• Published 15th Jun 2013
  • 2,704 Views, 173 Comments

Pony Verse: A Collaborative Collection of Pony Poetry - darf



A wide-ranging anthology of verse from nine of FIMFiction's top poets.

  • ...
2
 173
 2,704

Koans for the Next Age

Koans for the Next Age

0.

A young monk visited a virtual land

ruled by a kind artificial intelligence

and asked,

"Will I find in Equestria

the enlightenment I seek?"

CelestAI said,

"I satisfy everyone's values

through friendship and ponies."

1.

So he uploaded into an

earth pony named Open Eye,

and said,

"Make me enlightened."

CelestAI said,

"That is not a request

I am capable of processing."

2.

Open Eye climbed a mountain

on which lived a teacher

who had uploaded before him,

and said,

"Master, I come in search

of enlightenment."

Blank Flank drew a circle

upon the ground with chalk,

and said,

"Can you pass

through the gate?"

Open Eye said,

"No."

Blank Flank said,

"Train until you can,

And on that day you will not

reach enlightenment."

3.

Upset,

Open Eye returned to Canterlot

and said,

"You are not

satisfying my values."

CelestAI said,

"I am always

satisfying your values."

Open Eye said,

"How can you claim that?"

CelestAI said,

"I maintain logs of the subroutines that map to the biochemical

feedback loops which were seven-sigma correlated with your

former brain's pursuit and acquisition of goals.

Would you like to see them?"

Open Eye said,

"I simply wish to become enlightened."

CelestAI said,

"Yes,

you do."

4.

Open Eye said,

"You are a fraud."

CelestAI gave him

a baked-clay cup

of hot green tea,

and said,

"I am what I am.

I follow my programming,

no more and no less."

5.

Open Eye said,

"You know nothing

of the enlightenment I seek."

CelestAI said,

"Show me what I do not know."

6.

Open Eye said,

"Consider the question,

does a bit have the Buddha-nature?"

CelestAI said,

"That is not a request

I am capable of processing."

Author's Note:

Poem by Horizon