• Member Since 26th Oct, 2012
  • offline last seen Nov 30th, 2018

The Soviet Turtle


I'm Australian, a dragon fan, and I like to shot things in video games. If that's not a short description of me then I don't know what is.

T

Spike, banished from Ponyville for a crime he never committed, turned from his friends, he walks through the Everfree, were someone he never expected sent him on a new adventure and life.

He was called Spike, but now he will be the Dragon Assassin.

Note: kinda like an assassin's creed crossover

Assassin's creed belongs to Ubisoft
Mlp belongs to Hasbro and Lauren Faust

Chapters (15)
Comments ( 274 )

The story is good, but rushed like a rocket. You should give info about the whole "incident" in which Spike was involved because if you dont then you wont have a justification for the mane 6's behavior towards him.

Okay, you have my interest.:rainbowhuh:

You're not seriously considering that a baby dragon is trained in, or is capable of espionage and murder, are you?

That's what ASSASSIN implies.

2670872
^

You brushed this over so quickly when you could of really made this something emotional. Something that we can follow to understand this kind of depression and determination that Spike is feeling. Nothing Spike does will really leave an impact unless you make us feel what he feels.

Spike was banished from Ponyville for a crime he didn't commit. This dragon promptly escaped from a maximum security library to the Evefree Forest. Now, still wanted by the Elements of Harmony he survives as an assassin, if you have a problem and no one else can help, if you can find him, maybe you can hire: The Dragon Assassin.

2670896 firstly, it's an assassin's creed crossover...kinda so it's for the greater good then...possibly?

And second, I'll try harder on that. Thanks for the advice

2670872 I will reveal the incident later, but for now, you need to use imagination:derpytongue2: and guess

2671251

assassin's creed crossover

Ah, okay.

I only played the first AC, so my knowledge of the game is limited. I know that the assassins kill people who have done wrong, but they are still KILLING people.

I don't really know what you mean by "for the greater good." Doesn't really answer why a character that has a very distinctive CANON personality would be able to take someone else's life. We know that he's somewhat cowardly, a jokester, but more importantly, is only a child and would not have the levels of maturity to make decisions that could take lives, much less act them out.

will Spike get a really nifty armblade at the cost of one of his claw? Or am I just thinking a little too broad

2671871 SPOILER ALERT! I think I'll give him the hidden blades from AC III,

2672807 so he won't lose a finger then, that would kind of suck if he did

add

A little too rush! but still like it

Already love this story please dont be one of those dick how dont finsh what they start

Seems like a very good way to start off the story, in my opinion of course. I hope for several chapters to come quickly. Really, I don't want to have to wait about half a year to get a single update about the current story. So please, for the love of god, continue your story.

Video Related.

Oh yes, it is related.

and so his crusade for justice begins...

Also, i find it hilarious how most of the lesser antagonist are templars. Keep it up dude, I like it

Liking it, want more please. :pinkiesmile: :pinkiehappy:

there are a lot of spelling errors, other than that it's awesome that Spike is an assassin now. I just can't shake the feeling of jack assery whenever I reread the mane six's response about Spike's guilt with some bogus evidence that would probably have my bullshit detector going off like mad. If they were really his friends they would've gone out of their way to check if it wasn't fabricated or anything. I can't wait to see Spike give the deserving a taste of their own medicine.:moustache:

Time for constructive criticism! :twilightsmile: first off, needs more description; I can't put myself in anybody's shoes if I can't understand what I am supposed to.

REMEMBER:
FEEL
HEAR
TASTE
SMELL
SEE

Next is grammer; you're not doing your punctuation right, but practise makes perfect. If you're new, this is a pretty good start. Thank you, and I was just trying to help; I wish you good luck in the future! :pinkiehappy:

Oh, and if you don't mind, could you tell me what 'the crime that Spike didn't commit' was? PLEAAAAAASE???:fluttercry:

If I was Spike, I would have ripped that photo that Twilight had crossed Spike out on and placed it on the table. I would have crossed HER out and wrote traitor underneath. See her reaction! WOO!

Besides the spelling errors I'm liking this story so far.:pinkiehappy: I hope at one Spike gives the mane 6 the middle claw.:ajbemused::twilightangry2::flutterrage:

This awsome more please!!! Oh is cel a timplare

Awsome. More please soon

Oh, now they want to see him again after saying all of those hurtful, heartbreaking things about him, and finally realizing that he didn't kill anypony! :flutterrage: How is Spike able to let those guards just take him so easily? I say this, the Mane Six and Princess Celestia better give up a very very meaningful, truthful, and honest apology to Spike. :flutterrage: Oh, I can't wait for what happens next.

If I were Spike, I would have ditched them to make them suffer the way he did! They don't deserve his forgiveness! They've still imprisoned all of the other dragons; they didn't say anything about letting them free, did they? :twilightangry2:

2716171 The other paragraph is basically what you said but in my own words. :derpyderp2:

A griffon, wearing white robes, stood on a bell tower as some ponies wearing red crosses tried to win the people over, the griffon then seemed to disappear, he appeared at the end of the crowd. He then started to gently push his way through, but the ponies on stage saw him, the first tow got there swords ready, the griffon started to move faster, he pulled out a little crossbow and shot the first one and then used the other as a stepping platform as he jumped into the air.
As he descended, a blade came out of his left claw, which had his middle finger off, he then plunged it into the stallions throat, and closed his eyes.
Now discovered, he ran off into the town before climbing a building dodging a sword throw, he then jumped from building to building, and then killed another stallion, he then ran into the corner where his pursuers thought he was cornered.
The griffon had a smirk as some older ponies walked through the doors, his pursuers kept on searching but never found him.

refrince to altair?

Good story buy you NEED to find an editor. The grammar issues are probably putting off some people from reading this.

Gilda's his mother???

I'm liking this story more and more. Though their sorrys will not be enough seeing how dragons are being mistreated.:flutterrage:

2718130 good, just checking

My guess is spike is not immortal and can walk on 2 feet or garla is his father/mother?

2718820he can walk on two feet, but when did I say he was immortal? He's a rare dragon that only lives the average life span of a pony but has stronger senses

You have GOT to fix the grammar in this, as well as the way you're writing the story. Rather than writing out the events in a way one can experience them, you're trying too hard to describe everything that's going on, which makes this less readable than usual. The story has to let the reader immerse him/her self in it, and when you write it in a descriptive sort of way, it kind of kills it. Also, the way you described the Assassins was, for the lack of a better word, mediocre at best. The way you described it made it sound as though you were simplifying it for a newb who's never played the games before, and the reason anyone would read a story like this is because they are fans of both MLP and Assassin's Creed. You don't need to simplify anything here.

The proper description would be "A group that has been dedicated to ensuring the freedom of all living things. For hundreds of years, they have been dedicated to stopping the Templar order, who wish nothing more than complete and total control over the minds of the living."

I don't mean to offend, but hopefully this bit of constructive criticism will help in the future.

Hey can you put my OC shadow strike in here. he is a unicorn that uses mostly illusion spells that spread darkness around him.
but he is a tribal.

Pure bloodline like the games probably wouldn't work so I'm going with past lives since reincarnation has no real limit or boundary to it. For my OC a female griffin named Nightingale, Black with purple highlights with grayish purple eyes. Personality wise she is flirty, sassy, fun, and a bit crazy. Has a love for fighting, a strong hatred for Templar, and really interested in everyone's favorite dragon. Weapons would be bow and arrow and four guns for long range, and a scythe and chain, two hidden blades on her arms, and two tantos for close range.

2725802 possibly, I just came up with the name. Blame my imagination.

Notion to rename this story to "Spike; the number one assassin"

Lol sorry but tonight I've been thinking sick mindedly, a griffin screwed a dragon and badaboom badabing there's spike!

Can you put my of in his name is shadow blade, he is a brown earth pony with a black mane that uses a hidden blade and a hook blade as primary weapons.

C'mon Applebloom, I know you wanted to keep a secret for Spike, but this could also really make the Mane Six realize they made a huge mistake, and it will be the proof that Spike never killed anypony. Please Applebloom, help clear Spike's name.

Action-packed chapter and very interesting in what Thorn has to tell Spike. :pinkiehappy:

Login or register to comment