Fluttershy is kind. Everypony knows that, and everypony loves her for it. But sometimes, being kind gets you into trouble. When Fluttershy hears a cry for help in the Everfree forest, she goes to help without thinking. She probably should have. After all, then she wouldn't have come face to face with a twelve foot tall monster with razor sharp teeth, and nothing resembling intelligence. But it does have something resembling hunger, and it looks like she's the only piece of meat around!
(A story about an original character that I made a while ago entering the friendship is magic world. The character was not for a specific fandom, just for a short story that I wrote. First fan fiction I've written i a long time, and I'd take any criticism. )
Chapters (6)
Trollhammaren - Finntroll
Hingen Dingen Durgen.
Russian trolls? I'm in :P
You had a bit of a problem with 'it's.' That's the contraction for 'it is' so you should have just used 'its.' Other than that, you had great descriptions of everything and it was quite the enjoyable read.
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Thank you, I'm glad you liked it! I knew there would be something wrong with my grammar, it's just been a while since I've written for fun. Plus I don't really have an editor.
2696339
That is certainly some relevant heavy metal! hehe.
I really enjoy Dmitri's character, and it's pleasant to see a well-mannered troll considering they're mostly in the generic evil category.
You did it again with the 'it's/its', silly :P
Let's see.... Insane Twilight + Fluttershy asleep + large Troll +panicking Angel + Everfree Forest + nighttime =
...
...
...
OH CELESTIA RUN DMITRI!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!!111111
2699345
I'm glad that you like Dmitri's character, I hope you like the way he goes. He's not evil, but he's still a troll....also, yeah, I sorta wrote the first two chapters before posting, and didn't think to go and correct it.
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What? Noooooooooo, I'd never do something so obviously cliched,....or maybe you hit the nail on the head.
Oh... Oh boy.... This won't end well....
I foresee a rise of the fabled FLUTTERRAGE!! taking over Ponyville.
...awkward...
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It's about to get worse, trust me.
2709957
Perhaps, but you'll have to wait for the next Chapter to find out! MWAHAHAHAHAHAHA!...ha.
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!!!!!
Then give me the next chapter. NOW
BTW, this is an evil laugh:
MUHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHAHA
2745550
Well, by my clock, it is now....now
Ah well. No Flutterrage.
Anyway, that was a good chapter.
Please, sir, can I have some more?
Poor Dmitiri. Too bad it's probably more than a simple protein thing or he could just down some peanut butter.
Well, you started off your story featuring my favorite pony, so that's already a kudo for you!
Just so you know, I came here from your Tumblr, and, yes, I'm a follower as well (just not using the same screen name on here as I am on tumblr).
So far, so good, but I need to remark about something else in your writing that I didn't notice in the first chapter. Toward the end of this one, you suddenly were no longer consistent with capitalizing the actual names of characters, like "spike" and "twilight". Now, of course, there's no grammar check or anything on here, and spell-checkers will still let those two words pass because there is such things as a "spike" and a time of day that just happens to be called "twilight", but, yeah, careful about that in the future.
Kinda unusual to be treated to a concerned and potentially friendly troll, though. Usually, as Lab said earlier, they're generally just lumped immediately into the "evil" category.
Well, this is another good chapter, but you still have some corrections that need addressing, like so:
That should be "dragon's" or "dragons'", depending on if you mean the fire from a dragon, or any dragons' fire.
You don't need a comma before a point of ellipses, and usually a point of ellipses is just three periods (...), not four without a space.
Capitalize proper nouns. That should be "Applejack", not "applejack".
Otherwise, still an excellent story! Hopefully Dmitri' can finally just set things right with the Mane Six!
... wait, did Dmitri' somehow get Fluttershy's ability to understand the animals now?
Suddenly, he'll probably regret his policy on not eating talking animals, though at least he saved my favorite pony!
But that's probably going to end up biting him on the plot in the future if this doesn't get resolved.
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Hey, we got close. That has to count for something, after all.
So, a castle for Dmitri', now? Why do I have a feeling anyone that's seen the first two episodes of My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic is going to be intimately familiar with this particular castle?
Wait a moment... first post?
Also, CMC, Y U NO GET CUTIE MARKS YET?
