Chapter Nine: Summer Breeze's Day Out
A Gentle Breeze of Change
Chapter Nine: Zephyr’s Day Out
Zephyr exited the house where she was staying with Chance, a stallion she met last night. She was glad that he let her sleep at his house during that wild thunderstorm. She tried not to think about what would have happened if he wouldn’t be there. Zephyr stretched her wings, flapping them to make sure they were operational. Seeing that they were working, she looked outside.
“Today is a new day!” She said as she took a deep breath. It smelled a bit like humidity. “...and it’s going to be a great one! The air smells clean after that rain and I’m ready to fly!” Zephyr smiled to herself as she started beating her wings with a constant rhythm.
The light grey pegasi took off for a nearby cloud, taking in the morning air. Once she landed on the white cumulus cloud, Zephyr decided to make herself comfortable. She ran her hoof through her light blue-green mane and patted the comfortable material. That was something that a human would never feel in their entire life. She camped out on her cloud, overlooking the area, watching for anything that would be moving on the Earth.
What she saw was a bit surprising. A pony, obviously trying to sneak around town, was hiding behind some trash cans. When she saw that no other human were walking near her, she clumsily trotted toward the other side of the street. Zephyr wondered why the mare tried to sneak in broad daylight.
Zephyr decided that she had to investigate this strange pony. She flapped her wings and took off from her cloud perch in a free-fall position, then leveled out, gliding down into a hovering maneuver. She stayed out of the other mare’s line of sight, and began to follow in the air. What the hay is she doing? The pegasi said to herself. This new arrival warranted an investigation.
When she started to follow the stranger who was trotting down an alleyway, she heard another noise coming from the street. Running under her was a man in his late twenties wearing a pair of pyjamas. In his hand was some kind of gun loaded with what looked like tranquilizing darts.
“Come out, little pony.” He said in a sing-song voice. “I only want your DNA... and body... and SOUL!” He shouted the last part. This man was obviously insane. I was able to see both the weird human and the poor mare. The man was on a perpendicular street from the pony, but in a few meters, he would come face to face with her.
Zephyr frowned as the man with the gun located the poor pony. He began taunting the pink mare with his gun. The still confused pegasus mare flew down, scared of what this man would do with the creature, in an attempt to turn and buck the gun out of the insane man’s hands. “Sorry, not on my watch!” Zephyr shouted at the man when the gun hit the floor. The man looked at the pegasi in question. She had a long, light-blue / green mane and tail with turquoise eyes that burned with righteous fury at the injustice of harming another pony.
“You have no right to harm this poor mare! Now get out of here before I buck you into tomorrow and back!” The courageous pegasus attempted to act threatening, keeping her fierce gaze on the man. “By the way, I’m Zephyr!” She announced to the mare and to the man as she continued to wait for the man’s response.
“Oh look, another one. If you really want to...” He said before grabbing Zephyr’s throat. “...why don’t I take both of you at my funhouse and then we’ll play dissect the pony. Don’t worry, I know you know the rules.” He said while smiling with a malicious grin. This man was down right insane. I’m sure PETA would sue this guy forever.
She thought she was done for, but a voice that she forgot existed brought her back to reality. “Ostie, t’es mieux de la lacher ou je vais aracher tes calisse d’entraille et te les FAIRE BOUFFER, MON TABARNAK!” She was speaking fancy, but Zephyr knew that it wasn’t for thanking the man.
“Oh, look at that. A cute little angry pony is trying to speak French. I’m sorry, but I understand jack s***.” He said while picking up his gun while holding the pegasi. Right when he touched the device, the mare stood right beside him. In her eyes was a lack of something, like if something in her... broke.
Zephyr could feel the man’s hand throttling her throat. The pegasi felt the air going out of her as her ears drooped “You’re hurting me! Stop it right now, or else!” The pegasi saw the pink mare was not too happy. “If you are going to do something...now is the time to strike!” She said to the angry pony, trying to figure a way to release the man’s grip on her throat. She decided to attempt to bite the man’s wrist.
After my futile attempt at trying to escape, I heard a light voice echoing near me. “I said YOU BETTER LET HER GO OR I WILL RIP YOUR...” The pegasi looked into her eyes and saw her coming back to reality, like if some kind of demon escaped her body. Pinky shook her head and looked at Zephyr, her throat still in the palm of the man.
“W... what are you doing to her?!” She asked, her eyes oozing fear. The man deeply laughed as he stood up. Zephyr saw the pink mare staring at the human with fear for her life. She was scared for what would happen to both of them if the human caught her. Before the man could act, though, she saw that his wrist was at the right angle.
She bit his flesh with the strength of an adrenaline-filled pastel colored horse.
Zephyr continued to bite down on the man’s wrist. The taste of human flesh in her mouth was unsettling! She attempted to use her hind legs to buck the man in the chest in order for him to release his grip. “I said, let go!” The man was disoriented by the pegasi’s buck and fell backwards, releasing his grip as he held his hand, now sporting an equine’s bite mark.
“That’s more like it!” Zephyr said confidently, as she turned to the other mare. “You okay? You want me to take you someplace?” The small mare nodded, still shocked. Zephyr flexed her wings to make sure they were not broken.
The shy mare looked at her savior with a small smile. “I... I am Str-... Uh... my name is...” She said, stuttering. Zephyr was confused, at first, but understood quickly after.
“You can tell me both your names.” The pegasi told the earth pony. The mare stared down, sighing.
“My names are Anthony Duquette and Strawberry Frosting.” She said with more confidence. She was surprised that the pegasi knew about her having two names. She suddenly realised that every ponies are human-turned-ponies.
Zephyr sighed, “If you want to know about me, I think we should go someplace private. All I know is, I used to be a weather reporter and meteorologist named William Weston before I became Zephyr. I even have a Cutie Mark!” The pegasi turned to show Strawberry her mark on her flank, which depicted the gentle west wind. “I have an interesting story about this mark. Maybe later, after we go to my place. I hope Chance will be reasonable and let me have a new friend over.”
Strawberry looked at her flank to see her Cutie Mark. It was a piece of vanilla cake with strawberry frosting on top. “I... used to be a pastry chef. I don’t have any interesting stories to share...” She said in an almost silent voice. Zephyr laughed heartily.
“Come on, you must have at least one story to share?” Zephyr coaxed. “I remember something about a celebration where the seasons changed and I was asked by Princess Celestia to help her bring the west wind for the Summer Sun Celebration when I was a filly. That day, I earned my Cutie Mark, and today, I enjoy the weather...except for thunderstorms,...” She then shifted her eyes, “If you tell anypony I don’t like thunderstorms, I’ll deny it.” Zephyr seemed embarassed about the fact that as a meteorologist, her experience in a live thunderstorm the other night unnerved her.
Strawberry looked down at the house they were about to land on. Zephyr landed near the house’s front door. “Okay, Strawberry! We are home, safe and sound. Mind if I call you Berry for short?” Berry nodded, accepting the nickname. The pegasi allowed for Berry to disembark before she headed to the door. “You hungry? After that fight, I’m starved!” The door was opened to reveal the living room. “My friend Chance is letting me stay here for a while. He will not mind letting me have a friend over.”
“Are... you sure? I don’t want to be a burden.” She said, her head dropping near the ground. Zephyr shook her head, waving her hoof to invite her new friend inside. “Hay, if Chance took me in, I’m sure it will be fine. If he asks....” Zephyr was interrupted by the hoofsteps of her host, Chance, the owner of the house she was staying as a guest.
At that time, the white stallion came around the corner from the hallway, “Ask me what, Zephyr?”. Strawberry murmured something fancy which sounded like “Pas vendre l’ours avant de l’avoir tuer.”
Zephyr smiled, “Chance, this is my new friend, Strawberry Frosting. I call her Berry. Berry, this is my friend, Chance. You be nice to her! She’s had a really bad day today...” Berry said that it was the understatement of the year. “...and I think she needs some time to rest and get something to eat.” Zephyr added.
Chance nodded and went to the kitchen, “Certainly. What would you want to eat, Miss Berry?” The Earth Pony Stallion began to rummage through the refrigerator for something for three ponies to eat. Berry blushed a bit, trying to hide it behind her long blond and pink mane.
Zephyr smiled, “Told you, he’d let you stay. Come on, let’s get you some food and drinks.” She noticed Berry blushing. “You okay, Berry?”
Berry brushed her hair off her face with her pink furred leg. She looked at Zephyr, trying to avoid Chance’s eyes. “Yeah, totally okay. Faites que ce sera pas une habitude.” She said in both languages.
Chance got out some oatmeal, fruits, vegetables, and other various pony foods, as well as three glasses of water to drink. “Wow, she’s speaking fancy. Anyway, anypony else want anything different to drink? I prefer water, myself.”
Zephyr smiled, “She speaks two languages, standard English and fancy! That’s great!” She then turned to Berry, “Water okay with you, Berry? I’m having water too.” She headed over to the kitchen table and waits for breakfast, motioning her friend to join her.
“Well... do you think ponies... drink soft drinks?” Berry asked, eliciting a shrug from Zephyr. “Well then... do you have ginger ale? I... might want to test something.” She said, still in an almost silent voice. She was really shy, but it was logical after all she’s been through.
Chance nodded, “Of course, Miss Berry, one ginger ale, coming up!” The stallion went to retrieve the ginger ale and placed ice cubes in each glass. Berry whispered again, but was ignored. He then filled the glasses with the ginger ale.
Zephyr looked over at Berry, trying to make out what her new friend was trying to say, “You need to speak up. Berry. Something wrong with your drink? If you don’t want ice, just tell Chance that you don’t want ice.” She sips her ice water. “This is some quality ice water!”
Berry shook her head. “Nononono, it’s okay.” Zephyr shrugged it off as Berry still being shy. She has to start being more assertive. Zephyr thought to herself.
The food was brought out, and Chance presented the assortment of breakfast treats. “Dig in, everypony. I made enough for you!” Chance smiled as Zephyr selected an apple, and offered one to Berry. “Here, Berry, eat up.”
“Are... you sure? I mean, free food? Is there a trap?” She asked, suspicious.
Zephyr rolled her eyes, “Berry, there is no trap, no tricks. The food is real and so is our friendship. You are safe here, and among ponies like you. We will not judge you or treat you any different. I just met you and you look like you could use someone to talk with. I’m here for you. After breakfast, we can talk in my room. It it’s okay with you..”
“Ponies... like you... *sigh*” She said while grabbing an apple with her muzzle. Berry quickly ate the fruit in less than few seconds. After a few more apples and a bowl of oats ,Berry finally stopped to breathe.
Zephyr and Chance’s eyes widened as Berry gulped down her food. “You really need to learn to slow down and enjoy your meals. No one, or no pony will ever harm you. I guarantee it!” Zephyr holds out a hoof to Berry in friendship.
“Ah knew I hadn’t enjoyed my life... before turning into a pony. Worrying about everything and nothing at the same time.” She said with a light Canadian accent. Then, she hoof bumped Zephyr’s hoof. “Thank you... for your help, Zephy... oh, and you too... Chance.” She said, trying to limit the time her eyes met his.
Zephyr muttered to herself, Zephy, that’s a new one. She then broke her reverie, and accepted the prefered hoof bump of friendship. “You are quite welcome, Berry. A true friend helps those in need.”
Zephyr shrugs, “Nah, I think I’m just going to hang out with Berry in my room,” she looked over at the pink mare, "if that’s okay with you?”
“Y-yeah... I guess. It’s not like... I want to return outside.” She shuttered while saying the last word.
Zephyr felt the uneasiness from her friend, “If you are finished eating, I’ll show you the bathroom and the bedroom.” She finished her meal, and thanked Chance for the wonderful breakfast.
Chance went to the kitchen to wash the dishes, as it was his turn to wash them. “What are you mares going to talk about?” He asked. Zephyr’s face got red, so as Berry’s, “Uhm, nothing...it’s between us girls...right Berry?” Zephyr looked over to Berry.
“Uhh... I guess?” She shrugged, totally oblivious to Zephyr’s reaction.
Zephyr hovered over to Berry, looking her up and down. “So, you’re an Earth pony. That’s cool. I don’t mind. After all, the three pony tribes got together well, even if they had their disagreements in the past.”
“Yeah, but... what do you think I can do. I mean, you can fly. I get to do... nothing.” Berry said, her voice starting to get louder than before.
Zephyr thought about her Cutie Mark and what it represented, “What is your Cutie Mark telling you, Berry? Your Cutie Mark is your special talent , so maybe if you can make me one of those desserts and for yourself, we can figure out what you are good at.”
“Well, I think I can remember one recipe... if you want, we could find the ingredients... but I don’t want to go outside...” Berry said, scared of what was outside. I think she’s getting a bit agoraphobic. Zephyr thought.
Chance came by to check on the girls, “Is everything okay?” He asked with concern in his voice.
Zephyr nodded, “Everything’s fine! Just helping Berry discover her special talent. If we find the right ingredients, she’ll make us a delicious dessert.” Chance smiled at the proposal.
“Well, I guess it’s time to find some ingredients.” Chance replied, heading back to the kitchen.
Zephyr and Berry followed behind Chance and looked for the ingredients. “Let’s see, looks like we have everything we need right here.” Berry said while looking around the shelves, thinking about the recipe.
“If you need anything off the top shelves, I can fly up and get it!” Zephyr said to Berry.
“Alrighty then. Let’s get cookin’!”
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2770066
assets.diylol.com/hfs/c5d/b7d/db0/resized/the-most-interesting-man-in-the-world-meme-generator-figure-it-out-dumbass-08aa74.jpg
2770261 It seems to be self contradicting. He says he hates thunderstorms, yet he says he refutes that. ????
2770275
She tates thumderstorm, but it's a bit humiliating for a weather manager to hate weather. So, she'll deny hating it so she can be a normal weather pegasi.
2770288 Got it.
Thanks for helping me with thi s really cool story.
I would like to thank Strawberry Frosting as well as Vengeful Spirit, and NightShadow2745 for offering to edit the stories before they get published.
Let me know if you spot any problems.
As a special thanks, I offer you a chance for you to be a part of the story!
yes, you can have an Original character to appear in any future chapters, including Chapter 10.
2715700
Going to have to second pretty much all this. Especially 5, 6, and 7. I'm sorry, this story just doesn't seem... quite right to me. It doesn't seem like a Five Score story, it feels like something completely different. Some of the side-stories I actually think are pretty fantastic and fit in very well with the original work (same themes, similar realistic character reactions, same overall seriousness, etc.). This isn't one of them. There are a few other side-stories that I feel the same way about, generally all for similar reasons... It seems a bit of a shame to me.
Admittedly, I haven't read much past the first couple chapters of yours, but it jumped the shark pretty early on in my opinion.
I can't articulate all of the issues well enough here and now, but I'll try to do so at a later date.
2786088 That was highly intentional. Zephyr still works for the weather team, and she has a sister, Autumn Breeze, played by RavenLight.
2787138 Yeah, Sorry About that. I am trying to make it better.
I have another story, called On Our Own, which deals with my OC, Little Horn, my unicorn, being taken care of by her older cousin, Harmony. That story has two Chapters done, and i'm working on the third one.
This story has a great amount of potential. The biggest problem is that it's too rushed. There's been very little real character development. All we know is that Willam suddenly has a mark, and then he's Zephyr and is now a she, and has little reaction to this. It's unrealistic and makes it hard to really be truly interested. Then Zephyr is suddenly revived from when Discord did his thing, and William's practically just gone.
My biggest suggestion is this: take a deep breath and slow down. There's too much telling, and not enough showing. Take the time to space out the paragraphs and the interactions between characters, show us how Zephyr is feeling rather than simply telling us. Make sure to bring up the fact that after the initial shock, Susan and that intern seemed to get over William suddenly being Zephyr a bit too quickly.
I'd also suggest looking at this site's writing guide. It'll help give you an idea of better formatting for a better reading experience. The way the dialogue is worked into the story makes it feel cluttered and as a result it's difficult to focus and follow it. Not to mention the guide will help you in general.
Like I said, there's a lot of potential here. It just needs some work to be better.
[youtube=http://m.youtube.com/watch?v=gsd61lURE1A]
In chapter 9 why did you change Summer's name to Zephyr?
9048620
Originally, her name was Zephyr. But then that episode with fluttershy's brother, also named Zephyr Breeze aired and decided the siblings would be named for the 4 seasons. so Summer, Winter, Spring, and Autumn Breeze (no relation to Zephyr or Fluttershy, unless those characters recognized those names).
2795534
That's why i took a break and went with a collab with Skaltrox Defiance Knight with Lavender Heart, where 6 close friends who share personalities with the mane 6 ponies end up as anthro versions of the mane 6.