Full Metal Horseshoe

by Theta

Confessions of a FUBAR Recruit: First Apple

Solemnly, I passed through town, barely acknowledging the barrage of bright greetings tossed my way. The usual upbeat, extroverted demeanor I normally carried, had sunk into nothing more than a grey cloud of fear. My mind was blank, which made even walking down the road a little challenging. Blank isn't the right word for the emptiness in my head, no, focused is more along the lines. I had friends who I had to tell, and after the fuss my parents put up, I was scared to see their reactions. I knew the fate of my stallion brethren, but it was the small number of mares I had to tell, that made me that way.

In this case, three was the golden number, and I'd drawn the golden fucking ticket; how lucky of me! Not one, but three mares I had to tell; three reactions I had to deal with. I wasn't sure where to begin, or even how; but I was never one to dwell on a choice for too long. I decided to pick the first one I fell for, which ironically is the first pony I ever befriended; needless to say, I was glad the walk to Sweet Apple Acres was a long one. I knew Big Mac had been drafted, we stood next to each other in line earlier; no doubt Applejack knew what had happened already. Still, I wanted to tell her in person where I was going, and...what possibilities might come. Further, I needed to tell her she was the first one I fell for.

---

I remember the day we met. It was the beginning of our second year in elementary school, ol' Mr. Oaks sat us boy-girl in hopes we wouldn't disrupt his class too much. Little did he know, colts and fillies make the best of bad situations. Well, as bad as that could be for young children. I was as cheerful as the sun was bright, and Applejack was one of the most extroverted fillies in the school; we hit it off immediately. Well, if you count me shooting spit balls at her, and her throwing pencils at me hitting it off, then I'd say we hit it off pretty damn fast. It was about half way through the school year before either one of us really talked to each other, but when we started, we wouldn't stop. Together, we made Mr. Oaks lessons hell, he couldn't get through an entire lesson before either one of us would laugh. And if you know kids, let's just say 'chain reaction' is an understatement. It was like someone stowed away laughing gas under the floor, and released it at sporadic times during class. It remained like that, even to the last day of our last year; our final year of school. We could've put beds in the principals office, because sixty percent of our time was spent there.

It was our second year of middle school (you know, the time when all hormonal driven teenagers develop feelings for others) when I had built up the courage to confess to her. Problem is, she was already talking to me about other guys, the ones that stood out, and the one that really stood out. Up until that day, she never mentioned a name; and it left me hoping, believing that it was me. I was both pissed and distraught when we sat down that day. It wasn't anything that wasn't the normal, we had played in one of the fields on her farm, running around and laughing like fools; afterwards, we sat in her club house. I still don't know what made her do this, but she leaned in and rested her head on my shoulder; which only boosted my confidence. The first thing that came out of her mouth was, "Thank ya for bein' the bestest friend Ah've ever had, Cascade! Ah think it's time I told ya who it is Ah got it in fer... it's Caramel! He's so cute! Ah mean, how his mane sits and how good of a worker he is, he's just...just perfect! More perfect than the most perfect apple tree in all of Sweet Apple Acres!"

I sunk faster than a rock in water, hell if I hadn't been frozen with disappointment, then I would have run out in an instant. Subconsciously, I let out, "Yeah... No problem...," Never before had I ever felt so much anger and disappointment. It was something that I later learned was jealousy. I had always thought the love songs were wrong; that one's heart could never feel like it was ripped out. They were right. Not just because they told me so, but because it really did feel like my heart was ripped out and stomped on. "Applejack..I-I gotta go.," I left her that night sitting in her clubhouse, confused as ever. I never told her how I felt, it was always her who would say who she liked. From her first relationship, to her first real relationship; I was there. I was the shoulder that would always greet her teary eyes. I hated to admit it, still hate to admit it, really; I was a rebound. I was an in between for a confidence boost.

---

I got so lost in my memories, I hadn't even thought of what I was going to say. I was already at the farm by that point, and beyond that, I had knocked on the door without thinking. I hoped, no prayed, that they were out in the fields working. I reassured myself by thinking, It's applebuck season, right? No, yeah that's right! Every fall, they harvest the apples! I turned to leave, when I felt a hand grab onto my arm. It was too small for it to be Mac, but too big for Apple Bloom; it was the mare of the hour, Applejack. I turned my head back, only to see a crying mare. For the first time in years, I saw AJ without her hat on, and with distraught hair. Her usual confident attitude had gone sour; tears were slowly forming puddles at her feet, and as she lifted her head up, it was apparent she had been crying for a while. I turned around completely, and embraced her in a hug; unable to think of anything to say.

She was the first to speak up. In a soft voice, she whispered, "Please tell me ya ain't leavin' too... Cascade, please tell me ya didn't register for the draft already..."

Without a word, I lifted her hand to my head, making sure it rubbed over the stubble that remained. "I...I ship out for basic in three days.", I said in a hollow, emotionless voice. "And Applejack... I'm sorry."

"Sorry fer what, sugarcube?," AJ asked as she wiped tears from her cheeks.

"For caring for you, and not telling you. For not being here when you really need me. For not being good enough for you.," I turned back around, and headed for town. Right as I came to the entrance of the farm, a familiar touch came across my shoulder.

I looked back to once again see a teary eyed Applejack, "Ah...Ah had no idea ya felt so strongly for me. Ah'm sorry Ah guess Ah did take advantage of ya... Dammit, Cascade, Ah've experienced a lot of pain today, and tellin' ya this just adds wood to the fire... Ah can't see ya as more than just a friend. Ah'm...Ah'm sorry.," AJ's voice dipped into a whisper, and her gaze had fallen to the ground.

"Yeah...You and I both. And...And if by some reason I don't come back, remember that you were the first mare I ever fell for.," I gently brushed her hand off of my shoulder, and continued my walk back to Ponyville. It was a silent, and unpleasant walk; having to tell the mare I was the closest with that I may not come back was...hard; hearing that she'd never look at me as more than a friend just plain hurt. To make it worse, I had no emotion in my voice. It was nothing but a monotone noise being emitted from my mouth.

By order, Rainbow Dash was next. Hell, that scared me more than taking a bullet; Dash was unpredictable, especially when it came to emotions. She never had a strong relationship with anyone, and it reflected when she spoke. She could make a grown stallion cry, just by chewing him out; it was that, that made me scared. The fact that I was close with her, and that she would explode on me scared the shit out of me.

Author's Note:

FUBAR was put in there for Saving Private Ryan lovers...for those of you who don't know the acronym, it stands for Fucked Up Beyond Any/All Repair.

Comments

[jaybird]

wow great chapter as usual im glad that Ur going into detail on how he met the mane six cant wait for the next drop oh yea where did u find that poem on the cover page the one in italics

[Theta]

2691337 Thank you once again , I actually was googling Vietnam related things before I started on this story, and you'd never guess where this was etched...On a Zippo lighter! Cool, right? Never saw it before a few days ago, but it's literally one of the coolest things I've ever seen. Oh and I plan on having the next chapter out later today or tomorrow.