The 'Rescue'
As the magic-enhanced cart bounced down the road, I found myself wishing it had suspension or, at the very least, a padded seat. Six of the patterns were active—any higher was nearly impossible to control on such a rough path, and the jostling was usually enough to disrupt my hold on the throttle anyway. Trees whipped past me as I cheered wildly and sped through what I later learned was the Whitetail Woods.
I muttered, “Wonder if there’s some way to find out how fast—”
“Hold on! I’m on my way!”
The voice was familiar, but I just couldn’t put a finger on it. Even if I still had all eight, I’d be at a loss. And then it hit me. Well, she hit me, hard, as she yanked me from the cart as she zipped by.
Luckily, the impact made me drop the throttle and it fell to the side instead of letting more of the pattern connect. Unluckily, with the magic broken the yoke ceased to float and slammed into the ground, catapulting the cart into the air and scattering the scrap once more. The wood that attached the yoke to the cart snapped loudly, and the rest of the cart landed a ways down the road, upside down, with Dave screaming expletives the entire time. Admittedly, it was a rather spectacular crash.
When we landed, I looked back at my would-be rescuer, a cyan sky-blue pegasus with a mane that looked like she lost a fight with not only a pair of scissors, but the paint section at the hardware store as well. Yet, the vibrant mess suited her. She smirked at me, one eyebrow arched over a magenta eye.
“Good thing I was around to save you,” she said. “I was na—scouting, yeah that’s it, scouting when I heard the screams, so I swooped in and grabbed you before it crashed. Was it some sort of spell gone wrong? I saw some weird magic glow around the whole thing.” Her speech was nearly as fast as she was, and I barely understood her. Plus, it didn’t help how distracting all the gesturing was.
I sighed heavily and shook my head, grunting as my traitorous mane slapped my eye. “Rainbow Dash...” How could I forget that voice? Stranger than that, it was nearly identical to the show’s rendition.
“Yep, that’s me!” She preened, puffing out her chest as she hovered a small distance from the ground. “I’m not surprised you’ve heard of me—I am the fastest pegasus in Equestria and the Element of Loyalty.”
Dave crawled out from the wreckage, dusted himself off, and shouted, “What an egotistical dumbass!”
I rolled my eyes, hoping her ego was mostly tied to the introduction. Still, this was probably the Rainbow Dash from the show, so I couldn’t help but assume that was the truth. “Dash, I’m sorry I woke you up with my cheering, but I didn’t really need to be saved. I was driving that thing.” I could hardly believe I was talking to one of the characters from the show, not to mention one of the Mane Six. Wasn’t about to go all fangirl—or maybe fanfilly or fanmare—on her, but come on.
“Yeah, like that makes sense: an earth pony doing magic.” She scoffed. “You were going really fast though. At least thirty-five knots, I’d have to say. Wait wait, did you push it from behind and jump in?” She burst out laughing.
“I swear, if I could actually hurt her...”
“That slow? I could have probably pushed it to fifty if the road was smooth enough.” I figured it’d be wise to wait for her to calm down. “I wasn’t using magic. I was using science… that had magic involved. Magi-science. No, wait, I like magitech better.”
“You’re serious, aren’t you?” She fiercely shook her head. “Show me.”
“Hopefully it still works, I don’t know how much damage it took in the crash. We need to find a brass-looking chain thingie.”
“Sounds plenty scientific to me.” I didn’t even need to look at her to know she was rolling her eyes.
“—and then I’d get the cricket bat just so I could—” Dave was in the middle of the most violent game of charades in existence, although he had no chance of winning with all the talking he was doing.
“Would you have understood me if I called it a makeshift spell-pattern throttle?” I couldn’t resist smirking.
“Fine, you made your point. Five bits says I’ll find it before you, though.” She pawed at the ground, and her wings twitched in preparation to bolt.
“Why would I take that bet? I have no wings or money,” I grumbled, frustrated, and went towards the overturned wagon. “Let’s just get looking so you can conk out.”
“Hey, I was not... Alright, I was. Sorry.” She rubbed the back of her head. “About the whole cart thing. If what you say is true, I guess I kind of made a mess.”
“—and if she thinks this is a mess, just wait until we get to part two—” Dave really needed to give it a rest. He most likely couldn’t hear my thoughts, but he didn’t exactly hand out a pamphlet titled “Imaginary People and You: We’re In Your Head.”
Expecting large cracks and a mostly unusable vehicle, I was glad to find the front was the only part that took noticeable damage. The rest was just miscellaneous wear and tear from before Softie pushed it off on me. He missed out for sure—this was one sturdy chunk of wood, safe from being chucked by even the most surly of woodchucks. How much wood could a woodchuck chuck if a woodchuck could chuck wood? Not enough.
“I got lucky. Nothing major’s wrong with it, and it’s not like I really need to pull it anywhere. Remember what we’re looking for?” The side barely lifted as I heaved against it. However, I didn’t even need to ask for help as Dash was over in an instant, using her momentum to fully tilt the cart back onto its wheels.
“Dang, I’ve met rocks less solid than that.”
Conveniently, Dave had finished his rant in time to caution me. “Don’t mention that rock Rarity had a crush on. I don’t remember the name, but I’m sure you do. Even if this numbskull doesn’t have any idea what you’re talking about, that’s bound to raise questions.” He knew me so well—I had been about to mention passing Tom on my way here.
“Hey, ground to Gearflank, do you read me?” A hoof waved in front of my face and I reared up in surprise. “I said ‘brass thingy, right?’ You spaced out for a bit there.”
I nodded to both of them before turning to Dash. “It’s Sterling Gears. And yes. The item is about this long.” Distancing hooves to show size was much more awkward than using hands to do the same. “It’ll look like a jumbled mess, but that’s normal.”
“We passed normal a long time ago,” Rainbow Dash muttered as she took off. Surprisingly, she actually does leave behind a rainbow contrail when she’s really booking it.
She hovered a long ways from the ground as she scanned the area. I set off in a different direction, only to have her land in front of me, the throttle in her mouth.
“This it?” I had to read her face to get what she was saying, and at my nod, she spat it out. “Blech, what is that stuff? Tastes like… like weird.” Her face scrunched up in confusion.
“Yeah, that’s what I thought. That’s the downside of needing hooves to walk, I only really have one way to carry things. Why didn’t you just use your hooves to hold it while you were flying?”
“I get less drag if I carry it in my mouth. But you didn’t answer, what is that stuff?”
“Sucks to be you two. I get to enjoy these lovely hands and fingers.” He flamboyantly flexed his phalanges at me.
“Do they have any magic lights in Ponyville or Cloudsdale?” Dash nodded like I’d asked if the feathery lumps on her back were wings. “It’s the stuff on the inside that makes the light. I think the metal has the magic in it, so that might be the taste.”
“Magic tastes weird then. But what does a light have in common with pushing a cart?”
“More than a raven has in common with a writing desk, that’s for sure. If it’s shaped different, it does different stuff, but it’s fairly picky.” I climbed into the empty cart and motioned for her to toss up the throttle. She was busy trying to wrap her head around the raven comment, and it took a stamp of my hoof to get Dash’s attention and have her toss what I wanted. “Each of these is from one lamp. I had to reshape them myself. Even though they are linked together, I only go faster if more are touching the cart. Watch.” Her eyes widened as the cart rolled forward slowly. “One.” I increased the speed. “Two.”
Before I knew it, she was next to me in the cart, her head tilted to the side as she closely watched what I was doing. “Now I’m interested. Let’s see how fast we can get this thing going.”
“I’m not about to leave my stuff here.”
She sighed impatiently. “Fine. Just wait here—I’d be done before you did anything anyways.” Rainbow Dash was probably correct, as she darted back and forth at a speed that convinced me pegasi were immune to whiplash.
Ouch, Dash, that was rude. I could probably rig something to get me going faster than her. Perhaps something with a rocket. Or five. The cart rocked as she landed with the last of the lamps and the yoke, urging me to get going like I was a getaway driver for a bank heist.
The path through the woods was far smoother than the road leading here, so I was able to get eight of the patterns on without ending up in another accident. I preferred to sit in the vehicle, but when I glanced at Dash, she was calmly standing to let the wind run through her outstretched wings.
As the Whitetail Woods faded, I slowed to a stop, and we found ourselves on the hills just outside Ponyville. I cracked my neck and ask my passenger if she’d enjoyed the trip.
“Not as much as flying, but it’s different. Where did you learn how to do this?”
“Taught myself. Plenty of explosions—I bet you’d have a blast.”
She groaned. “No puns. I get enough of those from my friend, Pinkie. You’ll probably meet her if you’re going into town, whether you want to or not. Speaking of town, why are you visiting Ponyville anyway?” She paused in thought. “Let me guess, you’re here to gawk at the new princess.”
My mouth flapped open and closed as my brain went into overdrive to process this tidbit. Was she talking about Twilight? But the third season had ended years ago… oh my glob, I was a time traveller! My resumé was going to be so badass.
Still, if it was Twilight, what else was the same from the show? And what about fanfics? Wait, I needed to get my priorities straight. First things first, I needed to figure out if it was Derpy Hooves or Ditzy Doo then food—I hadn’t eaten for hours. My stomach protested about me wanting to play with the ponies, but being around ponies counted as sustenance in my book, so take that, stomach.
Rainbow Dash had tried everything in the book to get my attention, from poking to shouting and back again with a stop for ice cream on the way. Metaphorical ice cream, sorry. It’s the thirty-second flavor. “I’m going to have to fly you to Ponyville General, aren’t I?”
“Huh? No, sorry.” Time to gather some information. “Did you say new princess?”
Her mouth dropped open as she stared at me in disbelief, “What rock have you been living under? It’s only been a week, but still, how do you miss news like that?”
“Travelling.” I shrugged. “Who is it?”
She shook her head to clear it. “Twilight Sparkle. She finished some spell and boom, instant princess. She’s a good friend of mine, but it’s been hard to hang out with her with all the people trying to suck up to royalty getting in the way.”
Seemed on track with the show so far. “I just wanted to read some stuff in the library, kick my hooves up, and earn a few bits, nothing more, nothing less.”
Her cheeks puffed up as she struggled to contain another laughing fit. She was failing, of course. “Twilight, sorry, Princess Twilight lives at and runs the library. She’s out now though, something came up in Canterlot.”
“Again?”
“I know the feeling, but Ponyville’s had its fair share of excitement since me and the other Elements beat Nightmare Moon.” She glanced up at the sun, which was barely into its descent. “I need to get going. I’m on the evening shift for weather patrol today and somepony interrupted my sleep.” I wasn’t about to take the last part seriously with the smirk she was wearing, though.
“I said I was sorry. Thanks for the info though, I won’t keep you if you need to rest.”
“It was no problem. You’re pretty cool, Gears. For an egghead that is. When you check out the library, tell Spike I said ‘hey’.” One blink later, she was gone and I was enjoying a small snack of trail dust.
“Could use some ketchup,” I muttered and hopped back into the cart. Why did I feel like I’d forgotten something? Oh shit, maybe I really did leave the stove on before I’d left my universe. Dave had never answered when I’d asked.
“Wait! Wait for me you… you… give me a moment.” Dave wheezed as he rested his hands on his knees.
“Oh, hey Dave, where’ve you been?”
He held up a finger to tell me to wait, and then he held up a different finger to show his current opinion of me. “You left me behind when you took off with that blue disaster. What the hell?”
“Why would that matter? Don’t you just poof in whenever you feel like it?” Dave tried to explain imaginary physics to me once and only once.
“Usually, but only when it’s convenient or amusing for me.” He climbed into the cart and laid down. “I’m getting too old for this shit.”
“I’ve known you for three years. So, you’re three.” Snickering, I urged the cart down the hill. Oddly enough, my speed remained uniform, so I increased the speed to a more acceptable pace.
“Most outgrow their imaginary friends before three... Long. Torturous. Years.” Each word dripped with more venom than the last.
“I got upgraded to friend? Sweet!” Though I was more excited Ponyville would be visible from the top of the next hill.
“Probationary friend, and that’s only because I can’t make you an intern.”
I crested the hill only to run straight into a cliffhanger.
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2725055
actually, you had me at "SCIENCE!!" too...
and the part where stuff happens and science goes kaput
.....
....
I also like spam in a can...
...
I liked the part with the explosions too
..
I actually like this fic in general
.
I love you
2729859
Thank you, I'm flattered.
That came out a bit ambiguously.
"Mmmh, cupcakes!"
2730522
Hmm, yeah, good point. Fixed it so it's a bit clearer.
Yay! Moar of my favorite of favorites!
Wait... you're flattered!?!
Oh noes! Did I hug you too hard? Please un-flattern yourself!
2735223
Not flattened, flattered :P
Gotta read the whole story! It's so good
That last sentence bro. I gave to say I'm absolutely loving this story.
Sthap. I'm in class. I can't be laughing like this.
Hey man, great story so far. Normally I wait to finish a story before commenting, but I wanted to ask:
was
in reference to The Descendant?
TWILIGHT IS IN CANTERLOT CUS THEY FOUND HIS BAGS AND THEN THEY ARE WATCHING MLP ON HIS VIDEO PLAYER AND BE ALL LIKE WHATTTTTTTTWTF. AND THE. GEARS IS GONA BE THATS TOTS MINE AND THEY BE ALL LIKE PROVE IT BITCH AND HE BE ALL LIKE DA PRINCESSES GONA BE KIDNAPPED IN THE NEXT SEASON AND DEY BE ALL LIKE WHATTTTT MOUTHS WIDE OPEN AND DEY BE ALL LIKE OFF WITH HIS HEAD .......
yus I TOTS called it
i like it,but i was thinking of a dishonord crossover
/
/
which should i be?
up
me
6370465 answer is
5740213
i think it's just a common riddle...
but, knowing me, I'm probably wrong
Well, there goes the 4th wall.
I bet Trixie would just "LOVE" a "Magitech" wagon.
9713318
"...
... wheels? 
"
I love this fic
....alright this is the most glorious story I ever read here.