Epilogue: We Remember...Everything
A/N: Special thanks to SadisticNerd, bonamb, kojivsleo, Amethyst Blade, InsanityStreak, Equinox-Moon, ErekLich, NightdancerMoonblossom, Thelykenking, The Batmane of equestria, Sidetrack, and Fear the Dark for your comments on the last "chapter" of the story. This is our finale, and while I have little things I may post for the story (deleted scenes, extended epilogues for characters, etc), this is the end of what one might consider "canon" so the speak. Everything else is of dubious official canon, though one of them will be the link between the story and "Equestria Was Merely a Setback".
Thank you to everyone who has helped me get this far and for all of your support across these thousands of words and comments. Very special thanks to Drgnwolf, who has been the driving force behind my ability to write this story many a time as well as my secretkeeper for the final twist this whole time. If not for you, I would not have reached this point I do not believe because of the literal thousands of comments we're shared back and forth talking about all sorts of things directly or tangentially related to the story which has kept my interest here and focused for it.
Credit to ponyphonic and Daniel Ingram for their influence on the characters singing who in turn influence the character who sings in this chapter. I purposefully went for heavy reference to their work after first crafting my own music because I realized given emotional states and the ones helping the in-story writer that it would very likely not be a terribly long nor wholly original work, since they would need help just to put the words down on paper. So credit to them for their brilliant music, and I hope you all do not mind what I put together from there on out.
Thank you all once again, and I hope you enjoy. Please, as always, leave your thoughts in the comments below, and I thank you for all of your help and support these past two years!
Sincerely,
Thunderscourge
“Trixie, I…I know it’s been awhile, but…”
The words were true. It had been some time since Luna had come to this place hidden away in the many courtyards of Canterlot Castle. Others were barred from visiting without her express permission, and the few who might wish to also knew better than to ask for it.
Luna had only been there a few times herself, and usually it was alone. However, standing beneath the pink petals held some gripping power over her voice, and despite having been there before Luna could not bring herself to speak even once before. Instead of words it was the tears of the sky that would always come forth.
This time though Luna remained stalwart and her voice was not stricken from her at the sight of the modest statue before her.
“It’s been years. I can’t believe how busy I am with your brother and sister, but…”
‘Trixie’ had been Hela’s first word when they first visited the hollow grave as a family years prior. The infants had not understood the site’s significance at the time, and neither Luna nor Loki had the heart to tell them.
“I hope you’ve been at ease here, and I hope having them visit will not disturb you. They know of you, and they love seeing all the things you left behind for them,” Luna paused only to snuff out a tear, though the action gave her mind enough time to diverge from its subject, “All of your memories and messages to them…you spent a lot of time preparing for this, didn’t you?”
Luna snorted angrily as she continued to talk to herself, knowing deep down that the statue of a Unicorn before her would not ever speak back to her, “Of course you did. You created a scenario you would come out on top in no matter what happened.”
There was a point in time where Trixie could have accomplished nearly anything she desired, but in the end she fell victim to her own power it appeared and fell into an abyss Luna herself once scratched at with her Nightmare powers that the Aether had thankfully stripped from her, only to then merge with her student. Just what kind of war was Trixie waging after that? Luna dreaded her own experience with such power, so imagining what it would do to a lesser being with less tolerance for it chilled her to the bone.
Luna hung her head rather than look at the stone eyes that had been blankly returning her gaze, “Though you didn’t seize your opportunities to do so. You could have killed us all before we even knew to oppose you, but you…you chose a different option. Was it mercy or insanity, a gift for us or your own curse?”
The one thing Luna was certain of was that her student had given up on life itself, and so it surprised her little that the way things ended was at the cost of Trixie’s own life.
To keep herself from growing too angry at her deceased child who had in her last acts both wounded and healed her, Luna forced herself to backtrack. She might have years of frustration and grief to let out, but she wasn’t going to let this devolve into simple chastisement if she could so help it.
“Speaking of insanity and curses, Hela’s…quiet, but she’s talking…whatever has changed in this world has helped her from being that wicked being we have both met. I think all of our decisions and actions have made sure of that.”
Hela had taken quite the liking to her father’s pranks, even if a disproportionate amount of them were focused on her twin. Luna had a harder time connecting to her than Loki if only because Hela preferred to be mute, and conversations would not naturally spring up between them. Luna was doing her best, however, to still show that while she did not know how to bond with her, she still loved her daughter, and she knew it was working…even if the bond was not as deep as the one Luna and Loki both shared with their youngest child, though perhaps with time Luna could find her own way to bond with the nearly-mute girl.
As far as muteness went, Hela’s brother was only talkative when compared to her. In fact, while he said more verbally, she said more in total with her actions given how shy he had become. Perhaps it was because he was the baby of the family, always hiding behind his mother, but Sleep Near was quite quiet. He had few friends outside of the family more so because of his own self-consciousness concerning his physical appearance than because anyone else minded, but of course some others gave him weird looks on rare occasions to confirm his self-effacing attitude.
“Sleep Near is much more normal, but sometimes ponies give him a second glance because of his four extra hooves. Even now there is some negativity, but he’s happy…”
The hold Trixie had on all other beings for those short minutes had a lasting effect on them from what Luna could observe, as while conflict was not eradicated, arguments and negative feelings were less common because everyone was acting less cruel and selfish in the long run. While Luna was unsure about the morality of forcefully changing others and their mentalities, it was not something she could undo and it was currently positive despite its implications.
All she cared about though was that Sleep Near was not actively being bullied for his deformity, which he would have been had things been how they were before. He could grow up happy and without scorn.
Luna found herself smiling as she thought of how Sleep Near and Hela each would go around and play like how she remembered herself doing with Celestia centuries ago. While Luna enjoyed seeing them do it, sometimes though she had to tend to other matters befitting of her rank and had to leave them in the care of certain trusted others. This list was a relatively small one, being comprised of Celestia, Thor, Frigga, Luna’s mother Faust, Odin (who had mellowed since his return), Fandral and Volstagg (only if another on the list was there to supervise their boisterous ways), Stark (only in the mid-day before he could physically consume his normal quantities of alcohol), Twilight, and of course their official caretaker, Scootaloo.
“Rainbow Dash’s adoptive child, Scootaloo, is looking after him. She is a good caretaker, and it’s nice to think that after everything we can be forgiven of so much. Her mother and Loki are a plague on Ponyville and Canterlot with their pranks, but that’s who Loki is,” Luna sighed as she thought about how Loki coped with his own feelings, upset partially that she had brought him pain that he now had to deal with, “He’s recovering from his own pain and loss too now that he has our family to help him.”
Thinking about Scootaloo’s time with her children made Luna smirk about something she had begun to notice. While looking after the two royal children, Scootaloo often was looking after her own sibling as well since their parents were busy with their work, “And I know romantic things make you uncomfortable, but I think Sleep Near also has a tiny crush on Scootaloo’s younger sister. She’s quite the brash and tough Pegasus, but then again I could be completely wrong. It will not be the first time…” Luna looked down at her fur that had once turned white, only to have returned to its normal blue upon Trixie’s death, “I just hope they manage to work out the issue of lifespans, as Thor had to with his own spouse.”
Life could be too short for some…and it saddened Luna that the only times Hela and Sleep Near could see their sister was when they were looking into fragments of the past. Sleep Near had not yet grown inquisitive about it, but the normally stoic Hela actually had spoken complete sentences to ask when Trixie would be coming back.
“Hela’s been…wondering about you. She and her poor brother don’t understand that you’re going to be gone for awhile. I wish I could explain it to them without hurting them.”
To keep herself from weeping Luna tried to focus on something less gloomy, though even in trying to do so Luna felt it hit her, “I hope you do not mind, but I gave her some of your old outfits. It hurts to see her running around so happily in them, but it was all I could do to soothe her worries about you.”
With that, Luna clenched her eyes in an attempt to fight the water they held, but the effort to keep them together drew her willpower from her knees, which folded under her as she lost focus on them. Luna knelt down in front of the memorial, and after a moment of fighting against it, she let her forehead brush up against it.
“I would give anything to have you back. I regret everything I have ever done. I would gladly be exiled to the moon a thousand years if only it meant I could see you again.”
She couldn’t hold it back anymore. Not only was the sky above them pouring water down to strike the ground, but Luna herself let out a torrent of tears to make up for years of withdrawn feelings.
After untold minutes crying right into the smooth stone used to construct the statue of Trixie as well as her epitaph, which read “Friend, Student, Daughter. May you find the peace you sought in life”.
When she calmed down, Luna let herself slide even further down. She had come to say something, as if to ask permission, but it clung in her chest. It felt wrong, but at the same time it was a sign of respect and love at the same time, so she needed to say it all.
“Trixie…Loki and I are considering having another child…I want to name it after you if we do. Loki is thinking we name it Fenrir if it’s a boy, but we’ll see about that.”
Luna looked up at her first daughter’s likeness once again and winced as she looked into its marble eyes.
“I…I know you can’t hear this, but I have to say it: I don’t want to replace you. I don’t want to forget. I just want to name my daughter after the bravest person I have ever known. After someone who took the weight of the world onto her own shoulders because her empathy and compassion had grown so deep.”
That was how Luna had to see things if she was to ever cope with her loss. That the death of one of her loved ones had a greater purpose to it, that the pain came from her greatness rather than the propensity for pettiness they all had at one time. Others may still whisper about the truth, but Luna had her own personal truth concerning the matter.
“Even if your name is fouled by more ignorant people, I can think of no better role model for her to look up to.”
If they had another daughter, Luna hoped more than anything else that it would grow to be half of the mare she had known Trixie to be. She would do anything she could for it just as she was trying her best with her two others, she would give it all the love and compassion that she had unsuccessfully shown to the first being she was willing to call one of her children. She would never spurn it for something petty or hurt it intentionally. Luna wanted to make up for her mistakes from here on out, and even with all the effort she poured into her twins she never felt as if it was enough.
“I love you, Trixie…I miss you…and I will always remember you. I failed in giving you what you needed from me, but every day I reflect on what I did that drove you down this path. I think about how my actions can influence those around me.”
“I’ll make sure no one else goes through the pain you felt ever again, just as you’ve done for so many others. You may not be pulling their strings, but everyone is…”
Things had changed for the better, as much as Luna hated to admit it. Trixie had left a greater impact on the world and the cosmos than Luna could ever hope to with how she cleansed the evilness found across the stars. Luna could not tell if it extended to realities beyond their own, but she was doubtful Trixie had succeeded that much as when Luna forced her way into Hel itself the world was still the dark realm she had come to know it as.
As much as Luna wished it would not be the case, she knew in her heart that Hel was where she should find Trixie’s soul because of her chosen actions and the lasting ramifications of what she did and what she did not do. Despite that, Luna still held that her daughter had not done what she did out of innate evil but rather out of misplaced good, for even in her madness Trixie undid her actions in a very deliberate manner as if she had planned specifically for that to happen.
“You died for our shared sins, and even though you could have saved yourself, you chose this. You chose the path where we would continue on without you, better but wounded. I noticed that you did not undo every ounce of sorrow…Blueblood remains dead, as well as your true mother…”
A glance to Luna’s right and the statue’s left led Luna to see a small plaque on the ground, placed in memory of the elder Lulamoon who had not been shown the same mercy as the others. Had Trixie been unable to forgive her? Had she been unable to restore her soul and revive it like she had Odin’s? Had she seen it as futile because of her mother’s propensity for illness, or her suicidal tendencies that would be brought to bear by Trixie’s own death?
Trixie’s flaw, her inability to let go of slights and grudges, was what helped lead her down her path and it helped explain why even after everything these two were not revived. The guard had not been revived either, though it was likely an oversight, or possibly a reflection on how he had been one of the ones who had joined in with the nobles that day only to be fought off by Scootaloo. Blueblood was gone though, which was fortunate for him as Luna might have been incensed to kill him herself should he still be there for being the final piece in Trixie’s meltdown.
Despite the deliberate nature behind who was and who was not brought to life after the conflict, Luna could not really blame Trixie for leaving her own mother erased from the world just as Odin had once been. Trixie’s first mother had been the one to put the cracks and deal the damage that Luna would years later open unknowingly, and so despite her noble sacrifice at the end of her life the elder Lulamoon was the instigator for it all. She held the same innate flaw as her daughter, for her inability to let her feelings go led her to mistreating Trixie.
“Whether you were unable or unwilling to restore her as you did Odin, I do not know, but I…I cannot judge your actions,” Luna let out a sobbing breath before she could speak again, her tone forced to be neutral as she tried to not just break down into incontrollable sobbing, “Even if that is what you wished, I cannot do so for myself. I acknowledge your wrongdoing, but reconciling that with the good you have brought to us all…”
Luna had tried, but there was no finding Trixie. She had tried everything she could at first to bring her back, but the mare’s soul was gone without a trace to be found. All Luna could find of Trixie was what she could find in herself, for Trixie had returned the energy once given to her as well as extra life energy to substitute for what Luna had sacrificed in the conflict. It wasn’t Trixie though. It wasn’t her daughter, her daughter who was not killed but rather lived her tragically short life to its completion.
“The older Sleep Near told me he couldn’t find you. That you exist neither in his world nor Hela’s…” Luna lost her composure as she leaned into the statue and wrapped her furred arms around it, “Even your friend didn’t return. I’d take him back in an instant if it only meant finding you. I wanted to hate him at first, but the more I thought about it, I’m glad he was there for you. I only hope that, wherever you are, he’s still there for you.”
Luna sniffed as another reason she came resurfaced in her mind. She had come with a gift of sorts for Trixie, though it was far from imperfect. She had meant to craft it perfectly and make it grand, but in the end despite the aid of two others she could not keep writing it and saying the words without breaking down and crying.
“Celestia and the Siren were kind enough to help me…help me write this for you. I know it is not perfect, but I…I can only write through with so much grief...”
Luna steeled herself for a moment before she took a deep breath and opened her lips to sing the hardest song of her life, if only to serve as a farewell lullaby.
You came such a long, long way
Further yet did I expect you would go
No longer can I see you grow
No longer can I see what you might do
Because of what I put you through
You will never know how proud I am of you
With despair, with pain, we each born
My failure to you is why I now mourn
So, my daughter, my student, please find the peace you sought
In your rest may you forgive the damage I have wrought
Trixie, our princess, goodnight daughter mine
And rest now in the sky’s embrace
Bear up my lullaby, tears of the earth
Through cloud, and through sky, and through space
Carry the peace and the coolness of night
And carry my sorrow in kind
Trixie, you were loved so much more than you knew
Forgive me for being so blind
Our castle is busier than ever, yet silent
For while our foals run and play
You are not here for them today
Sleep Near and Hela each love you
And know that Loki and I do too
Forgive me if in my pain I grew violent
Your pain was born of many a source
So in your memory I acted without remorse
The Nobles and Maidens have been judged rightly
Their greed and sins too great to forgive
Their nooses had been fastened tightly
For it is by their crimes that you do not live
I would spill each ounce of blood for all to see
Should it bring you back to me
Sleep now, Trixie, our beloved daughter
Your rest bought with many a tear
My own penance to be paid with water
For now, I pray my nightmares may never clear
May all your dreams be sweet tonight
Safe upon your bed of moonlight
And know not of sadness, pain, or care
And when I dream, I'll fly away and meet you there…
Finishing, Luna took a moment to herself to finish crying. She had broken down while singing with each verse, and while each word pained her she did it as a tribute to her lost daughter. She would find the time one day to fix it, but even after years the wounds were still fresh on her. One day she would be able to even think of Trixie without tears, but that day had yet to come. Then she would sing her something more worthy, and perhaps less impassioned with anger.
“I only wonder how things would be different if I had been better…If I had been more than selfish…would you have ended up like this? You chose your fate, you chose to burn the bridge between us to the ground, because you couldn’t forgive and forget. You were no more perfect than either I or Loki, yet I still have my own culpability in your fall, just as Celestia and my mother were a part of my own.”
Luna had Celestia and their mother, Loki had Thor and Odin, and Trixie had her mother, Luna, and Twilight…each of them had their own causes for their downfalls, but, unlike Luna and Loki, Trixie did not make it past her crucible. She chose to die, just as Loki chose to fall into an abyss rather than face his family again…though he found a new one waiting for him, while Trixie was gone forever.
“I love you, Trixie. You may have made yourself the perfect tool to harm me, but I still love you. A thousand times I will say this, and as many times I will mean it: I would do it all again if only I could change how it ended. Every mistake is a scar upon my body that will never leave.”
Luna wiped the tears from her face and rose to her feet. Once standing she looked into the statue’s eyes with the sorrow of a mourning mother who had outlived their child.
“It all went by too fast, Trixie, and I can’t change the past…” Luna brought a hand out to touch Trixie’s face, only to feel a pang in her heart as her hand touched the marble and she realized once more that it was not her beloved student and daughter, “Please, I know you could not before, but forgive me…”
“Mother?”
Luna turned around to see that across the former training field stood Loki and the twins, each of them in their Asgardian bodies because they had been in Asgard the past few days. Hela had been the one to speak, her young face concerned as she looked on at Luna by the statue. Sleep Near was busy looking up to the sky while Loki was focused on his wife, who he could tell had finally mustered the strength to do this.
“Is big sister Trixie crying?” Sleep Near questioned as he looked to the sky in wonder, his many arms crossed as he observed the rain. He heard it wasn’t supposed to be raining, so someone had to be making it rain.
Loki had the other two stay put as he strolled across the grass to Luna. When he reached her Luna received a comforting hand on her back, but he looked at Trixie’s statue rather than Luna, “I have words of my own to say.”
“Loki…”
Luna had noticed over the years that it was not only her that winced when someone brought up Trixie, when someone spoke of something even tangentially related to her such as bread. No, Loki had come to care about Trixie too, for she was their first daughter and even if he had taken time to do so he had opened his heart to her…just in time to have it crushed by her. Despite this he had to be Luna’s rock, the one who kept her steady and going as she felt her own pain and faced the turmoil of losing a loved one.
For that, Luna would forever be grateful. He had not left when things were rough, just as she once had been by his side when he was the one in pain.
Luna brought a hand to touch Loki’s, the feel of his chilled body bringing comfort to her, “Thank you for staying by my side. Thank you for everything. Without you, without them…I don’t think I could have…”
Loki shook his head to silence her. He did not need to hear her say what he already knew.
“You took me in when no other would. You helped me even after everything I had done to you. You are not some wicked being, Luna, no more than any of us,” he let his concern show on his face as he brought his hand to her drenched cheek, “You are not to blame for all of what happened. The fact that you care so greatly and feel remorse shows that you aren’t the monster you believe yourself to be.”
It took Luna no time at all to rush into his chest and bury herself there. Loki let her do this for a moment before gently guiding her face up so it was looking at his. This done, he brushed his hand across her cheek again and nodded over to where the two twins were standing silently. They only knew they were not supposed to enter this area, and with how the rule had been explained to them they each knew better than to dare question it or cross it.
“Go on. They need their mother,” Loki turned to the statue with a wistful expression, “I will join you all later.”
“I am sorry I dragged you into all of this…”
Loki raised a hand to silence her, not wanting to hear her apologize for something she need not apologize for, “I made my choice more than once. I chose you. I chose to protect her. I chose to have this family, for I no longer fit in my own.”
He clenched a fist while looking on at the statue, his own face beginning to betray his own feelings, “This is my failure as much as yours,” he lowered his gaze to the epitaph, unable to face Trixie’s eternal gaze with the weight he held in his chest, “If I had been less reserved…”
Would things be different if he had reached out to Trixie sooner? If he had gotten over his own feelings and accepted her sooner as Luna had done? Could he have given her the support she craved, or was he doomed to tread the steps of his father from the beginning? Loki wanted to say he could have saved her from herself, but he would never truly know.
Luna left him to mourn on his own as she joined Sleep Near and Hela. She cast an illusion on herself to hide her disheveled appearance from the two young children, not wanting to make them think something was wrong even if they might intuitively know it. Luna whispered to them that their father would need a minute, but that she would take them out to go play to celebrate their sister’s birthday. There was not actually a record saying when Trixie was born, but as it was the anniversary of Luna taking her as a student it was as close as they would ever get.
Hela playfully shoved her brother and ran past Luna down the corridor to snap Sleep Near out of his reverie looking up at the sky. The boy responded by shapeshifting into his equine form and chasing after her at high speed, each of them laughing as they disappeared down the hallway even as Hela’s pointed hat flew off her head and had to be caught by her hunter. Luna gave a small smile to them as they barreled away from her in their sibling farcical quarrel. The two were close, and Luna was happy with how well they were turning out to be. The cold and stoic Sleep Near from the future did not seem to be the same as this one, nor was the insane Hela anything like the playful trickster Luna was raising. While the basic traits remained the same, their upbringing and environment were causing them to be better than their counterparts.
With Luna and the others gone, Loki found himself looking at the statue as it sat beneath Trixie’s tree that protected three empty graves from the sky and world around them. Luna had made sure this was a sanctuary of sorts after the conflict, and Loki had to admit he found it relaxing. The rain was fading as Luna left and the sun was beginning to shine down on them and the forever-blossoming tree.
“The past will not change for us. We must look forward while being aware of what is behind us if we are to rectify our mistakes,” Loki sighed as his words mirrored what Luna had said previously.
He looked back up to see the statue’s face, “When Luna took you as a student I had joked about her signing adoption papers. I didn’t know I would be right…” he paused to sigh once again, for while he was normally a master at choosing his words he was having difficulty even speaking, “I didn’t want to be around you at first. I found you an intrusion on my otherwise simple relationship with Luna.”
Loki looked down to the plaque resting on the ground without a statue to go with it, the only grave to be like that specifically so there would not be two near identical statues side by side. Furthermore, it was for the one least deserving of a statue in the eyes of those making the decision, and so it received a plaque and little more.
“I was hesitant of having an heir that was like myself: damaged, adopted, foreign…I thought it would do me no good to invest in you like my parents had foolishly done with me.”
Loki looked back up to Trixie’s statue and shook his head at the sight of the since passed Unicorn. She was gone and nothing they could do would bring her back given her manner of passing. There was nothing to bring back, nothing to save.
“Now, you are gone, and I am a fool for having been so slow to reach out to you. By the time I could make myself do it, it was too late for you.”
Loki knelt down before Trixie’s representation and bowed his head. He had made a promise to her years before, one he had been unable to keep. One he would never be able to keep, though it did not stop him from wishing he could.
“If the time comes when we cross paths again, I will make good on my promise. I will set aside a day or a year if need be, but I will spend that time with you I said I would. Just you and I, no-one else.”
Words failed him once he reaffirmed his promise to her, for no matter how hollow it was he felt the need to do so. His words tripped up on Trixie, he turned to his left to where the second statue stood to her right. Taller than Trixie’s statue was the one of Kael’thas, who stood far taller than a Unicorn who was sitting down.
Like Trixie, he was dead and gone, but Loki did not harbor hatred for the man as he felt was his right to. He had betrayed them for the sake of his own people, sacrificing Asgard and Equestria for the lives of his own dying race. He had betrayed them for Trixie, who had been the one to bring him from the brink of insanity even if it was only to use him in the end.
A foreign prince forming a partnership with an Equestrian and forging a strong bond in the process? There were a great many parallels to draw between the deceased Elf and Loki, and so Loki had made sure the man received his own place of remembrance. Both he and Trixie were prosecuted for their crimes post-death, as they wished, so they were not public statues, but here there could be a memorial for the members of their family who died in an effort to change the way the world was.
Loki looked over Kael statue carefully as he remembered the man’s valor, valor that kept him on what he believed to be a righteous path all the way up to his death. He died assuring the safety of the others, and Loki would not be surprised if he had helped the passing Trixie in reviving the others. He was not the corpse-like man encountered in Hel, but a proud prince that had recovered his grace in a second chance at life.
If Trixie were to be removed from this plane of existence, Loki was happy such a soul was accompanying her so that she might never be lonely. She deserved that, just as the man deserved rest from his tragic life.
“I trusted you once to look after her. I now ask that you do so even in death,” Loki placed a hand on the Elf’s shoulder and gave him a look that was a mixture of pride and sorrow, “And know I would trust her with no other.”
This done, Loki turned to face Trixie’s statue and removed his hand from one statue so that he could touch this other with the same hand.
“Trixie…” he brushed his hand against what would be her cheek if it really were her, “You are just like Luna and I, far more than most children ought to resemble their progenitors. I would have been honored to be your father.”
He finished running his hand across her face before taking a step back away from her and looking at her solemnly. This all started because of him, this whole tale of all of their lives, and he knew it. Would she be dead now if not for him? Perhaps, for Thanos would have been a galactic threat, but so much had changed in so much time that he could not be certain. He had learned firsthand that one could control their own fate, for his children were not the ones he met beforehand, and he would do everything he could as a father to make sure they did not grow up to resemble those damaged souls…
“I would never have expected the path this world brought me on, but I do not regret it,” Loki paused as he thought about it all. No, he did not regret the journey itself, but he did have regrets about his failures in it, “I do regret my own part in the pain wrought to so many, however. This was not supposed to be how it all goes. The stories are all supposed to end with great triumph and cheer, not heartbreak and sorrow!”
By the time he finished Loki was nearly yelling, his own eyes threatening to release the wells of tears that had sprung up on him. He had long ago given up on the idea of ever having a happily ever after ending to his life, but even so he was pained by it all. Hurt by the what ifs, hurt by what he might or could have done, and hurt by every word he had said trying to distance himself from someone who had deserved his love as much as he had deserved Frigga’s or Odin’s.
“After all we’ve done…all we’ve been through and learned…I wish things could have ended differently, though such a wish is nothing more than a dream. Pain begets pain after all, and we are all damaged in our own way…”
Taking a step forward, Loki closed the gap between himself and the statue and embraced it tightly. The tears fell freely as he thought back to everything, of how this all began because of his own fall from grace and how it ended with Trixie’s. It ended the way it began, and he hated himself for not being able to prevent the tragedy that had befallen him on yet another member of his family.
As he stroked a hand across her fake mane, Loki whispered in the hopes that she somehow could hear him, “Do not worry. Your death left its intended scars in each of us, and this will not be a lesson forgotten. Our cycle of pain ends here…”
Loki brought his lips up to her forehead and gave her a gentle kiss in the same manner he might to Hela or Sleep Near before they went to bed, at which point he parted from Trixie and gave her one last look.
“We will remember everything…and, we will always love you just as much as we all love one another.”
He left the silent courtyard as light shone down on everything there, the rain long since gone and replaced with the warmth of the sun. As Loki left the statues behind to join the others he did not catch the sight of the last bit of rain drizzling down the cheek of Trixie’s statue.
Life would continue on, and while they were saddened by their loss they could live on knowing that things would forever be better from here on out. They were a family and they would be there for one another, forever determined to never allow another die of a broken heart as Trixie had.
Loki may have once been lonely as Luna had been, but together they were no longer entrapped by their sorrow. They could live on despite it, and while they would certainly still mourn their tragedies, they would live on, as they believed Trixie would want them to.
Hela and Sleep Near might play around like siblings, Loki and Luna might bicker about what name to give their coming child, but each would live on in peace. They had surpassed their pain and faced every tribulation thrown in their path, and at the end of the road they were left standing with the strength of one another.
The path of the pariah would end with each of them, and the path of love began.
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Beautiful, truly. This journey didn't take me where I thought it would when I started, but it has nonetheless made me a more complete person for having followed along the path.
Thank you.
Stop making me cry!
Very well written, and I bet I will cry more, won`t I?
Thanks for this wonderful ride of a story!
That was a good way to end on a high note!
That was really nice.
I can understand the hesitation for both Luna and Loki speaking to Trixies grave after what happened and think it translated very well.
Anything to do with Hela and Sleep Near with the non cannon chapters would be nice, I enjoy seeing things like that.
All up well finalised. I think it was well written.
Beautiful closure.
It's finally over.
A sad end, but well written.
Couldn't help listening to "Far From Home" by Five Finger Death Punch for this chapter, particularly Loki's part.
Felt appropriate.
Calm down Mola Rahm! You've torn enough hearts out already.
6253569 Thank you for your kind words. This journey didn’t take me where I thought it would when I started either, and I am glad you hold it in such esteem.
You’re welcome, and thank you for your support along the way.
6253570 Sorry for making you cry, but you’re not alone! It was seriously hard to write, and it took a lot of willpower to finish putting the words to paper so to speak.
As for crying more, I don’t plan anything really cry-worthy beyond this point. Now is the time for everything to get better and be happy. Our characters have finally succeeded at making their lives better and I’m not going to take that from them now that they have their bittersweet-happy ending.
You’re welcome though for the story. It was quite the journey, and I am glad to have had the ride with you and everyone else.
6253571 As high a note as souls like these can get! Such is the anti-hero life! I am glad you enjoyed it though, and perhaps the bonus material will make things even happier?
6257145 Perhaps they will, I'll give the story its star back for the bonus material!
6253642 Both Luna and Loki have their own issues concerning it all, but they had to confront them eventually…and now that they have confronted the past, it’s time for them to move on to their future.
Hela and Sleep Near will have their own bit, and I’ve even contemplated having it be a full spinoff. Only problem with that is that it’d lose the direct attachment to this story, as it’s extra effort for people to go to an entirely different story. Still unsure about how I want to handle it all, but I know at the very least the other bonus material things would go up right here.
Glad you enjoyed, and I hope you enjoy the extra pieces as I manage to get to them! Now that this story is done I am going to be shifting my attention mainly to its sequel “Equestria Was Merely a Setback”, but that’s not to say/mean that I won’t be updating here as well. Just priorities shifted!
6253786 You’re welcome for the shoutout, and thank you for the high praise. I did my best to create a story that I thought would be meaningful, even if only a few could truly enjoy it. Thank you again, and I hope you enjoy the bonus material I will be releasing.
6253873 Thank you. I’ve been looking for this for quite awhile…over a year in fact. Got the scraps and random extra bits still to complete like a DVD’s bonus features, but the story-story is done.
6253892 Yes, it is. Two year long journey now finished. Kind of weird being done!
6254952 A sad end, yes, but there is a silver lining behind it all: things will be better even if it comes at the cost of a couple characters. Glad you enjoyed it despite the emotion of it all.
Seeing as how I would listen to Five Finger Death Punch while writing this (thus the title of the story), getting vibes for their song makes a lot of sense! The two songs I listened to the most in that regard are "Remember Everything" and "Tragic Truth". I really did put a lot of thought into the songs related to the story, and thus the chapter titles resulting from them!
"Far From Home" is quite appropriate. The song for this chapter I listened to the most besides the title song was “Hymn for the Missing” by Red, which fits very well for Luna’s side of things.
6256763 Don't get the reference, but broken hearts should be able to mend now! Especially after the fluffy bonus material comes out. Great for heart aches I hear.
6257149 Glad to hear it
Now that the plot is over I am free to have fluffy goodness.
6257179 You sure are!
6257173 Ohh, I should have seen that connection! How slow am I?
Never heard that song before. I can see the inspiration from it though.
6257176 Indiana Jones: Temple of Doom
6267540 It's really a "you fill in the details" sort of thing, but teleportation and the elder Lulamoon will actually be a very important piece to the story in about ten chapters
6267249 Thanks.
6270813 Very, very close, but no cigar just yet
6277649 Precisely. A self-made martyr. She couldn't bear to live anymore, and so she went out on her own terms (albeit, terms driven by madness and depression).
We've been moving towards this point since I realized where I was going to take this story all the way back at Trixie's introduction. A final anti-hero/villain who mirrors the trials and tribulations of the main cast is a much better final threat to them than some plain evil threat. She spent the entire story being broken down to the point where she would end up here just like how Loki and Luna had been broken before her, only Trixie wasn't saved in the end because she specifically did not want to be. Same arc, different ending, though it was the one she wanted.
Equestria Was Merely a Setback is a sequel, and it is very correct that amnesia is the best thing to happen to her. She would be completely insane if she woke up with the same mind as before, though one should think: does she and Kael have amnesia because of chance, or is it on purpose? After all, while the canon is that Trixie and Kael die at the end of the story, erased from existence, an alternate universe has them continuing on as if they hadn't. What happened to make that change? All questions I hope people have in mind, at least readers of both stories.
Trixie has a second chance in an unfamiliar land, just as Loki had. She has a far better disposition than him though, so perhaps things will go better! And she has a companion who would die for her at this point as well, so perhaps she has a chance to make a better life for herself this time around.
6279797 She kept her skills albeit she forgot how to consciously use them. She almost definitely lost the Aether in the end as it would normally leave its dying host like you had said before. Now I see that the Trixie we see now is not a true Blood Elf but still an Equestrian at base.
Kael doesn't have his magical addiction because at the base level, he and Trixie are still connected albeit one way from Trixie to Kael it seems but so miniscule that neither of them can consciously notice it but big enough to maintain Kael passively. But even then, I'm having doubts on the latter part as it seems he doesn't really have his addiction anymore but that I can probably just attune to his actions and events here.
Deep down, they both still remember their platonic relationship. Right now, they're both... More can't be said, not yet at least.
Even so, know that we wait with bated breath.
6281187 You are quite correct in that Trixie has retained her skills but lost her access to them, as well as that the Aether is gone. It not only would likely leave her, it would also make little sense to include it in a Warcraft series since it would be so far removed with little plot relevance. She's still more powerful than she seems however, as the reason for her switching between forms through sneezing is twofold: One, it is a reference to Launch from Dragonball, and Two, its actually a surge of latent power that makes her shift forms. She and Kael don't know it, but the rapid health recovery and energy recovery they each have that is just like a player character is justified by their backgrounds rather than just taken as a given.
You are quite correct about Kael's mana addiction being staved off by his connection to Trixie, who in this story he was explicitly leeching off of, though in Setback it is an unconscious action that is now causing him to rapidly deplete in mana reserves as he is separated from Trixie. He has the addiction since he is actually a Blood Elf and Trixie has it too since she is physically one, but Trixie only experienced the benefits at the very beginning of the story when she was fully depleted of any energy from this story: she just came off a climactic battle and so she couldn't just shrug it off and not notice it like she is now.
Kael in WRE mainly was just Trixie's puppet (a sign to look back and notice that she was talking to herself all that time to highlight her growing insanity), so he was platonic the whole time since Trixie in WRE is asexual and is not actually interested in anything beyond a perfect, platonic relationship. But the only thing that carries over between her shapeshifting forms is her soul, not her natural biology, so when she is in her Elven body the chances she would have the very unlikely chance of once again being asexual are low...so normal Trixie has no interest, while in Setback she is growing fonder of her otherwise platonic companion because she has "normal" Elven biology. Kael on the other hand in his moments of actual presence in this story (and not just Trixie playing the part of him) was indeed platonic, but also extremely devoted to the person who ended up redeeming him and bringing him back for a second chance at life where he could make right the things he had done wrong. Now he is in his own world and is partnered with someone he was already intensely attached to, and he's not being forced to play the part of platonic best friend...though he is choosing to for now. The above is why in Setback they start off with two wholly different interest levels, as Trixie still desires the companionship while Kael already was devoted to her.
There is also the possible implication that Trixie was using Kael as the perfect "Prince Charming" here given how she acted him out, and that while she didn't want that kind of affection she wanted to at least have her own perfect partner. Given that she was increasingly insane as they spent more and more time together, it is wholly possible that she twisted Kael's own psyche to be exactly that, as while she stated that she was really just doing what he would, the statement was said by an insane person. Whether Kael's affection is natural or not could thus be up for debate, but all of that would require a dark reading of their otherwise complex but pure relationship here: an interpretation I don't support, but acknowledge and accept as valid. It won't have any baring here on out, but it is something I have considered given the intricacies of mind control and all the like.
I mean, I even contemplate the biology of shapeshifting
It's just what I do. 
6317392 Yes, yes I am
I'm a fan of a lot of bands, and all the chapter titles come from a bunch of different songs!
It's two in the morning here, and despite my mangling the tune of the song I read (as I sung it in my head) it was enough to make me cry. The ending chapter had me shed a single tear, but the epilogue was exactly what I needed to push me over the edge and cry out the pain. Rivulets of tears flowed down my cheeks and dripped off my chin to wet the sheets I pull around me in my suffering. Now if only this burning pain stopping up my throat would go away...
6352179 Mission success!
Thank you very much though. It was even harder writing it than reading it, especially since each step of the way I knew where we were heading. I'll actually admit to tearing up a bit. I'm glad though that I was able to elicit such a response out of people, and I'm grateful for those who powered through the heartbreak to finish the story.
I'm working on finishing the first of the bonus chapters soon. Hope you might enjoy it, since they will mainly be lighter fare!
When I found this story two days ago I thought it would be some displaced Loki story, I have never been so glad to be wrong.
This story broke every expectation I had about it and it easily takes its place in the list of the best stories I have read on this website. I thank you for writing this beautiful story. It made me cry in all of its low points and made me smile at all of the high points. Not many writers can accomplish what you have done and the sad ending topped it all off for me as it was the perfect way you could have ended it.
This is one of the few stories that when I finished it made me sit down and think about how I feel. I hope there is no direct sequel to Trixie, Luna and Loki's story as anything would diminish the feeling you put into what you wrote.
Again I thank you for giving birth to this wonderful piece of writing
6375694 I thank you for your praise. It means a great lot to me to hear that someone has experienced what I have hoped others would when they read it.
I am glad that you were able to take in both the sad and the happy, as some people ignore the latter because of the former. Life is both happiness and sadness, and I tried to convey that here though it worked for some and not others. I am also happy that you enjoyed the ending, as it was very difficult for me to actually write given how emotional it was.
There is a non-canon sequel and there will be some similarly non-canon extra pieces for this story, but while they are technically continuations they aren't necessary to read as I imagined this story as a standalone thing and it still is. The actual story is done though. I invite you to read my other stories and the continued bits of this one, but if you don't want to I totally understand since you might not want to spoil the way things ended, but they are there if you want them.
Thank you again
It's... certainly been a long journey, hasn't it? I can remember when I first turned my attention to this fic after reading Meet the Family, I think it was. It was such a simple story back then, I never expected for it to take the turns it did and despite it making me want to rip my heart out at times, I'm actually glad to have been a part of it for so long. It's not too often I come across a fic whose characters have my full attention and emotion, so you can put that on your list of success in life
You made me feel for every character, even if the one I felt strongest for was the one who went insane and tried to kill everything. I regret nothing and I never will!
I know you'd have preferred to have me comment on the previous chapters individually, but I thought I'd combine it all into one parting comment toward this story, seeing as how you love long comments so much (I'm starting to think you're overcompensating for something), I figured It'd be a nice little thing to send this story off. At least, the bits up until here. The extras don't count. Trixie's death was, well, rather heart-wrenching despite me knowing it was coming. What I didn't expect coming was the person responsible for the final blow or those last words and actions that quite possibly would've made me burst out crying like a little girl had I not been so tired and distracted, my emotions were inaccessible. Instead you left me feeling empty, you glorious bastard and I hope you're proud. Actually, I think you probably are if our past conversations are anything to go by. This epilogue was unnecessary only for the fact that I was perfectly fine feeling empty instead of the tears this brought. I'm just eternally grateful to my better half of my brain for reading this at night when no one else is awake. I'm not really a fan of showing my emotions when people are around, tears are pretty much number one on the list of things not to let other people see.
I kinda feel like I can walk away from this story learning quite a bit from these characters, which, again, is a rare thing in fics. They've been through hell and Hel, dealt with Hel and are raising Hel. That's a whole lot of Hel. Characters that aren't one dimensional and could perhaps make us take a look at our own behaviours? We all fuck up so I suppose this might make some of us a little bit more careful about what we say or do towards others because it can have powerful effects that we can't always see immediately. I know it's certainly had an affect on me, I mean, even though I may not have been able to empathize with Trixie fully, I could almost feel her pain almost as if she were a real person sitting beside me and I can't stand it when others feel like that. If I could, I'd drain them of their pain and dump it into myself, as damaging as that would be. At least I wouldn't be an all-powerful Unicorn who can doom the world, so I think I'd be fine with a buttload of emotional trauma.
And now, we interrupt this broadcast to bring you some breaking news!
I don't care what you say, Trixie is pony Jesus.
This is actually the part that made me lose it. The fact that they feel for their big sister without even knowing her apart from what she left behind for them is actually painful and I almost just stopped reading right there. I can't imagine how she felt, because she loved them and I know she'd have wanted to be there to guide them, growing up but not everyone gets a happy ending, even if they deserve one. I wonder how Sleep Near and Hela will react when they finally realize the truth that they're never going to see Big Sister Trixie, but I'd rather not dwell on that now as it is legitimately depressing. Even more so than all of this.
Fuckin' took you long enough, you pale bastard. Like I said, I felt for Trixie more than any other character in this story, so I've no reservations about throwing shit at the others who contributed, however slightly, to her pain. Luna included. Funny how someone usually has to die tragically before people realize their mistakes and actually try and put a stop to it, to do better. In this case, it took one lonely mare just trying to find acceptance to die a horrible death of being impaled through the heart by their own mother. Spoilering that, for the sake of those who haven't read it all, yet.
I was hoping to make this comment a little longer, just for the sake of it, but I feel as if I'd ruin it if I forcibly put things in here just to lengthen it. So! Two whole years well spent and I just wanted to apologize for slacking off on reading towards the final chapters, I regret that, but I resolve to do better.
Thank you for a wonderful story and oh!
Write more SoarinDash, you monster!
Wolfy out!
Holy shit... I knew you said she wasn't okay, but this is breathtaking. Not in a good or bad way, but somewhere in the middle. I didn't feel anything last chapter, but this had me weeping at how they were after the fact. This is a beautiful piece and I feel better for reading it. Time to go back to the lighthearted comedy of Equestria was Merely a Setback and I can maybe lessen these feels, not forget, because that would belittle the experience, but lessen.
Anyways, I like the character development in this, along with how Luna's children have changed from what we've seen. I will read the Gaiden eventually, but for now I'mma go do something...
7722352 Well thank you, and for what it's worth I'm sorry for your pain, it just is what it is...a story of anti-heroes and anti-villains kind of was bound to be heartbreaking in the end. Started with Loki turning on Thor and Luna turning on Celestia, and now we have Trixie pulling off a very similar stunt, only she didn't make it through it in the end unlike her predecessors (because, unlike the others, her own downfall was essentially suicide by cop rather than a normal grab for power).
But thank you again
The story has been a hell of a ride and this epilogue is a fitting end. The has been so much emotional depth throughout the story you can really feel for the characters here. Thank you very much for writing and sharing this great story.