• Published 19th Aug 2013
  • 8,837 Views, 148 Comments

A Breakfast of Time Loops - Obselescence



Princess Celestia, in her infinite wisdom, comes to the conclusion that she doesn't have nearly enough time to do everything on her busy schedule. Not a problem for her, though. The solution to having no time is obvious: just make some more.

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Chapter Four: Ourobor-O's

Princess Luna had had enough. She had tried to be reasonable. She had tried to be understanding. She had tried everything short of the five-hundred pound vat of green slime. She hadn’t yet figured out how to get a vat that large into her sister’s chambers, but in every other respect, nopony could say she hadn’t tried.

The time for trying was over. It was time now to end this.

Determined, she marched through the corridors of Canterlot Castle, glaring icily at each and every Celestia as she passed them by. A few brave Celestias simply tried to ignore her, but the rest knew enough to get out of her way. An entire crowd of them dispersed as she stomped through the Dining Hall, sweeping up a couple servants—those few who had not been put on paid leave—in their panicked stampede.

The Future Celestias were not the object of her anger, though. At best they were distractions. Errand-ponies who merely happened to resemble her true target, who was even now lying soundly asleep in her tall tower. It would not save her, though. If before the excuse of exhaustion had been enough for Celestia to avert her wrath, then no longer.

Not even the thousand steps of the staircase to her sister’s chambers could stop her for long. Doggedly, she climbed, taking only a short break every hundred steps to catch her breath. She could feel the tension thickening in the air, the sense that each and every step brought her that much closer toward finishing this foolish time travel business. Ironic, in a way. The entire affair had started with the long and arduous climb to her sister’s chambers.

And soon enough things would end with it too.

Eventually she found herself standing before Celestia’s bedroom door. She took a deep breath, steadied herself, then shouted at the top of her lungs, “Sister, I demand to speak with you this very instant! Open your door now that I may do so!

From under the doorframe, a flash of white light. Luna’s eyes narrowed.

“Luna!” said Celestia, yawning as she opened up the door. “What a... surprise.” She blinked slowly, her tired eyes bleary and bloodshot. “I’m sorry, but can’t this wait? I just got back from Ponyville and I'm thoroughly exhausted. I need at least a little beauty sleep now so I can look rested for the—”

“No, Sister, this cannot wait,” said Luna firmly. “I have waited for quite long enough, and I shall wait no longer. You have earned a piece of my mind and I fully intend to deliver it unto you without further delay.”

Celestia frowned. “Well, okay then. Let’s hear what you have to say, Luna.” She added something under her breath, so lightly that Luna could hardly hear it. It sounded very much, though, like, “Again.”

Luna took a deep breath, trying her very hardest not to scream. “It is exactly this that is my problem, Sister,” she said, as calmly as she could. “You have so often dismissed my objections, time and time again, without giving them even the slightest consideration. Can you not see I persist only because I am so concerned for your safety? Have you truly grown so blind?”

“My safety?” Celestia laughed, but it sounded strained. Forced. “Luna, I’ve already explained this to you. There’s no other way I can address all the concerns that get sent to me without a little cheating. It’s for my—our subjects. Nothing more.”

“Only a little? I do not think so. Our subjects have done well enough without your ‘cheating’ for centuries. I can assure you now, it is not worth working yourself to death, simply to satisfy their every last demand.”

“It’s hardly that bad, Luna.”

It was Luna’s turn to laugh now. “There are more of you in this castle than there are servants. A Celestia now haunts every city and town in Equestria—do not think our subjects have not noticed. Even now, you spend most of what time you have in the present in bed, pushed beyond even your limits. If that is hardly bad, then I shudder to imagine what you would find worse.”

“Maybe...” For a moment, it seemed as though Celestia was faltering, but she quickly reasserted herself. “No. No. I’ve told you before, Luna, I can handle it. Equestria needs me to do this, and I’m more than capable of it. What will it take for you to understand that?”

“I—you—what it will take for me to understand?” spluttered Luna. “It is clear to me that you are confused. I do not obsess over the opinions of our subjects, I have not flooded Equestria with my own future selves, and I... I have not turned my back on my own sister! You have.

“You know, Luna,” said Celestia. “Much as I would love to hear this argument again, I’m quite busy, so kindly get to the point soon. I don’t have time for this.”

That was the final straw. Luna could no longer see straight, could hardly still think straight—but she heard what happened next. The animalistic scream of rage. The shriek of surprise.

The whiplike crack of her hoof against her sister’s face.

“If I have but one point to make, it is this,” said Luna, her voice low and dangerously soft. “You are too sure of yourself and too willing by far to sacrifice for our subjects’ approval. I have walked down this very path. I know where it will lead you. The last time this happened, you begged me to turn back, and I did not. It ended with one of us banished for one thousand years. If there was one thing I had expected of you, Celestia, it was that you had learned from my mistakes, Sister, so that you would not repeat them.”

“You... you hit me.” All the color drained from Celestia’s face. “You actually hit me.”

“And I shall do so again if you insist on ruining yourself,” said Luna. She meant it too. She had tried so very hard to be a good sister again, to make up for a millenium spent as a bad one. She had stood idly by for so long, hoping that Celestia would make the right choices, would know to turn back, would be wise enough to see what was staring her in the face... But sometimes a good sister must stand firm and say no, because she can see what is best for her sibling, even if they cannot.

Celestia herself had taught her that much.

For a long while, Celestia stood silent. For the very first time, she had no rebuttal, response, nor witty remark, and she made no effort to manufacture one. Then, a moment later, she finally spoke. “No...” Celestia croaked. “I... yes, you’re right, Luna. I’m—I’m so sorry, I didn’t realize this had meant so much to you. I’ll fix it. Everything. I’ll clear my schedule right now, in fact.”

The air around her began to crackle and spark with the familiar energy of gathering magic. Celestia’s horn glowed, softly at first, then slowly brighter... and then faded away altogether when she saw Luna’s glare. “Sorry,” she said, smiling guiltily. “Old habits die hard.”

“Quite all right, Sister,” said Luna. And for the first time in a long while, she gave Celestia a genuine smile back. “I understand completely.”

“I’ll call my steward to make the necessary arrangements,” said Celestia. She opened the door to her chambers a little wider, making way for Luna. “Would you like to keep me company until then?”

“I... would like that, yes.” Luna felt surprisingly light as she stepped into Celestia’s chambers. She hardly even noticed that the room had turned into a mess, or that the chair Celestia had found for her to sit in had been buried beneath a pile of unopened letters. What mattered most of all was that Celestia had listened to her. Whatever else Luna had told herself before the confrontation, she’d never really, honestly expected to succeed. But she had. By her own efforts, she had managed to save Celestia from herself, and all her future selves too.

She had been a good sister.

“You know I still have some work cut out for me,” said Celestia, working her way back under the covers of her bed. “I’ll need to make a few more trips back to account for all the Future Celestias in Equestria right now, else there might be a few—”

“Explosions,” finished Luna. Suddenly, she grinned. “And yes, Sister. I understand. Just so long as you make no more of yourself in the future.”

Celestia laughed, head nestled snugly in her pillow. “I promise, Luna. I’m past that.”

“Then everything shall be fine for the present,” said Luna, stifling her own laugh. She stood up and walked over to the door, carefully navigating a path through the letters that littered the floor. “I think, to celebrate, I shall call upon the kitchens to bring us some food. Are you hungry also, Sister?”

“Oh, sure, why not?” said Celestia. “It’s been ages since I last had breakfast in bed.”

Luna nodded and shut the door behind her as quietly as she could. She whistled to herself as she skipped down the stairs. At the end of it all, it had proven a good morning. Better than good, even. Among the best she’d ever had. And it was about to get even better.

There was, after all, no better way to greet a new day than a Sisters’ Special Breakfast Together.

Comments ( 93 )

This story is 480% Time Loop Approved

Wait how did Eakin comment on this story before it was posted?

WHAT SORT OF TIME TOMFOOLERY IS THIS?

TIMEFOOLERY???

3069474>>3073058 Dang, I was just about to reference this group.

HAVE MY LIKE

I liked the story and it jumped from 5 to 8 :applejackconfused:

My likes are the strength of three because my heart is pure! :ajsmug:

:rainbowlaugh:

:applejackunsure:

Okay, must be some other reason :ajsleepy:

Eakin sent me here.

3073104
When you click on it, the thumbs meter updates. Apparently, in the time it took from opening the page to hitting the thumb, 3 people have thumbed it.

:trollestia: Controls that rate at which the sun crosses the sky. Decides that the solution is time travel. :facehoof:

Nice ending.

Very well done. VERY well done indeed.

~Skeeter The Lurker

Comment posted by Royal deleted Aug 20th, 2013

3073139 no It will end VERY well...for us the readers.

Well. I'm impressed.

This is probably one of the most well-written fics I've read. Both Luna and Celestia's characters were perfect, and I laughed more than a few times at their antics and inner monologue. You nailed their speech patterns superbly, too.

The narration was spot-on. It was whimsical and funny, almost effortless in its execution. This story managed to be absurd, mind-bending, and surprisingly deep, all at the same time. I actually can't find any fault with this. I mean, I got a little confused at first, but that's more because I'm an idiot than anything else.

Also, time loops are awesomesauce.

All in all, I absolutely adore this fic, and would read it again in a heartbeat. You could say it's...

images.wikia.com/mlpfanart/images/f/f3/Deal_with_it_by_KeinZantezuken.png

...Timeless.

fc03.deviantart.net/fs70/f/2012/301/4/9/snowflake_aka_steroid_pony_mlp_cosplay_refrence__by_bigtuna6501-d5j7an3.png

(i'll show myself out)

35 likes and it made it to the featured box?
What sorcery is this? :trixieshiftleft:

Well done. Short, but gets to the point. No unnecessary fluff, and it gets the job done.
Also, Hooray for more time traveling!

3073326

Everything. :V

3073373

Wow, that's a way more positive reaction than I was expecting. Thanks a bunch for reading, man!

3073377

I thought it was made fairly clear that it was time sorcery.

Haha, but nah seriously. The featured box is all built on relative popularity, so if most of the fics in it are old and on their way out, it takes relatively less for new fics to get featured.

3073424

Thanks for the read and praise, yo. Means a lot, you don't even know.

All hail more time traveling!

Broken loops end with dead Striders.
It was a good fic, got multiple chuckles out of me, writing was good and characters and their interactions felt realistic.
And this looks like a canned speech.

3073192
To be fair, making the sun travel across the sky more slowly wouldn't have actually given her more time to do things, just more daylight. Also, it probably would've caused a ton of other problems.

3073513
Yeah, I had Homestuck flashbacks as well.

I loved this story. I loved everything about it. That is all.

“You... you hit me.” All the color drained from Celestia’s face. “You actually hit me.”

:trollestia: "Not even my own father ever hit me!"

I was pulled in by the cover art and made to stay by the laughs:rainbowlaugh:

Damn, I've bee reading way too much of Eakin's work, I totally expected Celestia to send her into orbit all under the guise of "It's in her best interests, I'm truly helping her.":rainbowlaugh: I prefer your ending.

Time shenanigans are the best kind of shenanigans. :twilightsmile:

Your portrayals of Celestia and Luna are perfect, especially with regards to Celestia's penchant for self-sacrifice. When you look at stories like this, it's easy to see where Twilight got her neuroses from.

I'm glad Eakin mentioned this fic!

With all the talk of explosions, I'm kind of disappointed nothing exploded. Still, a well written story of celestial shenanigans. Good work, Obs.

Aww, what a sweet ending.

It took some bitch slapping, but well earned in my opinion. It takes one to know one.

A great story! The paradox has been averted!

I have to say, I was a bit surprised at the quick resolution. It felt a little bit too neat and easy, and that the potential wasn't quite filled. Ah well, pretty good overall.

3073377 Plugging is magic.

What description should have been:

The solution to having no time is obvious: just make some more. Send it to the moon!

3074587 I find your statement... Logical.
I am Shockwave.

3073513

Funny you should mention that, since this fic was originally conceived (something like a year ago, I think) while I was still part of the Homestuck fandom. The fic's evolved a lot since then, but now that I think about it, the original concept may very well have had its roots in Homestuck time shenanigans.

3073949

I am not as cruel a man as Eakin.

3074133

Thanks, yo! Celestia and Luna are very interesting characters to me, and I've written a whole bunch about them by this point, so I'd like to think I've picked up a thing or two about their character voices. Good to see the fruits of my labor are sweet.

3074160

More explosions next time. I promise.

3073244

You know it.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3075087

True enough.

~Skeeter The Lurker

3073104
Same happened to me, and I'm not even an element! :pinkiegasp:
We're just that special, I guess. :yay:

If for a couple weeks Celestia has several dozen copies of herself in the present then she must make up that time later. It will be more than "a few trips." She will have to spend approximately the next year in the past.

3075487

But what if there were suddenly multiple realities running parallel to this one that she froze and then drew the other Celestias out of, thus negating the need to make up that time in her dimensional reality?

Why is the concept of time travel so weird?

I don't really get why Luna was so upset
I mean she's time traveling
I guess what I really don't get is why there was ever a problem at all
Like
Time travel
She can spend all the time she wants with Luna, all the time she wants sleeping
It won't matter, she'll still make all the deadlines and whatnot
??????

3075884 I think her problem was that Celestia was making all these future selves.....and yet.... still had no time for HER....

3075884
Because that's not what Celestia was doing. Celestia was working herself into the ground, constantly trying to do everything at all times and never doing anything just for enjoyment.

Celestia isn't very good at time travel.

I was starting to wonder if Luna was going to take a trip back in time herself, to stop Celestia from going loopy!

This worked much better for all concerned, I think. :trollestia:

Dat cover art.

*heart attack*

Not enough time to make new accounts to upvote this.

Oh, I know! TIME TRAVEL! :trollestia:

And everything took place on a Tuesday.
No other weekday can handle that much stress.:twilightoops::twilightoops::trollestia::trollestia::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy::pinkiehappy:

Great lesson! Never time travel or everything will blow up! :trollestia:

This story made me happy:twilightsmile:

3076011

Apparently XD

Ch 1

, then added, “Ensconced in a puzzle, of
course

.”

"Ensconced" is wrongly capitalized

3078451

I believe it's correct as-is, given that "Ensconced" is technically beginning its own sentence within the dialogue.

Am i the only one who sees how this story relates to my favorite episode of stargate? :pinkiehappy:

Pretty good. Pretty darn good. :moustache:

See, kids? This is why you should just say no to chronomancy. :twilightsmile:

When my future self told me about this fic six months ago, I could hardly wait for it to be posted. I can hardly wait for the sequel, which is so much better than this. Unless by posting this comment, I somehow prevent the sequel from being written, in which case I need to remember to go back and tell myself not to post thi--

3080205

You, sir. I like your moxie.

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