Ch.10 - Stupid Dogs! You made me look bad!
"Thank you Midnight!"
“You’re welcome girls.” Both fillies were currently walking three-legged while holding an ice cream cone in the other. “Are there any more adventures planned for the day?”
“Nah, we were thinking of playing outside today.” Midnight, Sapphire, and the girls were all returning from the promised trip to Sugarcube Corner. Both adults had needed to shop for some groceries so the whole outing had worked out nicely. As they left the first stall they nearly bumped into Rarity and Spike, the latter of which pulling a wheel barrel.
“Whoops! Sorry about that Rarity.”
“Oh, it’s no problem at all Midnight. Spike and myself are just heading to the outskirts of town to collect gems.”
“Out again huh?”
“Well that one piece I’ve been working on DID take up all the rest I had, but I need more because, and you’re never going to believe this, SAPPHIRE SHORES came to my boutique this morning!” Both fillies stopped eating their ice creams mid-lick.
"THE SAPPHIRE SHORES!?” They both screeched.
“Um, yes girls, and, please, lower your voices. She came into my shop and just loved the outfit. Of course I immediately sold it to her, but she wants FIVE more like it, each with a different jewel pattern. So I enlisted the help of dear Spike here,” the baby dragon swooned a bit, “to help me hunt for gems.” Both fillies looked up at Midnight.
“Can we join her too, Midnight!?”
“Yeah, can we help her get gems for the Sapphire Shores!?” Midnight looked from the girls to Rarity then Sapphire and back.
“Um… well girls I guess it’s okay if Rarity says it’s okay and if it’s safe-”
“CAN WE JOIN YOU RARITY!?” Both girls screamed.
“Well… um… to answer Midnight it is pretty safe. We aren’t going up mountains or in caves, but I’ll only say yes IF you promise to act like proper young ladies.” The girls looked back at Midnight, giving her the biggest puppy-dog begging-eyes they could muster.
“Um… well… uh… oh, alright! You can go with Rarity.” Both fillies looked like they were about to explode. “BUT! Only if she can get you back by dinner time.” The white unicorn waved a dismissive hoof.
“It shant be a problem Midnight I assure you. Come along girls, you’ll be part of history in the making!" As the new group of four left, Sapphire leaned over to Midnight.
“Are you sure it’s okay?” Midnight waved her own hoof in dismissal.
“It’s Rarity we’re talking about here Sapphire. She’s the last pony to get into any sort of real trouble."
-----------------------------
All the way out of town the only thing the two fillies and dragon would talk about was the Pony of Pop. “She’s awesome!” Pinchy sang out.
“And really cool!” Dinky agreed.
“I know! She’s talented, amazing, beautiful…” Spike stopped when he saw Rarity looking at him. “… and not even half the pony you are Rarity!” The two fillies giggled.
“Spike, a lady is never jealous.”
“But you HAD to be flipping out that she was in your store, right?” Pinchy asked, looking a bit flippy herself.
“A lady does not “flip out” Pinchy dear. However, I was quite in awe of her, yes.” Then Rarity’s horn began to glow and pull on her slightly. “Oh, over here you three!”
“Did you find some?” Spike asked hopefully.
“Yes Spike, right there!” Immediately both the dragon and two fillies began digging. Both girls got only a few scoops in before both were pulled away by Rarity’s magic. “I believe Spike is more than capable of doing the digging himself and I doubt Midnight would like to get you back looking like you’ve been rolling around in the dirt.”
“Then, what can WE do to help?” Dinky asked, looking a bit forlorn.
“Well, how about I try and teach you how to find gems as well? Three horns are better than one after all!”
-----------------------------
Over the next hour the four of them continued to find gems, although it was more like Rarity and Spike were finding them. Pinchy never got a hang of the spell, and Dinky was only able to perform it once. “Don’t worry dears,” Rarity said comfortingly, “magic takes practice, and I’d say you’ve got in a good amount for the day.”
“Yippee.” Pinchy muttered.
“Not only that, but you’ve all been very patient today, and for that I believe a little reward is in order.” With a flare of magic Rarity lifted three gems out of the cart; a purple one for Dinky, a pink one for Pinchy, and a blue one for Spike.
“Wow, thank you Rarity!”
“Yeah, we can add this to our pillow armor next time!” Rarity raised an eyebrow.
“Pillow… armor?”
“Long story.” Pinchy told her. Spike simply stared at his gem with a look of bliss on his face. Suddenly Rarity’s horn flared again and really tugged on her.
“Oh, bring the cart around! I think we got a big one this time!” As they wheeled the cart over none of them realized they were being watched.
-----------------------------
“Yes, yes! Gems, gems! Precious gems! The purple and green one! He is the gem hunter!” said the mid-sized creature of the group watching the ponies and dragon.
“Yes, so many gems!” said the smaller one.
“We get dragon, we get gems!” said the larger one.
“You know you shouldn’t keep a lady waiting you three!” Rarity called back to the three young ones.
“Wait!” said the middle one, the apparent leader. “Who that!?” The three watchers… watched as the white unicorn directed the others to where the gem cache was. When Spike dug up the gems, a new thought came to them. “It not the dragon we want!”
“It the pony!” the smaller one observed.
“Big pony find gems, maybe little ones find gems too!” the larger one said, causing the other two to nod in agreement.
“Yes, let’s get the ponies!"
-----------------------------
“Alright everypony, I think we’ve got just enough gems for the outfits.” The other three were visibly relieved. “Now to get you all home and-oof!” In turning round Rarity slammed right into something. “What the -oh!” standing before the unicorn was a bipedal dog-creature. “I’m… ah… terrible sorry about that! Is there… uh… anything we can help you with?” The creature nodded.
“Yes, me Diamond Dog!” he began to move forward and the group began to move backwards away from him.
“I see! And… you’re also out hunting for gems?”
“Yes, we hunt! We hunt for gems! But you are better hunter! So now,” if they’d been looking where they were going they might have noticed the two holes rapidly digging up behind them. “We hunt for YOU!” Seemingly out of nowhere two more diamond dogs jumped down on them. Acting on instinct Spike bit the bigger one’s leg while Pinchy bucked the smaller one between the legs. The little one went down but the big one managed to kick Spike off him.
“Run!” the little dragon yelled as he flew a short distance away.
“Girls, get behind me!” Rarity pointed her horn at the two dogs now approaching her; the third one was gone.
“Now you listen here you ruffians! You lay so much as a scraggly nail on one of these foals or myself, you’re going to regret it!" Unfortunately, once again they were backing up and couldn’t see where they were going. Without warning Rarity found herself grabbed from behind and pulled down into the hole.
"RARITY!!" both fillies yelled and they wheeled around fast enough to grab a front hoof each. However they too were grabbed by the two other diamond dogs, and together all six disappeared down the hole as Spike ran up to try and help.
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
-----------------------------
Midnight was having a nice time chatting away with Applejack and everypony else who was with them at AJ’s apple stand, all of whom were her charges conveniently. That little bliss was shattered as Spike came running up to them screaming. “Rarity! Girls! Dogs! Gems! Foalnapped! Save them!” All seven ponies looked at each other in confusion, although three of those words got Midnight and Sapphire very worried.
“Um, could you repeat that one more time please Spike?” Midnight asked, afraid of the answer. The little dragon took a few more huffs, then a single large intake of breath.
“RarityandthegirlsandmewereoutcollectinggemswhenthesethingscalleddiamonddogsattackedusandtheytookRarityandthegirlsundergorundandweneedtosavethemrightnow!” The rest of them still looked confused, but Midnight had made out what he said.
"WHAT!?!?!?
-----------------------------
The six ponies hurried as fast as they could to the spot that Rarity and the girls had been taken with Midnight leading the charge at speeds that even Rainbow found impressive. She had told Sapphire to head home and prepare a letter of assistance to the princess if they didn’t return by nightfall.
The kirin was pissed and scared. Pissed that she had agreed to letting them go with Rarity and scared about what could possibly be happening to them. Pissed that these ‘diamond dogs’ had the nerve to foalnap two fillies in broad daylight and scared about what their mothers would say and think. Oh, and they Foalnapped Rarity too. Cherry on the cake. “You said there was only one hole, right Spike?”
“Yeah, they took all three of them down it!”
“Good, then we know where to… start… digging…” As they rounded the bend and came to the spot, they found the entire area covered in holes. "Buuuuck!"
“Holy mole-y, that’s a lot of hole-ies!” Pinkie said.
“Well, don’t just stand there! Start looking!” With that the kirin was headfirst down a hole, calling for the girls or Rarity to answer. The others began looking in holes of their own, calling down into them but receiving no answer.
Just as Midnight was about to start digging plumes of dirt began erupting out of the holes, filling them up two or three at a time. “We’ve got to get down one before they all fill up!” Twilight shouted. Each pony began trying to get in a hole, but each attempt was in vain. AJ and Midnight came the closest, each trying to muscle through with either raw determination or prolonged fire blast. All that resulted though was a face full of mud and a hole that looked really capped off. However Midnight would not let herself be discouraged. ‘As long as I’m up here and trying to get in, they can’t be down there doing whatever to the girls’.
With that thought in mind Midnight picked another hole and began digging. “Midnight’s got the right idea!” AJ called to the rest of them. “We gotta dig them out!” With that everypony started digging, but it wasn’t long until they each began to get distracted by the diamond dogs, which now were appearing above ground to either trip them, pull their tails, or act as decoys so the ponies would stop digging and chase them instead.
Midnight proved to be a real challenge for them. They’d pull her tail, she’d start whipping it so it would be too dangerous to grab. They’d pop up next to her; she’d try to slash them with her wing talon. Finally one of them got frustrated and ended up giving her a resounding kick in the back of a knee. This did cause her to stop, but it also caused her to shoot out a large plume of flame in the dog’s direction. Unfortunately he ducked behind a pile of dirt and it missed, but the message was clear. Midnight growled when it seemed that all the dogs had disappeared again.
Just as she was about to turn back to her digging she heard Spike yell “I got it!” and saw him running towards an open hole. In a single leap she blocked his path.
“Quietly! We don’t want them to know they missed one!”
“Right, sorry Midnight.” As they neared the hole, Spike whispered something to Twilight, and the unicorn summoned a fishing pole and gave it to the young dragon. Tying the gem Rarity had given him to the fishing line Spike gently lowered it down the hole and they began to wait. It wasn’t a long one. As the young dragon day dreamed about rescuing the fashionista they got a bite. Midnight figured it was all three of the diamond dogs because one by one they began getting pulled down the hole as they each tried to keep the others from doing so, starting with Spike, then AJ, then Twilight, Rainbow, Fluttershy, and finally Pinkie, who actually seemed to be holding on for the fun of it. Midnight grabbed the party pony’s tail before she went in as well, but with all the dead weight now on the other side it was pretty much assured the kirin would be going down with them.
Down, down, down they went, it seemed a great distance until they finally stopped at the bottom. “Ha-ha, it worked!” Spike crowed, proud that they could finally get to the actually saving part and not be toying around with those dogs. However, Twilight went and popped his happy bubble.
“Um, now which way do we go?”
"NNNOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOOO!!!
"BUCK!
“Wait!” Spike yelled out, quickly regaining his optimism. “The diamond dogs collect gems, so all we need to do is go down the tunnel with the most gems! Twilight, you can use the same spell Rarity does!”
“That’s right! Rarity showed me how to do it a few weeks ago! Good thinking Spike!” The baby dragon blushed.
“Aw, it’s nothing for a number one assistant.” Then he hopped onto her back. “Now let’s go save Rarity!” With that the rescue party charged down a tunnel with Twilight and Spike leading the way.
-------------------------
Meanwhile, in a deeper section of the caves Rarity and the fillies were being confronted by their captors. “Please diamond dogs, let us go, or at least let the fillies leave. This is no place for foals.” Rarity begged, but the dogs refused to listen.
“No!” the small brown one yelled.
“You’re all our precious little ponies!” the big one crowed.
“Forever! Mwhahaha!” Both fillies ducked further behind the unicorn.
“But… whatever do you want with us?” Rarity asked nervously.
“Gems!” the leader answered.
“Yes, the gems! The jewels!” the smaller one agreed.
“Find them, find them all!” Immediately the fashionista’s mood changed.
“Oh, is that all?” Immediately the white unicorn’s horn glowed and she began trotting around the cave, followed closely by the fillies. “There,” she said finally, “a lovely cache of jewels right there.” She marked the spot with an X. “Now if you’ll be so kind as to show us the exit-” She was stopped when a guard dog pointed a spear at her.
“Good, now dig them up ponies!” Rarity gave the lead dog a disgruntled look.
“But I thought you wanted me to find the gems?”
“Yes! Find then dig!” the smaller one explained.
“Yes, dig!” Rarity looked from the dogs to the X to the fillies and back. Deciding that she couldn’t get out of it she did indeed begin to dig, but only the smallest scrapes she could manage. The girls waded in with bigger hoof-fulls of dirt, but fear kept them at a slow pace. Finally the big dog lost his patience. “What are you doing!? We said DIG!”
“Please forgive me, but prior to you all dragging us into this dirt pit I had a hooficure and I am NOT about to chip a hoof because you dislike my style of digging!” Rarity went back to her pathetic attempt at excavation. After another minute the head dog had had enough.
“Enough… just… stop!” He looked to a nearby group of guard dogs. “Dig dogs, dig!” The three burly dogs jumped on the spot and dug up the gems in no-time.
“Fine, ponies don’t dig, they pull!”
“And what, pray tell, do you think you’re doing!?” Rarity shouted as two of the dogs approached her and the fillies with harnesses and a wagon.
“Others will dig; you three will pull the wagon.” With that they grabbed each pony and stuffed her into a harness with Rarity in the middle with the biggest one.
“Well, somepony needs a hooficure! Those jagged things you call nails are scratching my coat and I can’t imagine it’s nice for the girls either!”
“BE QUIET!” Their leader yelled, his annoyance clearly heard. It was at that point that Pinchy began to feel less afraid of the dogs. If a little complaining could distract the dogs, maybe a lot could get them out.
“Good heavens, what is that smell?” Rarity asked, her nose scrunching up.
“It smells like old hooves!” Pinchy added, scrunching her face up as well.
"Smeeeeeell?" The dog asked.
“Ah, problem solved; it’s your breath.”
“Did you eat dirty socks for breakfast?” Dinky looked wide-eyed at her friend, but Pinchy just winked at her.
“ENOUGH! Search ponies!”
“Fine, if you insist.” Rarity and the girls did indeed begin to search, however Rarity and Pinchy complained about everything and anything that was a problem with the situation. It smelled, it was dirty, the floor was too rough, it was too cold, the cave didn’t look as nice as it could be. When the dogs didn’t tell the other two to shut up or punish them for the amount of talking Dinky started to get in on it too. “By the way, can we get some water? We’re all terribly thirsty.”
“Or some soda pop?”
“Or juice boxes?”
“Be quiet ponies!” the smaller diamond dog finally yelled, grabbing his ears.
“And that’s another thing; I would appreciate it if you’d stop calling us ponies. We are ladies and should be addressed so. So, you can call me Miss, or Rarity, or Miss Rarity.”
“And my name’s Pinchy!”
“And I’m Dinky!”
“ENOUGH!” the head dog cried out again. “Your whining… it hurt!” Rarity glared at him.
“We are not whining, we are complaining!"
“Yeah, complaining!” both fillies agreed.
“Do you want to hear whining? Thiiis is whining! Ewww, this harness is too TIGHT, it’s going to chafe!”
“My hooves hurt!” Pinchy added.
“Can’t you loosen it!?
“And I’m HUNGRY!” Dinky chimed in.
“Ahhh, it hurts, and it’s so nasty! Why couldn’t you clean it first!? It’s gonna leave a STAIIIN!”
“My mom’s going to be MAAAD!”
“The wagon’s getting heavy!”
“I wanted to make MUFFINS!”
“Why do we have to pull it!?”
“GAAAH! Make it STOP!” the smaller dog cried.
“STOP WHINING!” the leader shouted.
"BUT WE THOUGHT YOU WANTED WHINING!?!?!? " The head dog flopped on the ground with his compatriots; hold his paws over his ears like the rest of them.
“We-We’ll do anything ponies!” All three unicorns looked down at him with angry expressions. “Um, I mean, Miss Rarity, Pinchy, and Dinky, heh-heh.”
“Anything?” Rarity asked with a smile.
-----------------------------
Within minutes the cave was cleaned up, decorated according to Rarity’s instructions and all three ponies were given goblets filled to the brim with cold water. On top of that they were getting fanned while the three main dogs were made to pull the wagons full of gems. “Well, it’s hardly sparkling, but I guess it’ll have to do.”
“Yeah, I wanted soda.”
“And juice.”
While the three unicorns continued to drink and talk, the dogs hauling the wagons stopped when the leader came to a realization. “Wait, why are WE doing this?”
“To stop the awful noises from the ponies’ mouths, remember?” the smaller reminded him.
“Yes, yes, I know! This is ridiculous, letting ponies order US around!? Are we mice or dogs!?”
“Um… dogs?” his lackeys said.
“Dogs do not pull; ponies pull! Let them make the noises!” While the ponies talked the dogs came up behind them and forced the harnesses on them again.
“Hey, what are you doing!? Not so TIIIIIIIIIIIIIGHT!"
“You spilled our DRIIIIIIIIIIIINKS!”
“And I’m still HUUUUUUUUUUNGRY!”
“Hah! Make the noises all you want, but move while you make them! Yah mules!” he crowed, smacking Rarity’s flank.
“Did… did you just call us…mules!?" the white unicorn exclaimed. The dog had enough sense to look abashed, not knowing what was going to come next from the ponies. "Mules are ugly. Are you saying that, we too, are ugly!?" Tears had begun to fill up in Rarity’s eyes and the two fillies were also beginning to tear up, but more so to follow the adult’s lead than by actually being offended. Then Rarity fell to the ground crying, holding the two girls as they too began to cry in nice, high-pitched wails.
“What are these noises!?” the small dog asked.
"He called us UGLY!" Rarity wailed, pointing at the leader. The fillies began to ball even louder.
“No! I said MULE!”
"An old, ugly MULE! And the girls have faces only a mother could lu-ove!" Rarity squeezed the girls tighter, momentarily halting their own crying.
“No, No! You’re all still beautiful po- I mean, Miss Rarity, Pinchy, and Dinky!” the bigger one tried.
"You’re just saying that!"
“No, it’s truth! You’re still pretty and...”
“Oh! And nice!” the leader added, hoping to calm the ponies down.
"I don’t believe you! You never liked us!" The dogs once again covered their ears.
“I’ve had just about enough of this!” the leader growled.
-----------------------------
Midnight, Spike, and the rest of the mane six continued their drive down the gem-filled tunnel when they finally heard a sound. “It sounds like… crying!” Midnight ran harder and started to pull a lead on Twilight. The next thing they knew they were out of the tunnel and in a cavern with barred doors and other tunnels.
“She must be further in! Let’s go!” Just as Rainbow called for the charge guard dogs jumped the group, looping harnesses over their muzzles.
“More work horses!” one of them called out with a grin.
“Ho-doggies! If you can take this bull by the horn, you better be ready fur a ride!” With that AJ jumped forward and began to buck, attempting to throw the dog off her back. The others followed suit and within a few seconds all of the dogs had been thrown off. Well, all but one…
“Come on Midnight, we gotta go!” Rainbow called out to the kirin, who was just standing there with a bored look on her face.
“Come on horsey, go!” the guard dog agreed, kicking her in the sides. Midnight’s eyes instantly narrowed into a death glare that she slowly turned on the dog. “Um… nice horsey?” In the blink of an eye Midnight launched herself into the rock wall back first, squashing the dog on her back and causing him to let go. Immediately she grabbed the back of his breast plate with her now extended fangs and began to pummel him into the ground and walls, a painful “yelp!” escaping the dog each time. Fluttershy made to stop Midnight from hurting the dog, but AJ held her back.
“Might want to let her get it out of her system sugarcube.”
After about a minute of whack-a-dog, Midnight dragged him over and dropped him in the center of the group. Pinning him in place with her front hooves, she bent down over him. “Now, you’re going to take us to where you took the other ponies, and if we don’t find them in the next five minutes, I’M HAVING FRIED DIAMOND DOG FOR DINNER TONIGHT!!!” The dog coward under the kirin’s roar then pointed at one of the doors.
“Ponies in big cave! Ponies right there!” Midnight pulled him up again and followed the others through the door. On the other side of it three more dogs were running at them, and Midnight threw aside the dog in her mouth in order to fight, but the three of them landed at their feet and started begging.
“Too picky!”
“And critical!”
“They won’t stop talking!”
“And crying!”
“We, uh, give them back!” From behind the dogs came Rarity, Pinchy, and Dinky, all smiles and without a scratch on them. While Spike ran up to Rarity, Midnight made a bee-line for the girls.
“Are you two alright!? Did they hurt you!? I am going to have dog for dinner!” Midnight exclaimed, shooting a death glare at the dogs.
“Midnight, we’re alright!” Pinchy cried out from the crushing hug Midnight was giving the two fillies.
“They didn’t really make us do anything.”
“Yeah, they were just a bunch of push-overs! They’re even letting us take all these wagons home!” Looking past the three unicorns their rescuers could see several wagons over-flowing with gems.
“You’re letting them leave then?” Spike asked.
“They’d better be!” Midnight roared, jumping in front of the three dogs who had begun to back away. “And if I EVER see you three again,” she roared in their faces, some fire licking out for emphasis.
“Yes, yes, we understand!” the leader whimpered. “Now please just leave!”
-----------------------------
Back on the surface, the three unicorns took a collective breath of fresh air. It had been a lot easier to get back to the surface with the dogs digging a tunnel for them. Pinchy and Dinky were riding on Midnight’s back while the kirin hauled not one but two wagons behind her.
“There’s no chance I could get you to give me those for my outfits, could I?” Rarity asked her.
“I think six wagons full should do you Rarity. Right now I’ve got plans of my own for these little morsels. But, before I can do any of that, I think some sweets are in order. To help ease the trauma the girls have went through.” Pinchy and Dinky high-hoofed.
-----------------------------
“Alright girls, it’s time for school!” Pinchy and Dinky came out from the kitchen with their saddle bags on. It was the next morning and Midnight had made them a big breakfast which they just finished up. “Are you both ready?” They nodded.
“This weekend was really fun, even if we did get foal-napped by a bunch of dogs.” Midnight’s smile fell.
“I’m really sorry about that girls.” Pinchy waved a hoof.
“It’s alright Midnight, they were too dumb to be scary… for long anyway.” Some of her smile returned at that.
“And again, I’d really appreciate it if we could keep this to ourselves.” The girls nodded.
“What happens at Midnight’s stays at Midnight’s!” Pinchy said with a laugh.
“Thanks girls. Now, hurry up before you’re late!” Both girls waved goodbye as they hurried out the door.
“You got lucky.” Sapphire told her once the door closed behind them.
“Yes, and I’m never letting them out of my sight again when they come over.”
“Do you think they’ll keep their word? About not mentioning the diamond dogs?”
“I think they will. If they don’t I doubt Berry or Derpy will ever let me babysit them again.”
“Well, for what it’s worth I think you’re a great baby sitter and I hope you get to do so again. I’d like to see what happens to our Pillow Knights next time.” Midnight smiled.
“Me too.”
-----------------------------
As it turned out both girls did keep quiet about what happened, but Pinkie is a pony whose lips can sink ships. Thus Sapphire was treated to one of the rarer sights in Equestria: Midnight getting a verbal beat-down and taking it like a foal. Though to be fair it was Berry who did the yelling. Derpy just stood there with a muffin.
Stats
Page generated in 0.028 seconds
Total duration
1,043 users online
1,552,228 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
Makes sense. Nothing bad happened under Midnight's watch. It was Rarity that was responsible for them being kidnapped
Bah...this again. I can watch certain episode by myself. No need for retelling.
I haven't read the first chapter yet, but based on the picture, I'm guessing that Midnight Storm is a cross between a unicorn and a mutated Night Fury? Just a guess
3665778
close. if you read the story the third chapter tells you she's a cross between a pony and a dragon (a wyvern to be exact)
I personally don't mind ret-cons, as long as they're done well, and if this story is any indication, you do them well.
3665957
thank you
Uhhhh, I don't mean to be a jerk, but you misspelled emphasis.
"...she roared in their faces, some fire licking out for enfaces."
Enfaces, nearest I can tell, would be being faced, but not like turning to face someone, if that makes sense. Emphasis, on the other hand, is to emphasize a point, to say something emphatically, that is, with lots of feeling. Great chapter, and again, I don't mean to be rude, it actually made me smile, but I figure that's not its purpose.
3666136
meh, midnight can spell, not me. thanks for pointing that out, as well as liking the chapter.
Ugh i just skipped most of the story cuz it's just a repeat with 2 added characters
also let's talk about this
I HATE when a author does this cuz i automatically skip it why couldn't you write it normally and just say at the end that he said that frantically or fast or whatever
3666263
i'm sorry. I actually like it when an writer does that.
3666625 Damn you!
3666263
Doesn't have the same affect as describing that he spoke quickly.
3666658
exactly. when you read something you want to know how to read it, which helps set tones and atmospheres. Putting stuff like: "he said quickly" at the end of a spoken line doesn't really have the same impact, treating it more like an after thought.
i like it and they did forget about the shed
3666836
thank you
Very nice,
I wonder if Midnight does become a mother how she'll raise her own child.
Best reference in the title, Sadly I will have to read later. Too early now
Want to add Rarity at the end? Hardly fair for Midnight to take the entire beating... Especially when it happened under Rarity's care.
3674861
good point, but it WAS Midnight's final say on if the girls could go.
3700076
You wouldn't have this problem if you hadn't gone into Midnight's shed.
3665980
On retconning: if the character is effectual and actually changes things in the story a noticeable amount (like in this chapter,) it is tolerable. If it well-written, it is actually quite enjoyable. If it is well-written and not the only thing in the story, it is amazing. You have it down pat with this arc in my book.
Derpy, you should be scolding Midnight for her crimes against (Skyrim) your daughter.
You've got a good story going so far. Storm is a little cliche but she's starting to grow on me. I look forward to more. I would like to see Storm not just sort of taking part in all the episodes but slowly develop her own separate storyline instead of just being an additional companion to the mane six. Do you plan on doing anything of that nature?
Please explain to me why there was no sitting on the children in this chapter... Hmmmmmm
BUCK YOU PINKIE
Wow Rarity that was sooooooooooooooo not racist toward mules
Yay
4600263 MUFFINS BUCK YEAH
I love this story, and Midnight reminds me a lot of myself so yeah
STUPID DOG! YOU MADE ME LOOK BAD! BOOGABOOGABOO! *courage the dog screams in terror*
like a boss
3665778 wait what? Why are you commenting on the 10th chaper then?
5420492
4598062 I know right! That's the only issue I have about Rarity: she can be straight-up racist sometimes!
For large sections of this I might as well have been reading the show transcript. Some words are changed here and there but that isn't really changing the scene at all.
Even the scene changes match up.
To sum it up, this chapter is an episode transcript with Midnight bits tacked onto the beginning and end.
4598062
Well, that line is directly from the show; like many in this chapter. She is a dirty white coat supremacist.
And then an angry Kirin is going to tear you apart, and burn your remains to ash. You have fucked up now! Now you have fucked up! Nowyoufuckedup! Nowyoufuckedup! Nowyoufuckedup!
3675024 still the chances of something bad happening to Rarity come on the odds. Not to mention that Midnight stopped at nothing to get to them.
Um... in an earlier chapter (though I cannot remember which one) you said that Pinchy was an Earth Pony, not a Unicorn.
Mmmmm fried Diamond dog...wonder what that tastes like
5972405 You have fucked up now.
Of course they found out! Probably a rather funny sight that such a large mare gets shouted at by a small pony. Kind of reminds me of the sleeping dragon episode with Fluttershy!
I get the Courage reference!
Moral of the story: don't f
ck with mama bear... er mama kirin.
Oh lord, you called the chick ugly. Get ready to listen to all her problems or a breakdown.
7153791
"That's it! I'm gettin'me mallet!"
8642034
No solicitors!
8735271
I love mallet man. ( I could never remember his name as a kid and mallet man sounded cool at the time.)
7153791
Same here.
8893210
Eustace: ooga booga!
I'm suddenly reminded of a song