Gaiden: Equestria Was Merely a Setback
A/N: Special thanks to EquinoxLiege, Greycait, the other sans, and InsanityStreak for your comments last chapter! They've really helped me out from a tough spot so I'm grateful.
Now, if last chapter was full-on fluff, this chapter is...not.
Enjoy, and I hope to hear from you all in the comments below!
"Mother, what do you want for Mother's Day?"
"You, Hela, your littler sister, and your father are all I could ever hope for, Sleep Near. You all are the reason I live."
"But I want to get something for you..."
"What I do not have that I...that I want...I can never have...so don't worry. I am as happy as I can be."
Princess Luna was alternating between doing paperwork and playing with her toddler, Fenrir, when a polite knock at her door interrupted her balancing act of work and slacking off. She opened it to find the gaunt man she had put in charge of her forces after he outwitted her military and royal guard.
"Princess, there is a message to you from an unknown source. I have had it examined and it poses no threat, but I believe its contents are of interest to you."
Luna was surprised that her guard captain had taken the effort to bring this to her in-person, but she appreciated the gesture. It must be important if the Human man deemed it important enough to bring himself.
"Thank you, Tarkin."
He bowed politely and left with a small amount of haste, giving Luna the feeling that he did not want to be present when she did read it.
The letter was plain, though it was not from any Equestrian parchment Luna was familiar with. Its seal had been broken already by those investigating it for any danger, due to its anonymous sender, though the remains of it reminded Luna of the colors the first Kael'thas used to wear, red and gold, the colors of his people.
Luna's face would soon match the red of the seal when she peered inside and read the simple words within, as well as see the strand of silver-blue hair within.
Come to the Ursa Cavern alone.
Luna teleported straight to the location requested after handing off to Loki their youngest child. She was not about to play around with whomever dared make such a bold proclamation. Who would dare attach strands of what appeared to be, but couldn't be, Trixie's hair to the letter. Did they seek to mock Luna by bringing her back to the place where Trixie's fall began?
Entering the cave in complete fury, Luna smashed a hand into one wall to make the entire structure shake, "Who dares summon me to this place? Speak fast, for I will not forgive such insolence and you have until I find you to say what will be on your epitaph!"
After the rumbling faded away, Luna found herself seemingly alone in the cave except for the leftover skeletons of two Ursas. After receiving no response for close to ten seconds, Luna lifted a hand up and formed an orb of magical energy to hurl at the cave and destroy the place she detested so much. A voice finally speaking out stayed her hand however, and Luna nearly fell from shock.
"So much time has passed, and yet so little has changed."
That voice...
Luna shook her head. No. She had to be hallucinating. This couldn't be real.
"No..."
Out of the darkness of the cavern's depths stepped someone Luna knew all too well...though in a form Luna had not at first expected.
"Hello...Mother."
Standing with her arms crossed over her chest, the Elven form of Trixie Lulamoon stood before Luna, who in turn was left in almost horror at how shocked she was.
"T-Trixie?"
The Elf nodded before lowering their gaze to the ground...averting eye contact like Trixie used to when she was nervous or bashful.
She was different from the Elven Trixie Luna was familiar with. This wasn't the exact same body that Luna helped Trixie construct in their transformation lessons...this Trixie seemed older, if only because she possessed more womanly curves. Already large hips were nothing if not motherly, and Trixie's bosom was larger than Luna remembered it. Trixie's hair was longer too, reaching halfway down her back, and instead of simple robes she was wearing an ornate, specifically tailored set of clothing that clung to her. Trixie's shirt and skirt both had silver patterns over their indigo material, and a green orb that appeared to be broken in half sat above her chest from a silver necklace hanging around her throat. A familiar purple cape trailed behind her, though instead of regular cloth it was made from what appeared to be fine silk...or at least, a material similar enough to give the same soft impression and appearance.
As Luna continued to observe just how...grown up Trixie looked, she heard her daughter speak.
"You look well," Trixie gave the smallest of smiles, trying to be polite and civil despite their last meeting.
Shaking herself out of her reverie, Luna teleported to try and instantly grab Trixie and hug her as tightly as possible...but she emerged only to find herself to have missed Trixie.
Trixie had moved back a few feet to avoid the touch, once again sheepishly looking down, "I..."
So much had changed for her...but she hadn't come back ready to just pick things up where they had been before everything happened.
Trixie may have come to visit her, but she hadn't come with forgiveness dripping from her sleeve. Luna could hardly blame her, as she had taken this mare, now woman, and brought her life first to ruin and then to an end. If Luna were Trixie, years of being apart still would not have fixed the wounds that must have caused. To place your love in someone, only to have them unintentionally shatter it.
Luna found herself mimicking Trixie, though not by choice but rather by her own feelings of shame, "I...I understand."
The cave fell silent, leaving Luna's mind to begin flying through all of the things she wanted to ask. Trixie died. She knew that much. Luna had put her own horn through Trixie's heart, breaking it in more ways than one. After the battle, nothing had been left of Trixie...the alternate Sleep Near and Hela could not even find her even with their supernatural powers...
What had happened to Trixie? Where has she been? Why was she still an Elf? How did she come to wear such luxurious clothing? How many years has she experienced since she disappeared? How has she been? If she is alive, is Kael? That would explain the Elf form, but where could they possibly have been that near omnipotent beings could not find them?
"How...where..."
Trixie closed her eyes and smirked as she heard Luna try to verbalize all the thoughts going through her mind.
"You all left Kael alone with just about infinite power. Unlike me, he could wield it...control it..."
Luna narrowed her eyes at her daughter, unsure what Trixie was getting at, "What are you saying?"
"That he took us to a place where I could be free of the pain and agony I suffered here," Trixie looked down at one of her own soft, pale hands, "Where I could, for the first time in my life, live as who I wanted to be and not who I became because of what I went through."
Trixie laughed for a moment before bringing a hand up to the necklace she was wearing.
"We've been on so many adventures...met so many people..." she changed her gaze to barely be looking at Luna instead of the floor, "I think you would like them. They're all like us, or at least they almost all are. Broken souls who have had to pick up their pieces..."
Her eyes shut as she gripped the necklace tighter. Luna felt her heart break as she saw familiar pain flash across Trixie's face.
"We've also felt loss..." Trixie began to choke back tears as she kept speaking, "I had the chance to start anew, to make everything the way I wanted it to be, but I still couldn't do so without feeling like this..."
Luna was washed over with the same motherly love that made her heart break so much at having lost Trixie. At having hurt her while trapped as Nightmare Moon. Unwilling to just let Trixie stand there in obvious pain, Luna moved to touch her cheek and wipe away her tears when Trixie stopped her hand. Luna stopped at her daughter's touch, not wanting to force things, but also regretting that she had caused this wedge between them.
"Trixie..."
The Elf let go and turned her back to Luna, taking a moment to look down at her own hands before lowering them to her sides. This done, Trixie sighed and began to walk towards the back of the cavern.
"I may not want you to touch me, but..."
Luna began to follow Trixie for a step before realizing that Trixie wasn't leaving...she was heading to somewhere in particular within the darkness. She waited to see what Trixie was doing, curious what Trixie was going to finish saying.
She could barely see Trixie in the darkness, but she could just make out her kneeling down and picking something up. Luna squinted her eyes to make out what it was, only for her eyes to widen as Trixie drew nearer.
Trixie had a young infant in her arms, maybe a year old, wrapped in blue and purple blankets to stay warm. It was sleeping, and Luna felt herself nearly cry as she realized what Trixie had brought with her.
"His name is Illidan," Trixie explained as she held him in her arms, her face brighter than it had been since she came back to Equestria. She was happy holding her son in her arms, looking down at the face that had the same color hair as her, "Illidan Sunstrider."
Luna watched Trixie cradle Illidan for a moment before noticing that the infant was beginning to wake up. The baby yawned and began to wriggle in its blanket, slowly cracking its eyes open until it could look up and see its mother smiling down at it. The baby gave a small noise to show its joy, but it was not too noisy and contented itself with curling up against its mother's arms and chest.
Holding her son tight, Trixie gave a quiet laugh, "I am now Queen of the Blood Elves. I suppose I've finally surpassed you, Princess."
So, Trixie had...Luna felt a pained smile grow on her face. She had hoped that one day Trixie would marry the Elven Prince. He had stayed by her side and helped her so much that Luna had not thought any other could fulfill that role of lifetime companion as well as he could.
Trixie had a family now. And by the looks of it, they were happy...which hurt Luna's heart, as she realized that her daughter had grown up. She was off on her own now, with her own responsibilities, her own loved ones...having left behind all of them.
Perhaps it was for the best for Trixie, but it did not make it any easier for Luna, who suffered each day in having lost her.
Trixie brought her son up to her face so she could kiss him gently on the head, at which point she lowered him down and gave a sigh, "Illidan has a twin brother, Lavitz, and a little sister..." she had to take a breathe in and pause before she said, "Luna."
Luna...
That, even after all of what happened between them, that Trixie would name her daughter after her made Luna want to fall over. After everything, Trixie still loved her...
As if to cement the thought in Luna's mind, Trixie held out the bundle in her arms towards Luna. Luna nearly gasped at the silent offer, surprised that Trixie would trust her to even get near her child.
"Are you sure?" Luna asked, disbelieving Trixie's gesture.
Trixie once again averted her eyes as she held Illidan out for Luna to hold, "He is your grandchild. You deserve to hold him."
Luna slowly nodded and approached so she could pick him up. Trixie partly cringed as Luna's fur and skin brushed against hers, but she held still enough so as to not drop her son. The baby watched in confusion as he was passed to this other woman, who was for some reason covered in fur. Luna slowly pulled him in to a similar position Trixie had been holding him, and he appeared contented, not worried since Trixie had been the one to hand him over.
He brought an arm out to touch Luna's face, making her giggle as the infant's soft skin tried fumbling about with her fur. He had a head of hair just like Trixie's, but Luna felt that his facial features were more like his father.
"He'll look just like his father some day..." Luna smiled down to the baby in her arms in the same way she would to her own, a part of her mind imagining what all of Trixie's children would end up looking like, "But that hair is all yours."
Trixie moved to stand beside Luna, so she was in the infant's view, "This is your grandma, Illidan..."
The baby likely did not understand what Trixie meant, but it did like nestling into Luna's fur, and it felt at ease with her much like it did with its own mother. After a moment of Illidan burying himself in Luna's arms, another thought came to Trixie.
"I also have another daughter...well, for a given definition of daughter," she nervously explained, partly bashful that she hadn't mentioned her before.
Luna looked up to Trixie and smiled as she realized what that meant, "You took someone under your wing too, didn't you?"
Trixie nodded slowly, "An orphan who lost her family when she was young. She then lost the people who helped raise her, and lost her other surrogate parents...then she lost her uncle, as well as a friend," she gave a small sigh at the repeated tragedy she was mentioning, "She needed someone to keep her from falling into the darkness you and I both suffered from. She may not be the healthiest person mentally, but given the circumstances...I've kept her from going over the edge."
Luna used one arm to still hold the baby while using the other to reach out and touch Trixie, who this time did not avoid Luna. With a hand on Trixie's shoulder, Luna gave her a friendly smile, "Of course you could. I always knew you would make a great mother."
"I learned from you..." Trixie whispered, unable to say it any louder because of the pain the words held in them.
Feeling that it was a good time to do so, Luna handed her grandson back to Trixie and smiled at the two of them. He was very well mannered for his age, and Luna had the feeling that Trixie was a natural at this.
Now holding her son, Trixie looked down at him and smiled again, happy to have him in her arms and to see how happy he was as well. She began to talk with some warmth and humor in her voice, "I have a whole new family to myself. I have someone I consider a brother to me now, though he's probably as mentally wounded as my daughter. His mother tried killing him as an infant," she let out an amused breath, "Like I said, I've met quite a lot of people I think you could sympathize with..."
Luna nodded, happy that Trixie had managed to find others to empathize with and be with, even if they were similarly damaged people, "You sure know how to pick them..."
Starting with her husband. Luna remembered the man who had nearly died trying to save Trixie...who had shown her absolute devotion born of gratitude. She was almost happy for him that Trixie had let him into her heart, however that happened. She would make him a happy man...but as far as Luna remembered, Trixie had not been interested in that sort of thing. Was she as happy to have him as a husband as he was to have her as a wife?
"Is Kael a good husband?"
Trixie nodded as she continued to look down at the now sleepy and drifting off child in her arms, "No better one could exist for me. He makes me happy, he helps me when I'm hurt, and he always puts me before himself," she sighed again, her face showing a kind of contentment and joy Luna had long wished for her, "I'd feel bad if I didn't put him before myself as well. I love him so much..."
Luna moved her hand and arm from Trixie's shoulder to hovering around her back, inviting her to a hug.
"Trixie, come here."
It had been so long...Luna would never forgive herself if she wasted this opportunity. She didn't know if this was a dream or what this was, but Trixie was right here for her, and she never wanted to let her go.
Trixie hesitated, her remaining feelings of anger towards Luna rising and coming into conflict with how happy she was to be with her again, "I..."
In the end, Trixie let the woman she considered her mother embrace her and bring her into a tight embrace that accounted for the young child between them.
This would become one of the most noteworthy moments of Luna's life, holding her prodigal daughter in her arms for the first time in so many years.
Unfortunately, it would not last, as Trixie pulled away abruptly and shook her head, rendering Luna speechless and tearing her heart apart again.
"I have to go. I can't stay here forever."
Luna did not even try to hide the tears forming in her eyes. She had not thought that this would last forever, seeing Trixie, but the way Trixie said it made it feel like she was not coming back. That she was going to truly be gone this time.
"You...you're going to leave me again?"
"I..." Trixie, even as she began to move away from Luna, showed some of the same pain as Luna. She was forcing a wall between them even if she knew it would hurt her too, for she could not bear to feel the pain that already was there, "I am. I'm sorry, Mother, but being here brings back too much memories...too much of the feelings that..."
Trixie began to move towards the cave's exit before stopping and shaking her head, turning back to face Luna with eyes dripping with fresh tears.
"One day, I will come back to you though. I don't know when it will be, but sometime when I've finished healing from my pain...when I have lived my life to its fullest...I will return to you somehow..."
Turning her back on Luna for the last time, Trixie left the stricken Luna behind to weakly reach out and try to follow only to instead stumble.
"Goodbye, Mother. I...I'll always love you."
Luna collapsed to her knees, caught between wanting to chase after Trixie and force her to stay and also wanting to go and live the life she was choosing for herself.
In the end, she would lay curled in the cave crying to herself as she was left behind by the daughter she had once killed.
"Sleep Near...thank you. You did so much...I'm just sorry I cannot stay."
"Are you sure..."
"I have a new life...a new family...You all don't need me anymore. You have eachother."
"That's not true!"
"Sleep Near..."
"Big sister...please..."
"I promise, Sleep Near. I'll be back some day. Okay?"
"I love you, Trixie."
"Trixie..."
"Hela..."
"Hey you two...no crying, okay? I'll be back for you, for father, for our mother...I just need time."
"You two are so big now...please, look after her, okay? You two can be what I couldn't..."
"Goodbye, you two. I'll always love you."
"Mommy, why are you crying?"
Luna rolled over on her bed to see the last face she wanted to see right now. After returning late at night from the cave, Luna had not even thought to lock the door. Apparently her youngest daughter had heard her crying, and the young filly was trying to get into the bed to join her sobbing mother.
Also having heard Luna was Loki, who approached the bed and began to move the filly off the bed so he could get to Luna and help her, "Trixie, let your father handle this."
Luna moved a hand out to stop her husband, "No, Loki," she looked up at him and tried her best to hold back her crying just long enough to say, "Thank you, but I..."
This was about the older Trixie then...that was the only reason Loki could think that Luna could go off to that cavern and not return until far later. He had not wanted to disturb her before, but he would be a poor husband if he let her suffer now.
Still, she needed time with their daughter, so he would wait his turn.
"I understand."
Loki quietly left as Luna helped her daughter up onto the bed, the door of the room closing just as Luna pulled the young Trixie into a deep hug.
"Trixie?"
The filly was sad as she looked at her mother. She didn't understand what was causing her so much pain, but it was making her upset too, "Yes mommy?"
Luna shut her eyes to shield herself from the purple ones that threatened to remind her of those she had just seen hours before.
In her time alone, Luna had come to a conclusion. She wasn't sure...she wasn't even sure it was likely...but it was what she wanted to believe.
"You know how much I love you right?"
Trixie tilted her head and gave Luna a confused look, "I love you too mommy..." she began to pout, "Did I do something wrong?"
That...that was an interesting question. If things were as Luna thought, then perhaps the answer could be yes...but at the same time, Luna could never find it in her heart to say that to her daughter.
"I..."
Luna choked up as she tried to say it. She had been meaning to have this conversation for years, but now she felt she had to even if she wasn't ready for it.
"I've been hiding something from you your whole life, Trixie. You have an older sister..."
"I know Hela though," the filly responded in confusion.
Luna shook her head no, "No, older than Hela..."
Another sister? Trixie moved on the bed so she could get up. She wanted to meet this other sibling she didn't know about, "Where is she, mommy?"
"She..." Luna looked up at her daughter and gave a pained expression, "She left us. Forever. I thought I would never see her again..."
Luna's face began to slowly turn to a sad smile as she kept looking at the near exact replica of the Trixie she had found in Canterlot so many years ago. If what Trixie had said hours ago was true...that one day she would return...perhaps now Luna was looking at her.
Innocent...unburdened by a life of tragedy...this was how Luna had wished things could have been the first time, but now it seemed like her daughter had another chance to live her life with the family she had wanted so badly to be a part of.
"But, one day, I had another daughter..." Luna explained as Trixie settled back in to the bed, "She looked just like my oldest, she even would end up sounding just like her, and act just like her."
That perked the interest of the young Trixie, who was beginning to piece together the puzzle her mother had laid before her.
"I named her after the daughter I lost...Trixie."
Trixie's face went from confusion to sadness as she realized what Luna was saying. She curled up into Luna and wrapped her hooves around her to try and comfort her, "Mom..."
"Trixie...I love you so much. You left me for so long, but you came back to me," Luna sobbed as she pulled her daughter into her.
"Don't cry, mommy...I'm here. And I never want to leave you."
Even if she was being shown compassion, Luna did not want it. She did not feel like she deserved it, "Trixie, the reason I lost your sister was because I was a horrible mother...because I hurt her..."
"You're supposed to forgive the people you love, right?"
Luna stopped. Trixie's fall...her descent into madness...it all had stemmed from her being unable to let go of a grudge. Her unwillingness to let go, to forgive, and to forget.
"She wouldn't want you to be crying, right mom?"
Luna wiped her eyes and tried to smile down at her kind daughter. She was so pure...so kind...Luna almost wondered how someone with as many sins as herself could be so lucky.
"Trixie, no matter what, I hope you always know I love you. Nothing can or will ever change that."
Tired of the serious talk, the young filly closed their eyes and prepared to do what they had intended to do when they heard a noise outside.
"I'm sleepy..."
Luna kissed her daughter's forehead and smiled to her.
"Do you want me to look after your dreams?"
No response came. Trixie had fallen asleep swiftly, tired from a day of practicing magic and more recently calming her mother down.
Luna pulled the covers over her daughter and settled her into the bed, "Sleep well, Trixie."
"Luna..."
The Princess turned towards the door to see Loki standing halfway in it.
"She came back, Loki..." Luna looked back down to the filly in her arms, "Trixie visited today for just a few moments...She said one day she would somehow come back to us..." she nestled into her daughter's mane, making herself comfortable "That she would be with us forever..."
As he moved to join them on the bed Loki simply nodded, not sure if his wife was suffering from madness born of grief or was actually telling the truth. In either case, it would not change his next action.
Leaning in to kiss Luna on the cheek and to embrace both her and their daughter, Loki whispered to her, "Let's do things right this time then."
Trixie may have left them to go live another life...but at some point she would return in this form, it appeared. For a being who once controlled the power of the universe, such a thing was not too out of place.
They had all felt their fair share of pain, but they now had a chance to try things over.
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I'll admit, I still haven't gotten around to the other story, but it's on my list. I'll admit thought, this chapter was a bit painful to read. Good painful though. I do which Luna could have gotten the chance to show Trixie how her siblings have grown.
The old saying goes: "It's not the destination that matters but the journey."
Truer words can't be said here just showing how much has and will change. Those of us who have read both can attest to this saying. Despite now having concrete knowledge of the end we still read for the journey to get there as that is where everything truly starts.
Could Luna's theory here be true? We may never truly know save for the fact that both Hela and Sleep Near can't find either of their souls since they both only command the afterlife and not the land of the living.
Some might not consider it but this can be classified as a bittersweet reprisal for all of us.
Some pains can't be let go no matter how many years pass nor what you try and do to cover them up. I can understand fully why Trixie couldn't let herself come back, the fact she did and promised she would again in the future shows she has much more compassion for those that hurt her than I thought possible.
Lunas reaction at the both when she thought it was a faker and when Trixie showed herself was nice, hard to read but nice (not from problems in the writing, more personal issues with this kind of relationship issue)
Slowly getting up to date with the other story (using Wiki to try and cover plot points I don't get) but having a base understanding of where it will eventually lead makes me more interested to finish as quickly as possible
Well I'm crying
6961778 Hope you'll enjoy it when you get the chance
This was a peek into what will basically be the halfway point of the story. A taste of sorts.
Glad that it was painful, in a way...it was supposed to be, since it's kind of like ripping the bandaid off from how things ended and were healing. Luna will live happier now having had this meeting, but doing it really hurt her, since it brought back all the pain she felt before.
Trixie got to see Sleep Near and Hela: as the chapter implies, Sleep Near is the one who brought her back, but she chose to go leave again.
6961938 You have concrete knowledge of the middle, not end.
Setback will go through all the expansions of WoW if I can so help it, and the Trixie here is from the end of Burning Crusade, leaving Wrath of the Lich King, Cataclysm, Pandaria, Draenor, and Legion still. It's a peek ahead, sure, but it's not the end.
The way I try to set up these drabbles is that people can think and take what they want from them, whatever makes them happy. So perhaps Luna is right, perhaps she's trying to find answers where there are none. There's also a large amount of reasons perhaps why the elder Sleep Near and Hela from another timeline couldn't find Trixie, up to and including what you mentioned.
A bittersweet reprisal is a good way to describe it I think. A next step in the eventual recovery for them all.
6962099 Time can't heal all wounds, sadly. Trixie had learned to at least partially forgive Luna, but she still has scars too deep to just come back and have everything be fine. I'm glad that you're able to see that despite everything, she still has compassion for them...just not enough to put their emotional states over her own.
Sorry that you've had a similar experience, but at least you liked the reaction of Luna to situation.
Wiki is helpful. I have to confer with it myself from time to time
This chapter only gives a bit of a glimpse for the other story's future, in that Trixie is not done with her adventures and everything there when she visits Luna...she's become a Queen, but there is plenty of obstacles ahead of her if she wants to live comfortably. Hope you'll enjoy, and I look forward to your thoughts on it!
6962261 Mission accomplished?
I feel a disturbance in the force... As if millions of fans cried out in anguish ... And were suddenly silenced.
6963760 He was in the story a few chapters ago, at Carousal Boutique getting slippers. Because Peter Cushing (his actor) wore slippers while playing him
In the book "Tarkin", Tarkin also shows a bit of a fashionista flair to him...at least as much as a tight lipped, military man can. He designed the Imperial uniform, takes great efforts to make sure his own is perfectly fitted so that he can look proper next to Darth Vader (since Vader has his own custom uniform Tarkin doesn't want to be left looking bad) and once made his own vest.
6963810 You're saying that as if I'm not one of the biggest Star Wars fans on the site.
But I like the piece of trivia in this story.
So....is this canon to the other story?
6970634 Yes, up to a certain point: this isn't the end of that story, it's a midway point in Setback for Trixie while in the epilogue phase for this story. So it doesn't reveal all of canon, just pieces leading up to this midway point.
6970701 Roger that.
7008086
Well then....I'm weirded out.
7008288 Why?
7495896 Nahhh, nothing but Rainbows and sunshine ahead
I mean, what harm has that little thing ever caused?
Wait, Grand Moff Tarkin?
*le googles*
I don't see any other Tarkins, huh. His voice is angelic not gonna lie.
Now, on to the rest of the chapter.