Chapter 9: Tank Take-down
Left 4 Derpy
Chapter 9: Tank Take-down
The Group savored their unhealthy meal provided by Ditzy as long as they could. But as the saying goes, all good things come to an end; as did the survivor’s momentary pause from the apocalypse. Although they would have been content with finishing off the remaining muffins, Ditzy convinced them to save some for a later time. After all, nobody knew when, or even if, they would next find any edible food.
Francis, making sure to remove the brace this time, kicked the safehouse’s reinforced metal door open before blasting holes through the zombies that stood outside it. Once clear of obvious threats, Francis looked down the alley that the door opened into. He noted the open door at the opposite end of the alley with a grin.
“Come on, hurry up. There’s no way a few muffins made all of you fat and slow.” He grinned at Bill, who had just stepped out of the safehouse. “Well… Slow-er.”
“Ah shut up.”
“Right then. Everyone follow me, and try to keep up.”
Louis walked up beside Bill. “You know the way Francis?”
“Uh… yea, of course I do. I know the rest of the rout like the inside of my vest.”
“Or the inside of a one-way alley,” Bill said flatly as he pointed to the open door a short walk before them. “But knowing you Francis, I’m sure you’ll find a way to get us into trouble or lost.”
“On second thought… Bill, why don’t you lead? That way, we can get a clear shot at the zombies while you distract them by being eaten.” Bill’s only response was a scowl and a cold shoulder as he took point of the group.
Zoey accompanied Ditzy out of the safe house, making sure the bag of leftover muffins was safe around the grey pegasus’s neck. “So it’s no trouble for you to carry, right? It isn’t in the way of your sword, is it?”
Ditzy shook her head and looked up to the kind human. “Heh, you sound like my mom. I’m fine, really.” She pulled her katana out and swished it around a few times to demonstrate. “Shee?” she mumbled through the sword’s hilt.
“Alright, if you’re sure, though I still wouldn’t not mind carrying it for you.”
“And risk you swiping a few muffins behind our backs,” Ditzy asked jokingly.
“Ha, and we aren’t taking the same risk with entrusting them with you?” Zoey retorted. The two shared a good laugh before catching up to the others, who had moved on down the alley. Ditzy, however, opted to remain on the ground, galloping beside Zoey. The combined weight of both the sword and the muffins would burn too much energy if she flew, and she knew she needed to save her energy to help fend off the zombies they would inevitably encounter.
Once everyone was present, Bill turned to face the group. “Alright people, this is going to be a long run. First we need to make it inside the storage warehouse across the parking lot from this doughnut shop.” He pointed at the open door behind him. “From there, we can gain access to the sewage treatment facility next door and make our way through the sewers until we’re right beneath the hospital. Then all we have to do is make it inside to the next safehouse. Any questions?”
“Yea, I got one,” Francis stated gruffly. “Why do we have to go through the sewers? As if these damn vampires are exploding and puking all over us wasn’t bad enough. Now we have to wade through a river of shit as well? No thanks.”
“Well Francis, which would you prefer? The empty sewers, or the endless hordes of monsters trying to kill us?”
“The monsters. Every time. Now I don’t know if you’ve noticed, but we seem to be doing a pretty damn good job at kicking their asses.”
“…He does have a point,” Louis said.
Bill looked between the two of them. “Are you kidding me? We’re running low on ammo as it is! We can’t just go gallivanting down main street shouting ‘Come at me bro!’ We have to strategize! And if that means wading through someone’s feces then so be it. Now come on!”
Bill took a few more steps towards the door before realizing nobody was following him. He turned back to the others. “Well?”
“Well…” Zoey rubbed the back of her neck. “As much as I hate to say it, I actually have to agree with Francis on this one. The sewers sound, and smell like a bad idea.”
“And It would ruin the muffins for sure,” Ditzy cut in.
Bill looked to each of them with a scowl as he thought. “…Fine. But if we all die, it’s your own damn fault!” He turned back to the door and stormed into the doughnut shop. The rest of the group followed him this time, though they were still a little hesitant.
After a quick search for any food, in which they found nothing, as usual, the group gathered in the parking lot outside. Once again, they were met with a surprising lack of zombies. …not that they were complaining.
“So, since nobody wants to take the safe rout, what’s the plan on getting to the hospital through the city,” Bill asked grumpily.
“Well…” Francis looked around the parking lot for a moment before something caught his attention. “We could drive there,” he continued, pointing at a car in front of the warehouse across the parking lot.
“It has no gas, you moron!” Bill was beginning to sound agitated.
“Yea, but there’s a gas station right there for just such an occasion,” Francis replied, pointing to a gas station at the end of the parking lot.
“Huh, well this should be ea-” Bill was cut short by a Tank smashing through one of the warehouse’s loading doors like it was foil. It stopped only a fraction of a second before it spotted them and let forth a tremendous, throaty roar. “-easy,” Bill concluded.
The enraged tank smashed its fist into the side of the car, sending it flying towards the group. Everyone was able to dodge the projectile before it impacted where they had been, and flipped once or twice before crashing into the shop that they had just come from. Seizing its opportunity, the Tank charged at the survivors as they recovered from their latest near-death experience.
Thinking fast, Francis slung the M-60 from his back and began to unload into the charging monstrosity. The other humans joined in the spray of fire as soon as they were back on their feet. Derpy, however, had her sword drawn, but soon found herself backing away in fear. It was frightening enough to hear Bill describe the Tank, but to actually see one charging straight for her was almost too much to handle.
It was like the thing didn’t even notice it was being peppered with bullets. It just kept on coming for them! The entire group had begun to walk backwards as the Tank neared. And just when Derpy thought things couldn’t get worse, Francis’s M-60 clicked empty.
“Shit!!!” Francis tossed the useless weapon aside and pulled out his shotgun. But before he could open fire, the Tank rushed forward and punched him square in the chest, sending him flying back into the shop like the car had. Luckily, Francis’s fall was broken by a table. He picked himself up shakily, watching as the rest of the group played a particularly dangerous game of ‘keep away’ with the Tank.
Derpy and Zoey headed towards a truck that was backed up to the warehouse, Bill was leading the tank towards the gas station, and Louis was coming to see if Francis was doing ok. At least, as ‘ok’ as one can be when they get hit in the chest with the force of a wrecking ball.
“Shit Francis! You ok?!” Louis asked as he stepped through the massive hole where a wall had been.
Francis clutched his chest. He probably… no, he definitely had a broken rib or two. Possibly some internal bleeding as well. “…Just peachy.”
It was obvious Francis was in pain. Louis took out his bottle of pills and looked at it for a moment before holding it out towards the biker. “Here, take these.” Francis pushed the pills away.
“I don’t want any damn pills.” He looked up to the gas station, then the tank. “…But I do want your Molotov.”
“Huh?”
“I said I want your Molotov. Having trouble hearing?”
Louis’s concerned expression faded. “I heard you just fine. I just wasn’t expecting a Molotov to be the first thing you asked for.”
“Yea, well, I have a plan. Now would you mind handing it over?”
“Ok, fine.” He took the whiskey bottle off his belt and handed it to Francis. The biker snatched it from Louis’s hand and staggered over to the overturned car. After attaching the Molotov to his belt, Francis pried a car door open and began kicking it.
“Come here and gimme’ a hand,” he said between kicks.
“What are you even trying to do?”
“What does it look like? I’m trying to kick this door of its hinges.”
“Ok, so why are you doing that?”
Francis stopped kicking the door and gave an agitated sigh. “What is this, 20 questions? Look, if you have anything else to use as a shield then be my guest. But I don’t plan on facing that damn thing again without something between us. Now help me with this! We don’t have much time!”
Louis shrugged and began kicking the door with Francis. The door didn’t last long under their combined kicks, and quickly fell off the car. Francis picked it up with a grunt and walked back out to the parking lot. By now, the Tank was still chasing after Bill, who was doing a remarkable job of running backwards while spraying the beast relentlessly.
With the Tank still preoccupied, Francis began making his way towards the gas station while Louis chased after the Tank to help Bill. Once Francis reached one of the pumps, he sat the car door down and removed the pump’s nozzle. Fortunately the pump did not require a pre-use payment. Francis smirked as he began spraying the pump and surrounding pavement with gasoline.
Once he felt like he had drenched the pump in enough gas, Francis whipped his shotgun back out and began waving it in the air. “Hey you big, ugly Tank! Over here!” He shot the gun in the air twice for added effect. “Come here you shit-for-brains freak!”
The tank stopped dead in its tracks before spinning around to the biker. Francis could almost see flames in its eyes. …just as planned.
Francis put the gun away as the Tank began charging him from across the parking lot. He pulled out the Molotov and lit it before picking up the car door with the other hand. “That’s right, come here you dumb bastard!”
“What the hell are you doing Francis,” Bill shouted angrily.
“Don’t get your beard in a knot old man! I’ve got a plan!”
Before Bill could inquire what Francis’s plan was, the Tank charged at the biker like it had before. But this time Francis rolled to the side as the Tank swung its colossal fist, causing the monster to slam into the gas station’s glass wall instead. After a split-second recovery, the two of them exchanged a brief, angry glance.
“I hate gas stations,” Francis said with a smirk as he tossed the Molotov onto the pump behind him, igniting the gas he had sprayed into a ball of fire. The sudden action snapped the Tank out of the intense stare. It raised its fist for another killer punch, watching the biker stand before it unwavering.
Francis pulled the car door in front of his chest a split second before the massive fist made contact, and was sent flying through the wall of fire just as the gas pump exploded. The Tank stumbled back from the explosion before the fire reached the reserve tanks beneath the pump. The second explosion was so powerful that it blew the over-hanging cover into the air, which crushed the tank as it came crashing back down.
Francis, however, flew away from the explosion and into the truck that Zoey and Ditzy were by. After leaving a noticeable dent in the side of the truck, he fell to the ground face-first. Zoey and Ditzy rushed over and rolled him over on his back.
“Holy fuck Francis! What kind of plan was that,” Zoey shouted. She noticed a bit of blood beginning to run from the side of his mouth.
“I think I broke a rib.” He turned and coughed, spitting some blood on the pavement beside him. “…or all of them.”
Ditzy could feel a tear coming on as she looked over the gravely injured biker. “Francis…”
Francis didn’t pay her any attention. “Hey Louis,” he shouted as he turned back over. “I wouldn’t mind having a few of those pills now…”
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Right! Its about damn time i got this up!
sorry its shorter than usual, but i'm going to start keeping the chapters around 2000 words, instead of 3-4 thousand.
That way it'll be easier to write, and i'll be able to put chapters out more frequently.
in any case; sorry for the immense wait, and i hope you all enjoy!
oh, and first.
good to have you back
1158652 well, there are only 4 humans.
...for now.
and thanks for the compliment.
1158624 good to be back, my friend.
yay more frequent chapters
Cool, Based on the comments about INTELLIGENT ZOMBIIIIIES i shall read.
Anyways if this has any gore i might go 
Anyways RAED TIAM Bye! 
1158669 you get an o'mally
flareflamingguardian.deviantart.com/favourites/7471350
This is...bucking brilliant!
AWSOOOOOOOOOMEEEE. The hunter needs to live more and just Ponynap derpy...
Then zoey would come and then the rest would come.
Just get a few tanks and witches BEWM, Deadmeat.
Then he could keep derpy as some sort of exotic pet 
and as a living trophy or something... 
Heh, Left 4 Speed reference. Nice to also see a little variation in the Survivors' route. I could deal with them just going through the campaign line, but it would be a bit stale. Here, there's some uncertainty.
Good to have ye back, mate. I trust we'll be getting updates a little faster now?
Falcon PAUNCH!
I'm Derpy!
1159039 as long as college doesnt interfere, then i sincerely hope to. yes.
222532 I see I'm not the only one.
Welcome to the Party!
When Francis kicked off the car door to use as a shield, I was thinking to myself "Edmar isn't actually going to have Francis use the car door as a shield, is he? The physics behind that would be all wrong. If he was already sent flying from a punch, then the car door won't be any use because he'll just be sent flying again."
But then you ended up being a genius, and many cheers were had.
2.bp.blogspot.com/-Xw8DYu5nITk/TqcKDX5J2AI/AAAAAAAAAeU/g9woPUiw3Bw/s320/derpy_hooves_clapping_animated-%252528n1319534930227%252529.gif
Huzza! Moar to comez
Francis: "I think I broke a rib... or all of them."
gamingirresponsibly.com/wp-content/uploads/2012/03/t5_joker.jpg
Oh my god this is awesome.
I don't know why I never looked on FimFictions for awesome MLP FIM Fanfics before!?
Genious.
Love the Left for Speed referance by the way.
Oh, and one more thing.
I HOPE FRANCIS TURNS INTO A PONY!!!
A swearing biker pony that hates ponies that kills zombies with shotguns is just way too awesome.
He's gonna freak when he magically picks something up with his hoofes without fingers.
(And one way for a pony to use a gun is by cutting off the little piece of metal that's infront of the trigger so ponies CAN use firearms.)
684482 i saw him i just though it was part of the tank and then i saw "this is a dress" on it
Francis is an idiot genius!
And hooray, his plan didn't involve soiling the muffins!
And Welcome back, Edmar!
Is Francis dying? Is he? Please say he is for that would very much make my night all the better, also.....I find it odd how you switched from Derpy to Ditzy withouty even knowing it, true they are the same mare but as a fan you should know the changes lol.....I VOTE FOR DERPY!
Damn, that thing sounds like a bitch to take down....on to the next one, let me know if you never need any help, ideas or advice, I got your back bro...also...YOU RESTORED DERPY'S LEGENDARY EYES, THANK YOU SO VERY MUCH BRO, THANKS A LOT
1160125
That's the thing I'm hoping will NOT happen, lol.
You alright Francis?
Give me my damn pills!
...
Francis. Your hand is furry.
heh.
1159039 1160099 1160101 I'm thrilled that someone gets those references.
thanks for that!
1160125 1160437 1160882 Francis will not be turning into a pony.
at least... not in this story.
1159248 i have gone back and worked with my proofreader to fix many errors in previous chapters.
if anybody else see's any, feel free to point them out and i will fix them ASAP.
thank you ALL for the generous feedback!
You'll never know how happy this makes me!
1158669
I ... hope you mean they'll meet L4D2 guys.
Because if Francis turns,
images5.fanpop.com/image/answers/2277000/2277038_1324834611715.81res_326_300.jpg
1164306 as i said 3 comments ago...
"Francis will not be turning into a pony.
at least... not in this story."
1164209 Couldn't resist pointing it out. I LOVE Mass Effect.
1164336
images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26300000/Trolololo-princess-trollestia-26369330-894-894.png
images5.fanpop.com/image/photos/26300000/Trolololo-princess-trollestia-26369306-400-400.png
arch.413chan.net/1305315091143s.jpg
TROLLESTIAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAAA!!!!!!!!!!!!
1164372 well...
)
for starts, 2 of your 3 pics failed to load right. (rofl
secondly; what i mean, is that there will be a sequal.
1164398
They loaded perfectly fine (for me at least).
And sequel?!
*Looks left*
*Looks right*
*Watches*
1164418
I sense a sequal! :D
1164209 1159039
actually its a left 4 speed 2 reference
I love the Left 4 Speed2 reference.
Could you have Derpy use a gun or something at somepoint?
Not like, actually use it but I mean fire it.
By accident.
Francis could be like, "You know what, I'm tired of this, take a stupid gun and learn to use it already!"
*Hands Derpy gun with the little piece of metal in front of the trigger sawed off.*
Derpy: "Ummm, okay."
Starts fiddling with it, accedentally pulling the trigger.
Bullet starts ricoceting (How do I spell that???) off of walls and eventually hits a gass can, blowing it up.
Derpy: "Oops."
Francis: "You know what, fuck it, give me the gun."
Takes back gun and walks away.
Francis: "I hate ponies." He mutters under his breath.
Lol, that would be funny.
Kinda hoping for this to happen when Derpy was messing with the gun in the first place.
1165570
Yeah, yeah. I know. Quit ye whinin'.
But, of course, this is the ORIGINAL Left 4 Dead, too, so it's not like it matches up completely anyway...
Dis story r worthy of teh brohoof.
1166878 was origionally planning to have her accidentally shoot Bill's hat off, but in the process of writing Francis being a dick somehow replaced it.
but fret not; i have a perfect place for just such a scene in le' sequal.
Make more dood i hate waiting
Very good
Well I certainly hope it still goe on as left 5 dead I wouldn't dare rad the story without Francis in it. He's the guy who cause the problems and makes the story much more interesting.~
i3.kym-cdn.com/entries/icons/original/000/000/696/louispills.jpg
“It has no gas, you moron!” Bill was beginning to sound agitated.
“Yea, but there’s a gas station right there for just such an occasion,” Francis replied, pointing to a gas station at the end of the parking lot.
“Huh, well this should be ea-” Bill was cut short by a Tank smashing through one of the warehouse’s loading doors like it was foil. It stopped only a fraction of a second before it spotted them and let forth a tremendous, throaty roar. “-easy,” Bill concluded.
LEFT 4 SPEED 2 REFERENCE!
not when you have the real video
[youtube=http://www.youtube.com/watch?feature=player_detailpage&v=M1uVi41I1oc]
LULZ
NICE reference to left for speed 2 that video is BUCKING hilarious
MUSTACHE for you