Ever the Student
In Pursuit + Shining Interlude + Mi Amore + Tranquil Night + In the Light
~^~
Trains. They're a strange sort of thing, aren't they? They are strong enough to pull enormous loads across vast distances at great speed. They are large and powerful and majestic things.
But they're also sad things, in a way. For all their power, for all their speed, they can only go where the rails take them. Trains have no freedom. They're completely at the mercy of whoever decides where the tracks lead.
Would a train want to go anywhere else?
"You're quite pensive today, my faithful student," I hear the memory of my former mentor say.
"Trains always give me too much time to wonder," I reply to the mental phantom. "Motion sickness from reading is a cruel joke."
The view from my seat is growing whiter and whiter. Lush greenery is overtaken by snow-capped mountains and permafrost as the train lurches through a turn. Out of my window I see the end of the train moving ever farther from where we came. I feel a pang of yearning to be back under a warm sun, surrounded by life—with my friends.
"Ticket, please," I hear from somewhere far away. Without moving, I remove my ticket from my cloak and present it to the conductor. He offers a soft click and a polite "thank you." I nod and replace my item. I doubt I'm the only passenger, but I do have this car to myself. A happy accident. I could have arranged for private transportation, using either my new or old credentials. After being the focus of so much fuss, I wanted to do something as normally as possible.
I'm not in disguise, exactly. Just keeping a low profile. Thanks to the clever efforts of my favorite seamstress the most recognizable traits of my new station won't be visible without my consent. I don't know about or care much for fashion, but I do enjoy practical solutions to problems.
"Why I'll simply alter your usual winter jacket and attach a hood and long cloak, darling. Nothing could be more simple," she had said. She wasn't satisfied with a mere stitch job, of course. She wove a wonderfully subtle effect into my garment. I've never seen anything like it.
A new subject to study is a generous gift as well.
The sunset paints the endless white an exuberant blush of pink. A needle of guilt finds my stomach, forcing heat to my cheeks.
"I shouldn't have yelled like that," I confess to the window. "She was just over excited, like usual. I can't commission an enormous event and not expect her to shift into high gear."
That's how all of my friends are though. I ask for an inch and they give me a mile. Before I left, I was buried under a mountain of flight manuals, baked apple goods, warnings about dangerous fauna, and week's worth of triple-checked supply lists for the library. My friends did an amazing job sending me off.
The insecure part of me wonders if some of their effort wasn't for my new title instead of me. I shut down those thoughts as quickly as I can. Such musings are insulting on top of unfounded.
Moonrise. Once, it had been merely my losing track of time, likely with my nose buried in a book. Now it serves as a constant reminder of how much my life has changed. The first journey with my friends. When my faithful teacher wept tears of joy. Helping a new friend adjust to a different culture than the one she remembered. Someone finally recognizing one of my costumes.
By the light of the full moon I see the white yield to the evergreens and crystals of the inner empire. I should arrive at the station any minute. I stand and, seeing the car is empty, stretch each of my limbs for all they're worth. The cloak yields to my actions and loosens its grip, while my hood tightens in response. No errant breeze or passerby will be able to reveal my new plumage against my will.
As the train stops, I work my bags onto my back. Everything seems lighter these days. My imagination, maybe. I don't have the data to make a proper analysis anyway.
A few passengers exit the train as well. I guessed correctly, it seems. They probably stayed closer to the front, near the service cars. Most folks still imagine the empire as an icy waste, so there isn't a lot of traffic willing to come in at night or during the cooler seasons. There's a perpetual chill in the air, it's true, but the weather is as well regulated here as it is everywhere else.
The castle sits in the center of town, towering over everything but the mountains. Moonlight cascades happily across and down its surfaces onto the rest of the crystalline city. Inside the glistening monolith resides the Crystal Princess.
The question, then, is do I arrive by ground or by air?
~^~
The guards of the castle do not appreciate guests flying about unannounced after regular hours.
The guards of the castle do not hesitate to immediately ground suspicious cloaked individuals hovering about the prince and princess's personal quarters.
The guards of the castle do not care to whom you claim familiar relationship. They do not care who your personal mentor is, how many times you've saved the world, or what honored and revered dragons you personally hatched.
The accommodations in the holding cells aren't bad, everything considered. I expected a much dingier welcome. The bed is respectable, if ancient, which shouldn't come as a surprise since the Royal Canterlot Voice was likely still in vogue last time this place saw renovation. The facilities are clean, and the night watchman was kind enough to bring me a sandwich, which was, I assume, excellent for prison food.
I could have escaped anytime, of course, through any number of means. I don't think circumventing imprisonment would be setting a good example though. Power and status do not place one above the law.
It's hard to tell how long the sun has been up. My window doesn't offer much of a view. An indistinct voice trots down the stairwell into my cell. It grows louder and clearer, carrying with it the sound of two sets of steps. I believe it's one of the guards responsible for appointing me to this lovely room.
"Why wasn't I informed of this last night?" a familiar voice asks. This should go well.
"She did not put up serious resistance while being taken into custody. Though I fear she may be mad, Your Highness. She spoke of saving the world and breeding dragons."
"What a strange thing to say while under arrest," the familiar voice says. I stand and push back my hood in proper deference to His Highness, Prince BBBFF.
"Your Highness," I greet him as he enters my view in front of the cell. A bow for proper courtesy, of course. He rubs his eyes and squints at me. I give him the smile only a troublesome little sister can.
There were once bars in front of the cell, I realize, after emerging from my little-sister grin, but they are no more. Instead there is rubble, and off purple-tinged steel hangs from the wall behind my brother and the guard, placed with all the power and delicacy of a tornado.
I sometimes forget how my brother earned his position as Captain of the Royal Guard in Canterlot.
"Private." His voice is calm. "Why is my sister,"
The guards of the castle do show a modicum of concern when they realize they have—by mistake, I'm sure the reports will note—assaulted and imprisoned a member of the royal family.
"Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle,"
I don't know what they'll do about the "royal highness" part.
"standing before me in a holding cell?"
To his credit, the private, and I don't believe his rank was so low a moment ago, is holding together well.
"Sir, this is the trespasser we found outside your private quarters. We—I, did not take her claims of familiarity seriously." He looks at me and bows his head with more reverence than I care for. "Please accept my apologies on behalf of the apprehending squad. I take full responsibility for this grievous violation."
"I refuse," I start before Shining Armor can further lay into the guard, or the guard can offer more uncomfortable platitudes. "The error was mine." I lift his face to meet mine. "I should have known better than to fly around outside the castle, in disguise no less, without first announcing my arrival. You and your squad were merely performing your duty—very aggressively performing your duty—to your prince and princess. I'm grateful for my family to have such devoted protectors."
The boys are speechless. This is my chance.
"Now." I walk past them to collect my bags. "I believe the two of you have some paperwork to fill out concerning why a princess was in jail and how a cell door exploded into a wall. I am going to go check in with the receptionist, and then spend some time with Cadance. Bye!"
It would be completely false to say I was a troublemaker in my younger years. I did, with some frequency, experiment my way into trouble. On one occasion I even conjured trouble out of thin air. I assume the pained groan coming from the dungeon means Shining Armor realized I once again little-sister hoodwinked him into cleaning up one of my messes.
~^~
"When the messenger said I had a visitor, I wasn't expecting a princess," Cadance teases, rounding down the enormous crystal staircase leading to the entrance of the castle. Of her castle, if I'm being pedantic. I'm only jealous of the library. Truly.
"When did you get in?" she asks through a tight hug.
"Last night. I thought about surprising you and Shining, but an invitation for accommodations found me and I just couldn't refuse."
"I'm glad the Crystal ponies are so open and friendly. Will you be staying there for the rest of your visit?"
"There was a minor mishap this morning, as a matter of fact, so my continued stay at that location is, regrettably, impossible. No need to worry though. I bumped into my brother on my way here, and he's already diligently assisting in clearing up the incident."
Foalsitters are, in many ways, like older siblings. Sometimes they only need to hear the important parts.
"I'm sure we can find you a room in the castle," Cadance says. "Maybe I can read you a story before bed?"
"I read well enough on my own now, thank you very much," I reply proudly. "Though that does lead into why I'm here."
She raises an eyebrow. As we ascend the stairs toward her living quarters, I notice how much taller she is than me. This isn't new information, but I feel more context for it now. Princesses are big.
"I'd like to ask you some questions, princess to princess. They may be unpleasant to consider. I'll understand if you aren't willing to discuss what I have to say."
"I'm a big girl. I think I can handle an interview, even one pulled from your head, Little Sister," she replies.
The more things change, the more familiar they become. It's a worrisome idea I'll tuck away for later.
We wind through the cavern posing as Cadance's bedroom to a balcony. There's a breakfast table set for two waiting for us. Either my arrest interrupted her and my brother's morning routine, or the staff is incredibly quick. I hear commotion below us. Carts pulled down streets, merchants yelling out their wares to would-be consumers, and a hint of innocent laughter. I fear I'm about to put a big smudge on the whole scene by making their princess upset.
I sit in silence while Cadance goes about her breakfast. I came all this way to get answers, but now the questions feel too heavy. Maybe my imagination got away from me again and this whole train of thought is just silly and I should let it go and enjoy my time here with my brother and sister and when did I start breathing so fast?
Wouldn't it be nice if I could simply not want to learn something?
No, I don't think it would.
"Twilight, are you al—"
"Did we die, Cadance?" The words fall out of my mouth like so many crumbs, small and unseemly.
"I—I'm sorry, what?" she manages through a mouthful of muffin.
"We are all born as one sort of pony, and we stay that sort for as long as we live. Except we didn't. You were a pegasus. I was a unicorn. Now, we aren't. If species is a lifelong assignment," I continue, retreating into the familiar safety of hypotheses, "then it stands to reason our lives ended with our assignment."
"That makes a sort of bizarre sense, I suppose, but it's an awful thing to think, Twilight." Cadance shuffles around some food on her plates, grabbing and then discarding pieces of her meal without eating anything.
"My cutie mark is branded into the floor of my library. Do you know how hard it is to burn properly treated golden oak?"
"Very hard?" she guesses, having abandoned the pretense of mussing her food.
"Incredibly difficult. I wouldn't live there with a fire-breathing dragon who belches incendiary correspondence if a heavy mail day could make me homeless. The energy necessary to—"
"What else, Twilight?"
"My friends and I were in my library wearing the Elements of Harmony after I fixed a serious magical mishap. They activated, surrounded me in light, and then I vanished. As it happened, I felt a darkness come over me. There's a moment of sensory deprivation during regular teleportation, but nothing like what I felt then."
"Then there was the beautiful white light." Tears stream down Cadance's cheeks, her eyes focus out somewhere not here or now. "To pull you out of that emptiness."
"Celestia said it was time for my new life to begin. It sounds like an honest enough way to tell me a big change is happening, but she isn't always so straightforward. To her, 'make some friends' is substitute for 'an ancient menace is returning, and I'm leaving you to handle it.'"
"She wasn't wrong though." Cadance's eyes are dry and focused now.
"Is she ever?" I can only think of one relevant oversight.
"Maybe." Cadance takes a deep breath. "Maybe we did. When I came back from that place—and it was a real place, I'm certain—I felt different. The horn was new, of course, and I was stronger than ever. I guess that's the earth pony influence."
Earth pony influence. Should have thought of it sooner.
"But there was something more, I'm sure of it. Maybe that something was the feel of being reborn, or coming back from the, well, you know."
"At least I'm not crazy." It's some consolation knowing my experience isn't wholly unique.
"Or alone. The Royal Crazy House is big enough for both of us."
I wish she wouldn't lead my questions so well.
"Do you want to take a break, Cadance? I have one more question, and it might be difficult to consider.
"I told you, Twilight, I can handle one little interview. Besides," she says running a hoof across black lines beneath her eyes. "My makeup is already ruined."
No point in galloping around the barrel.
"Are we immortal?" No crumbs this time. I drop the whole muffin.
"Like Aunt Celestia and Auntie Luna," Cadance added, much less disturbed by this question than I expected. "I used to wonder the same thing, though I never worked up enough nerve to ask Celestia outright. I can't say how long you or I will live, Twilight, but I can tell you that I don't think it matters. The happiness of life comes from the choices we make, not how long we have to make them. I choose to live a life full of love. I will love as much as I can for however long I can. Whether that means decades or centuries doesn't matter. The questions you should ask, Little Sister, are 'what makes me happy?' and 'how can I bring happiness to others?'"
Being given such great and simple wisdom from my old foalsitter makes me feel small again. Through my teary eyes her mane looks like it's dancing in a wind I can't feel. Just for a moment though.
"That's beautiful, Cadance. I focused so much on the idea of outliving all of my friends, my family, of being alone. I... I—" I'm cut off by my own gasping sobs.
Fair is fair, I suppose.
"Shh, Twilight." Cadance wraps a wing around me in the way she knows so well. "It's alright."
I'm happy to sit like this for a while, all snuggled up close like once upon a time, before elements and chaos and marriage and empires. Once upon a more simple time. Not a better time. Only less complicated.
"Well this is a bittersweet visit," I say, finally pressing away from her embrace. "Who needs invasions or monsters to ruin a good day? We can do it ourselves just fine."
"It is a good day, isn't it? Why don't we get away from this stuffy, umm, completely open-air balcony for a while? We'll put those new wings to use."
"That sounds great." I tap my chest to make sure my identification badge is still attached. "Don't get too far ahead of me though. I'm not great with these yet."
Taking a few steps toward the edge of the balcony, Cadance unfurls her wings. "Shall we fly, Little Sister?"
"We shall." I take a running leap off the balcony, forcing down the once-reasonable fear of jumping off a high ledge.
"You little cheater," Cadance calls out as she jumps after me.
"I do have one more question, come to think of it," I yell over the rush of our descent. "Did Celestia sing for you, too?"
"She did what for you?"
~^~
A brilliant full moon crowned with hazy rainbow light greets me upon arriving in Canterlot. It's a wonderful centerpiece in a sky freckled with tiny stars. I soak in the moonlight view above. The moon lets so much beauty into the sky.
I wonder if Luna realizes this.
Deliberate, but nonthreatening, I walk through the winding roads and pathways leading to Canterlot's heart. There is absolutely no discernible pattern, rhyme, or reason to the overall layout. It's as though every planner and architect thought they would be the last to add to the city. It drives me crazy.
Maybe a thousand years is a long time to expect consistency.
There's more activity around the castle at this hour than I'm used to. Since the reestablishment of the old diarchy (or are we a tetrarchy now?), the castle has been open to visitors nearly around the clock—subject to royal discretion, of course. Several tour groups wander the castle interior. Maybe they think coming at night will add an element of mystery to their visit.
There's a waiting line leading to the throne room. I could probably excuse my way past, but I must be fair. I can't abuse my credentials. It's not as though the world is in danger right this second.
I hope.
"What are we waiting in line for?" I whisper to the former last pony in line from under the safety of my wonderful hood.
"To meet with Princess Luna." His offering does little to illuminate the need for a queue.
I choose not to press the issue further. A few more join in behind me as I wait in line. One well-dressed individual arrives and appears taken aback at having to wait with the rest of us. The guards managing the line make a silent but clear indication he'll receive no special privileges here.
The line moves well enough, and soon I enter the throne room proper. A few ponies linger at the periphery. Nobles, I assume, no doubt up to their usual scheming. I've been watching them grab at Celestia's ear for years, and now it seems they're setting sights on Luna as well. I doubt they're prepared for the millennium-old brand of politicking she might choose to lay upon them if they annoy her.
Thoughts of haughty high society members being knocked down to court entertainers fill my imagination. More than a few of them could use a lesson in humility.
Speaking of humility, I seem to be giggling alone in the center of the throne room. One should never follow a line while distracted.
"Manners are not to be forgotten in the light of the Night's informal court, my little pony. Remove th—your hood that I may look upon you."
I throw back my hood in my best imitation of my favorite drama queen. "Forgive me, O princess of the night, for letting escape my civility. Thoughts of juggling nobility held my attention elsewhere."
"Do you mean to juggle the nobles? What a merry sight it will be."
"Not until such a time as they displease Your Highness." I kneel for a proper display of respect.
"To what do we owe the pleasure of your most royal presence, Princess Twilight Sparkle?" Luna asks, returning my gesture.
"Most esteemed Princess Luna, guardian of the night and purveyor of the Moon above, I stand before you now to humbly request your aid in an endeavor." I enjoy the word games Luna and I play. Practice, she tells me, for the rigorous demands of proper diplomacy.
"I pray thee, tell what poor trial has earned your pitiless pursuit?"
"Research," I reply. "Into a personal matter," I add, noticing the spying eyes of the court attendees. For all my years in the castle I still don't understand the thrill some ponies take in idle gossip of royalty. "May we speak privately upon your resignation from selenous duties?"
"That we may, my friend. Shall we meet at our previous locale?"
"An excellent choice. I will await you there, Princess." I bow to Luna, wings outstretched flat and parallel to my back, as though gliding. Ancient pegasus formal posture, she had told me. More strenuous than the modern token of simply spreading one's wings wide, but it shows a deeper control of one's posture. Smiling, she returns the gesture, no doubt glad for a friend who appreciates her knowledge of now-archaic disciplines. Our playful formalities end, and I remove myself from the room in a flash of violet.
There is a place in the city for which I hold great affection—my home away from home. The landmarks below are of little navigational aid now, unfortunately, but I manage to find my way. Once, in this place, I had been ignorant of friendship. Annoyed, at times, by the distraction my peers presented. My halcyon days ended here, in a library atop an ivory tower, just next door to a large telescope. Enormous volumes of knowledge sit side by side in these towers—my towers. How could I not love it here?
"I've missed you," I whisper to the library doors. "I'm sorry I left without saying goodbye." I press the doors open with the greatest of care. It would hardly be fitting of the library's most devout occupant to break the rules and cause a ruckus, even at this hour. I inhale deeply. The scent of dust and paper fills my lungs and lightens my mood. "I hope some things never change," I tell my old home.
Luna found me here the night after my coronation. I was something of a wreck. Once, I eased her adjustment to an unfamiliar world. She seemed happy to return the favor.
A snort from behind a swath of books stacked in a corner near the window gives me a start. Investigating the area, I spy a young colt sleeping soundly, face firmly entrenched between what appear to be astronomy notes and the exposed pages of several books.
"I know the feeling," I giggle.
"I'll put them away, I promise," the young colt says, waking suddenly. "I remember where they all came from, I—" He gazes at me. "You're not the librarian."
"Not here, no."
"Whew. Sometimes she gets upset when I take down so many books. I always put them back, though. I tell her, 'Please don't worry. I'll take care of them.' She always tells me, 'The little miss said the same thing. If it wasn't for her dragon I would have been here all day and night cleaning up after her.' So I tell her, 'I don't know any dragons, but I promise I'll clean up.' And then she sighs and walks off saying something about needing to organize a shelf and that I should always be careful on the ladders." The colt rubs the lingering sleep from his eyes. "I'm sorry, miss. My name is Au—umm, Storm."
I give the colt a smile. "Is it really Au—umm Storm, or are you not certain?"
"Aurora Storm, miss, but just Storm, if you wouldn't mind."
I circle around to sit beside him. "My name is Twilight Sparkle. Pleased to meet you, Storm. Do you often spend nights in the library?"
"Sometimes, but not on purpose. I doze off watching the moonrise."
"I see you like the stars, too." I point at the stack of astronomy books surrounding us. "Have you been to the observatory in the far tower?"
"I do, and I have not. The curator tells me, 'Sorry sonny, no little ones allowed without an adult. Those are the rules.' I don't want to break any rules or cause trouble."
"Rules are usually in place for a reason. No matter how careful and cautious somepony promises to be, sometimes it's best to have a responsible grownup around. What about your parents? Won't they take you?"
"My mom and dad work at night, and telescopes aren't much good during the day," Storm informs me. "My dad is a city guard and my mom is a doctor. It's really neat most of the time. They volunteer at my school and go on field trips with my class. I'm very proud of them." If he beamed any harder, I'd have to look away. "I know I'm very lucky, even if I can't go to the observatory."
"Hmm." I feel a brilliant scheme forthcoming. "You know, I have a friend who knows quite a bit about the moon and the stars. She's an expert, and definitely old enough to escort a colt your age to the observatory. She's meeting me here soon, as a matter of fact. Speaking of which—" I encase the book fort, minus the few open volumes Storm was napping on, in a pink hue "—do you mind if I clean up?"
"Of course not. Thank you very much for the help. I'll get these ones," he says, noticing the set still in front of him. "I'll have to ask my parents if I can go with your friend." He loads books into his bag and sets off for an errant ladder. "But, if they say it's okay I'll happily go with her. I hope she's nice."
"She is. Most of the time." Books float to my vision and then away just as quickly. I spent enough time replacing these tomes without draconic aid to know their homes by heart, thank you very much. "I would be surprised if your parents disapproved of my friend's company."
"Am I interrupting, Twilight Sparkle?" A figure draped in inky dark enters through the library doors.
"Not at all. I was just helping my new friend clean up a bit." I point to Storm atop a ladder. "He had nearly every astronomy book off the shelves and built into a little cave. He's quite smitten with your sky."
"I must make certain to compliment his taste in celestial decor."
"I was hoping you might do a bit more than that, actually. It seems—"
"I'm all done, Miss Sparkle," Storm says, walking up behind me. He looks pleased with his handiwork. "I straightened up a few rows of books, too. I think that will make the librarian happy."
"Very kind of you. Storm, I'd like you to meet the friend I mentioned."
Storm turns to face his new acquaintance. He looks at her, puzzled. It takes him a moment to identify the presence before him. "Miss Lu—erm, Princess Ma'—uhh, I mean Miss Ma'am Lu—no that's not right. Princess Mom—"
"Stop," I instruct him. "Take a breath. In through the nose, out through the mouth. Nice and easy."
"Princess Luna, ma'am. My name is Aurora Storm." He bows, and glances back up toward me. "But just Storm, if you wouldn't mind."
"Gladly, little one, if you will return the favor and call me Luna. Twilight Sparkle has marked you as a friend. I believe we can belay some formality."
"I... I'll do my best. My mom always says, 'You have to show proper respect to other ponies.' It doesn't seem proper to address a princess without her title."
"Doesn't it, now," Luna muses. "No more than a moment ago I heard you address Her Royal Highness Princess Twilight Sparkle simply as 'Miss Sparkle.' Though if you insist you may address me as 'Miss Luna.'"
"But, Miss Sparkle isn't a princess. Princesses have horns and wings," Storm says, half to himself.
"Oh, I do have wings." I spread them out from under my cloak for his inspection. "They're new."
"You... you didn't introduce yourself as 'Princess Twilight Sparkle.'" Tears well in his eyes. "I went to the coronation and everything, I promise, but I was far in the back. I couldn't see very well, and it's dark in here. I'm sorry I didn't recognize you."
"Your mother would find no fault in your behavior, I'm sure," Luna interjects before his composure deteriorates further. "You have been perfectly polite. I'm certain Twilight wouldn't have addressed you as her 'new friend' otherwise."
"Like you said, I didn't introduce myself properly. That was my mistake. I'm still not used to the title. I'm sorry I caused you so much distress."
"It's alright," he says, embarrassed with all the royal attention. "Should I call you 'Princess' now, or is 'Miss' still okay?"
"'Miss' is perfectly okay," I assure him.
"Moving right along, Miss Sparkle informs me you take great joy from the night sky. Is this true?"
"I do, Miss Luna. Watching the moon rise and the stars begin to twinkle out of nowhere is like magic. The kind of magic you only feel at very special times, like Hearth's Warming Day, when you wake up and know that everything is just how it's supposed to be. I'm very lucky I get that feeling every night. Thank you."
"You—" Luna stops, her composure cracks and her cheeks are threatened by tears. "You are very welcome, my little pony."
"Which brings me back to what I was going to ask a moment ago. Would you be so kind as to escort our new friend to the observatory some evening? His parents work during the night, and he requires an adult present, per the rules, which he certainly does not want to break. I think he would benefit from astronomy lessons, and who better a teacher than the Princess of the Night herself?"
"It would be my deepest pleasure." Luna is still shaken by the young colt's words. "However, I daresay the public observatory is a bit small for my liking. If we are to commence lessons, I insist we do so in the castle. 'Tis unfitting of a Princess's student to use anything but the finest equipment."
"I... I," Storm stammers through his excitement. "I still have to ask my parents if it's okay. But I really, really don't think they'll mind."
"Naturally. We must show proper respect to your parents. Come to the castle tomorrow evening with your answer."
"Yes, Miss Luna."
"Very good. Now, isn't it about time you found your way home? Night work or no, I expect your parents set a bedtime."
"They know I fall asleep here a lot," he laughs. "My dad does worry if I wait too long to check in with him. He patrols near here—that's why the librarian lets me stay alone. I'll head home now. Thank you for helping me clean up, Miss Sparkle." He offers a polite bow. "I'll see you tomorrow night, Miss Luna," he calls back, running out the big library doors.
"How different things might have been had I known one like him before." She's dry-eyed now, thankfully. "I'm sorry. You wanted to discuss a private matter?"
"I do. I'd like to ask a few personal questions. They may be unpleasant. I understand if you're unwilling to dig up ancient history, which is where I intend to start."
"I don't shy away from my past. I'll answer as best I can."
"I'd like you to tell me what you know about Nightmare Moon, if you can. Who, or what, was she?"
Luna walks to where the moonlight pouring in from the windows touches the floor. She smiles up at the moon. Her eyes glisten in the pale light. As her mood fades, so too does the light.
"The folk tales are surprisingly accurate. I became bitter and angry at imagined offenses from my subjects. One night I refused to yield to the sun." Luna hangs her head low. "I wrapped myself in darkness, and Nightmare Moon was born."
"No outside influence or magical meddling? Nightmare Moon is—was—just you?"
"I'm ashamed to say so, yes. All the worst parts of myself, but myself all the same."
"I had thought she was something completely separate from you. She seemed to shatter, strange as it sounds, when my friends and I defeated her. All that was left was a tiny you."
"Darkness can be quite durable," she says. "And I am glad to be rid of it." A smile graces her face, colored by the warming moonlight.
"As for my diminished size and appearance, think back to Nightmare Night when I assumed the form of Nightmare Moon."
"You used an illusion to disguise yourself and scare everypony." In hindsight, I feel guilty for suggesting it. My gamble paid off, but it couldn't have been easy for Luna to be her again.
"That would likely be correct for anypony else, but I used no illusions that night. My body is easily changed. I may alter my appearance at will, as I did during Nightmare Night, or I may be forced to change under dire circumstances, as I was after your victory over Nightmare Moon.
"That is a very unique skill, Luna." Not as unique as I would like.
"I am a mare of many talents."
My hypothesis was wrong. I had hoped the Nightmare was some sort of parasitic creature and we had seen the last of it. No need to worry about Celestia deciding eternal day is a good idea. No worry about Cadance trying to force every living creature to love her. No concern for me doing, well, whatever evil crosses my mind. I can do oh so many things—
Stop it.
"Do you think the same thing could happen to the rest of us? To Celestia, Cadance, or me? I've caused a lot of trouble misusing simple magic while stressed out. I'd hate to think of what could happen if I really went off the deep end."
"Nopony is immune from making poor choices, no matter how wise, loving, or intelligent they may be," Luna says.
"Nopony is perfect, I suppose." I should have those words on the top of every checklist. Maybe the bottom, too. "Not even Princess Celestia noticed a problem with Cadance's behavior before her wedding."
"I heard as much after the fact, yes."
These transitions are too convenient.
"What were you doing during the attack on Canterlot? With everything going on I think you would have tried to help."
"My social graces are still a bit outdated, unfortunately. A grand wedding would have been a fine chance to embarrass myself, or, worse yet, cause a panic. I declined my invitation on the pretense of seeing to official Court business. In truth, I spent that day as I do most—sequestered away in my room. Rest assured, I would have come to everypony's aid at the first sign of trouble. Combat, so far as I can tell, has not changed much."
The thought of Celestia and Luna fighting in concert sends a chill down my wings and into the very tips of my feathers. I didn't know those sensations could go there.
"That all seems perfectly reasonable." I was expecting a more convoluted answer. "Even so, I would have thought you'd at least make a brief appearance at your niece's wedding ceremony."
"She is not my niece." I stare at her, taken aback at such casual dismissal of familial ties. Luna's eyes widen as the severity of her outburst sinks in. "Those words do not convey my feelings properly. I meant no disrespect to Cadance."
"Do tell." I hope I don't sound as cold as I think I do.
"I..." Luna begins, and ends. She attempts to form more words but they fall silent before escaping. She sighs deeply, then draws in a long breath.
"For a very, very long time, Celestia was the only family I had," she says, slow and deliberate. "I returned from my banishment and found that my family had grown for the first time. I was unsure how to react to this change, to this 'niece' my sister adopted."
"And before long she was going to be married, complicating things even further," I add.
"So I stayed distant. I focused on my duties and spent as little time interacting with the young princess and her lover—"
Eww.
"—as I could. Looking back, I regret my behavior, but I fear I've missed the chance to become properly acquainted."
I take a seat on the moonlit floor close to Luna. "Did you know she was an orphan?"
"I had no idea..." Tears water Luna's eyes. Establishing proper context is important though, no matter how painful.
"Found in the woods all alone as a little filly. Raised by an entire village, but without a family to call her own—until the day Celestia gave her one."
"And I balked her attempts to—"
"She calls you 'Auntie Luna.'" I put a hoof to her shoulder. "Whatever chances you think you missed are in the past. She loves you. All you have to do is reach out to her."
She pulls me into a tight embrace. I'm entangled by inky blue hoof and leg and wing. "I will reach posthaste, Twilight Sparkle. Thank you."
"Maybe say hello to my brother, too," I squeeze out between gasps of breath. "I'm sure he'd like to get to know you as well."
I thud loudly as she drops me, surely disturbing the ghosts of librarians past. "Her consort is your sibling."
"Please don't say 'consort,'" I plead, looking up from the flat of my back.
"That means you are my niece-in-law. You, too, are my family now. Huzzah!"
That's a thirty-three-point-three percent increase in her known relations tonight.
"Ahem." Luna sets me right ways up. "Forgive my exuberance."
"A battering from Your Royal Highness is an honor."
"Do you have any more questions tonight, Princess?"
"The use for knowledge such as yours is endless." I let slip an unsightly yawn. "My stamina, however, is not."
"Then I shall take my leave. There is a slumbering mare that requires my attention. Fare thee well, Twilight Sparkle."
"Goodnight, Luna."
She stops on her way out the door. "Thank you, my friend." With a mighty heave of wing she's gone.
I'm alone again in my library. Now, unlike once upon a time not too long ago, I have many wonderful reasons to leave. At the moment however, there's a comfortable corner I haven't slept in for a long time demanding my attention.
~^~
The sun is a gentle alarm. Soft warmth slowly works across the sky, through a window, and down to a dreaming cheek, brushing away the cool of sleep and beckoning toward a new day.
I wake to the warmth of the sun coming from above and beside me.
"Good morning, Twilight," the sun greets me.
"Good morning, Princess." I stretch the stiffness from my many limbs. My form isn't flattering, but feels amazing. "How did you know I was here?"
"I've found you here too many times to count, my faithful student." Celestia laughs. "I should stop calling you that. You are so much more than simply my student now."
"What I am grows from what I was. I think—I hope—I can be many things at once."
"Wise words, Princess Twilight." All these years and her slightest approval still sets me aflutter. It's not the beginning and the end of me, as it once was, but I will always treasure making my mentor proud. Being addressed as "princess," by her most of all, will take considerable time to warm up to.
"I was hoping we could talk for a while, if you have the time."
"It has been a while since we've spent a quiet morning together. Is teatime in the castle gardens acceptable?"
"Always, Princess."
"Very well." A small grin touches her cheeks. "Race you to the gardens—" She's gone in a golden flash before I comprehend her last words. I've never refused a challenge from the Princess. This might be the first time I'll be in competition with her though.
The city bustles with morning enthusiasm as I step out onto its nonsensically planned streets. The castle once more waits for me in the center of the city, the gold and white architecture bathing in sunlight.
Running won't do the trick. I'm not confident enough in my flying to rush through the city. I do have one other option.
Scattered clouds and pegasi dot my view of the sky above. My eyes close, and I muster my will. When I open them again, I'm staring down at the city. From this height even the castle looks small. For the moment it takes gravity to catch up with me, I'm weightless. My instinct screams as I let myself fall headlong toward the ground. The terror and the thrill blend into an amazing adrenaline cocktail, and my heart has never worked so wonderfully hard.
I think I understand Rainbow Dash better now.
My wings spread out to alter my trajectory toward the castle gardens. I push against my downward force as best I can, but the ground still rushes at me. I'm not slowing down quickly enough. Something's wrong. What is it what is it what am I forgetting—
I hurl my legs toward the ground and fan them out, increase my air resistance. This should be right. I beat my wings hard again, slowing my descent to a controllable speed. With continued effort I land, safe and inelegant, near Princess Celestia, apparent master of rapid travel.
"That was quite the landing," she says.
"If I hit any harder, it would have been a crash rather than a landing."
I slip out of my cloak, fold it neatly, and place it beside the table Celestia set up for us. My place is across from her, marked by a clean white cup trimmed in gold. Its twin rests empty in front of her. Once I've settled in my place, Celestia lifts the teapot with her golden aura and fills our cups.
Tea swirls before us, wisps of scented steam rising from the dark liquid. We raise our cups to our lips, stopping to savor the bitter and sweet heat present before us. Thoughtful and grateful, we drink.
Taking tea with Celestia is a right thing. Not just now. Every time. The talking, the pouring, the smelling, the enjoying. It all feels as though we're walking lockstep with something greater than just us. The tea tastes like eternity and I know we're doing just what we're supposed to.
"I've been doing some research." I hate to break the peace and quiet.
"I'm glad to see that some things never change."
"You've seen a lot of change, haven't you? Nothing stays quite the same in anypony's life, and your life has been very long."
"I feel a very difficult question coming soon, my faithful student." She takes a long drink.
I once asked Celestia what made colts and fillies different. She, in her immense wisdom, instructed my curious young self to ask my parents. They, having once been a colt and a filly, would certainly be able to perform a comprehensive analysis and provide an answer. My parents were less than forthcoming with usable information. Cadance and Shining Armor only blushed and wandered apart awkwardly when I enlisted their aid in pursuit of data.
"Not this time, Princess," I assure her. "I started my journey, which is to say my research project, because I was anxious. Maybe even scared. I've had big responsibilities most of my life; being your student is no small task, you know. But this—" I fluff my wings and tap my horn "—is different. The entire world looks up to the Equestrian Princesses."
Deep breaths, I remind myself. I wonder how Celestia always keeps her composure? Years of practice, maybe.
"My question for you, Princess, is what advice would you give me to take forward?"
"A wise mare informed me this morning that the future finds its roots in the past. Before we discuss what is to come, tell me about your journey so far."
I stand and stretch the landing pains from my legs.
"My first stop was the Crystal Empire to speak with Cadance. Her experience is a close parallel to my own, so I thought she would be the best subject to start with. Our interview had mixed results, but I did learn something important."
Celestia raises a brow behind her cup. I pace around behind my seat, allowing time for my thoughts to coalesce into something meaningful.
"Sometimes the answer I want isn't the one I need. An obvious question, even if it seems important, isn't necessarily the right one to ask in a sensitive situation."
I expect some prompt to continue, but none comes.
"My next destination was here, to speak with you and Princess Luna. I arrived late in the evening, so I spoke with Luna first. Our time together was unexpectedly productive."
Celestia stacks the used tea set neatly to the side.
"I helped Luna realize it's never too late to reach out to her family, or to make a new friend. She taught me that I have to be mindful of my fears and anxieties in order to keep them from overwhelming me. I alone am responsible for my decisions, good or bad, big or small."
"Those are excellent lessons, given and learned. Are you ready to hear my advice to you, Princess Twilight Sparkle?"
I nod and inhale deeply.
"The most valuable advice I can pass to you is very simple, my faithful student," she says, growing a wonderful smile. "Keep up the good work."
My breath comes out in a soft laugh. "And from my teacher I learned that I should have more faith in myself." Our conversation from the library rushes back into my mind. "I wouldn't be where I am today if I wasn't doing something right."
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A solid peace of writing. You should submit this to some relevant groups and get some more exposure.
4827102
I never considered looking at the various groups. I'll see what I can do on that front.
To the search bar! Or whatever it is!
Huzzah! The groups have been added! Self promotion feels weird.
Wonderful writing! I greatly enjoyed reading this
A magnificent piece of writing. I love how in character you've kept Twilight, I can so see her doing this.
4828330
Thank you very much.
4829624
I always worry about keeping my characterization up to snuff. I'm glad to see my Twilight is sufficiently believable.
More accurately, I want everyone to be sufficiently believable.
This was a wonderful piece of writing. Can't say much more than that.
4837396
If you guys keep saying such nice things I'm going to get a swollen head. Thank you.
This might very well be the best story about Twilight's response to suddenly becoming a princess I've read. I love your introspective Twilight but it's your character interactions that make this so amazing, especially how Twilight changes how she acts based on who she's speaking with. Thank you for this amazing story.
Wonderfully constructed. A beautifully touching ending.
5559170
Thank you. I particularly appreciate the praise for the construction. I did a lot of back and forth in the early stages trying to transition from place to place. Fun fact: the entire Shining Armor chapter was just me goofing around trying to figure out how to get Twilight to the Crystal Empire in a non-"hey I took a train now here I am" way. Then I kinda liked it, and here we are.
4943707
Incredibly late to the mark, but thank you, too. "Twilight Copes with Ascension" is a pretty common theme, so I'm glad I could make it high on someone's list with my take on it, especially so long after the event itself.
I dig it. A bit of humor, a bit of thought, a bit of pathos... nice work.
This was fantastic.
7140593
Thank you. You should see the version without all the mistakes that's been lurking in my Cloud for ages.
7515375 Yeah I'm pretty okay I guess. You should see the edited version I keep meaning to post. Better grammar and a much less cliched ending. I tried writing down the Shining Armor violence at the behest of my EqD prereader guy, but my instincts as a big brother keep making me put it back in as-is.
Very well done. :D
Except this bit. :V
A wonderful meditation on the four princesses. (Heh. I can't help but imagine a sequel where Twilight plays with Flurty Heart and still manages to eke some wisdom out of the experience.) Thank you for this. I just wish I'd read it earlier.
7969850
1. Flirty Heart confirmed for best nickname and future headcanon.
2. Thanks for the sequel bait idea!
3. I'm glad you enjoyed my ancient piece of work.
This was awesome. I love seeing Twilight ponder her new alicorn-hood and royal title. Well written and well paced.
You can has review!
Just wanted to say "Thank you!" for the story!
One of absolutely best Twilight characterizations I read here.
Thank you!
Many authors like to know why a downvote occurred. If this includes yourself, here it is:
This otherwise good work was spoiled for me by this passage. I am a stickler on my stance on sexual morality, including waiting until marriage.
11700409
Totally fine. You do you, boo.
But, for posterity, we must note that "lover" doesn't necessarily mean sexual partner, though I recognize that it's the common use. At least in the US. If we may:
Curiously, Oxford omits the non-sexual meaning, but several others do include it. C'est la vie.
Now. All that said. Cady wouldn't be properly embodying all the classic Greek types of love if she wasn't catching that D; after a lengthy courting period, of course, because she's still a lady, by golly. A more gentle reading could see both Luna and Twilight as being presumptuous; Luna about the depth of Cadance and Shining Armor's intimacy, and Twilight about the accuracy of Luna's information regarding the time and ponies she just admitted to intentionally avoiding.
Either way. A lady neither kisses and tells, nor kisses and denies, and I, as a gentleman, will do no different.
Thanks for stopping by ;)