they do it just a few scenes later. About damn time!
Don’t resist, Turner. The ship has sailed. In a train. Huh.
This will certainly not make things awkward with Goldie. Nope. Not at all.

Well that was a hell of an ending. Well played, Rodi. Sorry I couldn't keep up to help with the finale, but here's hoping the ride doesn't end here!

Colgate's gonna have to share him with Carrot Top. Oh boy.

Well so much for her promise. This definitely complicates things a lot!!

Still, things are heating up quite nicely and this was a blast to read! <3

*Cracks a whip* Now work faster on making the next chapter!! =P

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The quote thing isn't really new (I think, I may be horribly wrong) I believe all you had to do was click the " icon in the comment editor and paste something inside there.

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Oh, I was talking about the ability to instantly quote a highlighted paragraph while you're still reading a story

With all the time that passes between these chapters, I always forgot how much I love your humor.

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It's not Turner's fault - he is literally destined to be with Minuette, and Carrot just wanted someone around.
Anyone would have done at the time, I'm sure; he was just nice, easygoing and indicated that he valued what she did. He acted to help, and in response she latched on harder than he anticipated. He simply didn't argue because.... any number of author-reasons I'm sure.
His character suggests he typically would have resisted intimacy with Carrot, but couldn't find a reason to bother. THAT is what they had.
~(OvO)~

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