The Lone Guard

by Zipiedion

Chapter 2

Running back, Kada's courage faltered. She could see that already, more than half of the escort unit was dead, among them was their commanding officer, his body covered in fatal slashes that caused him to simply bleed out. Not a nice way to go. Her comrades never stood a chance against the insect ambush, there were simply too many. Quickly scanning the battlefield, her heart lifted when she saw that Pip was among the living along with 3 other ponies, but noticed that she was beginning to get overrun. Knowing she wasn't going to last much longer without help, Kada sprinted to her friend's side.

"Agh, glad you could join the party Kada!" Pip yelled while parrying a blow from a drone. She always did find focus in humor somehow.

With the drone completely focused on taking out Pip, Kada sprinted past, using her wingblade to cut off a couple of the Nitkan's legs, causing it to fall on the ground screaming in pain. Quickly and efficiently, Pip dealt the fatal blow, stabbing it straight in the chest cavity where its two hearts resided. With spouts of its blue blood spraying everywhere, the bug finally gave way to silence and died.

"Did you really think that it would be fun without me?" Kada replied.

Pip simply responded with a shrug. "Come on, there are still more of them out there!"

And so they fought and they kept on fighting, time going through in a blur. Swipe after swipe, stab after stab, all that mattered to them now was their lives and the ending of the bunch of bloated slugs attacking them. After five more of the damn things fell to their swords, which were now more than soaked in the now familiar thick blue liquid, they lost two more of their fellow comrades, a pegasus to a poisoned wound, and an Earth pony to an ugly beheading.

"They will be remembered, they fought bravely." Kada thought.

Still, the two friends kept on fighting, but deep down, they knew that they could not win. Slowly, but surely, they were being pushed back by the flow of Nitkans. Eventually, it was only Pip and Kada defending their side of the camp, unknowing of how the rest of the unit was faring at this point.

As more blood was spilled and more ground was lost, they were beginning to lose hope, their strength slowly fading, giving way to exhaustion. Each swing of their swords was weaker than the last. They were approaching the center of the camp with their backs to it. There wasn't much actually there. The only thing in it was the VIP tent, where Kada could only assume the objective was. It was then that she could she a flash of light originating from that very same tent. In a second it took her to realize what happened.

"Mother fracker! He's a unicorn. The damn coward teleported and left us here to die!" Kada yelled at the top of her lungs.

She felt a hate that she never felt before, born out of the fear and shock of being left behind. She turned her attention back to the drone in front of her, slicing with her newborn fury. "He is going to die a painful death for leaving us behind, the coward". She fought with a strength she didn't know she had, inside she felt betrayed, and she focused that into whatever was in front of her. She didn't know when she killed it, but after a bit she realized that she was stabbing the thing when it was already in more than five pieces and Pip was yelling at her.

"--ome on! Snap out of it Kada! We've got to get out of here alive first. We have to regroup with whoever's left and get the hay out of here!" Pip screamed, her fear was more than noticeable in her voice. The fear of dying.

Realizing that her best friend was afraid, something clicked inside Kada. Her anger began to die down, her senses coming back to her.

"Alright Pip, lets go"

Her friend replied with a quick nod. "Okay, then we shou---agh!" Pip screamed at the top of her lungs as Kada realized just what happened. A Nitkan had crept up behind her, crawling low on the ground, and just dismembered one of her friends hind legs. Pip fell, still screaming in an intense pain and Kada caught her before she hit the ground, in total shock.

The insect raised itself to its normal height, towering over the two as it was just about to give the killing blow.

"I'm really going to die here." she thought. Time inched by as she waited for a silence and cold to meet her. She could see the insect move its claw in a seemingly slow fashion. A certain calm washed over her, knowing that soon there would be no more pain, no more suffering from these bug bastards. She was ready to go. Then out of the corner of her vision she saw something silver move. It was a giant longsword. It swept across her entire field of vision as it cut the insect in front of them in half, the color blue blinding her as all of the bug's blood sprayed everywhere.

"What just happened?"

Wiping the blood off her face so she could see, she turned around to see a stallion absolutely drenched in pony and bug blood alike, making it almost impossible for her to recognize him at first. She realized it was Soren, the quiet Earth pony. He may have been covered in blood, but overall he didn't look injured.

"Everypony else is already dead. We have to find a way out of here, if we don't we are all going to die." he said simply in the deep voice he almost never uses.

"I....I can tele..port us ou..t." Pip said weakly, still bleeding.

"Can she do that?" Soren asked Kada.

"I don't...know. She's wounded and exhausted. It might kill her."

"I ca...n tr..y, if we don't, we a..ll die, need you clo...ser" Pip said.

As they grouped together, Pip's horn starting glowing weakly, slowly gaining power, then brightened intensely, almost blindingly. This might be the last time that she was going to be with her friend. The friend she knew since she was a little filly. It couldn't end for her like this. Kada hugged her friend, crying

"Everything is going to be all right, I promise." She whispered, tears streaming down her face.

"You know I ne..ver belie...ved in happy endi..ngs." Pip said quietly.

And with that, Kada's world turned white.

Comments

[slenderpony14]

Not much to correct here! Just a lack of commas and two spelling errors. But they were so small that i almost skimmed over them! This is a great story, and i should reccomend putting it in some groups! It is still moving a little fast, but i believe you can slow it down if you try!
6/5 mustashes!

[IceQB]

"they will be remembered, they fought bravely." Kada thought.

^ Capitalisation

Her friend replied with a quick nod. "Okay, then we shou---agh!" Pip screamed at the top of her lungs as Kada realized just what happened. A Nitkan had crept up behind her, crawling low on the ground, and just dismembered one of her friends hind legs. Pip fell, still screaming in an intense pain and Kada caught her before she hit the ground, in total shock.

OOH. Ouch.

And with that, Kada's world turned white.

Oooh... dammit. And I already felt your character. That was fast.

Overall, based on these two chapters, you seem to grasp the concepts of writing pretty well. Pacing wasn't too shabby, and you did wow me with certain twists... albeit them being fast... so you get to maintain that 7 until you have more chapters out.

With utmost profession for perfection and passion,
Ice Cube.