Nightlife
Semi-cautiously driving through a dark Ponyville, I kept my eyes peeled for a place to get drunk. You know, one of the simple pleasures. Not a soul besides me wandered the streets, and our only company was the small haven of light each street lamp created. It may have been an unnatural darkness, but magical light did have its advantages. When I wandered past town hall, I had tried to check the clock tower, but it was hidden from view.
“And how are you expecting to find a bar?” Dave asked as he sat at the rear of the magic-propelled cart.
“Or a club, whatever. I’m not picky, they just need something to drink. I know the idea is there, after all, the pack drinks that ale of theirs.”
“How strong was that swill anyway? You looked like you were about to keel over.”
“Battery acid would have been more mild. Not made for ponies, that’s for sure, but it’d probably be the sort of drink Spike would go for if he were older.”
He winced sympathetically and shook his head. “Yikes. I don’t think you’d want to give alcohol to anything that breathes fire though. Remember when Fido mentioned the accident in the forge?”
“I doubt it’s the same, but in the show he only really blew fire when he was sending letters for Twilight. He probably has different methods of breathing it, but could you imagine if he burped and just sent booze to Celestia?” I laughed at the admittedly stupid thought. Squinting didn’t help my sight, and I checked to make sure my goggles weren’t over my eyes. They didn’t hamper my vision, but I needed all the help I could get in this gloom.
Still chuckling, Dave answered, “Doubt you’ll be able to find a bar in this junk. I don’t think ponies have invented neon lighting yet.”
“That’s why I mentioned the club idea. All I have to do is listen for dance music or whatever as it should be the only place playing music that loudly this late.”
“And how are you going to pay for these drinks of yours?” he wryly smirked at me, raising an eyebrow.
I groaned at the obvious flaw. After a few moments, I sighed. “Maybe they’ll take some of these cookies as payment.”
“If they can be used in cooking, I doubt gems are as valuable here.”
“I don’t just have gem cookies—I didn’t eat all of them. I wanted to, but Spike kicked me out.”
Dave barely choked out his words between guffaws. “Yeah, maybe the bartender will have a sweet tooth and have missed dinner. Anyway, maybe you should stop the cart once in a while to listen for music. The wheels do make noise.”
Something gave me the feeling stopping the cart would be a bad idea, but Dave had a point. Each subtle twitch still made me flinch, but I was slowly getting used to it. Ever so faintly, a low thumping came from the darkness, and Dave made sure I saw his shit-eating grin. He didn’t even have to say ‘I told you so,’ but he did anyways. Thrice.
“Laugh it up. At the end of the night I’ll either be drinking alcohol or eating cookies.” That quickly turned his face to a deep scowl, and he turned away from me to grumble.
I only ran into five or six mailboxes, as the last might have just been a fence post, and blundered towards the noise. Ponyville wasn’t a large town, and the word ‘city’ could only be used to describe it sparingly, so I soon found myself in the countryside. With no street lights to guide me, I was enveloped by the cold black, and strayed from the road often in my blindness. Each time the wheels caught the grass, the cart jerked and shuddered like it was coming apart at the seams. My only solace was the music’s ever-increasing volume, and eventually it became more than just bass.
A small building stood half-shrouded in shadows, and the lights over the entrance beckoned to me warmly, encouraging me to spend the bits it assumed lined my saddlebags. As I watched, I could occasionally spot flickers of other colors that no doubt came from inside. ‘The Seed’ was stylishly painted on a giant sign above the front doors, and various posters lined the front walls to advertise the joint and display their promotional events. Unfortunately, my luck probably wouldn’t allow me to take advantage of mares’ night, since I still had no idea what day it was.
“Swanky.” Dave snorted as we strolled up to the thick, wooden doors. “This is certainly a high class establishment.”
Raw sound bowled me over as I opened the doors, and I stumbled backwards, half-surprised and half-overpowered by the force of it. The doors swung shut, quickly muting the music.
From my position on the ground, I gasped. “Those are some thick walls.”
“No kidding. How are your eardrums still intact?”
“Pony powers.”
“Stop using that as an excuse.” He rolled his eyes as I got to my hooves and staggered back to the door.
It was like fighting against a comically strong gust of wind. Pausing to pull my goggles enough gave the sound enough of an advantage to push me back to the door. Once I fought past the small entryway, the sound abruptly died down and I stumbled forward, crashing into a table. It was like believing there were still more stairs to climb and having a hoof/foot, depending on who was listening to me ramble, fall upon nothing. The music still blared loudly, but it didn’t feel like I was going to be literally blown away anymore.
“Sweet Celestia!” I faintly heard someone exclaim over the din. I think it was a stallion. “Hey DJ, somepony made it past the bass barrier.”
“No kidding? Get them a drink on me, they definitely earned it.” The reply was also barely audible, but I could tell the shouting had been honed with many nights of having to communicate over the noise.
I couldn’t hear the hoofsteps until they were right next to me. “You alright, lady?”
It dawned on me that I was still laying there and using a chair incorrectly. I dopily grinned at the two periwinkle ponies standing over me. My eyes focused, and I grinned at the one periwinkle pony standing over me and wondered why he was wearing a sleeved vest. And then I wondered why I was seeing so many vests that day. Vestapalooza! Why wasn’t there a holiday for vests? “I am since hearing I get a free drink.”
The earth pony chuckled as he lent me a hoof in untangling myself from the furniture and limping over to the bar. Even though everything still had the rustic feel indicative of Ponyville buildings, there was still a modern, sleek air over everything. Decisive, minimalist architecture and furniture dominated the club, and the sitting areas flowed in an elegant curve around a checkered, faintly glowing dance floor. There were only a few other patrons, and each one tried their damndest to brood in a darkened corner.
Two behemoth speakers flanked a turntable emblazoned with an electric-blue musical note that seemed familiar, but music was definitely not one of my talents. Bright beams of light flashed down from overhead, creating scintillating patterns that were expertly maneuvered to stay within the empty dance floor. A hoof tapping the bar caught my attention before I could see who I owed my drink to.
“I asked what you wanted for a drink, but I understand you probably couldn’t hear me. It definitely takes some practice here,” he said, chuckling again while he polished a glass like a stereotypical bartender.
“Oh.” I hemmed and hawed before shrugging, defeated. “House special if you have one?”
“A newbie, eh?” A wicked smile spread on his face. “One house special coming right up. If you’re sure that is.”
Remembering my previous experience with Equestrian alcohol, I laughed at the challenge. “Absolutely.”
“I admire your confidence.” He nodded and set about preparing the drink, carefully positioning each bottle he used so the labels were out of sight. “Why did you come through the front and not take the side door anyway?”
“There’s a side door?” I deadpanned. Next to me, Dave fell off his stool in laughter.
He sighed and shouted at the DJ. “You forgot to turn on the side-entrance light again, and you forgot to put up the sign mentioning said side entrance. Again. Is there anything you remember to do?”
“I remembered I worked tonight.”
“Small victories,” he muttered, hanging his head in mock shame as he continued mixing the drink. An insane amount of ingredients went into it, I noticed, and he did cackle occasionally.
A small shot glass appeared in front of me, filled with a drink that looked like neon orange juice. Small wisps of vapor wafted up from it, making my eyes water. “Smells strong. That’s it though? You used way too much to fit in a shot glass.”
“Yep, that’s the bass cannon. Don’t let the size fool you. I had to mix up a fresh batch of a couple of the ingredients. It wastes too much if I only make enough for this drink.” His mischievous grin egged me on as he spoke. “All at once now, don’t nurse it.”
Without a second thought I snatched up the glass and downed the contents, wincing as it scalded my tongue despite being frigid in temperature. The telltale burn of alcohol raced down my throat, and it kicked hard, but at least it didn’t feel like it caused internal bleeding. Behind the burn, there was a subtle yet delicious taste that might have tasted like berries if my tongue still worked. The bartender eyed me expectantly.
“Delicious.” I smirked, eyes stinging from the vapor still drifting from my mouth.
His face fell. “That’s it?” He turned away from me, muttering to himself, “I know I mixed it right, and nothing’s expired.”
“Nice!” cheered the DJ, who had came to the bar and sat down next to me unnoticed. “I helped Tall come up with that one. Named it myself actually.”
“And that’s all you did for it.” He scoffed.
I turned to the DJ and gasped, barely managing to get out the words “Vinyl. Bucking. Scratch.”
The white, unicorn mare wore an expression of mild surprise that was mostly hidden by her signature violet shades. She turned to Tall and grinned broadly. “See, told you they don’t just know me by DJ PON-3.” As she returned her attention to me, she casually extended a hoof. “Always good to meet a fan.”
“Of course I’m a fan. You’re best pony.” I rolled my eyes and shook her hoof. I mentally slapped myself for not recognizing the emblem on the turntable as her cutie mark. “Sterling Gears.”
“Hey, don’t stroke her already gigantic ego.” He laughed, relaxedly leaning against the bar. His hoof reached over and he introduced himself as Tall Order.
“Too late.” Vinyl chuckled.
I looked from her and back to the bartender, noticing the stallion’s periwinkle coat and ultramarine mane matched the two-tone color of Vinyl’s mane.
“Hey, you two match. Kind of.” It wasn’t as funny as I thought it was. I may have been feeling a bit tipsy. My face was already warm. What had been in that thing?
“Comes from being bro and sis,” Vinyl replied. “Can I get the usual, baby bro?”
“One loogie or two.” He glared, but the brotherly smile betrayed his amusement, and he set about making the new drink. He easily talked without being distracted from his work. “What’s your liver made of, Sterling? That drink has knocked stallions twice your size on their flanks.”
“Liver meat?” I shrugged. Okay, more than a bit tipsy.
“Good to see you can actually get drunk.” He chuckled as he set down an amber beverage in front of his sister and cracked open a rootbeer for himself.
Vinyl levitated the cup to her mouth and sighed in satisfaction after the first sip. “I love me some Stalliongrad golden vodka. Potatoes have to be good for something, after all. Hey, did you enjoy your bass cannon?”
I lifted my saddlebags from the floor and placed them on Dave’s vacant chair. He was nowhere to be seen, but that didn’t concern me. “It was delicious. Much better than the rock ale I drank earlier today.”
Tall roared with laughter. “I was afraid I was losing my touch. Good to know you were just pre-numbed. What’s it taste like? I haven’t had the opportunity to try it myself.”
“Fire and metal with a hint of alcohol.” Everypony laughed heartily. "They use rocks for flavoring, so I think there was some copper in the batch I had.”
“Rocks? I guess that makes sense, but I never would have thought of that. What about the base?”
“Mushrooms of some kind, I can ask next time I see the pack.”
“Mushrooms? Interesting,” he muttered thoughtfully. “I’ll have to mention that to Berry next time I see her. Not much of a drinker, but you won’t find a better brewer from here to the Griffon Kingdom. Wait a minute, did you say ‘pack?’ As in diamond dog pack?”
“Yep, I’m their new beta.” I slurred the story to them, trying my best not to exaggerate too much since I wouldn’t remember what I’d made up. At the end, I pulled out a stack of cookies, and after remembering at the last minute to check if they were the gem ones, sheepishly switched them out with the ones still in the saddlebags. “Can I pay for another drink with cookies? They’re like tasty bits, right?”
Vinyl and Tall struggled to keep a straight face as they shared an amused look. Yeah, nobody expected that to last long. Between gasping for air and laughing, Tall still managed to ask what I wanted.
“I guess I’ll try what Vinyl’s having.”
“Paying with cookies, that’s gold.” She clutched her side and let her laughter fade into sporadic chuckling.
“Consider yourself lucky I would have spent the bits you gave me on cookies anyway.”
Blurry time trailed on as the three of us chatted and drank. Vinyl and I were slowly knocking back fairly strong drinks, but Tall insisted he didn’t drink while working, despite his sister’s slightly slurred pleading. The other patrons in the club had left since then, smartly leaving out the side door since music still played even without Vinyl at the turntable.
My mind wandered back to my entry, and I asked, “Wh-what was... that I had to fight through?” It would have been easier to talk if I hadn’t realized my pony tongue was much bigger than my old one.
“Twilight tried telling me once. Something something acoustic reso-reso—buck it—vibrating stuff.”
“We need to make a real bass cannon. It’ll be awesome.” My hiccup at the end caused the other mare and me to fall into a giggling fit.
“Yes! Tall... Tall… This pony is fun. Where’d you find her?”
“I think I’m going to cut you two off. I don’t think you have a chance in Tartarus at carrying through with it, but you shouldn’t get plastered enough to try.” Tall sighed and stole our glasses.
Vinyl whined, “Aww, why me too? You’re killing me. And Gears. Blargh. Gears, die with me.”
“Bla—oh shit.” Dramatically falling backward didn’t work so well on a barstool. “I’m okay.”
“Because your marefriend will kill me.” He chuckled.
“Not my sweetheart, she’s a Tavi. Wait...” She hiccuped, causing another gigglefest.
“A sweetheart who will tan my hide if I let you get that drunk again. I don’t want to rebuild this place again.” Tall shot her a stern look.
She waved her hooves defensively. “That was one time!.”
“Still, no.”
“Aww, well talking ‘bout Tavi reminds me I should get home.”
“She’s still in Canterlot for that symphony performance, Vinyl. Still, it is about closing time. You two go get some fresh air, and I’ll finish cleaning up in here. Hit the music on your way out, Vinyl. I’ll walk you two home when I’m done.” We stared at him, unwilling to get off the barstools. “Get going.”Tall gestured towards the door.
He watched his sister and new friend leave, and was impressed he didn’t have to remind the latter about her saddlebags. Before the door closed, he poured himself a stiff drink and grumbled, “Confound these ponies—they drive me to drink.”
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That's perfectly normal.
Yay, Vinyl Scratch appearance!
And I'd nearly gotten that tune out of my head...
Misplaced comma, I think.
I am impressed, you managed to updated regularly for nearly a month.
May writer's block never ever happen to you.
2804866
Yeah, my bad. I know my punctuation quite well, I just didn't notice that my hands rebelled against me there. I usually catch the little bastards when I do the final proofread.
2804977
Thank you very much! I hope to continue updating this regularly, and I'm surprised I made it this long, to be honest.
PFUDOR!!!
I have been singing that sporadically every twenty minutes or so since it was posted.
I would post a giff of AJ nibbling her hat, but I'm on a tablet and don't want to search for it.
I think this chapter was very fun too read; I can see it would be fun to write.
2805381
A good friend of mine actually beat you in linking me that gif :P
2807990
References. References everywhere.
2845929 SMILES!!!!!!!!! YEAH!!!!!!!
In the next chapter... Drunk driving!
Pink Fluffy Unicorns Dancing On Rainbows? What's that?
..Oh. Oh no. Now I remember why I put up a mental shield to stop myself from remembering.
It's getting harder and harder with all this singing... Where's it coming from? Why can't I stop?
Pylons,
pink fluffyaway!PFUDOR! This chapter earned you an upvote, normally don't do that until I finish the story
The reference at the end I nearly fell out of my chair laughing.