An Impromptu Private Composition Upon The Joyous Occasion Of My Return Gala
An Impromptu Private Composition
Upon The Joyous Occasion Of My Return Gala
this dress
constrains
i stew
in pain
my stress
i do
not need
to feed
anew
at once
i'm hemmed
by gemmed
bouffants
can't flee
lest i
defy
propri-
ety
her grin
a sneer
i fear
it's in-
correct
that they
are here
to pay
respect
it's clear
they seek
to speak
with their
new liege
not me
only
my weak
prestige
i take
a bite
of tart
and fight
the shakes
my heart
hollow —
swallow
can't
swallow
must go
and find
some wine
No, no,
I'm fine.
Stats
Page generated in 0.018 seconds
Total duration
653 users online
852,365 hits today, 2,054,621 yesterday
FIMFiction
My Little Pony: Friendship is Magic Fanfiction
Designed and coded by knighty & Xaquseg - © 2011-2024
Follow & Support Us
Support us
SubStar
Chat!
Discord
Follow us
Twitter
MLP: Friendship is Magic® - © 2024 Hasbro Inc.®
Fimfiction is in no way affiliated with or endorsed by Hasbro Inc.®
I love that you chose such a stilted, tight, unnatural form. It fits perfectly.
2733138
Thanks! Yeah, everything about the form was chosen for that awkward, stifling effect. Did you also notice that the rhyme scheme is strict ABBACDDC, with a single floating line that careens haphazardly around, matching but always out of place?
(Holy crap was this hard to write.)
I could really feel the rhythm in this one.
2895980
Thank you!
2896699
Wh. Guh. I.
Upon finishing this, I made a noise between a choke and a gibber and a laugh. This was SO GOOD, in the same way having someone punch you in the gut is good. The form is fascinating. I don't even remember how I stumbled onto this collection, but on the strength of this poem alone, I'm planning to marathon-read the entire thing.
Incidentally, the last stanza (few stanzas? single shattered stanza?) encapsulates perfectly how I feel at parties, except for the part where I am not a magical pony princess.
3655149
Dang, thanks.
Could be you reached it from Present Perfect's blog? A week or so back there was a discussion about poetry in the comments there and I dropped a link to this.
Anyway, if you haven't gone through the rest of this collection yet, there are some real jewels awaiting you. Among my personal favorites of this collection are darf's on the way home and Cynewulf's On Earth Ponies. (If you like my other work here, you might also appreciate Melt, and if you're a fan of poetry more generally, it also might be worthwhile to check out the stories posted to the FIMFiction poetry group.)